Obsessed with health concerns and dying

[tailspin]

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is already a post about this that I haven't seen, but I was wondering who else deals with obsessive thoughts about their health and about dying. It's gotten really bad with me and it's a vicious cycle because I do genuinely feel unwell a lot of the time. On top of that I feel that my doctor doesn't take me seriously and has me pegged as a hypochondriac. But even hypochondriacs get sick! ;) She has done some blood tests and a couple of heart tests a few years ago, but now whenever I go to see her with a concern, she pretty much tells me to go see my psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted (which I have done). Obviously I accept that, because of my anxiety disorder, I do obsess about health concerns, but, on the other hand, it's hard not to think about disease and dying when you feel ill so much of the time.

I also worry a lot about sudden death, as in, just keeling over and dropping dead from one minute to the next. I know it might sound as though that could actually be a blessing!! But I worry about the people who love me (not that there are many of them, but there are a couple). At any rate, I am really preoccupied with these thoughts. Needless to say I also spend a lot of time online researching health conditions/diseases.

Can anyone else relate and how have you coped with this? Thanks.

[jloca215]

Ever since I was little I've had the same concerns. I would read health encyclopedias and research online about every disease under the sun! Maybe that's what led me to my career path as a registered nurse! I am a hypochondriac RN. You are not alone, you're curious and probably insightful. I am having trouble dealing with it myself lately more than ever as I am approaching my 31st bday, I'm finding myself more worried about cancer and heart disease. But all I can say that helps me to an extent is to tell yourself this, "nothing is wrong with me except anxiety. No ones ever died from anxiety, and even if it were to happen there's nothing I can do to change it so why worry about it?" And usually the feelings dissipate. Good luck

[jloca215]

Ps. Your brain is the most powerful organ in your body! If you obsess over sickness and pain, you will feel sickness and pain! If you obsess over feeling good, you will feel good. Try it sometime! Easier said than done I know. I feel crappy more days than I feel well. My family jokes that my 83 year old father is in better shape than me! Sad but true.

[SmokeyYogi]

Hi Tailspin
I recognise a lot of what you've been describing (sorry for my english this evening, the anxiety took its toll on my eyes and brain today!) -I have suffered from health anxiety since 2011 and I know what its like to not feel like you're being taken seriously and that there IS something wrong with you that you just can't shake. There are some things that can help you, though (I'm not cured, but I'm working very hard on overcoming this and this is what I've found, amongst other things inspired by these fine people on the forum).

-whenever I google symptoms (which I try not to -the terrible conditions always comes first, because that's what people read), I type in the symptom and then "anxiety" afterwards, like "swollen leg anxiety" or "headache anxiety". It helps you to be aware, that the internet is a ****load of stuff, and almost all your symptoms can be anxiety-related.

-go to the library and find books on anxiety. the symptoms they list is often some of the ones you're having and it might help you to realize that a lot of what you're feeling comes from anxiety. Not to say that the symptoms aren't real; they're probably just not caused by what you think they are.

-get a massage and /or some acupuncture. When you worry, it f**** up your hormones and your entire body gets tense, leaving you with a LOT of symptoms, caused by that very worrying. I mean EVERYTHING tenses up; my shoulders, neck (causing severe dizzyness and weird eyesight), legs, stomach, arms and so on gets messed up so I really feel like my body is giving up on me. When I go for some holistic treatment, I relax more, which doesn't take away my symptoms or my anxiety, but it helps a lot in relaxing and minimizing some symptoms.

-Try to examine your symptoms ; how acute are they? You'll find that you can wait and nothing happens. If there's one persisting symptom, you can deal with it and go to your doctor. But give it a month.

-There's NO reason why you should fall dead all of the sudden -it doesn't happen all that often, but I know the feeling and a lot of people in here do, and as far as I know, none of us have fallen dead just like that. Even if you do, death is a part of life and sorrow is a part of life. Mourning over and missing someone if horrible, but its a feeling, and feelings doesn't kill anyone. remember that when you think of your loved ones and the ones that love you.

-for something more practical; anxiety is very stressful on the body, so support your mind and body by taking a multi-vitamin supplement, and add some vitamin d and some magnesium.

-have fun. do fun things. do things that are good for you, like swimming or yoga and enjoy that your body is talking to you. I think a lot of health anxiety and fear of death is dealt with by learning to interpret the language your body is speaking.

Hope this helped a little bit -when it comes to fearing death and health anxiety, the enemy is inside, which is SO hard to deal with. I would know.

best of luck!!

