Free CBT course.. please give it a shot [Archive] - Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks

ptncud

09-24-2007, 01:02 AM

LESSON 1, Part 1: Our Search For Answers

My name is Pat Rowden, and although I have not personally suffered from anxiety and depression it devastated my son’s life for over forty years.

Although there is a ton of information out there regarding the treatment of anxiety disorders and depression, it tends to be very contradictive and confusing to say the least.

To weed out fact from fiction, regardless of source, is very difficult and time consuming. Most of it in my opinion, is either out-dated, inaccurate, or both.

About eight years ago, Dave was diagnosed manic-depressive (bipolar) by his psychiatrist, and also the Mood Disorder Clinic in Calgary, Alberta.

He was treated with a multitude of anti-depressant medications. They made him sick, made him sleep his life away or did nothing, which simply deepened his depression and anxiety.

I sat in on most of the talk sessions. They appeared to be a waste of time to us, so Dave asked his psychiatrist if he could see a psychologist as well, and was told that if he visited a psychologist he would be dropped as a patient.

I believe that psychiatrists and psychologists should be working together on psychological illnesses, so this made no sense to us.

Dave had been taking Wellbutrin (Zyban) to help him stop smoking, but found that in a twenty four hour day he was lucky to get two hours sleep. When he told his psychiatrist about the problem it was suggested he increase the dosage.

A lady that we knew, who was suffering severely from anxiety and depression, had been taking Clonazepam to help her sleep, so I suggested that he give Dave a prescription for Clonazepam instead. In the beginning his psychiatrist refused to do so, but relented after two more monthly visits. As soon as Dave started taking the Clonazepam he was getting a full night’s sleep.

Dave’s psychiatrist then dropped Dave as a patient, and sent him back to our family doctor for treatment, rather than refer him to another psychiatrist. I consider this extremely unethical, if not illegal. This is like a heart specialist sending a heart patient back to a family doctor for treatment.

The report Dave’s psychiatrist sent to our family doctor said that Dave was non-compliant, which simply was not true. However, the excuse that Dave’s psychiatrist used for dropping Dave as a patient, was that he was in charge of making sure the psychiatrists in all the Calgary hospitals followed the same treatment plan, so he was forced to reduce his patient load.

Because of this last episode with our mental health system I became completely disillusioned with the traditional approach to treating psychological disorders, and I began looking at other forms of treatment.

I spent hours on the Internet looking for answers, and in doing so our first glimmer of hope came when we found a support group for manic depression in Calgary. We started attending the weekly meetings.

Dave explained his symptoms to the lady who was co-chaired one of the meetings. She said she suffered from bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and agoraphobia, and told Dave she felt he suffered severely from anxiety not bipolar disorder. She also told us about a support group for anxiety in Calgary called the Freedom From Fear Foundation.

We began attending these weekly meetings. They were somewhat helpful, but unfortunately most of the people attending the meetings suffered from panic disorder, and wanted to live. Their greatest fear was having another panic attack. Dave on the other hand did not want to live. He just wanted his never-ending fear and depression to end.

As a result I again began searching the Internet for answers, and luckily found one of Dr. Richards’ websites. He is a psychologist that had suffered severely from social anxiety (phobia) for over 20 years, but finally overcame his anxiety using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). In desperation I purchased the 20-tape CBT course that he had put together for people suffering from social anxiety

At the time the Canadian dollar was worth half the US dollar, so the course cost me over $500. I truly believe it was the best money I have ever spent, because I know it not only saved my son’s life, but gave him a future, thanks to Dave’s determination to succeed even though many times it seemed hopeless.

. Dave’s life had been on hold for over 40 years, with no sign of him ever being able to overcome his fear and depression. He saw the course as his last hope. Even though he was deeply depressed most of the time, he was able to work with the lessons on a more or less consistent basis, but there were many days when he was too depressed and fearful to leave the perceived safety of our home to buy a quart of milk, let alone work on the lessons

Dave had countless setbacks, but persevered, because he said: “he was just plain sick and tired, of being sick and tired, so he saw CBT as his last hope.”

It was my belief that Dave suffered severely from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), a fear of virtually everything, and agoraphobia, a fear of leaving his perceived safety zone, not bipolar disorder. Now that Dave has overcome his anxiety I am thoroughly convinced that my belief was correct.

. In speaking personally with Dr. Richards he told me he was amazed to find that his course had worked for Dave, as the course was geared towards social anxiety not generalized anxiety disorder. Even to this day there is no course specifically designed for people suffering from generalized anxiety disorder.

When I seen that CBT was working for Dave I decided to offer a free CBT course, based on Dr. Richards’ tape series at our local library. It however became apparent to me that people who suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and agoraphobia did not attend this course, nor support group meetings, and seldom seek help of any kind.

My son’s greatest wish was to go to sleep and never wake up. On the other hand, people who suffer from panic disorder often rush to the emergency ward of the local hospital expecting to hear that they have some incurable disease, only to be told there is nothing wrong with them. This just adds to their fear, frustration, and embarrassment.

The chairman of the Freedom From Fear Foundation Support Group meetings had overcame panic disorder, which gave Dave some hope that he too might be successful in overcoming his anxiety and depression.

Dave often said: “he was looking for a white rhino, someone who had actually overcame generalized anxiety disorder.” I am happy to report that Dave has overcome his generalized anxiety disorder, and now has a future.

For those of you who suffer severely from generalized anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, Dave can be your white rhino.

Dave often said that there must be a reason for him having to go through all this pain and suffering. Maybe the reason is that it forced me to learn as much as possible about psychological illnesses and their treatment. In doing so I realized that there is little constructive help out there for people suffering from these illnesses, which motivated me to develop and offer this CBT course.

It became apparent that most people who suffer severely from psychological illnesses are either unemployed or underemployed, and do not have the money required to buy a CBT course, even if they knew one existed. It’s all they can do to put food on the table and a roof over their head.

For this reason in October 2005 I started offering a free CBT course on the Internet for people suffering from psychological illnesses. I have revised and updated it several times since then. This will be the sixth time I have offered this free course.

I have greatly expanded Dr. Richards’ course to cover other forms of anxiety disorder, and bipolar as well.

Of all the tasks in the world I believe that reprogramming your brain to think more positively and rationally is one of the most difficult tasks you will ever face, but at the same time, the most rewarding.
It would appear that there is a conspiracy of silence preventing the general public from obtaining vital information about the prevention and treatment of anxiety disorders and mental illness, such as bipolar disorder, by the greedy multi-national drug cartels who’s primary concern is to increase shareholder profits, by producing antidepressant medications that simply work on the symptoms of the illness, so that the patient can function in society, but little else.
They have no interest in finding a cure through natural means because natural solutions can’t be patented. This would be counterproductive to their primary mandated goal of increasing profits. “It’s all about money.”
Sadly it would appear that the FDA and Health Canada have become fronts for the greedy drug cartels. This may or may not be true, but the evidence certainly points in that direction.
Drug cartels have pored billions of dollars into supporting universities and medical schools. The result has been that they have a strong influence on what is taught to medical students. From my own experience in attending university, to receive my B. Ed. in Voc. Ed, it became very evident that the best way to pass my courses was to find out what the professor wanted and give it to him, whether I believed it or not. I’m confident that medical students face the same dilemma.
I believe medical students are totally brainwashed by the time they graduate, and have little desire or interest in continuing to look elsewhere for answers.
Also medical students are not selected for their moral judgment, but their ability to successfully complete their studies
As a practicing doctor, if they do find that alternative methods work better than the traditional methods taught in medical school, I understand that they are afraid to tell their patients about them, for fear of losing their license to practice. As a minimum they are humiliated, ridiculed and condemned by their colleges. They also have accumulated a huge debt in getting their medical training and wish to pay it off as soon as possible. It takes time to convince their patients to use natural methods to treat themselves. Time is money. It is much more time efficient to simply prescribe the latest pill to hit the market.
In defense of overworked doctors, in our fast-paced throw away society, we are often looking for the quick fix, and would rather swallow a pill than do what is needed to get better, and therefore we become our own worst enemy.
To add to the problem family doctors are not trained in the treatment of mental illness and anxiety disorders. Therefore they rely heavily on the drug companies for information. I believe many “well meaning doctors” have been misled by inaccurate information fed to them by drug company salesmen. .
When I decided to offer a free CBT course at our local library I made up several posters and asked local businesses to put them on their bulletin boards. I find it interesting that the only businesses that did not do so were the local drugstores.
I also approached four newspapers in central Alberta asking them to place an article I had written in “The Letters To The Editor” section of their paper informing people that I was offering the free course. When I inquired why it was not happening I discovered that I had to sanitize the article to make it “politically correct” before it would be printed.
As the Internet cannot be policed I believe this conspiracy of silence is slowly being broken. Lately tradition medical approaches and myths are now being questioned thanks in part to the availability of information on the Internet. For this reason I believe that we may soon reach a new milestone in the prevention and treatment of mental illness and anxiety disorders. That is my hope and belief.
There is no doubt that the quality of the foods we eat today has drastically declined over the last century, and therefore food supplementation may prove to be the missing link to prevent and treat many of our illnesses, both physical and mental.
I still maintain that reprogramming the mind will always be an integral part of the treatment process for people suffering from mental illness and anxiety disorders.
Sadly, I have yet to find a single family doctor or psychiatrist in our area that mention that cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) even exists, and that it should be part of the recovery process. The need for a well balanced diet, exercise, and sunlight are never mentioned, nor have I found them suggest that food supplementation may be required, particularly for people suffering from a mental illness. They also neglect to mention that support groups exist. The best that they seem to offer is the latest antidepressant pill to hit the market.
Below is an article I have put together to illustrate how and why cognitive behavioral therapy works, to reprogram our brain to remove all the self-defeating negative garbage that we have told ourselves, and replace it with the positive rational truth.

How did you learn to count? By constant repetition. Will you ever forget how to count? No! Why not? Because it was drilled deeply into the emotional part of your brain by constant repetition, so counting became automatic.

Unfortunately the brain is not discriminating, and will accept any information, whether true or not, if it is repeated often enough.

Why do you suppose advertisers on TV present the same add over and over again? This constant repetition drills the message deeply into our subconscious mind, where it will not be easily forgotten.

If you felt at age six that you were “stupid” as my son did, would you ever forget it? No. Why not? Because once you firmly believe something, whether true or not, you will look everywhere for evidence to prove that what you believe is correct.

The sad news is that you have programmed your brain with false negative beliefs about yourself, through constant negative self-talk daily. The good news is that anything learned can be unlearned through persistent and consistent repetition of the positive rational truth.

This then, in a nutshell is what CBT is all about.

It is a method of reprogramming the brain by removing all the negative false garbage about you that has collected for years, and replacing it with the positive rational truth.

My son and I have talked at some length about the fact that we believe that CBT should be part of the regular school curriculum, as we believe everyone can benefit from CBT, whether they suffer from anxiety or not.

NOTE: We feel that if CBT had been part of the curriculum when he was going to school, it might well have saved him from 40 years of needless suffering.

By reprogramming the brain in this manner, the old self-defeating neural pathway in the brain dies out from disuse, and a new positive rational neural pathway becomes stronger and stronger, the more you use it.

It’s the use it or lose it principle, but in a positive way. The more you think rationally and positively, the more the old negative neural pathway dies out, and the stronger the new pathway becomes.

You have now permanently reprogrammed the brain to believe the rational truth about yourself, and as a result you leave behind the world of fear and misery forever.

NOTE: There will be more information about this in a future lesson.

There is no quick fix, no magic bullet, or pill that can do this for you.

Some of you may require medication to dull the symptoms of the illness so you can focus on the cognitive behavior therapy handouts, but medication by itself, according to Dr. Richards who suffered for over 20 years with social anxiety, and is now a psychologist who specializes in the treatment of social anxiety, will never permanently change the way you perceive the world and your place in it.

Only reprogramming the mind can do that, and cognitive behavior therapy is the fastest and most effective way of doing this according to Dr. Richards.

This is actually a four-month course because Dr. Richards says that the mind will only accept new information very slowly. It can’t be crammed in.

So as not to give you information overload, I will send you the lessons in installments.

This is not a study session, and should not be viewed as such. On the other hand the information has to be taken seriously.

I believe the largest hurtle to reprogramming the brain, is to truly believe that you in fact can.

It has been my experience that the medical community in our area, appear to know very little about treating anxiety disorders, and simply prescribe the latest pill to come down the pipe.

Medication can be helpful for some people to control the symptoms of their anxiety so they can function, for others they do nothing, or make the problem worse.

In my son’s case they made him sick, did nothing or made him sleep his life away.

To further complicate the problem, I am now convinced he was diagnosed inaccurately with bipolar disorder by his psychiatrist, and treated for it with countless pills, when in fact I believe he suffered severely from anxiety and agoraphobia.

Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), support groups, exercise, good diet and food supplementation were never mentioned as being helpful, if not necessary.

I believe that you need to reprogram your brain to remove all the false negative garbage that has collected there over many years, replacing it with the rational truth. No pill can do that, only you can by reprogramming your brain.

My son used Dr. Richards’ 20- tape social anxiety CBT course to do this.

The process is very simple, but it is not easy.

It takes consistent and persistent practice using the lessons I will send you, to be successful.

In the beginning you may not believe what you are reading, or even believe that you can get better.

You will have countless setbacks, that's normal even Dr. Richards did.

Remember this is your course, and the more you actively participate the more you will get out of it. I love hearing from you even if it’s simply an update on your progress.

Because the course covers such a broad range of illnesses, if you feel a lesson does not apply to your situation set it on the back burner.

Take what you feel is useful to you and leave the rest.

I agree with Dr. Richards that all of the anxiety disorders are basically a learned behavior, and anything learned can be unlearned using CBT, if you are willing to put in the time and effort required. It would appear that for some people food supplementation would also be required.

In my son’s case he used Truehope’s food supplement Empowerplus for approximately four months to rebuild his neurotransmitter level. He discontinued its use, and to this point in time it would appear that he no longer needs it. Only time will tell if he may require a maintenance level to remain symptom free, but to this point in time it would appear that he does not, but even if he does, it is a small price to pay to be anxiety and depression free.

In closing I believe you have everything to gain, and nothing to lose by taking this course, and I wish you every success regardless of whether you suffer from an anxiety disorder or a mental illness.

VAUGHANY

09-24-2007, 07:20 AM

please send via email to me aswell thank u.

ptncud

09-24-2007, 04:15 PM

Hey Vaughany and boobearlove could you send me your emails or post them here.
Thanks

ptncud

09-25-2007, 02:50 AM

Lesson 2: Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) Basics

The first strategy to help you overcome your anxiety and fear, which you will learn in this lesson is slow talk. Slow talk is an extremely valuable tool that you will use throughout the course to drive information down into the emotional part of the brain, where it will not be easily forgotten.
Slow Talk

Dr. Richards has found that slow talk has also proven to be a very valuable strategy to use in stressful social situations. It however, must be learned and mastered in the safety of the home, to the point were you can automatically shift into slow talk mode without thinking, before using it in real world.
For this reason I am introducing it at the beginning of the course to give you an opportunity to master it as soon as possible.
In putting this course together I use it on a regular basis to help me better understand and digest new information, and also in proofreading my lessons. I have found that just rereading a lesson in slow talk helps me to remember key concepts, improve sentence structure, and find typing errors.
I would recommend reading each lesson at least three times in slow talk to firmly entrench the information into your mind.
To learn any new skill takes practice to master it. The professional golfer, Tiger Woods did not get to his level of expertise without consistent and persistent practice. Nor will you master this skill without practice.
Read the lessons out-loud slowly to yourself for about 30 minutes a day.

This can be broken up into two sessions if you wish.

Read the lessons slightly slower than your normal speech.

Put lots of emotion into your voice. This tells the emotional part of your brain that this is important, and to pay attention.

It also helps to prevent your mind from wandering, as well.

Pick a time when you are relatively calm and relaxed. If you are not relatively calm and relaxed little information will likely sink into the brain.

Slow talk should be practiced until you can automatically shift to slow talk without thinking about it. Think of it as shifting to a lower gear when climbing a hill. Cars with automatic transmissions do it automatically for you.
By practicing it in a non-threatening situation at home you will be able to shift to slow talk automatically in the real world as you feel the anxiety start to build, just like your car senses the extra power required to climb a hill and automatically shifts to a lower gear.
The change in speed is so slight that nobody will notice that you are using it.
Dr. Richards found that his patients noticed, that people they were talking to, paid more attention to what they had to say when they used slow-talk, which is an added bonus that he did not expect.
When Dr. Richards first introduced slow talk to his patients he did not think it would be that significant, but as he used it in his clinics with his patients he found that it has proven to be one of the more useful strategies to learn, particularly when people find themselves in stressful conversational situations.

CBT Basics

In searching the Internet for up-to-date, accurate information regarding the treatment of anxiety and depression, I was impressed with this article written by J.W. Bush Ph. D, a psychiatrist in New York who treats people with psychological illnesses using CBT.
It should be noted that the comments which are highlighted in red, are comments I have added to his article, as a result of my experiences in attending anxiety support group meetings, attending bipolar support group meetings, in offering this course, and as a supportive parent helping my son deal with his illness.
I have added some of Dr. Richards’ comments to this lesson as well. I have also highlighted his comments in red.
Dr. Richards is a psychologist that had seen countless doctors for over 20 years, and tried every drug available at the time for his fear and depression. He also spent every Saturday morning in his local library trying to find out what was wrong with him. He finally figured out that he was suffering severely from social anxiety, but had no idea how to overcome it. Once he discovered CBT he was able to overcome his social anxiety using it.
Dr. Richards now successfully treats patients suffering from social anxiety using CBT in his Arizona clinic.
Countless people who were unable to attend his clinic for various reasons implored him to help them. As a result he developed a 20-tape CBT series for people suffering from social anxiety.
Through the use of this tape series my son Dave has been able to get his anxiety and depression under control, after suffering for over 40 years. He went from being totally housebound and unemployable to becoming a partner in a very successful construction business.
Through CBT Dave has developed the coping skills and strategies to deal with whatever life throws his way. He made the comment just a few days ago that the more intense the situation the calmer he becomes, which tends to be the opposite of so-called normal people’s reaction.
Dave says this is the case because he feared everything, so no particular situation was anymore significant than another. Now that he has overcome his anxiety disorder, this lifetime of conditioning allows him to feel calm and relaxed, regardless of how tense the situation becomes.
This fact was brought to our attention a few years ago when a person who had recovered from panic disorder, but still attended the Freedom From Fear Support Group meetings as a support person. He made the comment that while he was working on a construction site a forklift fell onto a coworker. All the so-called normal coworkers lost their cool. He on the other hand simply looked at the situation calmly and said: “There are enough of us to simply lift up the forklift and pull Joe out”, which they did.
For more in-depth information on anxiety disorders and their treatment I would suggest that you visit Dr. Richards website:
www.socialanxietyinstitute.com (http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.com)

CBT Basics by J.W. Bush PhD.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR THERAPY is a clinically and research proven breakthrough in mental health care. Hundreds of studies by research psychologists and psychiatrists make it clear why CBT has become the preferred treatment for conditions such as these . . .
• Depression and mood swings
• Shyness and social anxiety
• Panic attacks and phobias
• Obsessions and compulsions (OCD and related conditions)
• Chronic anxiety or worry
• Post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSD and related conditions)
• Eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) and obesity
• Insomnia and other sleep problems
• Difficulty establishing or staying in relationships
• Problems with marriage or other relationships you're already in
• Job, career or school difficulties
• Feeling “stressed out”
• Insufficient self-esteem (accepting or respecting yourself)
• Inadequate coping skills, or ill-chosen methods of coping
• Passivity, procrastination and “passive aggression”
• Substance abuse, co-dependency and “enabling”
• Trouble keeping feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, eagerness, excitement, etc., within bounds
• Over-inhibition of feelings or expression

Just what is CBT?

Cognitive behavior therapy combines two very effective kinds of psychotherapy — cognitive therapy and behavior therapy.

