i want my life back!

[starlaced_soul]

hi i am 19 yrs old, I have dealt with anxiety and depression since I was 12, have been on medication since 12 as well. recently I took myself off of all of my medications because I felt 'numb' and I wanted to see if i could be independant without them. i also wanted to join the coast guard and they wont let you if you are on any medications. it was then i discovered i have a lot of emotional and personal issues that i must deal with through counseling which i believe my medications have 'hid' from me in the past 7 yrs. anyways, i am back on my medications now but i have acquired agoraphobia.. i havent left my house in 3 months except to go to my counseling appointments, i lost my job, my boyfriend, my car, and most of my friends... my medications arent working and i just want my life back. i have let anxiety rule over me for too long, i feel like a bird without wings... with every potential to fly but i can't leave the ground. i want my future, i want to go to college, i want my job back. i pray daily for strength and guidance and security, but i still suffer daily. doesn't anybody have any answers?!?

[shoe]

starlaced, im so sorry to hear things are so tough. i know life can seem hopeless at times.. I've been there myself.

but you can overcome this stuff. it is a little tough but with some support from friends it might be a little easier. we have great people here who are willing to lend an ear and try to offer help where we can.

counseling is tough.. i've yet to find a good psychologist myself, but I know they are out there. CBT is one of the most recommended methods for overcoming anxieties so hopefully your psych. knows that. There are other techniques as well tho, and it kinda depends on the person

have you looked into any books? there are a number of helpful ones out there

[brickyard_red]

Hi there starlaced. I know it feels like the world is ending right now and that the future looks really bleak, but hang in there my friend! You are doing good right now with going to see your counselor and going back on your meds. Some people can handle not taking them and they are able to work through their anxieties and phobias, but not everyone can. If you need the med. then don't be ashamed to take them. Don't let it make you feel bad! It is no different than a diabetic taking their med.

You will get your job back, whether it be this one or a new one and you will be able to go to college if that is what you want to do, but right now you are getting to the point where you are able to do these things. Be patient, hang in there and don't quit what you are doing. I'm afraid there are no real fast answers that is just going to "make it better" all of a sudden. This is something that you are going to have to deal with, like shoe said, with you friends and counselor.

We are here for you. Many of us have been there and have walked this road. This is a safe place where you can come and share you burdens with and you won't be made fun of or scorned. I'm very glad you have found this forum, I hope to see you around more and if you ever need someone to listen to you, I'm here for ya. :)

Cath :)

[starlaced_soul]

i began to cry when i was reading your replies. i really appreciate your input. i know that there is a lot in my life to look foreward to and i just need to be patient. thank you so much for lending your thoughts to me, i love this site because i feel like no one around me understands me or what i am going through! but i was reading everyones' bits and it really made me feel better. i knew that there were other people with my same problem i just didn't know where. i am so sick of sitting in this house alone day after day waiting for my next appointment or waiting for my sister to call me and tell me i am not crazy! just going to the mail box is a huge task some days! it's good to know that you understand! i know what you are saying shoe, about counselors... i don't feel like the one i am seeing right now is helping much.. but i am looking around still. my last counselor and i got along great, but after only two months of seeing her.. she just stopped calling me and wouldn't schedule me anymore! i was so upset! and cath you mentioned that i should not be ashamed of taking my medications and i appreciate that. it's just really hard to accept the fact that i can't be independant. i guess i am just stubborn like that. but it looks like i don't have a choice! anyways thank you both your great! i hope that we can all learn from each other and help one another. this really is a great place to feel comfort.. that is really what i needed!