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View Full Version : Deeper into depression



HealingTime
07-19-2013, 09:51 PM
Well today I decided to start the process of divorce. I am scared to death it's going to get ugly but there isn't much I can to at this point. My husband spent two days flirting thru text with me and at the mere mention of a date with me turned on a dime letting me know he's not ready for that and might never be. Told me to go do my own thing he doesn't care and I'd better not be asking him what he's doing.

So I made a call to get help finding an attorney. I'm done. I'm spending the e ending wib my son cause I gotta do it while I can.

Things will get worse before better. I know this. I need to be prepared. I'm not sure how but I need to be. Therapy will turn into a quest of how not to hate myself and blame myself for the failure.

I found a place to stay with a friend when it comes time for me to move out. He knows nothing. I've put up with his shit for over 12 years I don't know how shocked he'll be when he finds out. I don't know how he'll find out.

I have to get out in order to heal. This depression and anxiety is caused by this marriage. I want out of this house now truthfully.

But I no longer feel suicidal. I think I am starting to see the happiness I'll feel not walking in eggshells all the time. He'll blame me, I know but I can't hang in for that reason. He'll never give me a chance. Never.