Cognitive therapy teaches you how certain thinking patterns are causing your symptoms by giving you a distorted picture of what's going on in your life, and making you feel anxious, depressed or angry for no good reason, or provoking you into ill-chosen actions.
It teaches you how to calm your mind and body, so you can feel better, think more clearly, and make better decisions.
It also helps you weaken the connections between troublesome situations and your habitual reactions to them: Reactions, such as fear, depression, rage, and self-defeating or self-damaging behavior.

Behavior therapy: Behavior therapy is where you put the strategies and coping skills you have learned into practice.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) Is Active Therapy

Whether it's the way you feel, the way you act, or how other people treat you, CBT focuses on finding out just what needs to be changed and what doesn't — and then works for those targeted changes.
CBT provides you with very powerful tools for stopping your symptoms and getting your life on a more satisfying track.
No other type of psychotherapy has anything like this track record in research.
Some exploration of people's life histories is necessary and desirable — if their current problems are closely tied to “unfinished emotional business” from the past, or if they grow out of a repeating pattern of difficulty.
Nevertheless, 100 years of psychotherapy have made it clear that focusing on the past can at times help explain a person's difficulties. But, this activity all too often does little to actually overcome anxiety disorders and the depression associated with them.
Dr. Richards has found that constantly revisiting the past, as many psychiatrists do, simply reinforces your negative thinking, and as a result tends to be very counterproductive.
Instead, in CBT we aim at rapid improvement in our feelings and moods, and early changes in any self-defeating behavior we may be caught up in.
As you can see, CBT is more present-centered and forward-looking than traditional therapies. In other words, CBT focuses on exactly what traditional therapies tend to leave out — how to achieve beneficial change, as opposed to mere explanation or “insight.”
Other symptoms for which CBT has demonstrated its effectiveness include problems with relationships, family, work, school, insomnia, and self-esteem.

What about drug treatment?

CBT is usually employed by itself, without psychiatric drugs.
For some people, (chiefly those with psychotic symptoms), drugs are essential and may need to be continued indefinitely. For others, short-term drug treatment is needed to obtain a partial reduction in symptoms before CBT can be fully effective.
For most people, however, it is preferable to try CBT alone before prescribing medications. This is for several reasons:
Despite their reputation as “wonder drugs,” antidepressants such as; Elavil, Luvox, Zoloft, Effexor, Serozone, Prozac, Paxil and Wellbutrin work only about 65–70% of the time.
It is not uncommon to be prescribed several of these drugs in succession before one is found that is effective in reducing the symptoms, and in my son’s case none worked. It is also not uncommon for a given drug to stop working over time, and other drugs must be prescribed until one is found that reduces the symptoms of the illness. Concoctions of more than one drug are often required as well.
There is mounting evidence to indicate that antidepressants may actually reduce the number of neurotransmitters, such as Serotonin in the brain causing drugs to no longer work. It is also believed that if there are insufficient neurotransmitters in the brain, drugs will not be effective in reducing the symptoms of anxiety and depression from the start.
This may well have been what happened in my son’s case.
In lesson 3: Neurotransmitters I address the probable effect of prescription drugs on the reduction of neurotransmitter levels in the brain.
The MAOI drugs Nardil and Parnate carry a risk of hypertensive crisis, stroke or even death if common foods or beverages containing tyramine are unintentionally consumed.
Benzodiazepine drugs, plus certain other types of tranquilizers can be habit-forming if taken over a long time or in high doses.
Finally, the mood stabilizer lithium carbonate can produce toxic reactions unless it is very carefully monitored.
Lithium Carbonate appears to be a mood stabilizer of choice for people suffering from bipolar disorder (manic depression), however it appears to have a negative effect on the thyroid, so Synthroid is commonly prescribed to offset the negative effects of Lithium Carbonate on the thyroid.
If you have been prescribed Lithium Carbonate for bipolar disorder it is essential that blood tests be conducted every 6 months to make sure the Lithium Carbonate has not reached a toxic level.
Relapse after the end of treatment is likely if only drugs have been used as a treatment method for anxiety disorders.
This is believed to be because drugs, unlike CBT, do not encourage the development of valuable coping and emotional management skills.

Questions that are being raised about antidepressant drugs

In addition, a number of questions have been raised about antidepressant drugs — which are increasingly being prescribed for anxiety conditions.
• Whether widespread beliefs about their effectiveness are scientifically proven.
• The side effects and withdrawal symptoms they can produce.
• Their use with children.
• Their safety, especially when used in combination with other psychoactive drugs.
• The theories about depression that support their use.

A Word Of Caution: If you are presently on an antidepressant please do not come off of it without consulting your doctor first. You may very well need it.
Also antidepressant drugs must be tapered off very slowly or serious withdrawal side effects may result.
For those of you using Truehope’s Empowerplus I urge you to follow their suggestions closely.
There is also valuable information on Truehope’s message board from other people’s experience in tapering off of their medication.
I am convinced that Dr. Richards is correct in his belief that anxiety disorders are basically a learned behavior and can be unlearned using CBT. My son is living proof of that, so I have a strong suspicion that a reason that the so-called wonder drugs are prescribed instead of recommending CBT, is that there is a lot more money in treating the symptoms of anxiety disorders, than getting to the real root of the problem, which is reprogramming the brain to think more rational and positive.

Just a thought to ponder!!
This ends lesson 2. As mentioned at the beginning of this lesson I would strongly recommend that you reread this lesson at least three times in slow talk to get the most benefit from it.

CallMeCrazy

09-26-2007, 12:05 AM

Thanks PTNCUD! I'm looking forward to the rest of them!

ptncud

09-26-2007, 07:46 PM

Lesson 3: Neurotransmitters

Although this is a CBT course I am adding this information to explain how the neurotransmitters in the brain function, and how antidepressant medications operate to dull the symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Below is a condensation of several articles from the NeuroResearch website.

Neurotransmitters are naturally occurring chemicals in human beings and animals. They relay electrical messages between nerve cells known as “neurons”.

CAUSES OF TRANSMITTER DYSFUNCTION

Patients with neurotransmitter illnesses are suffering from low levels of serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine neurotransmitters.

Three major causes of neurotransmitter dysfunction are: nutritional deficiency, many prescription drugs and neurotoxicity.

NUTRITIONAL DEFICIENCY

In the foods that we eat there are four basic components: vitamins, minerals, amino acids and calories. Our body uses amino acids, minerals and vitamins to produce neurotransmitters.

Based on our experience in patient care we firmly believe that the number one cause of neurotransmitter dysfunction in patients is long-term dietary deficiency.

DRUG DEPLETION

Drugs like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa, Effexor, Trazodone, Sinequan, Serzone, Meridia, Phendimetrazin, Phentermine, Phenylpropanolamine, Tenuate, Mazindol, Fenfluramine, D-fenfluramine, Amphetamines, Ritalin, Ephedra, Caffeine, Nicotine, Imitrex, Zomig, Maxalt, Amerge, Nortryptyline and Thioridazine, and others cause depletion of neurotransmitters in many people.

Neurotransmitters are the chemicals in the nervous system that relay and modulate electrical impulses between nerve cells known as “neurons.” There are literally thousands of neurons in the brain carrying electrical impulses.

Neurotransmitters are excreted into the synapse (the space between the pre-
synaptic neuron and the post-synaptic neuron), in response to electrical stimulation in the brain, such as a thought, hand movement, etc.

Low levels of neurotransmitters in the synapse will cause ineffective firing of the
post-synaptic neuron.

Neurotransmitters are built in the body from amino acids with the assistance of vitamins and minerals known as “cofactors”.

If the body does not obtain enough amino acids, vitamins and minerals from the food we eat it can’t build sufficient neurotransmitters in the brain, a neurotransmitter deficiency illness, like depression and anxiety can result.

Patients with neurotransmitter illness are suffering from low levels of the serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine neurotransmitters.

Why do drugs like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa, Effexor, and others cause depletion of neurotransmitters in many people?

It should be noted that neurotransmitters are stored in the pre-synaptic neuron and as long as they are there they are safe from depletion.

SSRI and SSNRI drugs prevent the neurotransmitters from returning to the safety of the "store".

If the brain does not reproduce enough neurotransmitters from the food eaten, the SSRI and SSNRI drugs can further deplete transmitter levels, until the drugs stop working.

When a patient is put on these drugs they block neurotransmitter reuptake, thus not letting neurotransmitters back into the pre-synaptic neuron, and the synaptic level of neurotransmitters will rise.

This tricks the brain into thinking there is more neurotransmitters in the brain than there actually are, and the brain starts functioning normally.

But the real fact is that the drug has not created any additional molecules of neurotransmitters in the brain, it has worked by merely moving neurotransmitters into the synapse.

So now the neurotransmitter molecules are subjected to being outside the pre-synaptic neuron on a much longer basis.

The longer the molecules are outside the safety of the pre-synaptic neuron, the more likely they are to come in contact with the enzyme system that breaks down neurotransmitters.

While making the symptoms better, drugs can actually make the problem worse.

When drugs deplete transmitters further, in the depleted brain, the drugs can quit working altogether, and the symptoms of illness returns.

If transmitter levels are too low at the start of treatment the drugs will not work from the start.

Another common factor is the reduction of the neurotransmitter levels in the brain from many years of anxiety, fear and depression.

NOTE: I would believe this is what happened in my son’s case, because he suffered severely from generalized anxiety disorder and agoraphobia for over 40 years.

NEUROTOXICITY

A prototype drug for inducing neurotoxicity is amphetamine. In the 1960’s and early 1970’s, doctors prescribed amphetamines to patients for weight lose.

Other common elements that cause neurotransmitter depletion are; paint and other chemical fumes, tobacco, frequent use of barbiturates, frequent use of recreation drugs, and excessive exposure to fluorescent lighting.

Note: This concludes the condensation of these articles

It has been my experience that psychiatrists, psychologists and general practitioners in general have very little knowledge about diet, and the possible need for food supplementation.

It would seem to me that at this point in time, each one is working independently to protect their self-interests, instead of working together as a team to share their resources, knowledge and expertise to solve mental health problems.

In this fast-paced hectic society we live in, fast foods, which are loaded with empty calories and have little food value, are used more and more, and breakfast the most important meal of the day to control the blood sugar level is often not eaten. Changing this one bad habit could one of the simplest, yet most beneficial life-style changes you could make.

Having your big meal in the middle of the day helps to keep your blood sugar level at a more constant level, but if this is not possible try eating several small meals during the day.

Unbalanced levels of blood sugar content are never good for your physical health, but they also have a very negative effect on the mood of people who suffer from anxiety and depression, in particular.
I am not anti-drug, but evidence would seem to point to the fact that if anxiety disorders are a “learned behavior” as Dr. Richards says, then their “need” or “effectiveness” must be questioned, for people who only suffer from an anxiety disorder, except as a crutch until CBT strategies and coping skills are developed.

IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT ON TRUEHOPE”S FOOD SUPPLEMENT!!!

In my son’s case, I believe his 40 years of agony and fear caused his neurotransmitter levels to be low and out of balance, and therefore he required Empowerplus for a short period of time to bring his neurotransmitter levels up and into balance.
This was the final step in my son’s full recovery from his world of fear and depression.

There is a belief that “you are what you eat” so this may well be true, as many of our modern foods tend to very low in nutritional value, and psychological illnesses are on the rise, despite the fact that billions of dollars have been spent by international drug cartels in the last fifty years to treat psychological illnesses.

It is my belief that Truehope’s food supplement and their support system is the greatest advancement in the treatment of mental illness that I have seen in the last fifty years.

Rather than simply working on the symptoms of the illness they are actually getting to the root cause of the problem, which is nutritional deficiency.

For those of you who have taken my CBT course previously, and are not using Truehope’s food supplement Empowerplus I would urge you to visit Truehope’s website.

Here is the website address: http://www.truehope.com/

People who suffer from mental illness do not appear to be able to metabolize the vitamins and minerals from the food they eat very well, and therefore food supplementation becomes a must for them, even if they are eating a well balanced diet.

The fact that we live in a fast-paced, fast food society of high calorie low nutritional value foods just adds to the problem, so food supplementation is even more critical than ever, if the diet is mostly fast food.

In studying psychological illnesses, and their treatment for over eight years, and dealing with mental health issues for over 45 years I have come to the conclusion that governments, drug companies, family doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists have tunnel vision, and only look at solving psychological illnesses from their very narrow prospective.

“I think it’s about time they start working together to solve mental health problems; in fact I think it’s way past due.”

This concludes Lesson 3. I would urge you to reread this lesson at least three times in slow talk to help you fully understand and digest the information.

Lesson 4 is a three-part lesson called: “Understanding Control and Change”.

Much of the information in this fourth lesson was condensed from a booklet developed by an anxiety support group in Britain.

I believe the information contained in lesson 4 summarizes the entire course.

boobearlove

09-26-2007, 07:48 PM

Ptncud:
thanks for all the info so far...

ptncud

09-27-2007, 07:25 PM

Thanks Pamela but all credit goes to Pat who originally wrote these out. I found this course on another forum about 4 months ago and with his permission decided to bring it to other forums.
I'll add your address so if you don't start gettin the lessons let me know.
Take care, John

CallMeCrazy

09-28-2007, 11:30 PM

Are you going to post them all here or do they have to be emailed?

ptncud

09-29-2007, 02:37 AM

Hey CallMeCrazy, yea im going to post them all here as i hope others will see it and give it a try. If you want me to add your email it'd be no problem as i have a list going. But otherwise you should be able to see them here, let me know if i ever skip one

ptncud

09-29-2007, 02:39 AM

I don't always reread these posts after i post them so let me know if anything seems fishy about them. Ive had problems before with forums where some stuff will get cut out.
Also if your getting these email could you let me know if your receiving them.
Thanks, John

Lesson 4, Part 1: Understanding Control And Change

I have used key information contained in a booklet that I purchased as the basis of this lesson.

An Anxiety Support Group in Britain produced this booklet.

I would encourage you to spend some time visiting their website.

There is an enormous amount of excellent information to be found on this website.

The website address is: http://www.help-for.com/

My son found it in looking for information about generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and asked me to purchase the booklet.

The information on the website and the booklet put the finishing touches on helping Dave understand his disorder.

Even though it is only a small 23-page booklet, the information contained in it was extremely helpful for my son to better understand his generalized anxiety disorder than anything else he had read.

I was so impressed that I decided to summarize the booklet information and make it part of my CBT course.

I have added information from Dr. Richards course, and my observations as a supportive father as well.

I have deliberately set up this three-part lesson to be read in slow talk.

As mentioned before Dr. Richards claims that “slow talk” is one of the key strategies that must to be mastered, to be able to overcome anxiety and depression permanently.

Slow talk is slowing down the speed of your speaking slightly below your normal speed.

The reading should be done out loud.

According to Dr. Richards it is at least three times more effective than reading the material silently, because you are using all of your senses.

As I edited this lesson, I read it out loud to myself to make sure that it is easy to read in slow talk.

I have deliberately put in additional commas to slow down your reading speed to emphasis certain points.

I have also used color change to emphasize key words and concepts.

Read and reread the lessons over and over again until the information is firmly entrenched into your subconscious brain.

This is not a speed-reading course, nor is there a test at the end. It will take persistent and consistent practice, at your own pace, to get the most out of the course. It takes time and patience to fully understand this new information. It can’t be forced into the brain.

So please be patient with yourself.

I would encourage you to continue practicing your slow talk on this three-part lesson.

It will do two things.

It will get you used to using slow talk so it becomes automatic.

Secondly it will help you understand the information better.

NOTE: Events that are emotionally charged whether positive or negative in nature are seldom forgotten.

Things like your wedding, being raped, or a bad traffic accident, are not forgotten, so use this fact to your advantage and put lots of emotion into your voice to drive the information into the emotional part of the brain, where it is not easily forgotten.

It should to be practiced in the safety of your home, until it becomes automatic.

You may have noticed that the more anxious you get, the faster you talk.

Slow talk prevents you from speeding up, thus it keeps the adrenaline and cortical levels in check, during stressful social situations.

Once you have mastered its use, you will find it very useful in real-world anxiety-ridden situations for this reason.

Dr. Richards has found an added bonus in that people take you far more seriously, as well.

Great leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Sir Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King are typical examples of great leaders that used the power of slow talk to get their messages across. As you recall they talked slowly and put lots of timbre into their voice to drive their messages deeply into the emotional part of their listener's brain, where it could not be easily forgotten.

Below is the condensation of the information contained in the booklet.

Experiences in our early lives can cause us to feel not good enough or bad, and this often starts the cycle of fear, anxiety and confusion.

This is due to the false information, and mixed messages we receive from our parents, teachers, church ministers, friends, extended family members, classmates, or any other role model we look up to for our safety and guidance.

People who suffer from an anxiety disorder or depression protect themselves by trying to control their environment. As a result they become perfectionists.

They must be perfect in every way. This leads to needing constant alertness and checking in case they don’t measure up.

Perfectionists need constant alertness, checking and comparing, and if they fail to meet these standards the consequences are frightening.

To protect themselves they set standards for themselves that are unrealistic.

As a result they become overwhelmed by a collection of fears, pressures, worries, feelings of panic, stress, and doubts that cause them to be afraid.

These feelings can arise at any time in our lives, but those associated with our role models during puberty are the most potent.

Maintaining standards of perfection with which to compare ourselves, and berating ourselves if we don’t meet them leads to constant self-monitoring self-conscious stress, and ultimately to a state of constant anxiousness.

This is typical of people suffering from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). The fear and anxiety is constant and never ending. It may subside for brief periods for a day or two, just to return full force again and again.

This was my son Dave’s experience since childhood.

In fearful phobic social situations we do not believe that we really will be attacked physically, the main fear is that we are not good enough or are bad, and that this ‘flaw’ will be exposed and we will be embarrassed and rejected!

The fears associated with anxiety, phobias, OCD and depression are real.

They are there for a reason and they can be overcome.

An important element in these fears is feelings associated with lack of control.

Control

It lies deep within us, the need to be in control of our environment. It must. Our survival depends on it.

Any situation that we cannot understand or control has the potential to cause us harm, and as such is fearful.

Children repeating a task over and over again in order to master it, display this need for control.

Adults will even try to control the uncontrollable by using such things as lucky numbers, lucky charms, etc.

One effect of a need for control can be seen in ‘thinking too much’.

Most people with anxiety disorders agree that they tend to think too much about things … but why?

They are constantly going back over things to attempt to find out why they feel as they do, why they behave as they do, and why these things are happening to them.

These are essentially attempts to understand and master the problem.

When they cannot find answers to a problem (not surprising since much of the time they seek answers to things that don’t actually exist) they use other means to achieve a sense of control.

They control the fear of being rejected by attempting to prevent people from finding out their flaws.

This ultimately leads to feeling that they need to be perfect. This is really not possible and this approach is domed to failure, but they don’t realize it.

Every living organism has an innate need to be in control of its environment.

Anything that can’t be controlled will always be a treat since it is unpredictable.

The belief that fear, anxiety and panic are due to forces that we have little understanding, and even less control of, add to their strength.

The apprehension of losing control can play a large part in avoiding situations that cause anxiety.

To regain their sense of control, people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) often exhibit high levels of tidiness, orderliness and planning.

Good qualities if not taken to extreme.

The ability to look for reasons, find answers and draw conclusions requires a high level of intelligence.

It is interesting to note that people with anxiety disorders generally have higher than average intelligence, yet they are quite often unable to tap into this ability due their racing negative over-thinking.

The racing thoughts associated with an anxiety disorder that prevents the person from concentrating, often convinces them that they are stupid when in fact they are actually very intelligent.

This is what happened to my son Dave. As a result he was sure he was “stupid” and incapable of learning, because his extreme anxiety prevented him from concentrating. In his case it probably started at age five or less.

Unfortunately, it is these attempts to master problems that keep problems alive, by over-thinking.

Can we use our belief of this need for control to our benefit?

The answer is YES.

Virtually everything we do in our lives we have learned.

Some reflexes, behaviors, predispositions and aptitudes may result from evolution, but even these can be modified and developed by learning.

Learning involves changes in the brain and nervous system by gradual automation.

Experiences shape patterns of neural connections within our brain, and in doing so change how we think.

Repetition of the learning, and regular usage leads to the connections occurring more frequently and becoming stronger.

