Anxied because I don't have a girlfriend

[sp8here]

I'm a 19 year old guy. I haven't really had experience with anxiety until my girlfriend left me. She was my first girlfriend, we were together for 2 years and she broke up with me 7 months ago.

Since then I've been really anxious basically whenever I'm alone. I thought she was the one but she's made it very clear she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Since she left me I realized very quickly that I can't be single. I mean I can't handle being alone. I don't really have any friends at the moment either, although that doesn't bother me, but I'm really dying to get a girlfriend right now. The problem is I don't meet any new people anywhere.
I'm currently unemployed, and my school starts in late 2014 (I hope I get a job soon). My point is, work and school for me are the places where it would be natural to meet new people. And I don't go to either of them.

Through friends is also a no, since they're also sort of loners and don't know any girls. I've also thought of online dating, but there's so many reasons I'd like to meet someone in real life rather than the internet. And on top of that, I don't go to clubs or bars, since I don't drink. Also hate the loud music and people only looking for sex etc.

I hope I don't sound arrogant or full of myself, but I don't think my problem is attracting women, but meeting them.
So my question is, what would be my best bet to meet women?

[Ahlstrom]

Lol that's not so bad bro, I'm 20 and I've only gone on dates and erm... other things!

Try school, concerts, clubs, events, really anything with other people. And for the love of god, don't go to clubs; the girls there are as dumb as bricks.

[MrsJ88]

Lol that's not so bad bro, I'm 20 and I've only gone on dates and erm... other things!

Try school, concerts, clubs, events, really anything with other people. And for the love of god, don't go to clubs; the girls there are as dumb as bricks.

I met a guy in Sub Way.... He's now my husband :) never know where you can meet someone special. We were together 4 years then got married... Been together 7 years total :)

[kbean_24]

You gotta go to clubs buddy that's where u can score! ! Ha.
Your 19 why worried about that. I'm sure you'll meet someone in school. Please don't do online dating. Unless your old or hideous u dont belong there. #Bewell

[sp8here]

It makes me sad how none of you actually read what I wrote

[MrsJ88]

It makes me sad how none of you actually read what I wrote

I read what you wrote.. You want a gf but do not know where to meet women. I was saying sometimes you find someone in an unexpected place when you aren't looking.

[raggamuffin]

As the saying goes "misery loves company". I think it's prudent to suggest that people attract other's in a similar situation to themselves. For years I felt horrid when I was alone, I thought to myself that it'd be happier if I was with someone. I felt unstable, unhappy and I wound up attracting and dating unstable, emotionally unstable people and it didn't help me whatsoever.

It's best to deal with issues you have. You don't need another person to feel happy. That's just a lack of confidence speaking through. When you do your best to imrpove the way you feel, the direction you're taking in life then you will start to attract people of a similar nature.

In my opinion it's not fair on other people if you try and date people when you're feeling anxious or depressed or have anger issues or whatever else that's preventing you from feeling happy and being yoruself from day to day. That's not to say everyone should remain single during these times, but I think it's best for people to really realize how big a commitment a relationship can be.

In this day and age when people rush into relationships and weighty decisions in their lives it's best to make sure you're in a comfortable state of mind and that your life is feeling fulfilled and positive.

A problem shared is a problem halved is another common saying. It can feel great dating someone, you don't feel worried, you fele happy and wanted and loved. But the honeymoon period is only ever temporary and if you have a whole heap of problems you're subduing and not dealing with you're going to wind up unloading this on your partner. Is that something that's really fair?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. People are a lot stronger than they realize and we have it within ourselves to be happy and live a fulfilling life.

Ed

[trinidiva]

It is summertime....lots of free festivals, concerts and other free programs. That would be an ideal place to meet someone who shares similar interests. Just strike up a conversation about whatever event you are at...and let it go from there.

I'd like to be honest with you though. You need to learn how to be happy by yourself sometimes too. I know people who feel like they can't be single, jumping from one relationship to the next, and it doesn't seem to work out for them. You shouldn't have to rely on others in order for you to be settled and happy.

[DodgingRain]

MrsJ88 is right. Its really about taking advantage of opportunities and being willing to talk to a girl that you just happen to be standing next to in line or whatever. Just make a comment on something and see if she talks back and seems nice. If so just do the "hey, would you be interested in going for a bite to eat or....". You'll be surprised at how well that can work. Worse case she says no and you move on to the next one.

Also pay attention to what's going on. I know I've been hit on quite a few times by girls and was just to dumb to notice or take advantage of it at the time. A girl has to pretty much knock me in the head and say "I'm hitting on you" for me to know it, lol. Heck, I could have been in a threesome when I was that age if I would have been paying attention instead of having to wait until my late 30's to try that.

I understand the not wanting to be alone. I don't do well with that either.

As far as places to meet people, pretty much anywhere where there are other people around works. It doesn't have to be work or school. Join a gym or a running club, go to the beach, go to the library, go to the grocery store and pick the cutes checkout girl and see if she seems receptive at all, etc.

[Ahlstrom]

So my question is, what would be my best bet to meet women?

Try school, concerts, clubs, events,

It makes me sad how none of you actually read what I wrote

Are you @#$%ing kidding me?

[sp8here]

As I wrote, I don't go to a school or clubs, so yes I am fucking kidding you. My point was, I had ruled out almost every single suggestion that was made to me. Thus saying no one actually paid attention to what I wrote.

DodgingRain, that's actually helpful, one question though; if a checkout girl does seem very receptive, how do you go on asking her out? I mean in a situation where you've only said a few words, how do you do it without sounding extremely awkward?

[MrsJ88]

As I wrote, I don't go to a school or clubs, so yes I am fucking kidding you. My point was, I had ruled out almost every single suggestion that was made to me. Thus saying no one actually paid attention to what I wrote.

I said a fast food restaurant lol didn't rule that one out... Everyone's point is, GET OUT and go to some of the places you have ruled out. I know you can't just go to school but other places you can. If you always rule every suggestion out then you'll never meet anyone.

[DodgingRain]

As I wrote, I don't go to a school or clubs, so yes I am fucking kidding you. My point was, I had ruled out almost every single suggestion that was made to me. Thus saying no one actually paid attention to what I wrote.

DodgingRain, that's actually helpful, one question though; if a checkout girl does seem very receptive, how do you go on asking her out? I mean in a situation where you've only said a few words, how do you do it without sounding extremely awkward?

Make comments on something she is wearing that you think is cool to start a conversation. If that goes well then say something like "I know this might sound a little forward but would you like to go see movie x sometime?" or "hey, I'm gonna go do x tonight, you wanna come?" It just depends on the situation, you have to think on your feet.

I cheated when I was your age, lol. I got a job doing training in the gym at a YWCA. Was in close contact with women the entire shift some of which would hit on me. It was minimum wage and it wasn't very many hours but the fringe benefits were worth it, teee- heee. ;)

[Ryaan]

If your problem is honestly stress about not being able to meet woman, than either you don't leave your house or you don't own a vehicle, (you have no social structure), sometimes we need to deal with our problems before we can grab life by the horns and F*** her silly, get out and meet woman, allot of people say Bars aren't a good place to meet people, thats completely false, even if you don't drink, try it, if your attractive it wont be too hard, even if you don't manage to build a relationship it will help u in the end, buuuut....

WRAP IT IN LATEX OR SHE'L GET YOUR PAYCHEQUES

[Ryaan]

For the record, you have social anxiety.

[frankzito]

I just wait for them to come to me! It doesn't work real well :-/

[Ryaan]

I just wait for them to come to me! It doesn't work real well :-/

So does he, probably just doesn't realize it.