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View Full Version : What is Wrong with Me?



cai24
10-21-2007, 09:37 PM
I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction. I imagine that I should probably get some professional help, but it's something I haven't done yet (mainly because I'm too embarrassed).

One of my major problems is that I have horrible anxiety. I would say that I first started to notice this when I was in middle school (I'm a sophomore in college now). For example, when I played baseball, I would be so afraid of having a ball hit to me for two reasons...1. people would be there watching and 2. i was afraid of making a mistake (mainly b/c people were there watching!). I would get so nervous that I would pray for rain, so I didn't have to play. I ended up quitting, because I couldn't take the stress. I was also a little chubby, and I thought that by losing weight and getting more muscular, I would solve the problem. I did both of those, and it didn't work.

I am pretty sure that this anxiety kept me from making friends. I was probably the only person in my school who didn't have any real friends from that school. I always get embarrassed around people (i'll be thinking that I look weird, my hair looks bad, etc). Believe it or not, I actually made a female friend in my senior year of high school, but it's been hard keeping that friendship afloat...see below:

Everyone got their license at 17...I finally got mine at 18. I still don't have a car, and I still don't drive. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am too scared. I'm afraid that I'll get into an accident. I actually went to dinner a few times with my female friend, and she drove. I was totally embarrassed...but what can I say?...I'm too afraid to drive? I just tell her that I'm saving money for a car. I would love to one day say that I'll drive, but I don't think it's possible. My ridiculous thinking would tell me that if I drive her, I could get into an accident while we're out...and to make it even worse, i'd be even more embarrassed, b/c she would be in the car.

I was actually supposed to go to dinner this past week, but we ended up not going. I haven't had my hair cut in a while, and I was all self-conscious about it. I told her I didn't think I could go, because my hair looked bad. I think that she thought I was making a lame excuse and took it as an insult. In reality, I am so self-conscious. I would be paranoid thinking she is making fun of my hair (even though I know that she doesn't care what it looks like). Even if my hair did look good, I'd still be a nervous wreck...i'd feel uncomfortable knowing that she is picking me up, because I don't drive.

All of this anxiety is making me depressed. I think that I'm becoming depressed because of the anxiety/self-consciousness. I don't understand why I am like this, but it's really ruining my life. I feel like I would be very happy if I fixed my anxiety problem. I want to have friends, I want to do things, but my anxiety makes it impossible.

I appreciate any insight.

ZBlit
10-22-2007, 06:04 AM
feel for you man, i go through the same sort of things, I find just keep telling yourself that you are cool and that you can drive and that you will impress people works for a while if you say it to yourself enough, but doesn't seem to last long for me :p

I wouldn't worry to much as you just seem like you lack confidence rather than have any real mental issues, which is great!

Find someone to do that would increase your confidence.. for this I don't really have an idea.. i'd like to know.

RabidBadger
10-22-2007, 07:23 PM
I agree with ZBlit. It's a confidence thing. If you build things up in your mind (like driving) to be massive problems then they will always be massive problems. It's all about the amount of significance you give to these things.

If you found yourself in a position where you had to drive, you'd do it. You just scare yourself by thinking about it too much.

Try to remember that nobody on this planet is any better or any worse than you are. Everybody has their good points and bad points and it's easy for a lack of confidence to spiral once the seed has been sewn.

This time last year I couldn't get in a car. Now I own a car and drive it every day. I can't explain exactly what has changed but it has absolutely nothing to do with my ability to drive, just my confidence.

Good luck

Chris