That is the stronger the learning the more it becomes automatic, and part of who we are.

If we simply learn the seven colors and make no associations, the knowledge will not remain in our memory for very long, but if we associate each color with something familiar the more likely we are to remember them.

It is not surprising that anxiety problems involving learning associated with; feelings, emotions, confirmations, reasoning, comparisons, evidence and expectations do strongly shape our brain and nervous system.

They shape our thoughts feelings and behavior, and do become part of us.

This is why the more traumatic (emotionally charged) the event the more likely we will remember it. This is why traumatic events are so difficult to get over. The event has sunk deeply into the emotional part of the brain.

However, this part of us is not an inborn quality (we are not born with low self-confidence and phobias) it develops from learning and conclusions drawn about the evidence in our experiences.

The good news is that the evidence we used was based on false perceptions and beliefs, and we can build on what we have learned to develop new positive rational associations and behaviors using CBT.

Gradual Automation

Behaviors and thought processes that are repeated over and over again gradually become automatic, that is they can be performed without thinking.

Again related to survival, this has to be the case: things that we do regularly become automatic.

Imagine having to learn from scratch how to drive a car every time you wanted to use it, how to ride a bike, how to swim, tie a shoe lace, etc. These tasks are automatic and are performed without thinking.

This process not only applies to behaviors, but also to thoughts and memories.

Anyone who has studied for a test will have experienced forgetting a section of information that was learnt until they remember the first few words, and then the rest comes flowing back automatically.

This process is seen in habit behaviors. When started the habit is continued, even though any initial rewards or good feelings associated with the habit may no longer exist.

It is particularly true in many aspects of anxiety disorders where once the initial image of “failing” in a situation occurs, all the associated feelings, emotions and behaviors come flooding back.

In avoidance behavior the initial mental image of facing the situation can lead to memories of “past failures”, expectation of impending failure, feelings of anticipated shame and rejection, feelings of being not being good enough or bad, and all the physiological signs of anxiety; such as increased heart rate, shaking, dizziness, etc.

These thoughts, emotions and behaviors occur, repeat, interact and strengthen to such a degree that the resultant panic can cause us to avoid the situation in order to obtain relief.

This understanding of learning shows us how it is possible to change.

To change we need to reduce the strength of previously learned thoughts and behaviors, and learn new ones.

That is we must weaken the strength of the connections in the brain associated with low self-confidence and anxiety, and develop and strengthen new connections associated with more positive rational beliefs.

But can connections in the brain be weakened?

Consider the following examples:

Top golfers, snooker and dart players practice their skills relentlessly for many hours every day. This along with some natural ability can keep them at the top of their performance level.

But what happens if they do not continue to practice? Memories, if not recalled fade with time, and their level of performance will decline.

Connections in the brain will weaken by not using them. If we don’t think those thoughts and don’t do those behaviors they will gradually weaken and fade.

Of course that is easier said than done.

People with feelings of low self-worth can be likened to those top class sportsmen, continually strengthening the connections by daily practice.

People with anxiety disorders strengthen those connections hundreds of time a day with negative self-talk of many years. In doing so they are continually reinforcing all those connections associated with the anxiety.

The paradox with anxiety-related problems and why they are so hard to overcome, is in trying to find an answer to our problem, we make the problem worse.

This is a three-part lesson. I have ended part one here to prevent information overload.

The concepts above must be understood. Please reread the above material until it is understood and firmly entrenched in your mind.
Pay particular attention the words and phrases highlighted in red.

ptncud

10-02-2007, 03:18 AM

Lesson 4, Part 2: Understanding Control And Change

How Do We Stop Thinking Too Much?

One aspect of “thinking too much”, involves the continuous search for reasons and answers, but there is another.

All our actions are formed in thought, before we do anything we must think about it.

Note: It is also possible to stop thinking about things that concern us.

Thinking is good if you are thinking positive thoughts.

But if you are dwelling on the past and dreading the future, this is counter-productive and will slow your healing process.

Confident people when asked about a speech they must make say “ I’m trying not to think about it, otherwise I will get nervous.”

The difference between confident people and non-confident people, lies in the strength of their negative thoughts and perceptions of “failure”.

Failure to a confident person may mean some embarrassment for giving a poor speech, whereas low self-worth people, believe it shows it is “a public disclosure of their weaknesses”, which confirms the belief that they are worthless, and adds to their feelings of rejection.

Conclusions drawn from life experiences of failure are seen as a much greater threat, to non-confident people.

The key to holding one’s nerve is the same for everyone, but the ability to switch off the negative frightening thoughts is different for the confident person, than the non-confident person.

It is harder, takes longer, and requires more practice to develop this ability when we have low self-confidence.

My son has a friend who says, “If I have not made a mistake today it’s been a poor day, because I didn’t learn anything.”

This is the thought of a truly confident person.

My son on the other hand feared doing anything new for years, because he just knew he was going to make a mistake, and that just added to his belief that he was "stupid", and therefore incapable of learning.

My son just made a serious mistake recently because he was acting on inaccurate information given to him by a trusted friend, who in turn was acting on inaccurate information given to him. Dave learned several important lessons in making this mistake.

He learned that a mistake is simply a mistake, and everyone makes mistakes when they are learning something new, but it does not mean he is incapable of learning. He was simply a victim of circumstance. He said to himself. “What did I learn from the mistake that will be of benefit to me in the future, not what a stupid fool I was. I was simply setup. I was simply an innocent victim of circumstances beyond my control.”

Note: Now that my son’s self-confidence is building he knows that he is NOT stupid, and is not fearful of making a mistake, as he sees it as part of the normal learning process.

He learned WHAT NOT TO DO in this given situation, and he also learned that he is far stronger than he realized, and if he could overcome this mistake he can handle any future situation like this.

He also said that there is one thing that can’t be taken away from me, and that is my knowledge, and the more knowledge I have the more power I have over my destiny.

Note: As a perfectionist he has learned to lower his expectations, not only about his capabilities, but of others as well.

He now tells himself, “If I don’t lose my cellular phone, don’t lose my wallet, and my partner and I don’t get fired it is a good day. Anything above that is gravy.”

He says by putting things into this prospective he is rarely disappointed, and even if he does not get home with his phone as long as he knows where it is, and that it is in a safe place, it is still a good day.

Note: This may sound corny and foolish, but there is a lot of wisdom in taking this approach, if you are a projectionist.

Two ways to stop thinking too much are acceptance and distraction.

Acceptance

Acceptance comes from knowledge and insight.

When we have found the answers we seek there is no need to keep looking.

Acceptance is in itself is not a cure, but it allows us to stop making the problem worse, and start learning to behave differently.

Acceptance can be effective in weakening the connections associated with constantly going over the problem looking for answers.

If we have no control over a situation, accept this fact, if we have control take action to solve the problem, then you can stop thinking about it.

Distractions

Our brain is incredibly complex but for all this complexity, there is an ability we don’t possess. That is the ability to pay attention to more than one thing at a time.

We can use this inability to our advantage as a distraction.

A distraction requires our attention, so a distraction can take the focus off of a self-defeating negative thought.

According to Dr. Richards, a psychologist that specializes in treating people who have anxiety disorders, singing uses a different part of the brain than thinking, so it is an excellent distraction for most people.

If you are in a situation where you can’t sing, humming your favorite tune is also effective.

Use anything that works to distract your thoughts.

This will be covered in more detail later in the course.

Mind and Body

Our mind and body are so interlinked, that in some ways it is difficult to distinguish between them.

Thoughts generate feelings and feelings generate thoughts.

If we are good to our mind, our body feels good, and if we are not good to our mind our body feels bad.

Similarly treating our body badly hurts our mind, just as treating it well can promote a sense of well-being.

Nowhere is this interplay between mind and body seen so convincingly, as in a person with feelings of low self-esteem.

Bodily sensations such as tension aches and pains, (whatever their actual cause) can become associated with thoughts confirming worthlessness, leading to an increase in the sensations, which further increase the confirming thoughts, which further increases the sensations, and the vicious cycle is set up.

Note: It is not surprising that people can spend virtually all day thinking and feeling bad!

Whether a mental or physical problem is the origin, the key to change lies in weakening existing associations, and developing new rational ones.

Weakening Existing Connections

When feeling bad physically (tense, shaky, aches, etc.)

Accept recent situational or environmental reasons: feeling tired after late night, an argument with someone, financial worries, cold weather, fitful sleep, and physical health problems, etc.

Accept that the feelings may also be due to how other people treated you in the past.

How you interpreted their statements and behavior, how you developed ways to protect yourself are also key factors.

In this case accept that you may feel not good enough, because of your warped perception of reality, and not some “inherent flaw in you”.

When thinking too much:

Accept that you are looking for ways of “not being bad” that it is based on misinterpretations, you are not actually bad, it’s just the way you have made yourself feel with your negative false interpretations.

When you are thinking negative thoughts or images:

Distract your thought process by thinking about something else that requires attention.

Not negative repetitions, but something positive that you have to concentrate on.

Acceptance can be helped by saying out-loud (or under your breathe) “I’m Feeling A Bit Bad At The Moment Because ……..”

Note: Accept the present moment, then occupy your mind by doing something to distract yourself.

Distractions stop the association between negative thoughts and feelings.

In this way we stop strengthening the connections.

What about making fully positive statements at this time?

The brain will only accept what it believes to be rational, so go neutral instead by adding words like “maybe, might and possibly” to your sentences at this time.

“Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.”

“Possibly this will work out this time.”

“I might not be quite as anxious tomorrow.”

It is better to let the existing thoughts and beliefs become weaker before we attempt to go fully positive, because the brain will not accept them as being rational yet.

As the negative associations become weaker the brain will start to accept fully positive thoughts as being rational.

Note: However, it is good idea to question some of your existing beliefs.

New positive thoughts and beliefs will develop unconsciously (hence stronger), as you begin to weaken existing negative thoughts, you will start to reprogram your brain with rational positive thoughts.

Remember feelings of low self-worth, chronic worrying anxiety and depression are not innate feelings.

They are ways you learned to behave through real life experiences.

Note: You have practiced being negative every day for many years with your self-talk.

Much of what you believe has been based on false perceptions that started in childhood, and still haunt you to this day.

You must question your core beliefs and perceptions, to see if they are actually true or not.

Note: You in fact like the pro-golfer who hones his skills daily through practice, have been mastering self-defeating behavior.

How you say? With your constant repetitive negative self-talk over countless years.

According to Dr. Richards the best way to overcome your anxiety and fear is to reverse the process, by telling yourself the truth, through the use of constant and persistent repetition of the truth.

Note: It took years to get where you are, it will take time and patience to unlearn these false perceptions and replace them with the rational truth.

Note: I have highlighted key concepts and strategies in red to help you zero in on them. Repeat them to yourself in slow talk at least three times, or more until you understand their significance.

ptncud

10-04-2007, 02:07 AM

Lesson 4, Part 3: Understanding Control And Change

This lesson will give you another opportunity to practice your slow talk in the safety of your home.

Eventually you want to be able to shift into slow talk automatically as the need arises.

Remember to put lots of emotion into your voice, which tells your brain to pay attention.

Why?

A traumatic experience is never forgotten, because of the tremendous emotion we associate with it.

So using the same principle, if you put emotion into your voice, it helps you to remember the information better.

By using emotion, combined with persistent and consistent practice, information stored in the brain can be automatically retrieved, when required.

This is turning your inability to forget things having a lot of negative emotion associated with them into a useful tool.

This explains why CBT is so effective, in changing unwanted beliefs into true rational beliefs.

The importance of treating the physical body well

As described in part two, your physical symptoms can quickly become associated with feelings of low self-esteem, and self-worth.

This can lead to a vicious cycle of: feelings-thoughts-feelings-thoughts, and so on.

We know that when we feel badly, are tense, unfit, eating poorly, and not sleeping well it often leads to negative thinking.

If we change our behavior regarding relaxation, exercise, diet, and sleep for the better, we can influence our nervous system in a very positive way.

Relaxation

People who suffer from anxiety disorders and depression often live their lives in a state of constant awareness, confirming and comparing, as a precaution against their “flaws” being discovered.

This heightened arousal of the nervous system is tension.

Relaxation is the opposite of tension.

A muscle that is relaxed can’t be tense.

So we can reduce tension by learning to relax.

Learning to relax is an important tool in gaining control of our emotions.

A tense body is always making associations with anxiety, thus starting the ball rolling toward panic if not controlled.

We may feel that we can’t relax, but it is not that we can’t.

It’s just that it is very difficult, given that we have learnt so strongly over the years to be tense.

Deep breathing corrects the oxygen-carbon dioxide balance in the body and promotes a feeling of calmness.

Try this:

Take a deep breath in through your nose for a slow count of four.

Hold it for a slow count of four.

Breathe out through your mouth for a slow count of four.

Repeat three or four times (no more).

With practice this should make you feel more relaxed.

This shows how we can take control of our body and make it relax.

The most widely used method of muscle relaxation is the PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION technique.

If you go to the search engine “Goggle” and type in:

“PROGRESSIVE muscle relaxation + Jacobson”, you will find several websites describing this method.

You need to find a method or methods of relaxation that works for you, then practice, practice, practice and practice some more, until relaxing becomes automatic.

Relaxing the mind relaxes the body.

(This will be covered in more detail throughout the course.)

Conversely relaxing the body relaxes the mind.

Exercise

Exercise helps keep our body in good shape. As well as strengthening the muscles, it can improve circulation and lower blood pressure.

It puts stress and strain on the body, and as a result the body produces stress-relieving chemicals.

These chemicals act on the nervous system, and help promote feelings of relaxation and well-being.

Like relaxation, exercise is a way that we can physically make our nervous system work more positively for us.

Generally speaking:

Do something you enjoy

Start slowly – don’t overdo it

Do it regularly 3 or 4 times a week (10 – 60 minutes)

Don’t focus on the aches and pains, think how good you will feel afterwards.

NOTE:

CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR, IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR FITNESS TO DO EXERCISES.

My guess is he or she will say, “go for it, it is needed.”

Diet

As with relaxation and exercise, a good diet will promote, not only good physical health, but also good mental health as well.

Hi everyone,

I would like to draw your attention to the following website:

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200 ... 0501.jhtml (http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200605/tows_past_20060501.jhtml)

I believe this is a MUST SEE website about the importance of reading the nutrient labels on the foods you purchase.

The information contained on this website is vital information you will require to be able to live a longer and healthier life. In fact it could well save your life.

I see it as absolutely critical information that everyone needs to know before going grocery shopping.

Please take the time to read it now, before you proceed with the remainder of this lesson.

Note: A blood sugar level that is not constant can result in depression and anxiety.

Unfortunately many people skip breakfast, when in fact it is the most important meal of the day for everyone, and especially for people suffering from anxiety and depression.

In this fast-paced western society we live in, breakfast often consists of a quick cup of coffee and a cigarette. This is a recipe for disaster.

Your blood sugar level is the most out of balance in the morning, due the fact that you have not eaten since the previous early evening meal.

To keep your blood sugar level as constant as possible you should eat at least three meals a day, with the largest meal being in the middle of the day, if possible.

Eating a good breakfast followed by the largest meal in the middle of the day, and a smaller meal in the evening is the most ideal plan for keeping your blood sugar level in balance.

The closer you can follow this plan the better.

For many this may not be possible, but remember missing breakfast is a definite no-no, and is a bad habit that must be broken.

Another recommended plan is to eat five small meals a day, starting with a good breakfast.

Health Food Products, Vitamins and Minerals

The following are suggestions, which we as a family have found to be very helpful. Unfortunately most doctors fail to mention them.

Because many of the foods today lack essential nutrients and vitamins for good health, a multi-vitamin should be considered as a minimum.

As the wife and I suffer from arthritis, two glucosmine and chondroitin sulfate, in capsule form, each day does repair minor cartilage damage, and reduce or eliminate pain. NOTE: We have found that the hard pill variety do not seem to be as effective, because they are more difficult for the body to digest.

As my wife is susceptible to kidney infections, a glass of cranberry juice a day works wonders, as cranberries are a natural anti-infection agent.

Pat

Sleep

Lack of sleep will affect our ability to withstand stress, so you will feel better after a good night’s sleep.

Don’t

(Just before bedtime)

Drink alcohol or caffeine.

Eat heavily as this causes the digestive system to be active during sleep.

Watch a horror movie.

Perform heavy exercise or brainwork.

Rush around.

Do

Slow down an hour before going to bed.

Try to relax by engaging in soothing activities such as a warm bath, light reading, and soft music.

Go to bed around the same time and get up about the same time.

Ensure the bedroom is at a comfortable temperature

Practice

This is essential to success.

Persistently and consistently practice the strategies and coping skills you will learn.

Distract negative thoughts.

.

Observe and relax tense muscles.

Do regular exercise.

Eat healthy food.

Sleeping well.

Note: What we are doing is practicing a more positive way of living.

It can’t directly help any socioeconomic, or relationship problems that may exist, but it will lay the foundation, for taking control of your life.

Relaxation, exercise, diet, and sleep are ways in which we can take practical action to behave more positively, and in doing so benefit both body and mind.

Setbacks Are Inevitable

Setbacks are inevitable, when we try to weaken strongly learned beliefs, they can actually help us learn. We must accept them for what they are, and see them as a positive to further motivate us to succeed.

What we are doing is very difficult.

It will take many attempts to achieve success.

Nothing worth achieving is easy.

At times you will feel anxious and tense.

These feelings are unpleasant, but normal.

Viewing them positively will give you the opportunity to practice accepting, distracting, and relaxing.

Successful people are the ones that keep trying in the face of adversity.

The key to success is perseverance.

Whether your attempts succeed or fail, learn from your attempts and keep trying.

Eventually the successes will outnumber the failures.

When this happens your self-confidence will increase drastically.

You Can Do It

As stressed in this lesson the process is slow and it requires a great deal of effort.

Behaviors developed over a number of years can’t be changed overnight.

But they can change through practice and perseverance.

Regarding facing fearful situations start at the least fearful.

Only move to the next level when you are confident that you can handle the situation.

View it as the same process as someone approaching the ocean for the first time.

First they let the water cover their feet, then when they feel more confident they move deeper up to the knees. As their confidence grows they move up to the waist, and so on.

At difficult times reread this lesson in slow-talk to let the information sink into the emotional part of the brain.

Think about other people in the course. They are in exactly the same position as you, trying to cope with their life experiences. Wish them strength and good luck. They in turn will wish you good luck.

Feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression are not in-born.

They are learned behaviors through life experiences.

Remember anything learned can be unlearned through persistent and consistent effort.

You can accept this fact and move on with your life.

It’s far from easy, but well worth it.

For a quick overview reread the sentences highlighted in red using slow-talk.

This concludes “Understanding Control and Change.”

ptncud

10-05-2007, 10:25 PM

Lesson 5 : Basic Facts About Panic Disorder

Hi everyone,

Here is some information on panic disorder, that I feel will be helpful to those of you who are suffering from it.

It should also give those of you who do not suffer from panic disorder, some insight into this very debilitating illness.

Much of this information was copied from Dr. Richards website:

http://www.anxietynetwork.com/

If you have not had a chance to visit his website I would urge you to do so. Spend some time browsing the site. It contains a great deal of information about anxiety disorders.

Dr. Richards also evaluates and describes a number of books that he sells both new and used from his website, along with information on the anxiety tape series that he produces.

In Lesson 4 I will be sending you specific information on strategies that you can use to help you prevent a panic attack from happening, and reduce it’s impact on you if a panic attack does occur.

You need to practice the strategies until they become automatic, so that when you are faced with a situation that has caused you to panic in the past, you will feel confident that you have control of the situation. In doing so, it greatly reduces the chances of a panic attack happening again.

Eventually you will be able to enter these situations without fear, because you will have developed these strategies to where you always feel in control.

In going to the "Freedom From Fear" support group meetings for anxiety in Calgary, I have seen people overcome panic disorder.

The leader of the group had overcome his panic disorder several years before, but kept coming back each year to lead the group, as well as encourage others to succeed. He was their "white rhino". Someone who had actually overcame panic disorder. Maybe he can be your “white rhino” as well.

