New Here

[oliviam]

Hi all! This is the first time I have ever done this, so I don't really know how to begin or how much is too much information, so here I go. Whew, I have always suffered from anxiety especially when I was a young child. It comes and goes in waves throughout my life and its getting really bad again. For the past few months I have been sick with stomach issues, so much so that I lost 10 lbs. Doesn't seem like a big deal until I tell you that I was already a small person, now I'm under 100 lbs. I look sick and tired and skinny in not a good way. I have a two year old daughter, and amazingly when I was pregnant and she when she was a newborn, I used to say "I can't believe I haven't had an anxiety attack in ages! I must be so busy with her that I don't have time to have a panic attack" Wrong! Now they don't stop. My biggest fears include becoming sick and spreading it to everyone, then being too sick to be a good parent, although I don't feel like much of a good parent anyhow. I don't know what happened, I don't feel fulfilled or happy. I have become very introverted as a result of having a baby and busting my ass in school. I find it hard to make conversation with individuals, especially new ones. I somehow am very into the idea that running away will help me feel better, like if I move to another state then that would solve all of my issues, thoughts of that nature. I thought if I started taking care of myself again, getting hair done, shopping, etc. then that would help me take baby steps, but I just end up feeling selfish. Anywho, I know this a long introduction, but I am hoping to find comfort and hope reading everyone's posts and finding ways to move forward. Thank you for reading and sharing!

[aquascorp]

Hi, Olivia. I'm new here, too :-) I read your post and really related to what you said about not feeling like you can have a conversation with people you meet lately or relating. I feel like that, too. I commend you on going to school and having a kid, that must,be a lot of work-you should feel proud.

[Lin]

It sounds like you are struggling with post natal depression after having your baby. It is caused by a hormone imbalance and you should see your doctor and get some help.
I have had post natal depression after a baby, several miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy and now in the menopause. Sometimes the depression makes you want to stay in and not talk to anyone, and another time it makes you not want to be at home.
I should go and get some anti depressants - if they find one that helps you, they will help by giving you a lift in mood to wait until your body's hormones settle down since having your baby.
You are doing so well struggling on, but please get some help. All of the symptoms you describe I have had - it is like being in a long dark tunnel with no light at the end, but with some good tablets and the right help you will feel better until your body settles down.

[oliviam]

I think you're right. I guess I am in denial only because it didn't set in until my daughter was already two years old. I have spoken to a dr who recommends seeing a psychologist but I have been unlucky trying to get an appointment. I do think the next time I see him I am going to push for some medication, I was trying to avoid it but it's not normal to just be comfortable in my house 24/7.

[Lin]

No, it is very easy to just stay in all the time, but you and your baby need you to be better and enjoy going out. Please do see your doctor and ask about anti depressants, after 2-3 weeks you could feel so much better and then when your hormones settle down you can come off the tablets and be back to your normal self. That has always happened to me during my post natal depression bouts, so hope it will work for you. Good luck and let me know how you get on.