New therapist - not sure how I feel about her...

[SleeplessInPA]

I was with my former therapist for almost 6 years and I miss her terribly! 9 times out of 10 I felt better when I left her office, even if it was just for that evening. I started seeing a new therapist but I am not sure how I feel about her. She's nice, but I am starting to wonder how experienced she is with anxiety. When I started talking about it last night, she just offered me the obvious advice "tell yourself this is just anxiety and it will pass". DUH! I am paying you to tell me what I already know??? I dk, maybe I am being harsh. The thing I liked about my old therapist is she shared her own personal experiences with her patients, so it made it so easy to connect with her.

[str8trippin]

I don't think you are being harsh. The first therapist I saw was a big snooze fest and wasn't doing a darn thing for me. He told me the same kinds of things and then handed me print outs about anxiety that he had Googled. O_O Pretty sure if those are the criteria to be a therapist I should be opening my own practice because I've given and gotten way more solid and helpful suggestions on this forum than I ever got from him. He was the kind of counselor whose answer was "Take the meds, read this handout, call the hotline if you're feeling suicidal, and remind yourself that it's just anxiety and it will go away" and just wasn't for me. I happen to think the issue is a little more complex than that. That being said, I started seeing a new person last week who is AMAZING...a lot like you describe the person you used to see...someone you really connect with and who is willing to get personal and share other experiences and really build a rapport with you and help you understand not just that you are having anxiety but why you are having it...what is at the root. So, I kind of had the same experience you are having in reverse, and ultimately I would say that if you aren't that into this person, find someone new. It's not worth wasting money when you don't feel like it is really beneficial to you.

[SleeplessInPA]

Thank you for responding! I literally laughed out loud when you said "The first therapist I saw was a big snooze fest" :) YES, YES, YES! If I get one more print out, I am going to scream. Come on, I can get those on the internet! When you said ""Take the meds, read this handout, call the hotline if you're feeling suicidal, and remind yourself that it's just anxiety and it will go away"" That is literally the same thing I heard...in addition to, make sure you go to see our Psychiatrist about your meds. While I understand there are times meds are necessary, I am not a fan of pushing meds as a solution. OH, I was also given a free relaxation app on my Iphone!! Ummm..thanks! This is the 3rd or 4th time I have seen her, I might see her one more time and tell her how I feel (I am not sure she will be real receptive). I am also going to call my old therapist and find out if/when she is coming back, she was taking a break d/t her father becoming ill. I am so glad you found someone else! Isn't it a great feeling when you find someone you connect with in therapy?!?!

[str8trippin]

Well, really, as if I haven't already read about anxiety on WebMD. I mean, at least if you are going to give me a hand out, give me something really insightful that I've never seen before...don't just type "anxiety" on Google while I'm sitting at your desk and print out the first thing that pops up! It's incredibly frustrating. And I also understand that medications are really helpful to some people, but I choose not to take medications at this time and I think that a therapist should respect that choice and be there to support you in finding other ways to cope.

At any rate, it can't hurt to tell the person you are seeing that it isn't working and see what kind of feedback you get. The worst that could happen is that she doesn't respond well and you end up not seeing her anymore, which seems like it's kind of on the table anyway. Maybe start looking into other options in the meantime? I got incredibly lucky with the person I am seeing; she is also really into a lot of natural and spiritual healing work, so she definitely provides insight that some other more traditional counselors maybe don't. One of the best ideas she had (I'm probably not very good at explaining it, but I'm going to try!) was to try and look at who I am when I have anxiety as a separate character; she said as silly as it sounds, give it a name, and start to look at what traits that person has...how does she act? how does she feel? etc. etc. Basically, by looking at it as a character, you can really try to tap into the root of whatever you are experiencing. She was really trying to get me to think about what is at the root of my anxiety...where it comes from. She said that most people's fear and anxiety comes from things in our past that have caused emotional stress or trauma, and that often that part of us kind of gets stuck...it doesn't develop any further emotionally. In other words, you might have, for example this part of you that is a small child scared or one thing or another, and if you can treat it the way you would in that respect, you can almost teach it what it needs to be able to know to get unstuck. Suffice to say, anxiety isn't really just coming from nowhere for no reason; there's something underlying, so trying to peel back those layers and find those underlying causes can help you to overcome it.

[SleeplessInPA]

It sounds like you have found a great therapist! I wish I lived in the NM area. I am going to do some research and see if I can find someone who is more into natural/spiritual healing. My old therapist was in a private practice and the new one is part of a large organization. It seems like those handouts circulate through all of this organizations. I sometimes wonder if when they hire new therapist, they give them all copies of the same handouts! What you said makes complete sense and I really like the idea about looking at a separate character. It really makes a lot of sense! I can think about a few things in my childhood that could be a root cause of my anxiety. Thank you for your feedback and advice! This is a great help!! :)