If there is a support group in your area, I would encourage you to attend the meetings. If properly run they can be very helpful if they focus on strategies to overcome anxiety, and giving each other support.

If they are simply a pity party they will not likely be all that helpful.

Good luck,

Pat

Basic Facts on Panic Attacks

"I’m losing control....."

"I feel like I’m going crazy....."

"I must be having a heart attack....."

"I’m smothering and I can’t breathe....."

"It came upon me by surprise. I began to feel wave after wave of fear and my stomach gave out on me. I could hear my heart pounding so loudly I thought it would come out of my chest. Pains were shooting down my legs. I became so afraid I couldn’t catch my breath. What was happening to me? Was I having a heart attack? Was I dying?"

Panic attacks are very real, very awful, and emotionally debilitating. Many people who experience their first panic attack find themselves at hospital emergency rooms, or at doctors’ offices prepared to hear the very worst news possible about their health.

When they don’t hear that they’ve had a life-threatening condition (such as a heart attack), this news may actually increase their anxiety and frustration: “if I am physically OK, what happened to me? I experienced something so dreadful I can’t even explain it. So what’s happening to me?"

If a person with panic goes undiagnosed, they can bounce around from doctor to doctor for years on end without experiencing any relief. Instead, it becomes more and more frustrating to the panic sufferer as no one is able to pinpoint the problem and provide any kind of help.

Because the symptoms of panic are very real, the anxiety is so traumatizing, and the whole experience is new and strange, a panic attack is one of the worst experiences a person can have.

On top of the attack, there is always the nagging uncertainty, "When will this happen to me again?"

Some people become so frightened of having additional panic attacks, especially in public, that they withdraw to their "safe zones", usually their homes, and very rarely leave them. This condition is known as agoraphobia. Note that the person with agoraphobia does not enjoy having their life so restricted; it is a depressing and miserable existence. It is the fear of having further panic attacks that keeps them bound close to home.

Over four million Americans suffer from panic attacks, according to the National Institutes of Mental Health. That number is about 5% of the adult American population. Many researchers feel that even this number is a low estimate, because many people who experience panic attacks never receive the proper diagnosis and "live" with it, despite its horror and its constant terror.

What is a panic attack?

A panic attack can only be described as a comprehensive emotional nightmare. Some people with panic feel like they are in an escalating cycle of catastrophe and doom and that something bad is going to happen to them "right now this very moment."

Others feel as if they are having a heart attack as their heart races. The heart palpitations convince them that they are about to have an attack. Other people feel that they are going to "lose control" of themselves and will do something embarrassing in front of other people. Others breathe so quickly, gasping for air, that they hyperventilate and feel like they will suffocate from lack of oxygen.

Common symptoms of panic include; a racing or pounding heartbeat ,dizziness and lightheadedness, feeling that "I can’t catch my breath.”

Chest pains or a "heaviness" in the chest, flushes or chills, tingling in the hands, feet, legs, arms, jumpiness, trembling, twitching muscles, sweaty palms, flushed face, terror and a fear of losing control are experienced.

A fear of a stroke that will lead to disability, fear of dying, or a fear of going crazy are common.

A panic attack typically lasts several long minutes, and is one of the most distressing conditions a person can experience.

In some cases, panic attacks have been known to last for longer periods of time, or to recur very quickly over and over again.

The aftermath of a panic attack is very painful. Feelings of depression and helplessness are usually experienced.

The greatest fear is that the panic attack will come back again and again, making life too miserable to bear.

Panic is not necessarily brought on by a recognizable circumstance, and it may remain a mystery to the person involved.

These attacks come "out of the blue". At other times, excessive stress or other negative life conditions can trigger an attack.

Sadly, many people do not seek help for panic attacks, agoraphobia, and anxiety-related difficulties. This is especially tragic because panic and other anxiety disorders are treatable conditions that respond well to relatively short-term therapy.

The National Institutes of Mental Health is currently conducting a nationwide campaign to educate health care practitioners that panic and the other anxiety disorders are some of the most successfully treated psychological problems.

Note: Although this may be true I have seen very little evidence that this is happening, and if it is, doctors in general simply resort to dispensing the latest pill to arrive on the scene, rather than encourage their patients to look at CBT as the method to overcome their panic disorder, rather than pills to allow them to function in society.

Pat

Clinical research provides us with a solid blueprint of cognitive, emotional and behavioral methods that can help us overcome anxiety disorders, such as panic and/or agoraphobia.

Today, panic attacks and agoraphobia can be treated successfully in the vast majority of cases.

In fact, it is estimated that the appropriate therapy from a knowledgeable therapist helps over 90% of panic sufferers.

Note: The reality is that psychiatrists and general practitioners know very little about CBT, exercise and nutrition. Their training focuses on medication and little else.

Dr. Richards who experienced social anxiety first hand for over 20 years, admits that there is still a real lack of help for people suffering from anxiety disorders and depression throughout North America, and the world in general.

Pat

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a relatively new treatment for panic and agoraphobia that has been shown to be successful.

Instead of using old-fashioned analysis-based techniques, therapists employing new CBT methods focus on the present panic -- and how to eliminate it.

Thus, CBT has legitimately been called "how to" therapy. That is, the focus is on "how to" eliminate the thoughts and feelings that lead to the vicious cycle of panic and anxiety.

People who experience panic and agoraphobia, are not "crazy" and do not need to be in therapy for extended periods of time.

Sessions depend on the severity and length of the problem, and the willingness of the client to actively participate in treatment.

When a person with panic is motivated to practice and try new techniques, that person is literally changing the way their brain responds.

When you change the way your brain responds, anxiety and panic will continue to shrink and shrink and cease to cause you problems.

In Lesson 5 I will be sending you specific information on strategies that you can use to help you prevent a panic attack from happening, and reduce it’s impact on you if a panic attack does occur.

Daisy

10-06-2007, 10:20 AM

Hi ptncud I have been on holiday since you first put this post on the forum. I hope I am not to late to give my email address, I would love to start on CBT, here it is hoping I am in time, [email protected] Thanks Daisy

ptncud

10-08-2007, 12:44 AM

Lesson 6: Strategies To Overcome Panic Disorder

All anxiety disorders have one thing in common, which is a feeling of lack of control.

Losing control is the belief that a panic attack could happen again.

And the feelings when a panic attack does happen, generates fears associated with anxiety.

It involves the inability to control the negative thoughts, and the physical arousal that develops because of the “flight or fight” response.

Taking control is what we are learning to do by practicing acceptance, distraction of negative thoughts and relaxation.

To face situations successfully, we need to feel that we have some control.

They need to be faced in this manner – “yes, I feel scared, but I can control this”.

Before attempting to face previously avoided situations.

Practice acceptance, distraction, and relaxation for a number of weeks, until you feel some degree of control.

Grade your fearful situations from 1 to 5 (where 1 = mildly fearful, and 5 = very fearful).

Start with a number 1 situation, and gradually work up to number 5.

Move to the next level, only when you feel that you have mastered taking control at each level. (Taking control is feeling scared, but preventing panic)

Remember – courage is not the absence of fear, but a feeling of control in a tense situation.

It will take many attempts to master each level, but once that feeling of mastery develops things get a lot easier.

In a tense situation:

Distract your negative thoughts with something positive that requires your attention.

Breath deeply and slowly.

Relax your muscles, and remember you can’t be relaxed and tense at the same time.

Slow down.

All of these things you should have practiced many times on a daily basis, until they become automatic.

After the situation:

Congratulate yourself for having the courage to try.

Accept any success as due to your efforts.

Things don’t happen by chance you made them happen.

Accept setbacks because changing strongly learned behaviors is very difficult.

Bad habits are hard to break.

Do not associate them with innate faults because they are not.

Below is a typical real life example of a panic situation:

You are driving down the highway in heavy traffic at 65 miles per hour. There are three lanes of traffic and you are in the center lane. Although the speed limit is 65, cars pass you on both sides and are constantly jockeying for position. To get to the outside lane is tricky, and you notice that there are no rest stops to escape to should you panic.

When you are on the highway you actually have no control over other drivers. The only control you have is how you react to the situation. If you see a situation as being fearful, then that becomes your reality. Dr. Phil says there is no reality only perception. If you perceive this as being a very fearful situation with no escape, this becomes your reality.

The "fight or flight" response was built into us in caveman days as a defense mechanism, but most of what we fear today is not really life and death. But if we think a situation is life and death, it becomes our perception, and therefore our reality. The result is the flight or fight response kicks in, which causes the body to prepare for the worst.

The body is flooded with adrenaline and cortical in preparation for fight or flight, but there is nowhere to go, because you are in heavy traffic with no chance of escape, this may lead to a panic attack, if we do not have the tools to defend ourselves against it.

In caveman days there were saber tooth tigers roaming the earth. The “flight or fight” response was developed at that time for self-preservation. All of the bodily functions were geared up for this panic situation. The heart beats faster, the muscles tighten up, the digestion stops, etc. etc, and the caveman developed almost super human strength.

Although saber tooth tigers no longer roam the earth, the flight or fight response is still with us, to protect us in serious life threatening situations.

The problem is that if we believe we are in danger, such as in an elevator, in heavy traffic, giving a speech, etc., the flight or fight response can kick in, even though there is no real danger.

The body is flooded with the chemicals adrenaline and cortical to respond to the feared situation, just as if it were a real dangerous life-threatening situation.

In the case of driving down the highway you might turn on the radio to your favorite music station. Listening to a soft music is a good distraction.

You can also make a tape or CD of your favorite songs. Put it into your car stereo and sing along to the songs as you travel down the highway.

Dr Richards has found that singing uses another part of the brain than thinking does, thus this becomes an excellent distraction. Even if you do not know the words by heart, humming along to the song is also very effective.

A common problem while driving in heavy traffic is that your muscles tighten up. You may find that you are gripping the steering wheel far too tightly without realizing it. Your arms and shoulders tighten up, as well. When you feel this happening let out a deep breathe, and loosen the grip on the steering wheel, and let your whole body relax.

Planning a long road trip around rest periods were you can stop and take a leisurely stroll to admire the scenery, is a good distraction to lower adrenaline and cortical levels.

Below are some suggestions on how to lower the adrenaline and cortical in your body, and your anxiety level in general.

Exercise is the one of the better ways to lower your adrenaline and cortical levels. You might try exercising to music at home.

A daily exercise plan at the local fitness center is good, if you can afford it.

Going for a walk or a bike ride when practical, and take time to smell the roses along the way.

In going for a walk, particularly if you suffer from agoraphobia, you may only be able to go a block at first. You must give yourself credit for even this small step. Maybe tomorrow can go one and a half blocks. In time you will be able to go a mile or more. Please be patient with yourself, and give yourself credit for each small step forward.

Many people find deep breathing exercises helpful. This increases the oxygen level in the brain, and removes the excess carbon dioxide, which helps to reduce anxiety.

Try this in the safety of your home until it becomes automatic:

Take a deep breath, in through your nose, for a slow count of four.

Hold it, for a slow count of four.

Breathe out through your mouth, for a slow count of four.

Repeat three or four times (no more).

With practice, this should make you feel more relaxed.

This exercise also shows you how to take control of your body, and make it relax.

The more you think about having a panic attack the more likely you will have one, so I would suggest that you try to use a distraction to get your mind off your perceived fearful situation.

Because everyone is different and has different interests, it is important to find an activity that will take your mind completely off your anxiety.

As mentioned before one distraction that seems to work well for everyone is singing.

The idea here is to pick out some of your favorite music that has lyrics, and sing along with it to block out the unwanted negative thoughts. If the singing portion of your brain is more active, then the thinking portion of your brain is less active.

If you can't sing because you can't get away from other people, you can hum under your breath. Humming along to a song in your head keeps you in a more relaxed and peaceful state, and doesn't allow the automatic thinking to come in, and get you going again.

Regardless of which distractions you choose, it is important to find several that work for you.

You will not have to use distractions for the rest of your life. You only use distractions during therapy, to avoid dwelling on these perceived dangerous situations.

DISTRACTION SUGGESTIONS

I. Exercising

2. Listening to music

3. Reading a book

4. Swimming

5. Gardening

6. Surfing the Internet for a new and interesting topic

7. Talking to a positive upbeat friend

8. Watching a video tape - something funny. Laughter is always a good way to lower the stress level.

9. Walking around the block

10. Playing with or walking your pets

11. Going for a ride in the car

12. Sit down and de-stress yourself by practicing your slow talk. Read something positive and uplifting

13. An interest or hobby you enjoy

14. Singing or humming along to music

A distraction can be anything that works for you to temporarily get your mind off a perceived stressful situation that you can't avoid.

How To Use Desensitization Therapy Correctly

Many of the tasks we're working on in real life are things that we have found to be anxiety causing in the past (big surprise here!)

But now that we're actively working on doing these things, it is essential that we TURN AROUND our beliefs and thoughts, WHILE we are doing them.

Why ?

Because you can expose yourself to anxiety-causing situations over and over again - and it still never reduces the anxiety.

In fact, Dr. Richards was exposed daily to very large social fears that emotionally crippled him, and facing his fears only made things worse.

Why ?

Because he didn't face his fears in the appropriate way. He never knew how to do that, so he set himself up for defeat and failure.

For many years he thought if he met a big anxiety causing situation, stuck with it, and conquered it, he would overcome his anxiety. So, sometimes he tried this. You know what happened?

That big anxiety situation was too strong for him. It was too intense. There was too much anxiety for him to handle, and so he crashed and burned.

His feelings about himself plummeted. He became depressed, and he was surer than ever that he would never get over this dreadful traumatic anxiety.

By facing his fears in this way, he was handling the situation incorrectly, although he didn't know it at the time.

He should have been facing one small situation, learning to be successful at it, and then moving on to the next small situation. After a while, all the small situations in which he became successful turned into bigger situations, and his anxiety began to diminish.

The common element between all the anxiety disorders is a "feeling of lack of control".

Many of us are exposed to anxiety-causing situations every day of our lives.

It may be on the job, in an elevator, in heavy traffic, a social occasion, college classes, or some other necessary responsibility (things we usually can't avoid), but simply exposing ourselves to the fearful activity is not enough.

Exposure, by itself, done in the wrong way, means the anxiety NEVER goes away, even if we've perform the fearful activity every single day of our lives.

That explains why "facing your fears" or "flooding" yourself with fearful anxieties does not work for people who have anxiety.

We do need practice and use systematic exposure. And we do need to gradually work up to meeting our fears. But the biggest mistake we, and many times, therapists make, is to force a person to meet their fears before they are ready.

Everything we do in this series is leading toward overcoming anxiety.

The secret to this "face your fears" analogy is that you can only face one fear at a time, and it needs to be a small fear to start with.

We must always move up the pyramid slowly, and in a deliberate well-planned manner.

For example, if Dr. Richards didn’t feel he could introduce himself to a small group, he may have been ready to introduce himself to one new person, depending on the situation and circumstances.

By taking each new step slowly as it came along, and repeating it, he was working against his anxiety in a positive, permanent way.

Dr. Richards runs a private clinic in Arizona where he treats people with social anxiety on a regular basis.

He always tells his people during their first appointment, "Go ahead and avoid things for now."

Why ?

Because they are not ready for big anxiety steps. They need to get the cognitive strategies in their head, before they move out into the real world. And when they do move out into the world, it needs to be within boundaries of common sense.

To turn around those automatic negative thoughts you must always stay rational.

In case you're wondering, people do eventually face their fears until they feel successful and more confident with each one. As you feel successful and confident you want to move up the ladder to the next anxiety causing situation.

REMEMBER: Success builds upon success, it never builds on failure so be patient with yourself.

dinkyrowan

10-08-2007, 03:24 PM

Please please please sign me up for your free CBT course. I am really suffering and can't afford to pay for it privately.
I will be forever in your debt, thank you.

ptncud

10-09-2007, 01:35 AM

Hey Dinkyrowan, id be happy too. You can either get them off of these boards as i will be posting them all here or i can email them to you. If you'd like them emailed let me know.
Take care, John

ptncud

10-10-2007, 01:11 AM

Lesson 7: The Nerd

Hi everyone,

One of the rewards I have received in offering this CBT course is the fact that many people have sent me many “Inspirational Messages”.

I have decided to include some into this course. Some are inspirational messages of hope, some simply make you chuckle, while others carry a message of a need for change.

This one tells of a teenager’s struggle with being labeled as different, but how one simple act of kindness turned what would have been a tragic end to this talented youth’s life, into a friendship that ultimately led to a very rewarding future for this talented youth, and an important lesson for all of us.

As a teenager, it's tough to be different.

How many teens develop an anxiety disorder and depression as a result of bullying?

It’s time the devastating effects of teasing and bullying were taken seriously.

Equally important, is our willingness to come to the aid of those who are being victimized.

This is such a story.

The Nerd

One day, when I was a freshman in high school. I saw a kid from my class, walking home from school. His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books home.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned, parties, and a football game with my friends tomorrow, so I shrugged my shoulders, and went on.

As I was walking I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him knocking all his books out of his arms, and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying and I saw them land in the grass.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses.

I saw tears in his eyes.

As I handed him his glasses I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.” He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived.

As it turned out he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to a private school before.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends.

He said, “yes.”

We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles, with this pile of books everyday!"

He just laughed, and handed me half of the books.

Over the next four years Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, and that the miles would never be a problem for us.

He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day came and I saw Kyle. He looked great.

He was one of those guys that had really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had, and all the girls loved him.

Boy sometimes I was jealous.

Today was one of those days!

I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks, the really grateful one, and smiled.

"Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began:

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...

I am here to tell all of you that being a
friend to someone, is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you my story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief, as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn't have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me, and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome popular boy, told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me, and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life for the better.

God puts us all in each other's lives, to impact one another in some way.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

ptncud

10-13-2007, 02:05 AM

Lesson 8: Beliefs Are Very Potent

Hi Everyone,

This Lesson is designed to make you think about how, and why you believe what you do.

People in general, have trouble recognizing, what is rational, and what is not.

When we were children, we never thought to question the fact that our role models may have passed on their beliefs and values, simply because they were passed down from their role models without question.

We looked up to them as being all knowing.

We knew our parents would never lie to us because they loved and supported us.

The beliefs they passed on may have been based on false perceptions, but even our parents may not have realized it at the time.

Some of their core values and traditional beliefs may have been valid then, but not in today’s western culture and society.

Your parents may have lacked parenting skills so they did the best they could at the time. If they had known better they may have done better.

This may have been true of their parents as well.

Those core values that were taught centuries ago may not apply in today’s free western society.

In many societies women are seen as possessions by their husbands.

This belief is still prevalent even in free western society today.

To protect us from harm lies and half truths about sex and marriage may have been used by well-intentioned parents, teachers, and ministers.

Even though these people are no longer with us they may still control us from the grave.

The net effect can be the development of an anxiety disorder or depression.

The problem is that we didn’t question what we were taught by the pivotal people in our lives during childhood.

Therefore we must do it now if we are to overcome our anxiety and depression.

Are you sure your beliefs are based on rational true information, that is valid today, or did you simply accept those values and beliefs without question?

Those are values, customs and beliefs which are passed down from generation to generation regarding race, color, religion, sex, marriage, the wife’s role, the husband’s role, moral values, and political views without question.

Did your mother or father suffer from anxiety and depression, or a mental illness? As a result, did they unknowingly teach you to fear everything, inside and outside the home?

Where your parents bible thumping religious fanatics that put the fear of God in you?

Has that affected you negatively regarding your view of the world, and your place in it?

How has it affected your self-image?

Is what you have told yourself about yourself actually true, or is it a boldfaced lie?

It is very difficult to work on an irrational thought, if you don’t see it as being wrong.

Why fix something that is not broken.

Example: A control freak or doormat.

Do you see them changing their beliefs in the near future, or ever, if they don’t see their behavior as being wrong?

Why not?

“Why should they change something, that they believe is right?”

Have you become a doormat, or a control freak, because of what you were taught, or lived through as a child?

How do those beliefs and core values affect your life today, in a negative way?

Like Dr. Phil says: “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”.

If you don’t acknowledge that you are a control freak and that it is wrong, you will never change that behavior.

