People calling me a 'weirdo' strange looks, poor quality of life

[Justin J]

I've had depression and anxiety since I was 15 - now I'm 21. I have no friends because of the way I look. I can live with that. I can't however, live with the constant looks, the name calling when I walk down the street. Yeah I've done suicide and I'm trying to make a life for myself now - got into college where I'll have no friends. Yeah ok I can deal with that. I can't deal with the name calling and the stares from random people. I'm at braking point and as much as I hate violence, I feel like I can't contain my anger towards these people anymore.

i.imgur.com/u0TPpZx.jpg

I stopped seeing my councilor 1 year ago. I gained a lot of weight - I was 300lbs, now I'm 160 lbs. Achieved something good there but it really means nothing when you still get people calling you names like 'weirdo' 'freak' and generally starring at you. I ignore them but I can feel my anger inside. How do you deal with this?

[HealthAnxNut]

Why do people have a problem with the way you look? You look totally normal to me. Where do you live? It's so hard to shut out the bad people, without also shutting out the good people. Honestly, it may take making a drastic change to get away from the issues. I moved across the country to get away from toxic people. It may take starting over somewhere, and meeting new people.

[petrified]

Hi there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look. You do get some horrible people out there. Why don't you look for an activity, hobby or new career It will give you a chance to meet like minded people that will boost your confidence and then you won't care so much what people are saying. Anxiety is good at playing tricks on us also :-/

[Justin J]

Why do people have a problem with the way you look? You look totally normal to me. Where do you live? It's so hard to shut out the bad people, without also shutting out the good people. Honestly, it may take making a drastic change to get away from the issues. I moved across the country to get away from toxic people. It may take starting over somewhere, and meeting new people.

I live in a deprived mining town in the UK. The people here cause a lot of trouble and disruption in the local area. I walk past people and they shout names like 'weirdo'. I have anxiety because I know I look strange and when people say something like 'weirdo' then it confirms what I was already thinking. I try to convince myself I'm fine - like most people do but words from random people cause a lot of upset and damage.

[Justin J]

Hi there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look. You do get some horrible people out there. Why don't you look for an activity, hobby or new career It will give you a chance to meet like minded people that will boost your confidence and then you won't care so much what people are saying. Anxiety is good at playing tricks on us also :-/

I like travelling and I'm going around Europe by myself with just a backpack and essentials. I've saved up some money for this journey and I hope I can see life from another perspective.

[petrified]

You sound local to me I'm north east England in a similar place. I never had many friends growing up and I really only have now because I have to because of my son. Taking him to his activities and school I have found like minded people usually older than me that I have to talk to lol. I was always bullied at school it's hard to get over it, I'm 27 and struggling with it. My anxiety has shifted to health anxiety now. It's not any easier though :-)

[petrified]

Good on you backpacking around Europe you are very brave I would never have the courage to do that you must be a stronger person than you feel :-)

[HealthAnxNut]

I live in a deprived mining town in the UK. The people here cause a lot of trouble and disruption in the local area. I walk past people and they shout names like 'weirdo'. I have anxiety because I know I look strange and when people say something like 'weirdo' then it confirms what I was already thinking. I try to convince myself I'm fine - like most people do but words from random people cause a lot of upset and damage.

Seriously? You are NOT weird looking. I am being honest. There is NOTHING wrong with the way you look. People just look for things to say that push the buttons of other people, and they keep pushing them when it works. Don't let them see that it works!

[HealthAnxNut]

Ps) I promise, when you get outside of that area, you will see. No one will say anything. It's just them!

[Cobra]

Hi, Justin. You really should do some research on body dysmorphic disorder. I have provided a link below. I know you probably will not believe it-- or may have trouble believing it-- but I think you may suffer from it, and it may help to know what it is and to remember that you may have something like it. It's always much worse when you don't know what's wrong with you.

The honest truth is... there's nothing wrong with your looks. You do have some distinctive features, but they are by no means ugly or weird. You're actually a striking young fellow. Nothing to make people yell out at you or flinch away in horror, certainly! ;)

Another thing you should remember is these two words: Fuck You.

