Anxiety leading to depression

[u4ea]

It seems once anxiety, panic and the physical symptoms become a part of your life; anxieties ugly sister shows up too – depression.

When I think about it, it makes very good sense that anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Anxiety disorders cheat you of normalcy, productivity and that shimmering hope that tomorrow will be better. Instead, your days are spent focusing on your physical symptoms, obsessing over heart rate or blood pressure; seclusion, fear, Rx medication and their side effects; self medicating with alcohol and its side effects – the list goes on and on.

It isn’t surprising that depression creeps in – even if you’re a genuinely positive person.

I view anxiety and depression the same way I view long term untreated high blood pressure increasing the risk of heart attack or stroke – a “cause and effect” situation. When you’re constantly in the pit of anxiety, it’s easy for depression to creep in – sometimes even without notice; when anxiety/depression/psyche get just a little worse every day, you’ll wake up one day and forget what it was even like to be happy – or to have a “normal” day.

This is all very frustrating to me. I remember when I could drive where ever I wanted too, without any sense of fear or impending doom; or fly out of the country to meet friends at a resort; or to go SCUBA diving, or simply just living the normal, happy, day to day life I once had.

What frustrates, saddens and angers me the most about anxiety and depression isn’t the physical symptoms, or fear of imminent danger or death; in fact, I’ve come along way accepting death and the fact that my time on this plane is finite; death is as natural as birth and something that every living organism must face – from microscopic to mammoth.

What frustrates me is that my short time spent living on this earth and all the beautiful experiences that come with being alive are poisoned when you’re suffering from anxiety and depression.

It almost feels like I “lost” my true self somewhere, somehow…..

[Blessed]

So true. My husband and I had this EXACT conversation yesterday. I'm happy with my life that God has blessed me with but with all the worry doubt and fear anxiety has cursed me with, I too feel I am slipping into a depressed state that is getting deeper. I WANT OUT AND I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!! I'm tired of watching my life go by as I sit on the sidelines and watch. My smile is gone, my personally has changed. There's never a moment of peace. God please help me!!!!

[u4ea]

So true. My husband and I had this EXACT conversation yesterday. I'm happy with my life that God has blessed me with but with all the worry doubt and fear anxiety has cursed me with, I too feel I am slipping into a depressed state that is getting deeper. I WANT OUT AND I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!! I'm tired of watching my life go by as I sit on the sidelines and watch. My smile is gone, my personally has changed. There's never a moment of peace. God please help me!!!!

You bring up some very good points! Exactly what I'm talking about - anxiety.....it just changes you.

Hope you get better : )

[jessed03]

What frustrates me is that my short time spent living on this earth and all the beautiful experiences that come with being alive are poisoned when you’re suffering from anxiety and depression.

It almost feels like I “lost” my true self somewhere, somehow…..

This is deep. My anxiety came on real bad at 20, I'm 24 now. It wasn't just tension it was a full on nervous breakdown that took me to the edge of what felt like annihilation. No matter what happens in my life, I never really knew 'myself' as an adult. For better or for worse the experience changed me massively. It almost transformed me as a person. Some changes I like, like my increased resilience and compassion, others still feel alien.

Whenever I look back on my life, I feel like I lived the lives of two people. I see reminders of my 'old self', but they never really feel like 'me'. It does feel quite strange. I feel like one day, many years ago, I begun living as someone else, and just carried on with life.

[u4ea]

This is deep. My anxiety came on real bad at 20, I'm 24 now. It wasn't just tension it was a full on nervous breakdown that took me to the edge of what felt like annihilation. No matter what happens in my life, I never really knew 'myself' as an adult. For better or for worse the experience changed me massively. It almost transformed me as a person. Some changes I like, like my increased resilience and compassion, others still feel alien.

Whenever I look back on my life, I feel like I lived the lives of two people. I see reminders of my 'old self', but they never really feel like 'me'. It does feel quite strange. I feel like one day, many years ago, I begun living as someone else, and just carried on with life.

Excellent post - I'm 32 now, and luckily for much of my 20's, my anxiety wasn't very bad; and after reading, researching, etc. When I compare my experiences with others, I definitely feel like my anxiety is only moderate - some people have really severe anxiety and my thoughts and prayers are with them; my anxiety seems less severe, yet it can still be very debilitating for me; I can't even imagine how tough life is for them.

The past 6 months have been the worst for me as far as the severity of my anxiety and the physical symptoms. Though the wave has been building – the past 24 months have been a “perfect storm” of stressful events; thinking back, it’s not very surprising – all roads led to this point.

Though I definitely feel a change in personality – I was very outgoing, talkative and down for whatever. Now, I find myself much more reserved, cautious and nervous – even in situations that I once thrived in. What I find the most unusual – growing up, even though I had periods of nervousness and caution; I was more often an extreme risk taker – taking much more risks than friends and peers; which is kind of ironic when I think back and think of myself now.

I guess that’s why I often think, for me, it might be more; I feel like my brain, psyche and neurological wiring may be “off” – that this isn’t just a phase, rather just me – where the fond memories of my distant past are just that – fond memories?