The same thing is true if you have become a doormat, you will never stick up for yourself until you acknowledge that you are a doormat.

The same thing is true of religious beliefs, beliefs about sex, moral values, race relations, etc.

You need to start questioning your core values and beliefs.

Are they in fact based on solid factual evidence, or simply accepted as fact without question?

Dr. Phil says: “You start doing things for one reason, and carry them on for another reason.”

Why are you doing what you are doing?

Is it based on true factual evidence, if not why do you continue the behavior?

Is it simply through habit? Or is it that you don’t know any better? You need to be brutally honest with yourself.

The truth hurts, but you will never change a behavior until you acknowledge that it is detrimental to you in the long run.

Dr. Phil says: “You always do something for a payoff”.

The questions below, you need to ask yourself.

What payoff are you getting to continue doing what you are doing?

Is it really worth it in the end?

Is it ruining your marriage, your future, your children’s future, your mental health, or your physical well-being?

What price are you paying to continue behaving the way you do?

Is it really in your best interest?

Your children’s best interest?

The story below deals with this very issue.

The Religion of Voodoo

Henri was raised in the Caribbean, where his mother taught him from a very early age the culture, art and religion of voodoo.

Henri sat in the circles when religious chants, and ceremonies were being held.

He saw with his own eyes, that when the shaman made a prophecy. It was accepted as true by everyone present.

Nobody questioned it. It was accepted as fact. Everyone believed it. Nobody challenged it.

It did not occur to Henri that there could be anything different.

As his belief system grew, he became more and more convinced of his beliefs.

It was part of his life. It was part of his daily conversation. He lived those thoughts each and every moment of the day.

Henri was so strong in his beliefs that he was convinced that the shaman could never be wrong.

Whenever our beliefs are as strong as this, they are unshakable.

If we believe we have anxiety, and that we'll always have anxiety, then we always will, UNLESS our belief system changes.

“Whether you think that you can or you can't, you are usually right”.

- Henry Ford

The power of belief is stronger than anyone realizes.

Belief is a very potent thing.

We live our lives based on our beliefs.

Therefore it is vital to develop beliefs that are rational, healthy, positive, and life enhancing.

A strong belief has a powerful effect.

It is vital that we learn to turn the tables on automatic negative thoughts, so that we can begin believing the truth, instead of believing a false automatic negative thought like, "I'll never get any better."

Remember

“It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive, to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts.”

- Author unknown

ptncud

10-16-2007, 03:47 AM

Hi Everyone,

You have learned that your beliefs are very potent, and we run our lives on what we believe.

We also realize, that it is vital that we question the validity of our beliefs.

Are they based on the truth, or on false perceptions and lies?

We have also learned that, consistent and persistent practice is vital, if we are to fully overcome anxiety and depression.

We have learned the importance of using slow-talk properly.

This handout deals with another key concept, which must be understood and believed.

This is a key handout, whether you suffer from an anxiety disorder, depression or bipolar disorder (manic depression).

It is the fact that when we are anxious and depressed, our feelings will lie to us.

Overshadowing all these concepts is the fact that you must at least begin to believe, that you will get better because until you truly believe that you will get better, you will not put in the time and effort required to overcome your anxiety and depression.

I have put a lot of time and effort into revising and updating this course so that you will better understand the importance of using CBT correctly, but in the final analysis only you can do the job.

You are not responsible for developing an anxiety disorder and depression, but you are the only one who can fix the problem.

Pat

Lesson 9: Your Feelings Will Lie To You When You Are Depressed And Anxious.

When you are in a depressive state your feelings lie to you.

You don't feel like getting out of bed. You do not feel like getting dressed. You do not feel like taking a bath. You do not feel like doing the dishes. You do not feel like working out at the fitness center. You do not feel buying groceries. You don't feel like playing golf. You don't feel like going to work.

You plain don't feel like doing anything, right?

The problem with this plan is that at the end of the day you have accomplished nothing so you feel guilty and beat yourself up for being so stupid.

This of course just adds to the depression, so what do you do the next day but repeat this self-defeating cycle all over again.

You now have started a vicious downward cycle of depression, which gathers speed each day until you can reach the point where you can become agoraphobic, which is a fear of leaving the safety of your home.

This just compounds the original problem.

If you agree that your feelings do lie to you when you are depressed what should you do about it?

You do the thing that you don't want to do, even though you don't feel like it.

Don't sit around and ruminate. Get on with your activities and your daily life.

Chances are that as you start doing something, you will be focusing on what you are doing which gets your mind off of yourself, and the depression starts to ease up.

At the end of the day you can now give yourself a pat on the back, instead of beating yourself up for doing nothing.

By using this approach you reverse the depressive cycle.

Isn't thinking about something good?

Yes, if I’m thinking about a positive event or situation.

If negative thinking causes anxiety, then negative thinking is a red flag.

If I start to feel anxious, stop the thinking and start doing something.

Get my mind off of the self-defeating perceptions of the past.

Stop, slow down, take a deep breath, and realize that all I have to do is accept that I have little control over most of what happens.

Why?

Because if I accept, I am not fighting, struggling, getting frustrated, and attacking.

If I choose to accept, everything becomes easier.

Let the anxiety go, and move on with my life.

Don't sit around and ruminate.

Get on with my daily life.

I suspect for many of you this will likely be one of the most difficult things you will have to do; but once you accept the fact that you have little control you will stop the fighting, struggling, and attacking.

Why is this necessary?

Because all of these emotions are a negative and you can never defeat a negative with a negative.

So what must you do?

Slow down, calm down, relax and use you distractions to focus on the positive things in your life.

Remember jealousy, blaming, rage, anger, fighting, attacking and struggling all come from the negative emotions, and as a result they always head you in the wrong direction. They didn’t work for Dr. Richards, so why would you think they will work for you?

Negative emotions always come from your feelings and when you are anxious and depressed your feelings will lie to you, and you must use you’re coping skills and distractions to reverse the process.

ptncud

10-18-2007, 02:22 AM

Lesson 10: Choices

READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was their telling the employee

how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ...

You can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of

life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you

react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often

thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on

the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the

doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. "Yes, I replied."

The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have

the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Hi everyone,

One of the rewards of offering a CBT course free of charge is receiving motivational messages from individuals that are taking the course.

This particular inspirational message that was sent to me by a group member I believe deserves a place in any CBT course.

You are not responsible for the fact that you suffer from anxiety and depression, but you are the only person who has the power to overcome it.

I truly believe that the choices you make will determine whether you will be successful or not.

To be successful in overcoming an anxiety disorder requires persistent and consistence practice with the lessons I will send you.

According to Dr. Richards, a psychologist who successfully treats people suffering from social anxiety, the brain must be reprogrammed to remove all

of the negative self-defeating garbage that you have told yourself, and replace it with the rational truth.

Remember it took years of negative self-talk to get you where you are. It will take time and patience to replace these lies with the rational truth.

This requires consistent and persistent effort on your part.

The choice is yours.

ptncud

10-20-2007, 04:48 AM

Lesson 11: " I Can't Do It " Thinking

Regardless of how you feel, you don't ever want to use the " I can't do this" explanation.

Remember that your brain hears and responds to every word that you feed it.

Therefore if you say,

" I can't make phone calls, I get too flustered."

" I can't go to the party, I won't know what to say."

" I simply can't sit through that meeting."

" I hate it when I have to meet new people, I feel so inadequate. "

Your brain picks these statements up, and sure enough, you CAN'T do these things, because you've programmed it into your mind over and over again.

The more you reinforce "can’t", and other forms of automatic negative thinking, the more it will take to re-program your mind in a positive, healing way.

In reality, you have lost NONE of your former abilities. What you could do in the past, you can also do now.

Here is a true-life example:

Diane was an agoraphobic. That is, she feared having panic attacks, and felt the only place she was safe was in her home. She gave up driving for the safety of her home.

One day she got a call telling her that her son had been hurt, and he was on his way to the hospital.

Without even thinking about it she jumped into her car, drove the five miles to the hospital and ran to the emergency ward.

She was very EXTERNALLY focused. She was very concerned about her son’s condition.

She never once thought about her anxiety, and her perceived inability to drive.

She was not focused internally. She was focused externally.

The only thing that was important at that moment was the condition of her son.

She was completely ENTIRELY FOCUSED on her son’s condition.

She had no time to focus on anything else.

Therefore because she hadn't thought "panic attack" it did not happen.

It was only later on after she found out her son was fine, that she started thinking about it.

She slowly realized what she had done and said, "Oh, my God! I drove all that distance without having a panic attack. How did I ever do that?"

It was then that her focus shifted internally, and she began questioning herself.

Her attention was now on her fear.

Her focus on a "panic attack" started to move her mind in an internal direction, and as a result she become scared and felt a deep emotional stirring.

If Diane had known better she would have focused externally again and said, "Wow!" I sure put those negative thoughts in their place didn't I?"

Because Diane didn't know any better she focused more and more inside herself, and the feelings of panic and anxiety began to grow.

The more they came on the more she focused internally.

It wasn't long before she was in a full-scale panic attack over an incident she had already performed successfully.

SHE HAD ALREADY DRIVEN TO THE HOSPITAL.

She had done it because she wasn't thinking about it.

What she needed to do was give herself credit for getting in the car, driving to the hospital and riding up the elevator to see her son.

She had done all those things successfully. Her ability to do those things had never left her.

But she didn't understand this.

REMEMBER:

Your brain hears everything you say and believes it, if you say it often enough.

So be very careful what you tell yourself.

Is it the RATIONAL truth or an old self-defeating lie?

Below is my son's personal anxiety battle, except he had no previous successes to look back on.

It was pointed out to me by my son, who has suffered from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) virtually all of his life, that he had no former successes to look back on so this makes it even tougher for him to get over his anxiety and fear.

He said the only things he was good at was failing and quitting, so can’t was firmly entrenched into his subconscious mind.

He had told himself hundreds a times a day; “I can’t do this …”.

The pro golfer practices his shots religiously every day to stay at the top of his game.

Unfortunately like a pro golfer, Dave practiced " I can't do this" thinking every day, for over 40 years.

As a result Dave through this constant repetition of can’t, believed that he would never be successful at anything.

By telling himself over and over again: “I can’t do it”, he programming his subconscious mind to believe that he was incapable of learning, and therefore must be very stupid or mentally retarded.

Even though he was very intelligent the negative thoughts racing through his mind prevented him from concentrating.

As a result he practiced like the pro golfer: the word "stupid" until he was totally convinced he was stupid.

Through the use of Dr. Richards' CBT course Dave now realizes that is actually capable of learning, and that it was the constant fear that prevented him from concentrating, making learning new things a nightmare.

Before CBT he was totally agoraphobic and therefore incapable of holding down a job, and hated learning new things with a passion.

Today he is a partner in a very successful construction business and loves to learn new things.

This is the power of CBT.

He now uses my motto.

So I would recommend you use my motto, as well.

“The impossible just takes a little longer”

There is no such word as "can’t, the impossible just takes a little longer".

Do not should on yourself. It's poison.

Words like: should, never, can’t, won’t, and always are killers.

So avoid them like poison because that’s what they are.

ptncud

10-22-2007, 04:09 AM

Lesson 12: A Child’s View Of Retirement ( Using Laughter As A Stress Reliever)

People who suffer from depression and anxiety tend take life far too seriously.

As complex as the brain is; the good news is that your brain does not know if a situation is funny or not. Recent studies indicate that laughter is a good method of relaxing the body, because it tends to release the feel good hormones serotonin and dopamine, as well as lower the stress hormones cortical and adrenaline.

A member of one of my CBT classes mentioned that she always used laughter to brighten her day, and made a point of trying to find humor in almost every situation. She might have wanted to cry, but laughed instead.

She also suggested that you look at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile; I mean really smile. The face in the mirror will smile back at you; it may even cause you to laugh. Which is even better. Give it a try. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results.

I recently went to an exercise program for seniors and the instructor started off the program by encouraging us to laugh. At first it seemed rather foolish, but as I got into it I noticed it became fun, and it helped remove my inhibitions.

As children we laugh hundreds of times a day, but with the hustle and bustle of modern day living we tend to laugh less and less, particularly if we are depressed or anxious.

There now are laughter groups established around the country. If you can find one I would suggest joining it.

As a minimum take 15 minutes a day to read or watch something funny to reduce the negative effects of stress, and as a result boost your moods.

Another member of one of my CBT classes sent me this funny story. It gave me a chuckle when I read it. I hope it also brightens your day.

A Child’s View Of Retirement

After Easter break the teacher asked her small pupils how they spent their Easter holiday.

One little boy’s reply went like this:

“We always spend Easter with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retired, and they moved to Arizona.

They live in a park with lots of other retired people. They all live in tin huts and ride tricycles that are too big for me.

They all go to a building they call the wrecked hall, but it’s fixed now.

They all do exercises but not very well. There is a swimming pool, but I guess nobody teaches them. They just stand there in the water with their hats on.

I guess that everybody forgets who they are, because they all wear badges with their names on them.

My Grandma used to bake cookies for me, but nobody cooks there. They all go to restaurants that are fast, and have discounts.

When you come into the park, there is a dollhouse with a man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can’t get out without him seeing them.

Grandma says Grandpa worked hard all his life to earn his retirement, but I wish that they would move back home, but I guess that the man in the dollhouse won’t let them out.”

Just as an aside, my father did not believe in retirement so at age 83 he was asked to run for town council in the town of Hanna. One day while sending a parcel to my aunt, he jokingly asked the postmaster if he could get a discount because he was a senior citizen. The postmaster told him that he had to pay just like everyone else, and turned around to weigh the parcel. Just then my father passed away of a massive heart attack.

When the town checked to see what to do about the election they were informed that they had to proceed with the election dead or alive. Most everyone in town knew he had passed away, but voted for him anyway. It was a landslide victory. Apparently it is the second time in North American history that a dead man won an election.

Previous to this, dad had taken on the job of dogcatcher, but was not too selective about what dogs he caught. You don’t pick up the mayor’s dog, etc., but my dad did not believe in this policy. A dog was a dog and if it was causing a problem he picked it up and took it to the pound. One day he picked up the Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman’s dog. He refused to pay the fine, so dad simply took him to court and sued him. The policeman paid the fine like everyone else.

Dad was also brought up before town council for the method he used to catch dogs. He had made a box with a trap door in it, then put box into the person’s back yard. He tied a piece of meat to the trap door, and told the person when the dog catches himself give me a call. He took the dog to the pound; then called the person who owned the dog and told them that if he did not pay the fine the dog would be destroyed.

Dad was told by the town council that they understood that a man of his age running around with a butterfly net to catch dogs was not a good idea, but they objected to him baiting his trap. His response was; “what damned fool dog is going to walk into a trap that is not baited”.

The town only allowed so much money each year for dog catching, so in six month’s time dad was laid off. He now was unemployed.

Because dad was not ready to retire he was talked into running for town council. Dad’s lawyer friend told him that if he did not like the dog bylaws he should run for town council. The lawyer said he would not get anything changed, but he would have a lot of fun. I expect that had dad lived, he would have livened up several dull council meetings.

ptncud

10-23-2007, 10:05 PM

Lesson 13: (Setbacks) Two Competing Neural Pathways In The Brain

Setbacks happen to everyone as they recover from anxiety and depression.

Dr. Richards, who specializes in treating people with anxiety disorders, says he never has worked with anyone who didn't experience many setbacks on the road to full recovery (it happened to him, too).

My son Dave also has experienced many setbacks.

But please remember this - YOU CAN'T HAVE A SETBACK UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY MADE SOME PROGRESS!

Your old neural pathway (the millions of nerve cells in the brain that transmit messages, thoughts, and emotions) automatically leads you toward your old responses of anxiety, fear, and depression.

This old pathway is REAL. It has been mapped out by BRAIN SCANS.

Since your old neural pathway was used for many, many years, it is normal that the thoughts and beliefs that traveled along this pathway became ingrained, became habits, and became automatic.

However, through the use of CBT you begin to develop a new neural pathway.

You will read things that are hard to believe, but are rational and positive.

If you read the lessons consistently and persistently, the millions of brain cells will begin carrying new messages, as you begin to learn the strategies and coping skills to overcome your anxiety disorder.

A new neural pathway is being developed.

The more you practice, and drop the information down into the emotional part of the brain, the STRONGER you make this new positive neural pathway.

This new neural pathway has also has been mapped out in recent brain scans.

The more you continue to use these new strategies and coping skills you are learning, the stronger your new neural pathway will become.

The more you use the new, and the less you use the old, the more you are changing the way your brain thinks in a rational positive direction.

That is how you get over anxiety disorders.

Your brain starts automatically using the new pathway.

The brain operates in much the same way as the rest of your body.

It operates under the "use it or lose it" principle.

If you use your new, positive pathway it GROWS STRONGER.

If you ignore and do not use the old negative pathway, it grows weaker.

We want to use what we know is best for us to continue growing our new neural pathway.

We want to avoid and stay away from the things that lead us down the old negative self-destructive pathway.

You now have two competing neural pathway systems in your brain.

The old neural pathway is not entirely gone, so there is always the possibility that you might experience a "setback".

The worst kind of setback from your prospective is after you've felt good for a few weeks, and your anxiety seems to be under control.

Naturally, you think you've got anxiety pretty much licked.

Then out of the clear blue sky, and without warning, BANG it’s back!

The anxiety floods back, and you start questioning your ability to succeed.

What is actually happening is that through some old remembrance, your old neural pathway got simulated, and the old consequences happened.

NOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Let's look at reality:

What is really happening?

This "setback" is actually a sign of progress.

It is a good experience in the long run, not a bad one.

It is important that you begin to view it in this way.

Your old neural pathway somehow got stimulated, and your new neural pathway didn’t have enough strength to respond.

That is perfectly normal.

It is a natural part of recovering from an anxiety disorder.

As you begin to view it this way, you will respond by using your new thoughts, strategies and methods.

What really happened was a last ditch attempt by anxiety to pull you back into depression and misery.

But since you are developing a new neural pathway.

It is IMPOSSIBLE for you to be pulled back PERMANENTLY.

Your new brain pathway does not die out unless you totally give up.

Even if you have a setback, your new neural pathway is still there and will strengthen over time.

YOU CAN SAVE WEEKS, EVEN MONTHS OF MENTAL TORTURE BY GETTING "RATIONAL " WITH THIS.

These "setbacks" happened because of your two competing neural pathways.

It is a totally normal experience that we all go through as we move forward.

Here are some statements to use when having a setback:

"I will turn my back on my old lying ways of thinking, and deliberately choose the new, positive direction I am moving.”

“That negative response was a last ditch attempt by anxiety to grab me.”

“I believe that my anxiety panicked, and it already knows it has lost me.”

“When these types of "setbacks" occur, I am winning the battle over anxiety.”

“And when I don't respond to the old neural pathway, it will have no choice but to shrink to the place where it can't cause me the emotional pain and torment it did in the past.”

“These setbacks, and my response to them, are a sign that I am in the process of conquering anxiety permanently.”

“I will look at it rationally and pat myself on the back as I learn to deal with anxiety realistically, and refuse to wallow in self pity.”

“I have now taken a big step away from the world of anxiety and fear.”

Setbacks Are Inevitable

Setbacks are inevitable, when we try to weaken strongly ingrained beliefs.

However they can actually help us learn.

We must accept them for what they are.

What we are doing is very difficult.

It will take many attempts to achieve success.

Nothing worth achieving is easy.

At times you will feel anxious and tense.

These feelings are unpleasant, but normal.

Viewing them positively will give you the opportunity to practice accepting, distracting, and relaxing.

Successful people are the ones that keep trying in the face of adversity.

The key to success is perseverance.

Whether your attempts succeed or fail, learn from your attempts and keep trying.

Eventually the successes will outnumber the failures.

When this happens your self-confidence will increase drastically.

ptncud

10-25-2007, 11:13 PM

Lesson 14: The Old Phone

Hi, Everyone,

This story was sent to me some time ago. It gave me memories of the first telephone we had.

It had a barbed-wire fence post telephone line.

It worked pretty well as long as it didn't rain, then it grounded out.

My dad was a man of action, and one day he decided we needed a “ for real telephone line”.

