should i check myself into a mental hospital? (bit long)

[peon]

ive had panic attacks for years and took 40 mgs of paxil for it which seemed to get rid of about 80% of the anxiety. i decided i coulnt go on with the sexual side effects anymore so i went off meds. i did suprisingly well for awhile until symptoms came back...

i tried prozac instead of paxil and had a bad panic attack (dont know if it was caused by prozac or not) and have been too terrified to take any meds since (including paxil)

since then ive had days that range from having very little anxiety to being so scared that i will have a heart attack or a panic attack i cant control that i feel i could smash my head into a wall to try and knock myself out...

it seems like every week something new gets added to my list of fears...
i convinced myself cholesterol is going to kill me so i almost eat none of that anymore...i convinced myself cocaine and or heroin could be in/on things i touch/eat which has forced me to blow air out my nose and spit constantly when i think about it...(sounds funny but isn't)...i tell myself i will die on certain days of the week and specific times which leads to panic attacks or high anxiety...

i desperetly want to magically be back on paxil but i have such a fear that after i take it once my heart will start to race uncontrollably and that i will convince myself i will never be able to get paxil out of my system and i will go literally insane and kill myself...

what should i do? if i go to a mental hospital they will make me take drugs which may result in terrible things happening to me...

i'm an atheist and am about to pray to god for help

[monster]

hi

im so sad to hear of how your feeling at the moment, but i want to re-assure you, it can get alot better than this as you know. you've got your self in a huge circle of worry and panic at the moment, and you must find a way of breaking this in order to get back on the road to recovery. now i know this is easier said than done, but it is possible.

when i first developed anxiety i suffered from panic attacks and i too was convinced i was about to have a heart attack at any minute, i constantly checked my pulse, and when ever my heart skipped a beat or palpitated it would send me into a huge panic attack. now the only way i got through this was by assurance from my doctor that my heart was fine (i made him put me on an ecg) but mainly from pure acceptance that i suffered from anxiety, nothing else and that i had nothing else to loose but to every time i had a palpitation or i caught my self checking my pulse i just accepted it, consentrated on my breathing and thought "i have anxiety nothing else, ive had all the relative checks on my heart and theres nothing wrong with it, palpitations can do absoloutly nothing too me, there not halmfull in anyway, so im going to sit here and accept every symptom, none of them can hurt me and in time they will go away because ITS ONLY ANXIETY"

i know this sounds hard but if your anxiety has got you to the point where you think you need to be put into a mental hospital (which you dont, trust me) youve got nothing else to loose.