defmunel
07-22-2013, 11:16 AM
I'm only writing this here to put into words the way I feel.
At the beginning of this year, my brother left his wife and three kids. He made some pretty bad mistakes, and instead of owning them, he ran away. This created a huge divide amongst my entire family.
Before any of it happened, we were all so close and supportive. I believed that my family would be there for me through anything. No questions asked.
Well, around this same time of my brothers split, I miscarried. I was a mess. I believed I was going to die because of some of the symptoms I was having. I really was a wreck. Two of my brothers are in the medical field. One is a PA, the other finishing up med school for psychiatry.
I would bug them a lot about my symptoms. Texting them a lot. They just began not replying or answering my phone calls.
Then my mom called and told me I need to back off, and deal with my anxiety with people who care. That I was ruining my relationships. I took that as my brothers were being bothered. So I texted an apology, and that I'd leave them alone about it.
Even now, 6 months later, they won't talk to me. We live in different states, so we can't socialize on a more personal level.
Anyway, I thought I had gotten past all of it. I let time go, and realized there is nothing more that I can do.
Then my sister called. She had all of my siblings and dad over to her house for a get together. Two of my three brothers are not on speaking terms because of the divorce. So one left quietly, and wouldn't talk to anyone about it.
I miss the days when we could support one another. Where there was love, friendship and trust. Now i feel so much alone in my family. I hate not speaking to them. Ive tried, but I don't want to become annoying or pushy. It's their choice.
I'm going to visit my family tomorrow. I thought I was going to see one of my brothers, and I was looking forward to visiting with him without the anxiety or health questions. But he has changed his plans, and now I won't see him. It broke my heart.
I feel like my brothers are running away from me, even though we haven't spoken in such a long time. What more can I do....I just have to accept and move on. My previous behaviors and anxiety has literally ruined those relationships. It makes me not want to go visit. It hurts when I feel that my own family doesn't love me. This wasn't how we were raised.
Cry fest over. I have to move on.
At the beginning of this year, my brother left his wife and three kids. He made some pretty bad mistakes, and instead of owning them, he ran away. This created a huge divide amongst my entire family.
Before any of it happened, we were all so close and supportive. I believed that my family would be there for me through anything. No questions asked.
Well, around this same time of my brothers split, I miscarried. I was a mess. I believed I was going to die because of some of the symptoms I was having. I really was a wreck. Two of my brothers are in the medical field. One is a PA, the other finishing up med school for psychiatry.
I would bug them a lot about my symptoms. Texting them a lot. They just began not replying or answering my phone calls.
Then my mom called and told me I need to back off, and deal with my anxiety with people who care. That I was ruining my relationships. I took that as my brothers were being bothered. So I texted an apology, and that I'd leave them alone about it.
Even now, 6 months later, they won't talk to me. We live in different states, so we can't socialize on a more personal level.
Anyway, I thought I had gotten past all of it. I let time go, and realized there is nothing more that I can do.
Then my sister called. She had all of my siblings and dad over to her house for a get together. Two of my three brothers are not on speaking terms because of the divorce. So one left quietly, and wouldn't talk to anyone about it.
I miss the days when we could support one another. Where there was love, friendship and trust. Now i feel so much alone in my family. I hate not speaking to them. Ive tried, but I don't want to become annoying or pushy. It's their choice.
I'm going to visit my family tomorrow. I thought I was going to see one of my brothers, and I was looking forward to visiting with him without the anxiety or health questions. But he has changed his plans, and now I won't see him. It broke my heart.
I feel like my brothers are running away from me, even though we haven't spoken in such a long time. What more can I do....I just have to accept and move on. My previous behaviors and anxiety has literally ruined those relationships. It makes me not want to go visit. It hurts when I feel that my own family doesn't love me. This wasn't how we were raised.
Cry fest over. I have to move on.