Back in those days the Alberta government actually listened to its constituents at times.

So he put on his old worn brown suit, and went to see the minister of telephones.

Dad said; “there is no use going to see the local yes-men, they have no power; you always go to the top”.

Guess what, we got a real telephone line.

My dad taught me a valuable lesson here: The impossible to takes a little longer. Instead of simply complaining about not having a phone line that worked, he did what most people believed to be impossible, convince the minister of telephones that we needed one.

My dad did not know the meaning of the word; can’t. If you want something bad enough you will find a way.

“The impossible just takes a little longer”

The phone hand a crank on the side. You turned the crank to call someone.

I can still remember our phone number. It was one long and a short.

One long got the operator, and she would ring a farmer on other telephone lines for dad.

Why dad could even phone Edmonton or Calgary.

Talk about modern technology.

We even had a radio that worked if weather conditions were right, and I could listen to shows like:

"The Shadow Knows” and "Superman".

That is after I weeded the garden, milked the cow, feed the calves, and slopped the pigs.

We even had 6-volt lights that were brighter than candles, as long as the engine that ran the old car generator and pumped water from the well was running.

Oh, yes and we had water in the house too.

That pitcher pump pumped water from a 45-gallon drum in the basement. The drum was filled by the same pump that pumped water from the well outside the house.

We even had our own refrigerator, the ice pit under the pump house with salamanders and all.

We even owned a car. It was a totally worn-out 1928 Star that ran in the summer time.

I even had my own transportation, “Queen” to ride the 2 1/2 miles to school.

Most kids used "shanks pony", they walked.

Oh yes and I had a piece of tin for a sleigh to ride down the hill at recess.

I also had a pair of wooden barrel staves for skis.

And old horse-collar sweat pads for shin pads when I played hockey.

Talk about modern technology.

I snared gophers and collected crow and magpie eggs. I got a ½ cent each for gopher tails and one cent for the bird’s eggs. By putting a small hole in each end of the shell you could blow out the liquid inside. If I took them to the barbershop owner, he gave me money, and I could go to the picture show with my friends Wilmert and Otto.

I got to go to the neighbors to listen to “Wilf Carter” records on the old wind-up gramophone with Wilmert and Otto as well, once my chores were done. The spring that powered it was weak and we often had to wind it up in the middle of the song, as it slowed down.

We had no money but we ate well because we grew everything.

Times were hard and money was scarce.

But you know what I never felt hard done-by. Everyone else was in the same boat.

Remember we had water in the house, 6-volt lights, and a telephone that worked, lots to eat, and my own transportation.

The telephone and the old radio were our link to the outside world.

We were modern folk.

“We were really styling”, as my son would say.

Dr. Phil says: “There is no reality, only perception.”

Remember:

Your perception becomes your reality, whether correct or not.

I did not realize we were poor folk, I thought we were styling because we had all the modern conveniences. Many of our neighbors did not have water in the house, electric lights, a radio, telephone, or an ice pit.

It never occurred to me to feel sorry for myself.

We were dirt poor but compared to many of our neighbors we were doing GOOD, and better than most.

Here then is the story about the old phone.

The Old Phone

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our
neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall.
The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to
reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother
talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an
amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing
she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and
the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my
mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the
basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but
there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give
sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving
at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the
parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the
receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I
said into the mouthpiece just above my head.
A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

"Information."

"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily
enough now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,"
said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her
for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She
helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in
the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called,
”Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then
said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I
asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring
joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom
of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne
always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."
"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I
asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest.
When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I
missed my friend very much.

"Information Please" belonged in that old
wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new
phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the
memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene
sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient,
understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in
Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15
minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then
without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and
said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.
"Information."

I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell
me how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your
finger must have healed by now."

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea
how much you meant to me during that time?"

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me.
I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if
I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered,
"Information." I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working
part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks
ago."

Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name
was Wayne?"

"Yes." I answered.

Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you
called. Let me read it to you.

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Why not pass this on? I just did....

Lifting you on eagle's wings.

May you find the joy and the peace, you long
for.

ptncud

10-29-2007, 01:11 AM

Lesson 15: Automatic Negative Thought Stoppage

Automatic negative thinking is a real problem, for people suffering from anxiety and depression.

Automatic negative thought stoppage is an effective method of dealing with this problem.

The strategies are simple but far from easy to implement, but with persistent and consistent practice you will be successful.

The hardest part of this process is to notice: “I’m having automatic negative thoughts.”

Automatic negative thoughts are just there. They appear out of nowhere.

Often I’m in a cycle of negative thinking before I’m aware of it.

This week I am going to attempt to catch these thoughts as much as I can.

Then I’m going to make a statement to myself.

It’s much better if I can make it out-loud in slow-talk, because it’s stronger and more powerful that way.

I’ll put lots of emotion into my voice so my brain knows it’s important.

It’s vital that I tell my brain that I don’t like these thoughts.

I don’t intend to keep thinking this way the rest of your life.

Unless I tell my brain I don't like these negative thoughts, my brain will dig these thoughts up automatically.

By telling my brain: “I do not like these unhealthy thoughts”, my brain will realize that I’m reinforcing these thoughts, hundreds of times a day with self-talk.

So when I notice I’m having these thoughts I will do something about them.

A verbal statement I make to myself can go something like this:

“These thoughts are very unhealthy for me, so I'm going to break them up by finding an interesting distraction.”

Or I can say STOP and see a bright red stop sign in my head and say:

"Wait a minute, I’m having those thoughts again.”

NOTE: Both methods work, so I will use the one the works best for me.

If I am visually oriented the later will likely work best, if not then finding an interesting distraction will likely work better for me.

Regardless of which method I employ I have decided to think in a more healthy direction.

I will always use rational statements my brain believes.

I will never make statements like:

"When I wake up in the morning, I'll be the happiest person I know"

When I make statements like this it's too much, too fast, so my brain will not believe it.

A statement like: “I may feel better tomorrow than I do today” is believable.

This is known as a neutral statement. To go fully positive at this time will not work because the brain sees it as not being rational.

I must always stay realistic.

As I make rational statements I will change my thought processes.

If these statements are realistic my brain will accept them as possible.

So I will catch those automatic negative thoughts this week.

When I make my STOP statement, it's necessary for me to find a distraction to keep me away from negative thinking.

Just saying stop is not good enough.

I need to find something interesting to do to get my mind off the negative.

I will use distractions until I can stop the negative thinking by my thoughts alone.

But for now distractions are very important.

It is important to find an activity that will take my mind off of my negativity.

One distraction that seems to work well for everybody is singing.

There is a physiological reason singing along to a favorite CD, or humming a song under my breath is a very effective distraction strategy for everyone.

I am using a different part of the brain when I am thinking than when I am singing.

I can’t do both at the same time.

ptncud

11-01-2007, 12:49 AM

Lesson 16: Worry

Worry leads to more Worry, and more Worry, and more Worry!!!

Worry is never positive. It never does any good.

There is no redeeming value in worry.

It always leads me in the wrong direction.

It always exaggerates.

It always blows things out of proportion and consumes my life.

It leaves a trail of anxiety and depression behind it.

Worry just fuels the fire of anxiety and causes me to worry more.

Nothing good ever comes from worrying.

Most of what I worry about never happens anyway.

Worry just makes things worse.

Worry fuels the fire of anxiety and depression.

Worry compounds anxiety.

Worry is incapable of telling me the truth.

Worry wants me to be irrational, to expect the very worst and to see the situation as being catastrophic.

Worry is always negative.

If I surrender to worry I am heading in the wrong direction.

Worry needs to be stopped dead in its tracks.

It is a lie.

It never leads me in a healthy direction.

Worry never solves any problems. It only creates them.

The more I worry the more problems I will have.

Worrying is a negative emotion and can only fuel other negative emotions.

There is no help no progress and no solution in worrying.

Worry robs me of my minute, my hour, and my day.

Worry keeps me living in the troubling past and the fearful future.

Worry makes sure that the time I spend with it is miserable and depressing.

Worry sets me up for defeat, anxiety, stress and fear.

It never does me any good. It always wants to trip me up and knock me down.

Worry needs to be stopped.

It will throw any dark filter over reality that it can find, and it is always unhealthy.

So what can I do about it?

If I'm worrying about something and can do something about it, I'll DO IT.

Stop the excessive thinking (worrying) and start the doing.

It is also pointless to worry about something I have no control over.

It will only hurt me and depress me and pull me farther down into the vicious maze of anxiety.

Worrying never solves a thing.

There is no solution in worry. There is only defeat.

Excessive worrying is like poison. I’ll catch it, stop it and move away from it.

So I'll say to myself:

"Worry never does me any good. It is only there to hurt me and rob me of my peace. Therefore I deliberately choose to go and do something.”

Worry is a fraud and a liar.

Nothing good ever comes from worry.

It is time for me to put worry in its place, kill it and stop the thinking by using any of my cognitive methods or strategies.

I’ll catch myself when I start to worry and throw these worrying thoughts off like they were poison because they are.

I will find a good distraction and do it, or as I progress rely upon the rational statements I am making as part of my daily life.

Below is a personalized edited version of the worry handout.

I have boiled it down to several key sentences and concepts.

This will give you an idea of how you can personalize handouts down into a more manageable size, when reading them in slow-talk.

Worry

Worry leads to more Worry, and more Worry, and more Worry !!!

Most of what I worry about never happens anyway.

Worry wants me to be irrational, to expect the very worst, and to see the situation as being catastrophic.

Worry never solves any problems. It only creates them.

Worry keeps me living in the troubling past and fearful future.

.

Worry sets me up for anxiety, stress and fear.

So what can I do about it?

If I'm worrying about something and can do something about it, I'll DO IT.

I'll stop the excessive thinking and start the doing.

It is also pointless to worry about something I have no control over.

Excessive worrying is like poison I’ll catch it, stop it, and move away from it, so I'll say to myself:

"Worry never does me any good. Therefore I deliberately choose to go and do something.”

I’ll catch myself when I start to worry and throw these worrying thoughts off like they were poison.

It is time for me to put worry in its place by using my cognitive methods and strategies.

ptncud

11-02-2007, 10:05 PM

Lesson 17: Brainwashing

Hi everyone,

As a child, your parents, friends, classmates, teachers, or a minister may have told you things that were not true for various reasons.

Because they were your role models, you never questioned what they said.

They may have told you these things to protect you, or simply control you.

As you looked up to them, you believed that they would not lie to you.

You never thought to question the validity of their statements.

Think about your childhood and the things that you were told, and question their validity.

You will likely find that several things you were told as a child you firmly believe to this day, but in fact are not true.

Or maybe, severe anxiety and fear may have prevented you from focusing and concentrating in school, which meant you did very poorly in school.

As a result, you may have brainwashed yourself into believing that you were incapable of learning.

Who in your life today may be telling you things about you that are false?

What have you been telling yourself about you that are not true?

Beliefs built upon false perceptions unfortunately become your reality.

“There is no reality, only perception”.

Think seriously about this statement.

The following handout addresses this issue.

Pat

How do people develop anxiety disorders?

The simple answer is that they are literally brainwashed over time by

people in their life, and / or environmental circumstances.

When you hear negative comments, criticisms, and statements about you, over and over again in childhood, your brain begins to believe all the negative inaccurate things that it hears.

If you are exposed repeatedly over and over again to brainwashing, even if it's subtle, your mind begins to believe what you've heard.

Once you believe these untruths you then literally brainwash yourself, hundreds of times a day with self-talk. You don’t need any outside stimulus.

The downward cycle of negativity has been set into motion and gains speed quickly.

Yes, you can brainwash yourself into having an anxiety disorder.

The good news is, since you brainwashed yourself into having an anxiety disorder, you can also wash these negative thoughts from your brain, and in doing so overcome your anxiety disorder.

This is a change in wording, which will bring on a change in beliefs and thoughts.

No longer are we going to be brainwashed.

Using CBT we are going to wash the brain of all the old garbage from the past.

All of the old negative emotions: embarrassment, fear, humiliation, low self-esteem, depression, negative beliefs, and hurtful events.

We are going to wash the old negative lies out of our brain, and replace them with new clean rational thoughts and feelings.

Washing the brain is far more powerful than brainwashing.

When the false brainwashing thoughts come we will challenge them by saying;

“I choose to wash my brain of those lies and fill it with the rational truth.”

ptncud

11-06-2007, 02:41 AM

Hi everyone,

I just found this inspirational message while revising the course and decided it worth sharing.

Pat

Lesson 18: “Something For Stevie”

A Trucker’s Story

If this doesn't light your fire..your wood is wet!

I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie. He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome.

I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade. The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded "truck stop germ"; the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.

I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot. After that, I really didn't care what the rest of my customers thought of him.

He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and peppershaker was exactly in its place, not a breadcrumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table.

Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto his cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.

Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home.

That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work. He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.

A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine. Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news. Belle Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table. Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Belle Ringer a withering look.

He grinned. "OK, Frannie, what was that all about?" he asked.

"We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay."

"I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?"

Frannie quickly told Belle Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: "Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK," she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is." Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on rest of her tables.

Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do. After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I didn't get that table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said. "This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup."

She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something For Stevie".

"Pony Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this." She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: "truckers."

That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work. His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy.

I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back. Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.

"Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you and your mother are on me!"

I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins.

"First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern.

Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table. Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it.

I turned to his mother. "There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. "Happy Thanksgiving".

Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well.

But you know what's funny? While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table.

Best worker I ever hired.

Plant a seed and watch it grow.

At this point, you can bury this inspirational message or forward it fulfilling the need!

If you shed a tear, hug yourself, because you are a compassionate person.

Well. Don't just sit there! Send this story on! Keep it going, this is a good one!

AMEN!!!!!!!

ptncud

11-08-2007, 11:12 PM

Hi everyone,

The website below was brought to my attention by a person taking my CBT course. It contains several very good articles about anxiety and depression. Please check them out as they are very helpful.

http://panicattacks.com.au/articles/index.html

Below is an example of one of the articles entitled Take Back The Power.

Take Back the Power

by Bronwyn Fox

'If no one is going to rescue me........?', is a question from Nathaniel Branden's book ' The Six Pillars of Self Esteem' (1) and is a question we ask in one of our Panic Anxiety Management Follow up Programs. The open ended question is provoking. 'If no one is going to rescue me'..... and take the Disorder away, if there is not going to be a magic answer, a magic pill, a magic cure, and ultimately our recovery is going to be up to us, what then? Answers to the question are always extremely powerful. From outright anger, ' .....(expletive deleted).... that's not fair' to indignation, 'I'll do it myself (that will show them)' to the self empowered, 'I know and I'm doing it'.

Paraphrasing Branden, he is right when he says, 'When the client grasps no one is coming... a 'click' seems to occur in the client's mind and a new forward motion begins.....'(1). And in most instances that 'new forward motion' is power. Personal Power. Resulting in self responsibility, commitment and recovery. Even if the power initially comes from anger or indignation, it can be the first time people actually feel their own strength and determination and it can be the first time they see they actually do have a choice in how they live their lives. In feeling our own power, the power balance between ourselves and our Anxiety Disorder is shifted.

It may seem strange to use the words 'power balance' when talking of anxiety disorders, but the majority of people with an anxiety disorder, give away their personal power, not just to the disorder, but to the myths, stigma, shame and community attitudes about the disorders and mental health generally.

Giving away personal power is not a result of an anxiety disorder, the majority of people with an anxiety disorder have always given away their personal power and in the process have become very passive people. This has enabled them to be the 'strong one' in the family, the person who family, friends and acquaintances turn to (and turn to and turn to! ) whenever there is a problem. The word 'no' is not part of their vocabulary. They are good, kind, caring people who take the responsibility for everyone else. The one person they do not take care of, or are responsible for, is themselves.

The development of the disorders, either gradually or as a powerfully swift and dramatic force, can destroy peoples' lives. As they have never felt their personal power they feel completely powerless to the onslaught of the disorder.

In the past and unfortunately even today, some health practitioners do not have a basic understanding of anxiety disorders, let alone knowledge in the latest treatment methods. The lack of understanding and knowledge by many of the health professions of course adds to the sense of helplessness and confusion people feel. They go to the doctor and/or to their therapist and wait for them to do 'something' to take the disorder away. If the doctor or therapist don't know or has little understanding of anxiety disorders, their assistance is limited and people feel further dis-empowered.

Even though knowledge and understanding of the disorders is now growing and will continue to grow within the health professions, people with an anxiety disorder often unwittingly contribute to the lack of understanding. Not only are they extremely passive, they also need to be perfect. The perfect partner, parent, sibling, employee or employer, friend, acquaintance, and many try to be the perfect patient.

In so many instances people may only tell their doctor one or two symptoms. They may never tell the doctor their full experience, any avoidance behavior, any alcohol problem or thoughts of suicide, because it doesn't fit in with the image of who people want themselves to be. 'This is not me, I am not like this'.

It is difficult for doctors and therapists to understand and make an appropriate diagnosis if people hold back many of the pertinent facts about what they are experiencing. Not only do they disempower themselves, inadvertently people disempower their doctor who can't fully assist them , because the doctor does not know the whole 'picture'.

One of the first and by far the biggest obstacles to taking back the power is a lack of compassion towards self. True compassion is the recognition, understanding and the ability to fully feel the pain of our own individual suffering without mentally abusing ourselves, 'I am hopeless, stupid, worthless etc' and without the brutal self hatred many people feel. When we can feel our own pain and suffering, without trying to avoid it, we then recognize, at a very deep level, the pain and suffering in others. But true compassion does not mean taking responsibility for other peoples' pain, it means first and foremost, taking responsibility for how we deal with our own.

In the early stages of an anxiety disorder people say, 'This is not me, I am not like this' and in doing so, they negate and invalidate their own suffering and pain. Most people cannot see, let alone acknowledge or appreciate their own strength and courage which has bought them thus far.

The first step in taking back the power means learning to be compassionate toward ourselves. How can people recover when they continually invalidate, mentally abuse and hate themselves? How can people feel true compassion for others if they cannot feel it for themselves? How can they recognize strength and courage in others, when they are not able to see it in themselves?

When we as individuals can begin to be kind to ourselves, when we can feel our own pain and suffering without trying to avoid it, when we can accept, 'I do have an anxiety disorder', and when we accept our own strength and courage, we take back the power.

The other major obstacle, which keeps people disempowered is again related to compassion. While in time people may accept their anxiety disorder and accept their strength and courage, there are so many others things that have to be done before they can concentrate on recovery. Usually the other things are for other people. Recovery can end up on the list of priorities as number 5, or 10 or number 20.

Bringing recovery to number one priority goes against who people think they should be and what they think compassion is. Many give away their power and recovery in the belief they are being selfish in making their recovery number one priority. There is no denying other people can and do get upset when people start to say no and begin to put themselves first. The question of selfishness arises time and time again, not only from people with the disorder, but also from partners, family members and/or friends. But how can caring about, and looking after our own mental health be selfish? Taking back the power means recovery needs to be number one priority.

The question, 'If no one is going to rescue me.....?' , can lead us, sometimes quite dramatically, to the shift in the power base between us and our anxiety disorder. We have the power, it is already there, it is not something we have to manufacture. Recognizing and using our power means self-responsibility which in turn leads to freedom. Freedom from the disorders and freedom to be who we really are, not who we think we should be. The choice is ours!

ptncud

11-12-2007, 03:42 AM

Lesson 19: Acceptance

Don't take life so seriously.

Your human, so is everyone else, and everyone makes mistakes.

All you can do is your best, and let it go at that.

If we try to act "normal" we pressure ourselves.

If we keep pressuring ourselves we are trapped in an "automatic" cycle of anxiety.

Be more patient with yourself, and give yourself credit for what you have accomplished.

Every time you replace an automatic negative lie, with accurate rational information, you are physically altering the brain for the better.

As the true rational thoughts become stronger, the old lies will die out.

If you are worried about an upcoming event, tell yourself that you had difficulties in the past, but you have learned strategies to handle it better now.

“The event may still cause me some anxiety, but it will be a little better than before.”

This is a neutral statement, and the brain will accept it because it is rational.