[tailspin]

Thanks for the replies and the helpful feedback jloca and SmokeyYogi. They are much appreciated. It's very cool that you used your health anxiety to motivate you to pursue a career in nursing jloca! It must be very helpful to have a lot of actual medical training and knowledge to help you deal with your own symptoms.

What you write here is really wise, SmokeyYogi. And when you write about the enemy being inside, that really hits the nail on the head. That's the point where I'm stuck. I feel like I am a prisoner in my own body, my own mind. And I feel like I am very often at war with myself. I don't trust my own body and I certainly don't trust my brain. Both my brain and my body play tricks on me and that has caused me to live in a state of (more or less) permanent hypervigilance. And the danger is in myself! I am acutely aware of anything that feels "wrong" in my body. And a lot of things genuinely do very often feel wrong. I mean, I do genuinely feel under the weather a lot of the time.

I've talked a bit with others - for example, my husband - and I've asked him whether he feels unwell some of the time, and he said no. So then it's like, well, ok, I genuinely do feel unwell most of the time, so there MUST be something wrong with me. And so the cycle starts up again....And I'm sure a lot of it is anxiety, but I just can't seem to shake it!

Also, what you say here about anxiety being very stressful on the body is so true. It's like I live in a state of permanent inner stress (mainly of my own making). And that really wears me down. Again though, it's so hard to break this cycle. I've been living like this for years now.

Anyhow, it sure helps to communicate about this with people who understand, so thanks for listening. And again, thanks for the great feedback and tips.

[jloca215]

Tailspin, it's worse because I know too much for my own good!! Lol and of course seeing people die daily is not good for me either. But I hope that one day soon I can learn to appreciate and enjoy my life while I can still live it up.

[sgran002]

Ps. Your brain is the most powerful organ in your body! If you obsess over sickness and pain, you will feel sickness and pain! If you obsess over feeling good, you will feel good. Try it sometime! Easier said than done I know. I feel crappy more days than I feel well. My family jokes that my 83 year old father is in better shape than me! Sad but true.

I love this. I'm going to try to start doing it more.

[jloca215]

I love this. I'm going to try to start doing it more.

Just like we didn't develop these negative thought patterns overnight, positive thinking takes time too. It feels weird at first but it actually helped me through some tough times. 😐

[stephanie3126]

From experience, the best thing you can do to make yourself at ease is just to visit your doctor. Even if it's just for a regular checkup. They'll probably just send you for a blood test and look at you quickly and feel you for anything abnormal. If everything comes back normal, you can only feel better after the fact. Although if your doc is giving you a hard time, find a new one. I'm not sure where you live is hard or easy to get another doctor but there's no harm in trying. My anxiety only got better when I got my blood test results came back and everything came back normal. I have thoughts still sometimes and it's not something that will just go away easily. You have to work hard at it and go through life with a positive attitude instead of a negative one. Like people said above, if you think negatively, your life will be negative.

Also look into eating food that help with anxiety, for example foods with a lot of magnesium. Almonds, spinach, fish, etc. I feel it calms me down a lot more when I'm going through a bad stretch. I've decided to try and beat this on my own without medication so doing this the most natural and healthy way might be the way to go. But it can be different for everyone. Good luck and I hope you feel better.

[str8trippin]

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is already a post about this that I haven't seen, but I was wondering who else deals with obsessive thoughts about their health and about dying. It's gotten really bad with me and it's a vicious cycle because I do genuinely feel unwell a lot of the time. On top of that I feel that my doctor doesn't take me seriously and has me pegged as a hypochondriac. But even hypochondriacs get sick! ;) She has done some blood tests and a couple of heart tests a few years ago, but now whenever I go to see her with a concern, she pretty much tells me to go see my psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted (which I have done). Obviously I accept that, because of my anxiety disorder, I do obsess about health concerns, but, on the other hand, it's hard not to think about disease and dying when you feel ill so much of the time.

I also worry a lot about sudden death, as in, just keeling over and dropping dead from one minute to the next. I know it might sound as though that could actually be a blessing!! But I worry about the people who love me (not that there are many of them, but there are a couple). At any rate, I am really preoccupied with these thoughts. Needless to say I also spend a lot of time online researching health conditions/diseases.

Can anyone else relate and how have you coped with this? Thanks.

Hey Tailspin--

I can definitely relate; I'm going through the exact same thing right now, and people just think I'm crazy and should just be able to STOP thinking about it. It's that easy, right? Just stop. Get over it. After all, you can't control it can you, and we all know life is unexpected and the end result is going to be the same no matter when it happens. I'm more than smart enough to know that, so stating the obvious to me isn't helping. I had a friend a couple of days ago tell me maybe I sensed something horrific was about to happen. Gee. Thanks. People can be really insensitive because they don't understand what it is like to have anxiety like most of us here do. Unless you've experienced it, you really can't understand...doctors included.