If someone is teasing you or giving you a hard time, repeat them in your head, as angrily as you feel like thinking them. Fuck You. This is your life, and you deserve to be happy, to feel good about yourself, and to have fun. Who cares what some other assholes think? They are only trying to bring you down because they are miserable in their own lives. We only get a certain amount of time here in this world, and why should you let other people take a shit on it? Be yourself, have fun, figure out what makes you happy and do those things. There are people in this world who are only happy when they are making other people unhappy, and you need to learn how to completely shut them out of your world. Why give them the satisfaction?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

[KP33]

I was bullied in high school and felt like an outcast in the village I grew up in. I'm originally from Lancashire. I had insults thrown at me and had no friends for some years which made me feel like a freak. Thing is I wasn't ugly and I was just very quiet and shy and at that age some people love to be horrible and get a reaction. With age I think we gain an appreciation of ourselves and we care less. So get yourself out there if you can more and more as you gain confidence. X

[Justin J]

You sound local to me I'm north east England in a similar place. I never had many friends growing up and I really only have now because I have to because of my son. Taking him to his activities and school I have found like minded people usually older than me that I have to talk to lol. I was always bullied at school it's hard to get over it, I'm 27 and struggling with it. My anxiety has shifted to health anxiety now. It's not any easier though :-)

I live in Derbyshire but I'm moving to Sheffield University next week. I had friends in high school and I wasn't bullied - I was actually liked by a lot of people. Thing is, these people grew up and moved on with their lives but I was stuck with depression and anxiety. It started with low confidence because of my appearance. I used to walk past shop windows and stare at my reflection ( I still do now) to see if I looked weird or acceptable.

I have a stammer which is the cause of my anxiety. If you don't know what a stammer is then do a google search. A lot of people have a stammer but some handle it better than others. From my perspective, if you are in a relationship with a child then your anxiety can't be as crippling as mine - although you might disagree :)

[Justin J]

Ps) I promise, when you get outside of that area, you will see. No one will say anything. It's just them!

I live in Derbyshire but I'm moving to Sheffield University next week. I had friends in high school and I wasn't bullied - I was actually liked by a lot of people. Thing is, these people grew up and moved on with their lives but I was stuck with depression and anxiety. It started with low confidence because of my appearance. I used to walk past shop windows and stare at my reflection ( I still do now) to see if I looked weird or acceptable.

I have a stammer which is the cause of my anxiety. If you don't know what a stammer is then do a google search. A lot of people have a stammer but some handle it better than others. My stammer inhibits my ability to have a basic conversation which is why I don't have any friends at the moment. :)

[petrified]

I live in Derbyshire but I'm moving to Sheffield University next week. I had friends in high school and I wasn't bullied - I was actually liked by a lot of people. Thing is, these people grew up and moved on with their lives but I was stuck with depression and anxiety. It started with low confidence because of my appearance. I used to walk past shop windows and stare at my reflection ( I still do now) to see if I looked weird or acceptable.

I have a stammer which is the cause of my anxiety. If you don't know what a stammer is then do a google search. A lot of people have a stammer but some handle it better than others. From my perspective, if you are in a relationship with a child then your anxiety can't be as crippling as mine - although you might disagree :)

Yeah I have to disagree lol I'm really struggling at the minute and I have the extra worry of trying to appear normal in front of my son at all times when my brain is screaming at me I'm dying. My husband doesn't no how to act around me and gets really frustrated with me. I don't want him to sleep because he won't be able to help me if I'm dying I don't want him to work. Through all this I have to appear normal and find sitters for when my imaginary symptoms land me in a and e. I had a panic attack at my sons football match on Sunday and the parents phoned me an ambulance as no one new what was wrong and I was embarrassed to say I would be alright in ten minutes. It is hard I grew up thinking I was ugly and a freak my mam died when I was three she was 31 which really freaks me out as I'm getting to that age. Everyone's anxiety is severe to them it's a horrible thing to go through. I've had to beg my doctors for meds which are helping a little. Good luck at uni, you never no it might be the change you need :-)

[HealthAnxNut]

Oh boy... yeah, for my part, having a child doesn't make my symptoms any less severe. It only makes me feel even more guilty about them, because I should be strong, but can't be, like a normal mom. It's just another layer. And I'm NOT saying don't have kids, because the good parts are AMAZING! :)

[Justin J]

Oh boy... yeah, for my part, having a child doesn't make my symptoms any less severe. It only makes me feel even more guilty about them, because I should be strong, but can't be, like a normal mom. It's just another layer. And I'm NOT saying don't have kids, because the good parts are AMAZING! :)

I can understand your guilt because you want your kid to grow up 'normal' and healthy. My grandma has hyperchondria so I can relate somewhat to your problem. She made regular trips to A&E sometimes daily. She was given medication and sometimes it really helped her out. I was only going at the time so my memory of it is quite vague. Ironically she died of natural causes in her sleep.