Use all the neutral statements you want at this point in time, to allow your mind to accept the statements as rational.

These neutral statements begin to turn your automatic negative thinking, to automatic rational thinking.

You can't go from automatic negative thinking, to positive thinking yet, because the brain will not accept the information, as being rational.

If you don't change the way you think about going to an event, and just expose yourself to the situation, it only makes the anxiety worse, not better.

Turn the table on those automatic negative thoughts gently.

Never practice a number ten-anxiety situation at this time. This is flooding, and just adds fuel to fire of anxiety.

Start repeating neutral statements each day, until they sink in. Later as you get better you can replace them with positive statements.

By accepting yourself just the way you are today you allow the healing to begin.

You must separate yourself as a person from the bad habits you want to change.

Eventually you will become a better you, not a different person.

“Healing begins when I accept myself.”

“I accept myself for who I am, and what I am.”

“I accept myself for who I am, because acceptance is the golden pathway to healing.”

“I am a human being, and there are parts of my life I want to change.”

“There are parts of my life that cause me trouble and difficulty. Nevertheless, this does not change the inner- me.”

“By accepting myself I am opening the door to healing. Therefore, I’ll take a deep breath, and peacefully relax.”

“I am a good person. There is nothing wrong with the intrinsic me. ”

“I accept myself, problems and all, because the more I accept myself as I am, the more I have opened the door for positive change.”

“When I let go and accept there is a healing power that begins to flow in my life.”

“As I accept myself for who I am everything else that is good, powerful, and positive fits naturally, and completely into place.”

“ As I accept myself, I will begin to change and grow.”

“Acceptance opens the floodgates of healing and power.”

“Without acceptance, there is only the struggling and fighting of the past.”

“There is healing in my acceptance. There is power in my acceptance.”

“My acceptance allows the flow to surround me with its natural healing and power.”

“I accept myself because I deserve it.”

“I accept myself just as I am so that I can move forward in peace, calmness, strength, and confidence.”

“Acceptance is the key and the core of my progress. I accept myself so that I can move forward.”

“Acceptance is my strength and power.”

“ Accepting myself as I am allows me to make the positive changes I need to make, to overcome excessive worry and anxiety for good.”

ACCEPTANCE IN BRIEF

Don't take life so seriously.

Lighten up and take it easy.

This is NOT a life and death experience.

This is NOT an either/or, black and white, situation.

Take a deep breath, let go and just relax.

The world is not going to end over this, guaranteed !

There is humor in almost everything, even this. Carry your worries out to ridiculous lengths and laugh about them.

Don't listen to anxiety feelings. They are automatic negative thought lies.

Listen to the TRUTH.

All you can do is your best, and then forget about it.

“The way I feel today is not going to influence the fate of the world today, tomorrow, or next week, let alone in the millennia to come.”

“It's NO BIG DEAL!”

“My worry is not going to make the situation better, it will only make me feel worse.”

“I am who I am, and I'm human. So is everyone else.”

“We all make MISTAKES

ptncud

11-17-2007, 01:17 AM

Lesson 20: Removing Excess Adrenaline And Cortical

When you feel anxious, panicky, and fearful, get physically active.

I know this sounds hard to do because anxiety makes you feel immobile, inactive, and exhausted.

Look at this as a tool to help you feel better, as you get the thinking strategies down into your brain.

It is also very beneficial in maintaining a positive attitude, once you have your anxiety under control.

An excess of the hormone adrenaline fuels anxiety.

The best way to reduce it is to become physically active and burn it off.

Fear feelings are also caused by another hormone called cortical.

Excess cortical is especially controllable by physical activity.

If you can get up move around and do anything physical, to keep your focus on external things not yourself, it will help you burn off the excess adrenaline and cortical.

Any physical activity works:

Bike riding, walking, running in place, exercising to an exercise tape, running up and down stairs, dancing to music, and lifting weights (They don't have to be heavy, it's the activity that counts).

Some Rational Statements You Can Use:

“I'm not going to just sit here and let my anxiety build.”

“I'm going to get up move around and get rid of this excess adrenaline and cortical.”

“I'm determined to keep moving forward and shrink this anxiety for good."

“I don't have to live with this stuff anymore.”

Below is a plan that I follow to reduce my adrenaline and cortical levels, during the summer months.

The plan is very simple.

I tend to be an early riser, and I have an annual membership at our local golf club.

I am the only one on the course at 6:00 a.m. This allows me to play three holes with three balls.

I have now played the equivalent of 9 holes, without getting tired.

As I only live 5 minutes from the course, the whole process takes about 35 minutes out of my day.

I make a point of patting myself on the back for the good shots I make.

I never beat myself up for the bad shots, but see them as a learning experience.

This strategy helps me to improve my game without pressure, and reduces my adrenaline and cortical levels at the same time.

I find this very relaxing because the temperature is perfect, there is seldom any wind and I have the whole course to myself.

I also get my exercise and fresh air on a beautiful golf course as well.

I then return home and have breakfast.

I find this a good distraction, and I am now ready for the day fully relaxed and ready to do whatever needs to be done.

This is my plan to reduce my adrenaline and cortical levels, but I would suggest that you devise your own plan around your schedule and interests.

Make it fun and interesting. Don’t see it as work, but a way to reduce your anxiety level naturally.

ptncud

11-19-2007, 08:15 PM

Hi everyone,

Thought Of The Day

“Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goals”

I would like to add my own personal motto.

“The impossible just takes a little longer”

This lesson was constructed to get you thinking about the possible negative consequences of being a perfectionist.

Lesson 21 : Perfectionism And Control

By trying to be perfect you are actually giving control of your life to others.

Is this not defining your self -worth, by seeking the approval of others, rather than establishing it from within yourself?

As a perfectionist you are always setting the bar unrealistically high for yourself.

As a result you are always striving for the impossible, and setting yourself up for failure.

Which Results in:

Feelings of failure, guilt, anger, fear, humiliation, frustration, lack of control, resentment, low self -esteem, and depression.

A Typical Example

You are a spotless homemaker. (Show-home condition at all times)

Short term rewards: Praise from neighbors, friends, and last but not least, your relatives.

At what price? : In order to have a spotless house at all times, your husband and children must have the same goal.

Is this possible or realistic?

What will your children have fond memories of when they grow up, you taking the time to watch cartoons with them or polishing the silverware?

What would your children likely remember most fondly: You going to see their school plays and ball games, or keeping your house spotless?

Are you not stealing time from developing a solid relationship with your husband and children?

As a stay at home mom with very small children the spotless house may be possible, but what happens when they get older and need more of your time?

If your husband and children don’t buy into your goal, what then?

If your children do buy into your goal, are you not setting them up to be perfectionists like yourself?

What happens if you need to go out to work once the children are in school?

Will you wear yourself out spending 8 hours at work, and another 8 hours at home keeping the house spotless?

Could you crash and burn as a result of lack of sleep?

Will you feel guilty if you can no longer have a spotless house due to lack of time and sleep?

Would you not always live in fear that someone might catch you off guard?

What are the long-term benefits of maintaining a spotless house at all times?

Would your husband and children feel at home and relaxed?

Do you have a home or simply a house?

Are you not unwittingly slowing up your recovery process, and possibly setting your children up for anxiety disorder?

Are you also not unwittingly giving your control away to others?

Does this make any rational sense?

wulf

11-20-2007, 07:51 PM

These look fantastic, I have been looking to start on CBT and this looks like a great place to start. Could you please email me the formatted documents so I can print them out? My email is darkwuff@Hotmail

Thanks!

Meggles

11-21-2007, 07:41 PM

Hi there,

First can I just say thankyou for providing this to us for free, what a great gift to people suffering anxiety.

Secondly.. this is probably a very silly/stupid question.. but when/where do we begin the slow talk?

Am I supposed to read every post in slow-talk, out aloud to myself?? Even the commentary by the author?

I'm just a bit confused that's all.

ptncud

11-22-2007, 10:35 PM

Hey Meggles, you should try to use the slow talk whenever you find the information important. Just be careful with this as slow talk is key to your understanding and truly processing the information. Let me know if you need more explanation.

Hey Wulf, I'll start emailing them out to you in the next 3 or 4 days. Let me know if you don't recieve them.

Meggles

11-22-2007, 10:37 PM

Ok thanks :)

I'd also like the formatted copies emailed to me if possible, just so I can save them on my flashdrive and keep them with me to read when I'm at work etc.

megan @ wn. com. au

ptncud

11-22-2007, 10:38 PM

Hi everyone,

Here is the thought of the day. It ties in well with this lesson.

Pat

THE TASK AHEAD OF YOU, IS NEVER AS GREAT AS THE POWER BEHIND YOU!

Unknown Author

Lesson 22: Poisonous Thoughts

Anxious worrying thoughts lead to anxious worrying feelings, which creates traumatic anxiety ridden lives for those of us who suffer from anxiety disorders.

When we become aware of this and begin to take control of our thoughts, it will lead us to a belief that we can overcome this downward spiral of negativity.

The ‘expecting the worst to happen’ syndrome that keeps our anxieties alive must be

stopped dead in it’s tracks.

What we have typically done is repeatedly rehearse our failures, and tell ourselves we can't do things.

We tell ourselves that the things we need to do are horrible, awful, and monstrous and wish we didn't have to do them.

We tell ourselves, we'll never get any better, with statements like:

"I've always been like this, and I see no hope of getting better.”

If we keep reinforcing these negative scary obsessive thoughts, those fearful thoughts will lead to fearful negative feelings, which will cause us to continue to have anxiety, worry, and fear.

DO YOU SEE THE CONNECTION?

Thoughts have no power in and of themselves.

You fill them with your own power and your own feelings.

Thoughts always require an action on your part.

Can you run your computer with your thoughts, or go to the grocery store and shop with thoughts, or write an e-mail using only your cognitive abilities?

Thinking by itself, isn't enough.

Each and every thought requires an action to get it moving.

These original harmless, powerless thoughts though, can create great havoc in your life when you start rehearsing them, and believing them because then you start to act on them.

If you believe in and act on a lie, the lie will become the truth for you.

You have created it, with your thoughts, and chosen to believe it, with your actions.

Therefore you have made these powerless thoughts the truth.

Here are some examples:

Thought: "I am afraid to speak in front of people."

Action: Avoidance. Doing nothing. Worrying. Procrastination.

Result: My fear of speaking in front of people becomes STRONGER.

There are stronger negative feelings now, and I say to myself:

“It seems completely impossible for me to speak in front of people.”

I need to turn the tables on these automatic negative thoughts.

ANTS, as Dr. Richards calls them, and think in a different manner:

It is better to say to myself:

" If I talk to a few people, it probably won't kill me."

“I will survive. If I drool, I drool, so what?”

“Speaking in public is the biggest fear for nearly everyone, not just me.”

“When I speak to people, or present something to people, I'll be OK. It's certainly not the end of the world."

Action: Carry the rational thoughts through, and speak to one or two new people.

Go slowly, but keep on moving. Continuing to move slowly but surely.

Moving slowly step-by-step is very important to prevent flooding.

Remember success builds on success, not failure.

Pat yourself on the back each time you succeed, but never beat yourself up if you fail.

In this way your self-esteem and confidence are built.

You must challenge your ANTS beliefs, cognitive patterns, and thinking strategies.

Are they telling you the rational truth or a bold face lie?

Do you keep repeating the old negative lies, which leads to the downward cycle of defeat, depression, avoidance, fear, and expecting the worst to happen?

Anxiety is caused by the hormone adrenaline. Adrenaline is a speeding-up hormone.

It speeds up your thoughts, actions, and feelings.

When you are surprised, put on the spot, feel self-conscious, or something unexpected comes out of the blue, it speeds up your thoughts about what's about to happen.

The adrenaline is speeding up your thinking processes, and the feelings you have invested in those thoughts.

For example, if you say and believe that giving a speech is awful and terrifying, then excess adrenaline will create awful, terrible, and horrible anxiety feelings when you attempt to make a speech.

If you don't change your thinking, believing, acting and feeling patterns, the negative anxiety syndrome will always be rushing you towards fear.

If, on the other hand when your thoughts and beliefs begin to change, these adrenaline-tinged thoughts will move under your control.

It will be more like, " So what? It's no big deal! This is certainly not the end of the world."

And through your other strategies, the slowing-down ones in particular, you can also learn to control and diminish the adrenaline rush.

Slow-talking, loosen up, and grabbing onto the healthy rational thoughts you've patterned into your mind, will eventually put a halt to the inappropriate rush and flow of that tricky hormone adrenaline.

ANTS thoughts are very powerful, and lead to false beliefs.

These false beliefs in turn, lead to inappropriate actions.

Beliefs built on the rational truth are even stronger, which leads to appropriate action, and a reduction in negative self-defeating thinking.

WHICH THOUGHTS WILL YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE?

Those old, irrational lying ANTS thoughts of the past, or will you challenge them, and start to believe what is rational and true.

The choice is yours

ptncud

11-22-2007, 10:44 PM

Hey Meggles, now that was quick :). I'll try to start sending them out to you in the 3-4 days

ptncud

11-26-2007, 02:18 AM

Lesson 23: Always Believe In Miracles

This story tells of how we can all be "angels unaware".

Always believe in MIRACLES!! Three years ago, a little boy and his grandmother came to see Santa at Mayfair Mall in Wisconsin. The child climbed up on his lap, holding a picture of a little girl.

"Who is this?" asked Santa, smiling. "Your friend? Your sister?"

"Yes, Santa," he replied. "My sister, Sarah, who is very sick," he said sadly.

Santa glanced over at the grandmother who was waiting nearby, and saw her dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"She wanted to come with me to see you, oh, so very much, Santa!"
the child exclaimed. "She misses you," he added softly.

Santa tried to be cheerful and encouraged a smile to the boy's face, asking him what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas.

When they finished their visit, the Grandmother came over to help the child off his lap, and started to say something to Santa, but halted.

"What is it?" Santa asked warmly.

"Well, I know it's really too much to ask you, Santa, but .." the old woman began, shooing her grandson over to one of Santa's elves to collect the little gift which Santa gave all his young visitors. "The girl in the photograph... my granddaughter well, you see ... she has leukemia and isn't expected to make it even through the holidays," she said through tear-filled eyes. "Is there any way, Santa . any possible way that you could come see Sarah? That's all she's asked for, for Christmas, is to see Santa."

Santa blinked and swallowed hard and told the woman to leave information with his elves as to where Sarah was, and he would see what he could do. Santa thought of little else the rest of that afternoon. He knew what he had to do. "What if it were MY child lying in that hospital bed, dying," he thought with a sinking heart, "this is the least I can do."

When Santa finished visiting with all the boys and girls that evening, he retrieved from his helper the name of the hospital where Sarah was staying. He asked the assistant location manager how to get to Children's Hospital.

"Why?" Rick asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

Santa relayed to him the conversation with Sarah's grandmother earlier that day. "C'mon.... I'll take you there," Rick said softly.

Rick drove them to the hospital and came inside with Santa. They found out which room Sarah was in. A pale Rick said he would wait out in the hall.

Santa quietly peeked into the room through the half-closed door and saw little Sarah on the bed. The room was full of what appeared to be her family; there was the Grandmother and the girl's brother he had met earlier that day. A woman whom he guessed was Sarah's mother stood by the bed, gently pushing Sarah's thin hair off her forehead. And another woman who he discovered later was Sarah's aunt, sat in a chair near the bed with weary, sad look on her face. They were talking quietly, and Santa could sense the warmth and closeness of the family, and their love and concern for Sarah. Taking a deep breath, and forcing a smile on his face, Santa entered the room, bellowing a hearty, "Ho, ho, ho!"

"Santa!" shrieked little Sarah weakly, as she tried to escape her bed to run to him, IVtubes in tact. Santa rushed to her side and gave her a warm hug. A child the tender age of his own son -- 9 years old -- gazed up at him with wonder and excitement. Her skin was pale and her short tresses bore telltale bald patches from the effects of chemotherapy. But all he saw when he looked at her was a pair of huge, blue eyes. His heart melted, and he had to force himself to choke back tears. Though his eyes were riveted upon Sarah's face, he could hear the gasps and quiet sobbing of the women in the room.

As he and Sarah began talking, the family crept quietly to the bedside one by one, squeezing Santa's shoulder or his hand gratefully, whispering "thank you" as they gazed sincerely at him with shining eyes. Santa and Sarah talked and talked, and she told him excitedly all the toys she wanted for Christmas, assuring him she'd been a very good girl that year. As their time together dwindled, Santa felt led in his spirit to pray for Sarah, and asked for permission from the girl's mother. She nodded in agreement and the entire family circled around Sarah's bed, holding hands. Santa looked intensely at Sarah and asked her if she believed in angels.

"Oh, yes, Santa... I do!" she exclaimed.

"Well, I'm going to ask that angels watch over you, "he said.
Laying one hand on the child's head, Santa closed his eyes and prayed. He asked that God touch little Sarah, and heal her body from this disease. He asked that angels minister to her, watch and keep her. And when he finished praying, still with eyes closed, he started singing softly, "Silent Night, Holy Night.... all is calm, all is bright." The family joined in, still holding hands, smiling at Sarah, and crying tears of hope, tears of joy for this moment, as Sarah beamed at them all. When the song ended, Santa sat on the side of the bed again and held Sarah's frail, small hands in his own.

"Now, Sarah, "he said authoritatively, "you have a job to do, and that is to concentrate on getting well. I want you to have fun playing with your friends this summer, and I expect to see you at my house at Mayfair Mall this time next year!" He knew it was risky proclaiming that, to this little girl who had terminal cancer, but he "had" to. He had to give her the greatest gift he could -- not dolls or games or toys -- but the gift of HOPE.

"Yes, Santa! "Sarah exclaimed, her eyes bright.

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and left the room.
Out in the hall, the minute Santa's eyes met Rick's, a look passed between them and they wept unashamed. Sarah's mother and grandmother slipped out of the room quickly and rushed to Santa's side to thank him.

"My only child is the same age as Sarah," he explained quietly.
"This is the least I could do." They nodded with understanding and hugged him.

One year later, Santa Mark was again back on the set in Milwaukee for his six-week, seasonal job which he so loves to do. Several weeks went by and then one day a child came up to sit on his lap.

"Hi, Santa! Remember me?!"

"Of course, I do," Santa proclaimed (as he always does), smiling down at her.

After all, the secret to being a "good" Santa is to always make each child feel as if they are the "only" child in the world at that moment.

"You came to see me in the hospital last year!" Santa's jaw dropped.

Tears immediately sprang in his eyes, and he grabbed this little miracle and held her to his chest. "Sarah!" he exclaimed. He scarcely recognized her, for her hair was long and silky and her cheeks were rosy -- much different from the little girl he had visited just a year before. He looked over and saw Sarah's mother and grandmother in the sidelines smiling and waving and wiping their eyes.

That was the best Christmas ever for Santa Claus. He had witnessed
--and been blessed to be instrumental in bringing about -- this miracle of hope.

This precious little child was healed. Cancer-free. Alive and well. He silently looked up to Heaven and humbly whispered, "Thank you, Father. 'Tis a very, Merry Christmas!

ptncud

11-30-2007, 03:33 AM

Lesson 24: "No Matter What I Am Doing Today, I Am Going To Make It As Enjoyable As Possible"

One of the most difficult things for people suffering from anxiety, and depression to accomplish, is to stay in the present.

Remember yesterday is gone, it's history, and the future hasn't happened yet.

To brood over yesterday’s mistakes and worry about the future solves nothing, so remember to focus and enjoy the present.

Every minute spent in worry about what you could, or should not have done, and the feelings of guilt that go along with them, serve no purpose, but to drag you down into a vicious cycle of depression and fear.

Also remember that most of what you worry about will likely never happen, and if it does it's usually out of your control anyway, so what good is it going to do to worrying about future events.

If something can be done to help future events turn out right then do it, rather than worry about it. Then you don’t need to think about it anymore.

Worrying solves nothing only action does, but make sure your actions are based on true rational beliefs.

By worrying about the birthday party your going to put on for your daughter could easily turn what should be a happy occasion into a nightmare, through your worrying about things like whether your house is clean enough, your lawn is mowed, your daughter's dress is good enough, etc.

