Question about Anxiety..

[Howdy]

So last year I was diganosed with anxiety cause I always felt dizzy and would have panic attacks. My doctor prescribed Zoloft but I never took it because after I went and saw the Doc and found out nothing was wrong physically I felt fine all the anxiety/panic attacks went away..


Around the same time this year I would have anxiety but wouldn't really freak out cause I knew what was going on. Until one night I was sitting on the couch watching a show about some guy who broke out of prison and ended up killing his family & himself. For some reason I kept thinking "what if I go crazy like that" and I know it sounds really stupid but I kept thinking about it and I'd freak out. Of course I'm not a harmful person at all and I'd never really hurt anyone but I thought I should probably talk to others with anxiety or OCD and I've found this is a fairly common thing. Anyway I was thinking maybe it'd be better if I finally started taking the Zoloft. So I talked to a gal on another fourm who took some sort of SSRI and she said it made her suicidal. Of course I freaked out and now i'm like whoa what if I become suicidal? I'm obviously not I don't really feel depressed and I certainly do enjoy life. Does anyway have any tips on how to help make yourself not think like that? And does anyone know what I might have? This wouldn't mean I'm bi-polar is it? I don't really feel extrmeley happy and then extremley angry or anything.





Sorry bout the long rant

[RabidBadger]

Hi

I have experienced the same kind of thoughts and I have heard from several other anxiety sufferers who have too. I'm not a doctor or anything but I don't think it has anything to do with bipolar disorder.

The fact that these thoughts horrify you proves that you would never act on them and the way I deal with them is to try and pay them no significance. Just think "yeah yeah, stop being silly" and try to distract yourself.

Chris

[Velrose]

I suffer from similar thoughts myself and like you, I do not suffer from depression, and I even posted a thread about it. (Titled, what if thoughts) Anyhow, I myself was prescribed Lexapro, but I was pulled off of it by the doctor because the lexapro only seemed to exacerbate my thoughts.

I'm still working through my issues, but I have to say the same thing to you that the doctor told me. These thoughts of yours are fears, NOT impulses. You're afraid of the what ifs...as crazy as they might be; and the more you are afraid, the more it works up your panic and anxiety, and the more you are going to think of these things, which turns it into a very vicious cycle.

I have sometime I say and tell myself constantly...

Worrying is wasting my life.

Simple, but for me it works, because it is true. If I spend my time worrying, I'm not enjoying the little moments in life. As I said, I am still working through my issues, and I will be going to see a therapist for the first time a week from this Tuesday. I'm hoping to learn some skills for coping, and for pushing the freaky thoughts out of my own head.

Just know you're not alone, and though it is rough, they aren't impulses.... just fears.

Usually, if I get worked up, and my freaky thoughts pop into my mind, I--A) get out of the house. I don't know if most people are like this, but I tend to get stir crazy sitting at home all day long. Getting out helps. It provides a distraction, the fresh air and sunlight are wonderful! B) play video games. I know this one sound silly, but it provides a wonderful distraction, expecially RPGs such as the Final Fantasy series or Zelda--though anything you enjoy doing would help. My wii is wonderful too, as it is far more interactive and takes more energy and focus to play.

These are mostly distractions, but for me they make things tolerable. I have also heard exercise can help with anxiety, as the harder you work out, the more your mind is off of things, and it boots chemicals and things in your brain.

Myself--I know what you meant by watching something and having a thought triggered. I was a huge fan of House MD, but I am afraid to watch it now because I am worried it will trigger a thought.

Sorry for the wrong reply, and I wish I could be of more help. T_T

[Velrose]

eeeeh... so many typos. Forgive me for those. m(_ _)m

[smbkrn]

I have been on Zoloft for over 6 years now. I originally had my first "panic attack" on a plane and it scared me to death. Had no idea what was happening. Fought it for several years without meds but then it came back harder. My primary physician at the time prescribed the 50mg of Zoloft right away after I described some of the symptoms I had been experiencing. Dizzy, lightheaded, irritable with mood swings. Heart racing, panicky feelings, etc. I had them at sporting events anytime I would get overly excited. Started to really suck as I couldnt enjoy the games that I would attend. I started feeling like I may have a heart attack in front of everyone. To make this story short, I was fine after getting on the Zoloft. I didnt even take it everyday and it was only the 50 mg dosage. Took it for 5 years event free. Everything changed last year in Sept when the mail order prescription company sent me the generic and I didnt think anything of it. I thought, cool, save some money. Wow did it screw me up. I started getting really dizzy again and started having some headaches. I had several panicky episodes so I went back to my doctor and he got me back on the real Zoloft at 50 mg on Dec. 15th 06. I almost had a complete breakdown last Xmas eve. Stress induced I am sure and it scared the hell out of me. I thought I was going crazy. I gave it some time but never got back to myself. I started seeing my therapist again in April that I had seen some when I started the Zoloft years ago and she told me that my case was a classis case or what can occur with some people when put on a generic. She told me to right away go to 100 mg. That was in April. I started to do better fairly quickly. I got some kind of a viral infection in July and Aug. and went through several rounds of antibiotics that screwed with the effectiveness of the Zoloft. I was told that was normal. Long story short, I am still not 100% but better that I was last year at this time. I am seeing my therapist once a week. We have a baby and I am still not getting good sleep so I think that is part of it. I would highly recommend starting on Zoloft if a professional recommends it and dont worry yourself with the "what if's". You can worry yourself to death. I know occasionally the thoughts come into my head. Mainly I worry about something possibly really being wrong with me like cardiovasculary and the doctors are missing it and something happens and my kids have to be raised without a dad. That thought kills me. I am starting a meditation class tomorrow night to see if that helps any. As gay as I think it is, I will try anything.

