fearing the panic

[doublem]

Hi everyone,

I had a really bad attack about two weeks ago (first one in a loooong time) and ever since then i've found myself being worried about having another attack; basically, the fear of having another attack has become a trigger!

I've gone back onto citalopram after just being off them for just over a year and can stave off most attacks / get through them with the steading breathing technique, but i was just wondering if any1 else had suffered from this type of anxiety and what coping techniques you used?

Thanks all,
DoubleM

[kendem26]

I know what you mean, the fixation on it, the fear (in your minds eye the inevitable onset) of the attack itself. The technique i've used is this and its quite simple really... 'i don't care' ... "I don't care if i pass out, vomit, die .. in front of all these people, i don't care because i am going to live my life the way I want to not the way some illness dictates me to". It's an insidious illness that we have I almost feel now that it has a personality all of its own. But its a coward it has to ambush us through our subconscious, if the importance of your purpose in life, your dreams exceed in stature the importance of the embarrassment, the shame of this illness being exposed or felt then you will win.

The great tenor Luciano Pavarotti died recently as you may know, it made me reminisce about the song he sang with two other fine tenors Domingo and Carreras, i can't speak Italian so never knew the words but after hearing the song again and being so moved by it i looked up the meaning of the lyrics, the final verse is this.

Nessun Dorma -Puccini

Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All'alba vincero!
vincero, vincero!

"Vanish, o night!
Fade, stars!
Fade, stars!
At dawn I shall win!
I shall win, I shall win!"

Apologies if i'm being overly sentimental but i to a great degree saw this as being a metaphor for the anguish i feel in my own life. The dark times are fearful and harrowing but when the darkness subsides the light returns and in the end, we shall win!

Good luck