New Member (need your help) HIV anxiety

[PPR1983]

Hello everyone

This is my first post to the Anxiety Forum. I have read many messages in the forum in the past and found it really helpful.

In march this year I went through an HIV scare. As the window period is 3 months I had to wait and then bite the bullet and go to the doctors for a test. Thankfully it came back negative which was a relief for a few days then I started worrying about HIV again. Any little niggle in my body I was going mad and getting really down convincing myself that I had HIV. I went back to the doctor again for another test and this has also came back negative.

My doctor has told me to forget about it and relax as I do not have HIV but I still can't get rid of these controlling thoughts. I feel that when I try to be happy these thoughts come flying back and bogg me dowm. I feel really low and that life is going to be short because of this HIV anxiety even tho I don't have HIV.

I suffer from bad bowlels which the doctor has said is IBS but I keep linking this to HIV.

Can anyone please give me some advise to push these thoughts out of my head, It is taking over my life which used to be great and carefree.

Many thanks for reading

PPR1983

[CallMeCrazy]

Your constant worrying is probably what's causing those IBS like symptoms. I know when I would get really neverous I would have bowel problems. If it's not too personal, what caused your HIV scare in the first place?

[PPR1983]

Thanks for your reply Callmecrazy.

I noticed blood in the condom and I really freaked out. Ever since then I have been a mess my whole life has changed and I am constantly worrying about it, even with 2 negative results which is good and it probably always will be negative no matter how many tests I go for but I can't seem to accept it. I know with anxiety as I have suffered this in the past it brings on a whole load of symtoms to the body but these symptoms I am relating to HIV.

I would really like to go back to my doctor to talk about it but you get to the stage when you feel you are wasting their time and the eyes roll sometimes because they get fed-up with the sight of you.

I just want my life back.

PPR1983

[CallMeCrazy]

Well you've had tests and they came back negative. Was this person HIV positive or something? Or do you think they have it and don't know it?

[V for Victor]

I would've been freaked out at the sight of the blood in the condom too, but it's more likely that there was just a little skin tear on your penis or blood in your ejaculate (which is not always that uncommon) than it being some sort of sign of HIV.

If you've been tested negative for HIV more than once, I wouldn't worry about it at all. You're not carrying the virus.

What you really need to focus on is your anxiety, not its content. If you go back to see the doctor again, it should be to talk about anxiety and these obsessions.

I think something like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would be very useful to you, where you learn to change the way your brain reacts to certain situations, and teach yourself to react to anxiety in a positive way more automatically.

[monster]

hi everyone

this is my first post as ive only just found the forum. ive suffered from anxiety for about a year and a bit now, and needless to say its been a struggle.
right PPR1983, i know the worries your going through, i know that they can be virtually crippling. you think about them constantly and all you want is for them to go away. but the only way your going to get over them and anxiety is by pure exceptance. v for victor is totally right when they say uve got to concentrate on your anxiety. the worry isnt the issue even though that sounds crazy. the way i look at it is in my brain ive got this little wire thats become slightly too sensitive and is broken for the moment. now when i hear things, see things or think things that frighten me, this little wire in my brain goes crazy trying to warn me of danger, it sends of loads of signals, bleeping away that i need to be worried and fearfull and get as far away from this danger as possible, but because i know i have anxiety, i have to say to this wire "yea ok, your going to tell me ive got hiv, thats because your broken, but ive had 2 negative test for hiv, these test are 100 % accurate, so i know deep down i havnt got it, so keep telling me ive got hiv, i dont care, you dont worry or scare me because i know your broken and in time you will return back to normal"
this is the only way to over come your fears, i know it sounds hard and believe me it is and sometimes i still struggle with it, but it works.

YOU DONT HAVE HIV, YOU HAVE ANXIETY

two amazing books that i think every one who suufers from anxiety should read and have really helped me are "a life at last" by paul david and "self help for your nerves" by dr claire weekes. the claire weekes book you can get off amazon but the paul david book (the book i think helped the most) you have to get off his website. just type paul david and anxiety in to google and its the first website you can click on.

take your time to look at the website aswell, its excellent and really helped me

[PPR1983]

Thank-you all very much for your replies they are very helpful. I need to address the anxiety root of this and deal with it.

As I have said I have suffered anxiety in the past but not as bad this before.

I have had my tests done at 3 months which is the window period which was negative and one at 5 months was also negative, I need to accept these results and get it into my head that i do not have HIV.

many thanks again for your posts I am going to put them into action!