I've never considered myself to be afraid of death, and never before in my life have I experienced being afraid of every day normal things because I'm worried that something bad is going to happen and what if this is the day...but all of a sudden it's what I've become. I feel a bit like I'm going through a mid life crisis twenty years early. So you are definitely NOT alone in what you are going through...you don't even have to describe it because I understand exactly what you mean. I don't want to live my life in this constant state of fear, depression, anxiety, worry, panic, tension, stress, confusion. I don't want to get to a point where I'm afraid to go outside because I'm worried that something might happen to me if I do. It gets tiring. I just take it all one day at a time an deal with it as it comes. I'm about to try some therapy/counseling again. The first try was a bust...the guy basically told me I didn't need to be there. I tend to present well, so I understand why, but regardless it's kind of disheartening to feel like they don't think it's worth their time when you feel so desperately like you need someone to talk to. All he did was give me a WebMD print out about anxiety. SOOOOO helpful. O_o At any rate, I'm hoping this next time goes better...my friend arranged for me to see someone that I couldn't afford to go see, so I'm really hoping it will be beneficial.

Keep pushing through...we're all here, we're all okay, and if nothing else, we have each other!

[tailspin]

Thanks so much, Stephanie, Str8trippin and everyone. I really appreciate the replies. And to know that others can relate. I hope the new therapist will be helpful, Str8trippin. I should probably give therapy another try too.....Re the midlife crisis, I'm definitely at the right age for that, at least!! :p Although, that said, I've had these anxieties - and others - on and off my whole life. It's just they've flared up again badly in more recent years.

At any rate, I made another appointment with my doctor for next week to have some more heart tests. She is already my second doctor in recent times (the first one was even more dismissive), but I think I might need to try again to find another one. Perhaps the third time will be the charm!!

Thanks again!

[happydays5389]

Hi there

I am glad I am not the only one out there!!
I suffer severe health anxiety but not just over big things over small things. I constantly fear contracting gastro and other contagious things. I remember every time I have been sick and assume it will happen soon. I can't even look forward to my overseas trip I think what if I to gastro the day before hat would I do? Has also made me develop ocd a fear of germs.
I try to think its not a big dal but it consumes me

[tailspin]

Hi happydays, I worry about gastro stuff too, especially getting food poisoning, or anything that causes me to be sick (I have a bit of a vomit phobia too). It definitely sucks. It does help to know I'm not the only one, but I'm sorry that you - and so many others - struggle with this too.

[indiana]

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is already a post about this that I haven't seen, but I was wondering who else deals with obsessive thoughts about their health and about dying. It's gotten really bad with me and it's a vicious cycle because I do genuinely feel unwell a lot of the time. On top of that I feel that my doctor doesn't take me seriously and has me pegged as a hypochondriac. But even hypochondriacs get sick! ;) She has done some blood tests and a couple of heart tests a few years ago, but now whenever I go to see her with a concern, she pretty much tells me to go see my psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted (which I have done). Obviously I accept that, because of my anxiety disorder, I do obsess about health concerns, but, on the other hand, it's hard not to think about disease and dying when you feel ill so much of the time.

I also worry a lot about sudden death, as in, just keeling over and dropping dead from one minute to the next. I know it might sound as though that could actually be a blessing!! But I worry about the people who love me (not that there are many of them, but there are a couple). At any rate, I am really preoccupied with these thoughts. Needless to say I also spend a lot of time online researching health conditions/diseases.

Can anyone else relate and how have you coped with this? Thanks.

Hello Tailspin

I have not been on this forum for a long time. I am suffering from health anxiety and anxiety in general and have been for years. More than a year ago I was very desperate also having had the same attitude from my doctor as you. One day I came across TMS Forum (TMS = Tension myositis syndrome) and Dr. Sarno writing books about people with back pain where there is nothing structural wrong with them but still they are in pain. The same can be applied to a lot of other strange symptoms which stem from anxiety (f.eks. nervous bowl syndrome, dizziness, all sorts of tension). Since then I have come a long way, being more accepting of my condition and more relaxed. I can only recommend the TMS Forum. There are a lot of cured and knowledgable people writing threats and helping you. In the meantime NEVER google diseases og symptoms. Try to ignore whatever it is you are having after a check up from the doctor (and telling her that you need the check up in order to get peace of mind because you suffer from health anxiety.
All the best

[tailspin]

Thanks so much, Indiana. I'll definitely check out the TMS Forum. I'm really glad to hear you are doing better.