My Crippling Anxiety (keeps getting worse)

[Mason Heidger]

I've had anxiety issues since I was very young, probably about 5 or 6 years old. My anxiety completely comes from thinking I'm going to die. I constantly think there is something wrong with me, whether it's my heart, my brain, my lungs, numbness in my arms or legs, my breathing is wrong, my eyesight is fading, my hands are cramping until I won't be able to move them, I can't talk as much because it feels like I don't have enough air, to so on and so forth. For a long time I would just have a panic attack and be okay after that, back to my normal self and I could cope with that but this entire year has been an entirely different monster. I am constantly worrying about something and it doesn't go away and the fear of knowing it's not going to go away is crippling me completely. I can't do anything anymore without checking in with my body to see if I'm going to have a panic attack, which a lot of the times it starts one. Take working out. Usually I would just start working out and after a week or so I would be a lot better off, but lately when I even start running I have to stop after a VERY short period and check in with my body to see how it's doing, which usually results in a minor panic wave and then it'll go away as my heart slows down to normal so now I can't even work out. There is so much fear. I used to be able to go to the doctor and he'd tell me I was fine and I'd be great and happy walking out of there. Now when I leave I instantly think "Sure, maybe I was fine inside during the test but what if they missed something or I wasn't having an issue then? What if NOW the problem is starting?" I feel completely broken and unable to fix and at this point I'm just waiting to die to get peace, which I don't want and just want to feel good again. I'm 26 years old and think I have a LOT of life left to live! But I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared and fearful every minute of every day.

[tailspin]

Hi Mason, Welcome to the site! I'm really sorry you are going through this. I know you will find many people here who can relate. I'm one of them!

I'm wondering if you've considered an anti-depressant medication? It can really help break the cycle you are stuck in. As you say, it's not like you're just having occasional panic attacks and then, 10 minutes later you're fine. This is constant and it's really having a negative impact on your life. Personally I think that an SSRI is well worth trying for the type of chronic, high-level anxiety and persistent intrusive thoughts you are experiencing. I take one and, even though I still struggle, I'm definitely better than I was.

There are many other things you can try too - therapy for one - but it can be hard to follow through with anything else when you are stuck in this awful cycle because, as you say, it is so crippling. I hope you're able to talk to your doctor - or better - a psychiatrist about trying medication.

Hang in there!!!!!

[HealthAnxNut]

I have a lot of those same issues. As my name implies, my anxiety is related to health concerns, and I have creeping thoughts that constantly like to tell me what COULD be wrong with me. I also have the thoughts about "maybe the doctor missed something". Yes, they tested my heart, but maybe I need an MRI of my brain? Ugh. I get the numbness and pain in my arms, my hands cramp a lot. I don't even want to work out because I'm afraid of my heart rate. I have a cardiac stress test on a treadmill scheduled for next week, and I'm terrified! Even though I'll be surrounded by cardiologists. I am 34 and I have a toddler, and I know I need to get a hold on this thing, so I can feel happy again. I started a med last Tuesday, and I'm hoping it will be the answer. I've struggled for years without meds, trying to handle it myself, but I felt I needed some help. It's exhausting, isn't it??

[Mason Heidger]

Yeah I was on zoloft for 2 or 3 years on the smallest smallest dose. I never really felt that it helped at all and I spent 6 months weaning myself off very slowly and I was fine for an entire year. Better than I'd ever been. I started therapy at one point but it was during a time when I was completely fine and felt I didn't need anything. Every time I think about medication again I remember all the side effects and how hard it was to get off of and whether or not it actually did anything, plus, as you said, most people seem to still struggle, which so did I. I think you're right though. Being better than you were is a good thing.

[Mason Heidger]

I'm sure you'll do great with the test (so easy to say). I'd really like to hear back from you and hear the good news!

[J19o94y]

I have a lot of those same issues. As my name implies, my anxiety is related to health concerns, and I have creeping thoughts that constantly like to tell me what COULD be wrong with me. I also have the thoughts about "maybe the doctor missed something". Yes, they tested my heart, but maybe I need an MRI of my brain? Ugh. I get the numbness and pain in my arms, my hands cramp a lot. I don't even want to work out because I'm afraid of my heart rate. I have a cardiac stress test on a treadmill scheduled for next week, and I'm terrified! Even though I'll be surrounded by cardiologists. I am 34 and I have a toddler, and I know I need to get a hold on this thing, so I can feel happy again. I started a med last Tuesday, and I'm hoping it will be the answer. I've struggled for years without meds, trying to handle it myself, but I felt I needed some help. It's exhausting, isn't it??


Strange you say that only a few months ago I had a strange pain in the left side of my chest and I kept my arm there the whole time and thought about it the whole time and was worried if I forgot something bad would happen I saw many doctors even had a breast examination was crying all the time my bf didn't know what to do but even seeing all those doctors I managed to make myself believe they were either lien, wrong or had missed something! it took 3 weeks for me to calm down...

[HealthAnxNut]

Yeah I was on zoloft for 2 or 3 years on the smallest smallest dose. I never really felt that it helped at all and I spent 6 months weaning myself off very slowly and I was fine for an entire year. Better than I'd ever been. I started therapy at one point but it was during a time when I was completely fine and felt I didn't need anything. Every time I think about medication again I remember all the side effects and how hard it was to get off of and whether or not it actually did anything, plus, as you said, most people seem to still struggle, which so did I. I think you're right though. Being better than you were is a good thing.

Honestly, I am terrified of side effects, and this first week has not been easy. But I keep reminding myself the alternative, which is more of the same old same old, and is it worth a chance? Can I be stronger for a few weeks, and hold out, in hopes that I'll feel better in the end? It's been hard, but I'm determined to get through it. Maybe it's something you could try again, but a different med?

[HealthAnxNut]

Strange you say that only a few months ago I had a strange pain in the left side of my chest and I kept my arm there the whole time and thought about it the whole time and was worried if I forgot something bad would happen I saw many doctors even had a breast examination was crying all the time my bf didn't know what to do but even seeing all those doctors I managed to make myself believe they were either lien, wrong or had missed something! it took 3 weeks for me to calm down...

That is the crappy thing about health anxiety. Well, one of many. You get something in your head, and you worry about it for weeks, and it just goes away, and then you feel like a real nutjob!!

[J19o94y]

That is the crappy thing about health anxiety. Well, one of many. You get something in your head, and you worry about it for weeks, and it just goes away, and then you feel like a real nutjob!!

Absolutely! I always think well next time I'm panicking just think of the time before but I always think to myself but what if this time is different lol

[Perses]

did an external circumstance bring this anxiety on? Why do you think it's become so severe this year?