Life has a circadian rhythm – maybe at one point I’ll find myself back in that mindset. Until then, I don’t know. I just have to deal in live with my several “selves”

[tailspin]

Definitely I think that an untreated anxiety disorder can easily lead to depression. But it seems that, if you can see clearly what led you to this point - and if you've only been at this point for a relatively short time - then the chances are excellent that you will return to the way you were before if you're able to take some steps to heal. While there are certainly some traumatic life events that may leave a person scarred forever, it seems that most people possess a resiliency that allows them to recover, in time, from a lot of emotional turmoil and mental instability.

Or, harking back to a previous discussion, are you saying that what has happened to bring you to this point switched on some gene and now the anxiety and subsequent depression are inescapable because they are in your DNA? But perhaps it is the depression making you feel that?

I still think that time is totally on your side. A danger, as I see it, is if a certain self-destructive behavior or self-defeating pattern becomes engrained over many years. Then it seems the chances of bouncing back are slimmer. Though not impossible. You guys are obviously both super self-aware and clued up on mental health issues, and you're both young, so I think you're in the best possible position.

[NeverToo...Fear]

Depression seems to be creeping up on me as my anxiety persists...I'm having a difficult time looking at life the way I used to...someone close to me died recently and it has put death up front in my face and forced me to think about my finite time and now I'm worried that other people around me that I care about will go away too....this depressive filter I have on my life now is really starting to drain me and I'm worn out from it all..people have noticed I've changed because I used to be a very happy and bright person.....I'm doing my best to try and be positive and become that girl again, but it's just really really hard to do that now....still, I have to fight. It's easier said than done, but I will not let anxiety or depression rule my life! They can't win..

[faultandfracture]

What medication(s) are you currently on?

[u4ea]

What medication(s) are you currently on?

Me? - none.

Earlier this year, February - I went to the doctors after a stretch of severe anxiety (worsened by a trip to Vegas for my girlfriends 30th - binge drinking, etc.); I had extensive blood work and an EKG done; I was prescribed Toprol XL and Ativan.

I tried to tell the doctor that I'm not usually tachy, and didn't need a beta blocker. In the height of my panic AND in the doctors office (I dread hospitals), my heart rate was still only 108 - which I find not that alarming, considering I've been anxious for weeks, lacked sleep and was binge drinking.

I'm on nothing now

[faultandfracture]

*********************NOT A DOCTOR*****************************

Have you ever taken anxiety/antidepressant medication? Ie. Lexapro, Paxil, etc. I did and even tapering off those drugs has revealed what I'm now up against. Those meds can be a crutch that your brain relies upon and jerking them away can compound your problems severely.

Of course your heart rate was 108bpm, you were having a panic attack! The doctor still deemed a beta blocker necessary?

He probably saw what he saw and didn't want to take the chance of NOT giving you those meds.

Tachycardia can be provoked by virtually any situation. For me, going from my 62bpm average to 108bpm in a normal state (not exercising, etc.) means I'm having a panic attack or at least severe anxiety. But that's common.

But we're not talking about your anxiety or panic, right? It's the real struggle of depression.

Do you eat right and exercise? <------------

Be honest about this, too.

You and I are similar and I think I might have some input. ;)

[tailspin]

...someone close to me died recently and it has put death up front in my face and forced me to think about my finite time and now I'm worried that other people around me that I care about will go away too....

Death of a loved one was a massive trigger for me too and I can really relate to what you write here about now constantly thinking about mortality and worrying about losing other loved ones

[u4ea]

*********************NOT A DOCTOR*****************************

Have you ever taken anxiety/antidepressant medication? Ie. Lexapro, Paxil, etc. I did and even tapering off those drugs has revealed what I'm now up against. Those meds can be a crutch that your brain relies upon and jerking them away can compound your problems severely.

Of course your heart rate was 108bpm, you were having a panic attack! The doctor still deemed a beta blocker necessary?

He probably saw what he saw and didn't want to take the chance of NOT giving you those meds.

Tachycardia can be provoked by virtually any situation. For me, going from my 62bpm average to 108bpm in a normal state (not exercising, etc.) means I'm having a panic attack or at least severe anxiety. But that's common.

But we're not talking about your anxiety or panic, right? It's the real struggle of depression.

Do you eat right and exercise? <------------

Be honest about this, too.

You and I are similar and I think I might have some input. ;)

No - I was prescribed a generic Zoloft(?), but never took a single one. in fact, I avoid even over the counter pain, cold, allergy, you name it meds. I'm the type who often believes that in many situations - the treatment is worse than the ailment.

Not really sure why he insisted on beta blockers; if tachycardia is classified as a HR > 100, 108 is only 8 bpm's into that range. I ended up stopping cold turkey, when I checked my HR when I had no anxious feelings, my heart rate was in the 40's and that was only at 15mg's (I cut the 30mg tablet in half).


But we're not talking about your anxiety or panic, right? It's the real struggle of depression.

Nooooooo.....I don't have any history of depression, but I feel like being in a prolonged anxious state is making me depressed. This feeling of detachment from what I used to love doing and simply just feeling "normal" - no physical manifestations, etc.

It's the anxiety that's depressing!

I'm in relatively decent shape, always lived an active life; though anxiety does hinder that a bit these days - sometimes I don't feel well and become afraid to over exert myself. I eat fairly well (I have my unhealthy meals on occasion), drink water 95% of the time and never touch soda or sugary drinks. I don't smoke.

My biggest vice is that I self medicate with alcohol. That is my crutch.