I always wanted kids but I don't think my anxiety and lack of confidence will allow that. I'm going on a speech therapy course later this month so I'll see how that goes. Not looking for a fix because one doesn't exist- hopefully it will provide some relief! :)

[Justin J]

Yeah I have to disagree lol I'm really struggling at the minute and I have the extra worry of trying to appear normal in front of my son at all times when my brain is screaming at me I'm dying. My husband doesn't no how to act around me and gets really frustrated with me. I don't want him to sleep because he won't be able to help me if I'm dying I don't want him to work. Through all this I have to appear normal and find sitters for when my imaginary symptoms land me in a and e. I had a panic attack at my sons football match on Sunday and the parents phoned me an ambulance as no one new what was wrong and I was embarrassed to say I would be alright in ten minutes. It is hard I grew up thinking I was ugly and a freak my mam died when I was three she was 31 which really freaks me out as I'm getting to that age. Everyone's anxiety is severe to them it's a horrible thing to go through. I've had to beg my doctors for meds which are helping a little. Good luck at uni, you never no it might be the change you need :-)

Yeah it sounds like you're going through a rough time :(
Hope it gets better for you soon. It doesn't sound like your husband is very supportive towards your condition. I have been called an attention seeker and had all kinds of comments said to me. Some people said including my mum that I love having anxiety to get attention. I honestly don't but I've had it for so long that it becomes a part of your personality without you noticing it :( My dad is an alcoholic and he practically raised me but I haven't touched any alcohol , not ever. Maybe your kids will learn from you and not have your problems. I hope Uni goes well not just for me but for my family as well. I have caused lots of grief for them. I feel guilty because if anything bad happened to them then I would probably be sectioned because how could I live with that? My
M said that I shouldn't carry all of this burden around with me but I feel worse if I dont

[petrified]

Yeah it sounds like you're going through a rough time :(
Hope it gets better for you soon. It doesn't sound like your husband is very supportive towards your condition. I have been called an attention seeker and had all kinds of comments said to me. Some people said including my mum that I love having anxiety to get attention. I honestly don't but I've had it for so long that it becomes a part of your personality without you noticing it :( My dad is an alcoholic and he practically raised me but I haven't touched any alcohol , not ever. Maybe your kids will learn from you and not have your problems. I hope Uni goes well not just for me but for my family as well. I have caused lots of grief for them. I feel guilty because if anything bad happened to them then I would probably be sectioned because how could I live with that? My
M said that I shouldn't carry all of this burden around with me but I feel worse if I dont

My husband is supportive I just think he gets fed up of trying to convince me I'm not dying and I'm not letting him a life at the min bless him. Guilt is a major issue with anxiety as we don't want to put pressure on our families but any help it at the same time. You don't sound like an attention seeker to me. You just sound like someone that needs some support right now. Have you tried any therapy or counselling? I'm waiting on an appointment for cbt, I'm hopeful it will work for me. My dad is also and alcoholic he did raise me and the death of my mam turned him to drink. My husband is also a recovering alcoholic he nearly died last year which also makes me feel guilty as he's still not 100% and I'm putting extra pressure on him. Drink is evil in my eyes. I really hope uni works for you and your family will be fine. I'm just about always in here these days if you ever need a chat :-)

[Ritch]

There is nothing wrong with you justin......... sure you was overweight but.... so what....... you have a stammer...... so what?

it is the people around you who have something wrong with them, they are so narrow minded and have prejudice against a person who I'm sure they know nothing about. People are ignorant and afraid of what they don't understand. These people are living in the past, anybody who make's assumptions about someone purely because of their appearance or because they have a stammer really need to clean their own closets before they start cleaning other peoples. There are too many opinions in the world to give a fuck about the ones that don't matter (sorry for the language ladies).

As for the anger, use it as a fuel/motivation and make a productive use of it. The worst thing you could do is give them a reaction. For the record there is nothing unusual about your appearance and don't let anyone else convince you otherwise.