Day from hell today :-(

[petrified]

Absolutely had the worst day ever. It started fine then had a phonecall to say my sister in law had left her husband and had been having an affair for a year. My husband obviously went to see his brother in law and I no it sounds really selfish of me but I asked him not to go as I don't like being on my own. I couldn't go with him as I didn't want my son to see his uncle upset. Anyway within a couple of hours my panic kicked in which was really hard to deal with it started as pins in needles in my arm at my sons football training so I had 2 propananol which didn't help. By the time we got home I was a complete mess. So I continually rang my husband and bless him really tried hard to calm me down. The thing is he's been home for 4 hours now and I'm still in a complete panic not even sure why to be honest. Why is it every time I'm supposed to spend time with my hubby (when he's not working) and he's not here it really panics me. I have now been panicking and pacing the house for 7 hours I'm a mess and wish I could settle. I've tried sitting, concentrating on my breathing, sipping water, watching my favourite film, reading my favourite book, having a bath and playing with my son. I just feel really on edge and frightened. Anyone got any help please? I really apologise for going on so long just needed to write it down. I feel like such a bad person putting this on my husband all the time :-(

[newzie]

All I can say is hang in there. I have been there; you're exact spot. No one likes being left alone when they are dealing with anxiety, so it is completely natural to feel the way you feel.

Here is what would help me:

- You have your son there, take solace in that. You are not alone
- If you are anything like me after a huge adrenaline dump, you will feel pretty great afterwards; just think about how good you will feel once the hubby is home
- Call someone, talk to a neighbor or friend; if you don't have any of them who are free right now, go into a chat room
- If you can handle it, put the kid in a stroller and take him for a walk outside the house, don't go too far, just maybe up and down the street or around the block


Lastly, I know it can feel like you are an absolute burden, but don't! If you have a broken leg and your husband had to drive you to the doctor's office, you wouldn't feel as bad right? The thing which is hard for a lot of people to understand as that you actually have an illness, you could look at it like diabetes or flu. You need things to manage it, and of those things is possibly your husbands support. That is not to say you won't ever be free of it, but for the time being you need that support; I am sure he loves you very much and even though at times it might be hard for him, he is nothing but glad to help you out.

[tailspin]

Really sorry you're having such a bad day petrified! When I'm doing really badly anxiety and panic-wise I definitely prefer it if my husband is home too. But sometimes I work myself into such a bad place that even my husband can't help me. It's like I enter my own private hell and no one can reach me. I'm still glad he's there, but at that point nothing helps anymore and I just have to ride it out and wait until it's over, which can take hours ('it" being the panic).

So perhaps, by the time your hubby got home you were already so panicky that even his presence didn't really help anymore? Obviously, that is a totally awful state of affairs :( It's literally like you just have to grit your teeth and white-knuckle it until it's over. But it's so hard when it goes on for hours and hours.....Do you have anything extra you can take when it gets too much? Something like Ativan? I have a small stash of that stuff for dire emergencies. Also don't forget to keep telling yourself that this will pass!!! You won't feel this bad forever and soon you will feel better again!!!

PS: I also totally agree with newzie that in no way are you a burden to your hubby!!! I bet he is very glad to know that he is able to help you.

[trinidiva]

I agree with what the others said. You are not a burden, this is a real disorder, and we all need the extra support at times. When my husband isn't home I call my mom or sister. Or I find a completely corny show to watch on tv, like America's funniest home videos or something that will make me laugh. You cant truly have a good laugh without the anxiety going away or subsiding a bit. It helps, trust me. I'm having an icky day myself, but I had to pull myself together for my kids birthday party today. You know, during the entire time, I was fine...no major anxiety symptoms. As soon as it was over...guess what comes creeping back.......well, I'm going to distract myself and hope it works. I do hope you feel better soon.

[petrified]

All I can say is hang in there. I have been there; you're exact spot. No one likes being left alone when they are dealing with anxiety, so it is completely natural to feel the way you feel.

Here is what would help me:

- You have your son there, take solace in that. You are not alone
- If you are anything like me after a huge adrenaline dump, you will feel pretty great afterwards; just think about how good you will feel once the hubby is home
- Call someone, talk to a neighbor or friend; if you don't have any of them who are free right now, go into a chat room
- If you can handle it, put the kid in a stroller and take him for a walk outside the house, don't go too far, just maybe up and down the street or around the block

Lastly, I know it can feel like you are an absolute burden, but don't! If you have a broken leg and your husband had to drive you to the doctor's office, you wouldn't feel as bad right? The thing which is hard for a lot of people to understand as that you actually have an illness, you could look at it like diabetes or flu. You need things to manage it, and of those things is possibly your husbands support. That is not to say you won't ever be free of it, but for the time being you need that support; I am sure he loves you very much and even though at times it might be hard for him, he is nothing but glad to help you out.

Thanks so much I've just settled now and my phone died which made me worse lol. I haven't had an attack like that in weeks and it really scared me. Thanks so much for your kind words and its just I feel that way about my husband as he was really ill two year ago and it's always been me caring for him, I'm not used to it being this way around

[petrified]

Really sorry you're having such a bad day petrified! When I'm doing really badly anxiety and panic-wise I definitely prefer it if my husband is home too. But sometimes I work myself into such a bad place that even my husband can't help me. It's like I enter my own private hell and no one can reach me. I'm still glad he's there, but at that point nothing helps anymore and I just have to ride it out and wait until it's over, which can take hours ('it" being the panic).

So perhaps, by the time your hubby got home you were already so panicky that even his presence didn't really help anymore? Obviously, that is a totally awful state of affairs :( It's literally like you just have to grit your teeth and white-knuckle it until it's over. But it's so hard when it goes on for hours and hours.....Do you have anything extra you can take when it gets too much? Something like Ativan? I have a small stash of that stuff for dire emergencies. Also don't forget to keep telling yourself that this will pass!!! You won't feel this bad forever and soon you will feel better again!!!

PS: I also totally agree with newzie that in no way are you a burden to your hubby!!! I bet he is very glad to know that he is able to help you.

Thanks tailspin, yeah it was too late when he got home. I just seemed to snap out of it not long ago I'm exhausted now but pleased its passed. I only have my propananol (beta blockers) to take, but I'm going back to my doctors on Monday to review my meds. But I'm going to be fine tomorrow!! I am going to have a great day (positive thinking). Thanks again for your kind words :-)

[petrified]

I agree with what the others said. You are not a burden, this is a real disorder, and we all need the extra support at times. When my husband isn't home I call my mom or sister. Or I find a completely corny show to watch on tv, like America's funniest home videos or something that will make me laugh. You cant truly have a good laugh without the anxiety going away or subsiding a bit. It helps, trust me. I'm having an icky day myself, but I had to pull myself together for my kids birthday party today. You know, during the entire time, I was fine...no major anxiety symptoms. As soon as it was over...guess what comes creeping back.......well, I'm going to distract myself and hope it works. I do hope you feel better soon.

Thanks trinidiva I hope you are feeling better also I'm often like that its like anxiety is there for the build up before things vanishes during and then comes back with a vengeance afterwards. I think today I just needed to snap out of it myself just really struggled being by myself. My husbands usually quite good at distracting me when he notices I'm beginning to panic. I hope your panic passed quickly and you managed to distract yourself. Thanks again for your kind words and advice :-)

[tailspin]

Really glad the worst is over petrified!! Yes, tomorrow will be better!!!!!