Best of luck with dealing with this anxiety disease!

[Howdy]

Yea I'm going to see a therapist soon and I'll probably start on the Zoloft that I was prescribed. I don't think its nearly as bad as I thought.. I'm a big football game and whenever I watch my favorite team play those weird/fear thoughts all go away. Or when I'm at work I rarely seem to think about it.
I've noticed it seems to get worse as it gets dark outside for some reason almost like a season/night time anxiety? Anyway I know all this isn't completly curable but will therapy & medication be able to atleast keep the constitant thinking to a minium? It's good to know this isn't something extreme makes it easier on the mind.

[Velrose]

Ah... I really hope this is something that can be controlled with therapy. *crosses her fingers* A lot of people suffer from seasonal anxiety and depression... I tend to get pretty down during winter and autumn, despite the fact that I LOVE the Christmas season. This time... mine is just terrible because the panic has been added.

It does help to know one is not alone in such thoughts. I know when I posted my thread, and found I wasn't the only one with such weird and freaky thoughts, it really eased my mind and made me feel so much better.

I'm on a med called ativan right now, and it seems to help calm me down, but I only take it if I am REALLY wigging out.

Maybe you could look into something like that? Personally, I would like to kick my issue WITHOUT meds..Good luck with everything, and if you ever need to compare notes, I know I am here!

[swaneejuggalo]

i have anxiety and offten have thoughts that i cant contrrol thoughts i wouldnt act on but still dont like and just pop in my head and make me think im someone im not even after i think it i go what the fuck and forget it but feel bad any thoughts?

[Mark]

i have anxiety and offten have thoughts that i cant contrrol thoughts i wouldnt act on but still dont like and just pop in my head and make me think im someone im not even after i think it i go what the fuck and forget it but feel bad any thoughts?

The bad thoughts are what makes anxiety what it is. While everyone has bad thoughts, the problem that people with anxiety have is that they (should probably say "we") cannot shut off the bad thoughts. While others are able to shake things off, we suffer with them for a long while.
The fact that you don't like what you are thinking shows that it is unlikely you will act on them. Which is a good thing.
I wish I could pass a method that was guaranteed to stop bad thoughts from occuring. If anyone had such a method, they could probably make millions from the people on this site alone.
As I said in a previous post, I am starting to accept the fact that I have bad thoughts and have stopped trying to suppress them. I am finding that accepting them (even joking about them) is making it easier to deal with them, where suppressing them only made the bad thoughts stronger.
Try this, it might work for you.

[swaneejuggalo]

thank you it would be a good tactic to roll with the punches and not dwell on things but i still feel troubled, wich is dwelling on the whole subject, by some thoughts because im a incredibly nice guy im not racist violent sexcist but still have thoughts that i dont think that pop in my head i live my life as good as ai can but still feel like a bad person when i think these things they pop in my head and i immediatly get down on myself about them

[Mark]

thank you it would be a good tactic to roll with the punches and not dwell on things but i still feel troubled, wich is dwelling on the whole subject, by some thoughts because im a incredibly nice guy im not racist violent sexcist but still have thoughts that i dont think that pop in my head i live my life as good as ai can but still feel like a bad person when i think these things they pop in my head and i immediatly get down on myself about them

Don't think any less of yourself for having bad thoughts. Thinking bad things doesn't make you a bad guy, acting on them does. We have all wanted to ram the person driving in front of us for driving to damn slow, but we never do.
By asking for help as you did, you are showing you realize that there is something wrong and that is the start of the healing process.
Use every resource you have available to help you get to where you want to be. There is absolutly no need to go through this alone. There are friends, family, doctors, books, websites (like this one), and so on and so forth that can help provide support and answers to what is bothering you.
Remember that you may not got all the answers right away and that healing may take a while. Don't give up, everything will come together.
Good luck to you. All the best.