By fretting and worrying about such things, you are letting other people control your life, thus spoil your day.

Please don’t do that.

By the time the event actually happens, you will be a nervous wreck and unable to enjoy what should have been a happy occasion.

Remember present moments can easily be spoiled by needless worry.

Very few people according to a ton of research enjoy very many present moments to the fullest.

Life is only made up of present moments.

Present thoughts. Present decisions. Present actions.

We have a choice to enjoy our present moments, or not. The decision is ours.

When they're gone, they're gone forever.

Yeah, sure some moments and some days are better than others.

But today do this one thing:

Write or type these words on a piece of paper, and tape it to your mirror, fridge, and computer monitor:

"No matter what I am doing today I am going to make it as enjoyable as I possibly can."

I will ask myself constantly, "how I can make what I'm doing more enjoyable."

I’ll make this my primary focus, each and every day.

This is what the happiest people in the world do. They focus on what is good, and fun in their tasks.

They think about what they have to be thankful for, each and every hour of their lives, and that is why they are so happy.

Want to get on the happy train? Want to start enjoying yourself more? Want to be more productive?

Think:

"The choice is mine. I need to remember:"

"No matter what I am doing today, I am going to make it as enjoyable as I possibly can."

ptncud

12-04-2007, 02:48 AM

Lesson 25: THE FIGHTING PARADOX

Here are the five "negative" behaviors people with anxiety use on a regular basis to try to overcome their anxiety.

They insisted that they should not feel this way.

They tell themselves and kept on insisting that it just isn’t right.

They say: “Why should I be afraid of meeting other people? Why should I be afraid to drive? Why should I be afraid to use an elevator? Why should I be afraid to leave my home?

They fight the feelings of fear and anxiety, by using anger:

They say: "I'm going to get over this fear today! I want to get out of this lifetime jail sentence of terror, even murderers get parole!”

And then they may punch a pillow, kick a wall, or slam something to the floor in anger.

They bemoan the fact that they have anxiety.

They say: "Why must I have this anyway? I will never get any better. I will live in terror until I die.”

They use the fairness Argument:

They say: "It's just not fair! I didn't do anything wrong, it's just not fair.”

They use the deserving Argument:

They say: “I don't deserve to go through this! What did I do to deserve this terrible constant fear! Nobody else I know suffers like this!”

These are all very normal human reactions of suffering, and the incredible misery that anxiety causes.

When you have a problem as severe as this, it is natural that you want to get rid of your fear as quickly as possible.

Dr. Richards did all of these things for many years because he did not know any better.

Unfortunately they never worked. They just deepened his depression.

He said using this line of reasoning is similar to throwing gasoline on a raging forest fire.

Resisting the anxiety, fighting the anxiety, battling the anxiety, attacking the anxiety, and getting aggressive with the anxiety just brings the anxiety on more intensely.

The things you normally expect to do to overcome anxiety only end up making the problem worse.

This is known as a "paradox”.

Aggression, which is a negative emotion only fuels anxiety.

Aggression, struggling and pressuring only make the anxiety more severe.

The more you fight anxiety the stronger anxiety’s grip becomes.

Overcoming anxiety is opposite to what you expect you should have to do. That's why it is so difficult to overcome.

The more that you use your negative emotions to battle anxiety, the deeper and deeper you fall into the vicious cycle of anxiety.

Remember that which you resist, persists.

So what must you do?

You need to do the things opposite of what you think should work.

You need to relax and calm yourself down using the various strategies learned in this course.

You need to use distractions to focus externally, by doing something that gets your mind off of yourself and your problems.

Find distractions that are interesting and enjoyable.

By focusing externally you get involved in the task at hand, and in doing so you get your mind off yourself and your problems.

Also read through the handouts, edit and rephrase them to better fit your situation and learning style.

Work on the ones you have the hardest time believing.

Remember to spend 30 minutes a day on reprogramming your brain.

Like anything else worth doing; it takes time and practice so please be gentle and patient.

You have years of negative self-talk to deal with, so replacing these false self-defeating beliefs about yourself with true rational thoughts will take time.

Persistent and consistent practice is the key to success, but please don’t view this as a competition.

A life-changing journey takes time and patience, so take some time to smell the roses along the way.

It took years of negative self-talk to get to this point so to expect a quick fix is irrational, and will simply backfire on you.

To reverse this process requires time and patience.

Rome was not built in a day. Why would you expect years of negative self-talk to be quickly eliminated from your vocabulary and replaced with the rational truth.

Instead think about how good you will feel when you have tamed this angry beast.

ptncud

12-07-2007, 01:01 AM

Lesson 26 : Building Your Self-confidence

Hi Everyone,

Most of you who suffer from anxiety and depression have a bad habit of putting yourself down, which lowers your self-confidence.

Reading the affirmations below will help build-up your self-esteem and confidence.

Make a point of reading them at least once a week.

You may need to make some of them into neutral statements, so your brain will accept them as true.

As you get better your brain will accept them as they are printed here.

Pat.

“I am a proficient and capable person in my areas of knowledge.”

“I am learning to accept and believe in myself just the way I am.”

“I don't have to change to be a good person.”

“I am a unique and special person just like everyone else.”

“There is no one else like me in the entire universe.”

“I have unique and special talents I can share with others to help them.”

“I am learning to accept all the different parts of my personality.”

“I don't have to prove myself to anyone.”

“I don't have to prove myself to myself.”

“My feelings and my needs are important too.”

“It's OK to think about what I'd like and need.”

“It's not being selfish to seek peace and healing for myself.”

“It's necessary for me to make some time for myself each day.”

“I have many good qualities.”

“I believe in my capabilities, and value the unique talents I can offer the world.”

“I am a person who is sincere, and that is a very positive quality.”

“I trust in my ability to make progress towards my goals.”

“I am a valuable and important person, worthy of the respect of others.”

“When people really get to know me, most of them will like me.”

“There are people who enjoy being around me.”

“They like to hear what I have to say, and know what I think.”

“As I continue to get better, others will perceive me as a good and likable person.”

ptncud

12-13-2007, 01:27 AM

Lesson 27: The Automatic Negative Cycle

Those of us with anxieties are too aware of our nervousness and fears. As a result of these negative, strong, inner anxieties, we tend to be afraid that everyone else can notice, and is aware of our fears too.

Of course when we believe "everyone is looking at us" or "everyone is noticing that we're strange,” we are just adding fuel to the fire.

If I think others see me as being nervous, then I try not to be nervous. That's more pressure I'm putting on myself. The more I try not to be nervous the more nervous I get.

Notice this is another paradox.

By using negative emotions such as pressuring myself or trying not to be nervous, I’m add pressure to the situation and then what happens? I become nervous, I sweat, I turn red, I feel anxious, and I shake.

Why am I doing these things? I've pressured myself not to do these things. This is counterintuitive, and is another paradox. But it is true.

This should remind me of the fighting paradox, because that is essentially what it is.

Pretty soon, if I keep on worrying and pressuring myself, I find myself trapped in that “negative automatic cycle of fear”.

Although this can be difficult to believe at first, my fears and anxieties are nowhere near as apparent to other people as they are to me. In fact I am blowing my anxieties way out of proportion in my own mind.

Most people with anxiety have a very difficult time believing this, because the emotions of fear and anxiety are so very strong,

"If I feel this scared" they reason, "then everyone must notice it."

Especially when someone exhibits physiological effects that accompany their fears, then the fear of other people noticing it is very powerful.

For example people with anxiety who blush, sweat excessively, stumble with some of their words, exhibit facial twitches or movements, have wet or clammy hands, are self-conscious about other body parts they think are ugly or unusual, or think that others can "hear" their hearts rapid beating, assume that these internal, physiological events are noticeable to everyone.

It is many times the case that these physical manifestations are not noticeable to anybody else but them.

It is the anxiety that exists inside us that makes us feel that everyone is noticing our fear and embarrassment.

In some cases our physiological responses are noticeable to other people. Some responses are impossible to hide.

Yet these symptoms are never as bad as we make them out to be, and other people never notice them as much as we think they do.

So even if our nervousness shows we have over exaggerated its importance to other people, because it seems so big and emotionally powerful to us. A substantial body of literature exists to support this theory.

SO WHAT ARE WE ACTUALLY DOING TO OURSELVES?

We are beating ourselves up over our own internal anxiety, which no one else notices anyway.

We are also very good actors, and hide our anxiety very well, much of the time.

Most people are either so busy trying to hide their own insecurities, or are simply going about their daily lives to notice our anxiety.

Dr. Phil says: “If people realized how little people actually thought about them, they wouldn’t worry so much about what others thought.”

This may, in part explain why it is so difficult for us to explain our problem to other people, and why other people including therapists have such a difficult time understanding anxiety.

We look normal, we talk normal, and nobody usually notices our fear and anxiety.

In the cases where they do, it's usually something so small and insignificant, that the other person doesn't even think about it very much.

However we feel it strongly. We know it's there. It is very powerful and emotional to us but it isn't as noticeable to other people.

We need to start seeing ourselves more rationally.

If we don’t we are giving our power to others, and in so doing slow down the healing process.

ptncud

12-17-2007, 03:26 AM

Lesson 28: Life Is A Gift

Today, before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today, before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children, think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house because someone didn't clean or sweep, think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance.

When you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But, before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another, remember that not one of us is without sin, and we all answer to one Maker.

And, when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.

Life is a gift .... Live it, enjoy it, celebrate it, and fulfill it.

bedhead

12-17-2007, 12:58 PM

Hi Ptncud

Thank you so so so much for posting these lessons, I have copied all of them and pasted them into a word document so I can read it at leisure. I'm a bit confused though, at the start of the course you posted a table of contents with 23 lessons. I've just finished copying lesson 28.... some of the lesson titles have changed. Have I got confused somewhere?

Mel :D

ptncud

12-24-2007, 05:13 AM

Hey bedhead sry about that. Pat the creator of the course revises it every time he sends it out. Since i took it he has added in 7 more lessons, mainly the inspirational story ones. He just finished sending out the revised course and i believe its 32 or 33 lessons.
take care and Happy Holidays, John

ptncud

12-24-2007, 05:15 AM

Hi everyone,

I believe Dr. Phil’s “Life Laws” tie in well with the theme of the course. For that reason I have decided to include them as part of the course. I would recommend that you read them over at least once a week until you have them firmly embedded in your subconscious mind so that they will never be forgotten.

I have added my interpretation strategy in red at the bottom of each Life Law.

Pat

Lesson 29: Life’s Laws by Dr. Phil

#1: You either get it, or you don't.

Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.

In simple terms this means taking control of your life.

#2: You create your own experience.

Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for you life.

In simple terms this means accepting the fact that you are personally responsible for what happens to you.

#3: People do what works.

Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

In simple terms this means that there is always a reason to do or not do anything, so take the time to identify and study what the payoffs are for the decisions you make. Are they really in your best interest in the long run?

Or are you sacrificing long-term gain for a short-term pay-off?

Are you allowing others to control your actions, and if so what are their motives? Do they really have your best interest at heat?

Are you a people pleaser, if so what are the rewards for you? In doing so, may you not be sacrificing long-term happiness for that pat on the back? Or are you avoiding confrontation, if so why? What is the payoff?

#4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.

Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everyone in it.

In simple terms this means that unless you acknowledge what you have been doing in the past is often not in best interest you will never change what you are doing. If you don’t see the behavior as being self-defeating and counterproductive you will continue to behave in the same way in the future as you have in the past.

#5: Life rewards action.

Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.

In simple terms this means that wishing things were different solves nothing. You must carefully study your choices, and then follow through with your decision.

#6: There is no reality, only perception.

Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.

In simple terms this means everyone perceives a given situation according to his or her personal life experiences. In other words “what you perceive you believe, but it may be based on false information”. How reliable is the source of your information?

Two people rarely see the same situation exactly the same, and in fact one may see it as being totally positive while the other sees it as being totally negative.

Is what you believe actually true or is a lie that you were told as a child by a well-meaning parent or minister to protect you, such as “sex is dirty”?

You may also have come to the conclusion that no matter what you do you will never get better and as a result tell yourself “I will never get better so why try”. In saying this are you not actually setting yourself up for failure?

#7: Life is managed; it is not cured.

Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.

In simple terms this means that as Dr. Phil says, “learn to take charge of your life.”

#8: We teach people how to treat us.

Strategy: Own, rather than complain about how people treat you.

In simple terms stop complaining about that fact that you are being mistreated and take the necessary steps to improve the situation. If you have been a doormat all your life, and have let everyone walk all over you its time to stand up for your rights.

#9: There is power in forgiveness.

Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.

You need to forgive others not for them, but for yourself. Holding a grudge and being resentful and angry hurts no one but you. It solves nothing. This does not mean you forget, but it does means mean you must forgive the person at least in your own mind to get closure and move on with your life.

#10: You have to name it before you can claim it.

Strategy: Until you admit you have a problem you will never change your behavior.

The bottom line is that until you admit to yourself that an existing behavior is counterproductive, you will never change that behavior until you admit it is creating a problem for you.

ptncud

12-24-2007, 01:06 PM

Hey guys im just going to send out the last two lessons b/c they are the inspirational/health improvement type of lessons.

Lesson 30: A Stress Busting Plan

Hi everyone,

Below is an article that I believe ties in well with the theme of the course. Hopefully it will give you some ideas on how you can reduce the stress in your life.

Pat

Having a Hectic Day? Try These Guaranteed Stress Busters!

If you are having a hectic day, you certainly aren't alone. There is no question about it -- the pace of modern life has gotten extremely intense. In fact, it seems as if that Old Chinese curse is still very much alive and well: “May you live in the most interesting of times.”

Though a certain amount of stress can actually be a positive thing, internalizing too much of it will eventually destroy both your physical and mental health. But unless you are planning to move to Tibet and become a monk, it is likely that you will continue to experience high levels of stress in your everyday life. The good news is that you can learn to rise above it. In fact, we’ve got some guaranteed stress busters that can help you manage your anxiety before it starts to get the better of you.

From healthy eating to breathing exercises, these tips will help you take a step in the right direction. With a little practice, you can learn to find an inner sense of calm in the midst of life’s most stressful storms.

Stress-Busters Guaranteed To Help You “Get A Grip:”

Grab A Healthy Snack: Feeding your body the right kind of foods is an essential way to manage stress. Processed foods and sugary candy bars will make you feel strung out. So instead of heading for the nearest vending machine at the first sign of trouble, come to the office with some healthy snacks like fruits and vegetables in hand. During hectic situations, people have a tendency to skip meals. Try to avoid this if at all possible.

Drink Some Green Tea: Just because it is called a “coffee break” doesn’t mean you can’t grab a mug of green tea or flavored water instead. If you are already feeling nervous energy coursing through those veins, you might want to keep an eye on your caffeine intake. When you gulp down too much java, it is bound to put you on edge. Green tea has less caffeine than coffee, so it might be a better alternative. And instead of resorting to sugary sodas later in the day, add a slice of lime or a lemon wedge to a glass of water. Your nerves will thank you.

Make Time For Exercise: When you don’t think you need exercise, is probably when your body actually needs it the most. Make it a priority to fit exercise into your schedule at least three to four times per week for at least 30 to 45 minutes per session. This will help keep you in shape and blow off steam.

Sleep On It: Listen to your mother and “get a good night’s sleep.” A proper amount of rest will make it easier to cope with whatever challenges life throws your way tomorrow. Most people need at least seven to eight hours of sleep every night in order to function at their best.

Unfortunately, anxiety is one of the leading causes of insomnia. If you find yourself tossing and turning at night, try using relaxing music to help reclaim those precious Z’s. Get yourself into a regular sleep pattern by going to bed at the same time every night. Schedule your bedtime as you would an important appointment, and try to stick to it.

Just Breathe: As the lyrics to the popular song by Anna Nalick wisely advise, “Cradle your head in your hands and breathe... just breathe.” As simple as it sounds, using deep-breathing exercises can be one of your greatest weapons in the war against stress. Step away from the stressful situation! Close your eyes and breathe deeply and quietly for a few minutes. A mere few minutes of concentrating on your breath can really help you to decompress.

Meditation: Believe it or not, meditation isn’t just for Buddhist monks. Though the concept is foreign to most of us in the West, meditation has been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety and put us in touch with our inner strength. If you are new to meditation, you may want to work with a group. Many gyms, churches and civic centers offer meditation classes. If you can’t find a meditation course in your area, there are plenty of guided meditations on DVD and CD for you to choose from.

Get Organized: Are you always trying to get “organized?” Do you frequently find yourself staying up all night on April 14 to finish your tax return? Well, those kind of situations are indeed very stressful, but they are also completely avoidable. Planning, scheduling and organizing your time may seem more stressful at first, but it will make your life much easier to manage in the long run.

Build A Support Network: Being in isolation actually intensifies your stress. Don’t try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Ask for help from your friends and relatives -- that’s what they are there for. And, if you are looking to build your support network, why not join a support group? It is a great way to make new friends and meet people facing the same difficulties.

Give Yourself A Break: Be sure to give yourself little rewards and schedule ample time for fun. It is always easier to cope with stress when you have something to look forward to.

Pamper Yourself: Set aside at least one hour a week to pamper your body. Get a manicure or a pedicure -- or spend an hour soaking in a bubble bath. At least once a month, consider having some bodywork done, such as a massage, an exfoliation or another kind of spa treatment. Not only will you be able to soothe away your stress, but you'll also let your body know that you appreciate all it does for you.

Keep That Sense of Humor. As Oscar Wilde once said, “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Keeping a sense of humor about things and not taking yourself too seriously is one of the most effective coping strategies available. Remember that wherever there is laughter, there is still hope.

Seek Professional Help Sometimes all of these strategies may not be enough. If you have been suffering from panic attacks or experiencing high levels of anxiety that just won’t go away, seeking professional help may be your best option. Remember, there is nothing to be ashamed about. It takes a strong person to admit he or she needs help. A professional will help you explore your options for making your life manageable again.

ptncud

12-24-2007, 01:09 PM

Lesson 31: Wrap-up

Hi everyone,

It is my hope that the course has been of benefit to you.

Remember persistent and consistent practice is the key to success in reprogramming the brain so I would recommend that you continue to read over the course material daily. You will likely find that reviewing the course material on a regular basis will help to firmly entrench the information into your subconscious brain where it will not be easily forgotten.

I would also recommend that you practice the various coping skills that you have learned throughout the course. The course has been mostly cognitive in nature because I have offered it on the internet. Ideally the course would be more helpful if offered in a group setting where you could practice the various coping skills learned in a safe environment before taking them out into the real world. If you have the opportunity to join a support group I would strongly recommend you do so.

Here are some activities that Dr. Richards uses at his clinic in Arizona and recommends for group meetings.

Pat

Group Activities

Scripting ( reading a script with others, i.e. , "Friends" , "Seinfeld")

Group conversations about general matters ( the weather, movies, TV, hobbies, interests, likes, dislikes, etc.)

The Circle of Death: This is a paradox; it really doesn't kill you.

Introductions - formal and informal

"Call on you questions"

Pass the Conversation

Presenting your topic

Mingling, conversations, small talk, 1:1 small talk, 3-4 person group mingling

Walking into a conversation, ending a conversation

Conversing across the room

Projecting your voice (calmly)

Using a microphone: stationary and moving around

Using a telephone in front of others

Using a loud-speaker system across a store

HOUSE SHOUT

"Pillow Talk" While standing in a group, one person starts the small talk conversation and then throws the pillow to someone else who continues the conversation, and then throws the pillow to someone else, etc. ANYTHING a person says is OK, and its OK to change the subject. This is just small talk. REMEMBER, small talk is called small talk because it is SMALL.

Impromptu skits

Planned out skits / presentations

Impromptu presentations / talks

Karaoke / sing, dance, hum and sing

Barking like a dog, Whine like a dog, Meowing like a cat

The idea is to make animal noises on purpose. The group can all do it together. Any noise is OK. You are learning to do something silly in feeling less self-conscious.

"Game Show" questions

Controversy Conversations / Stating your own opinion

Answering impromptu questions

ROLE PLAYS

Returning merchandise to a store

Saying "NO" calmly

Acting out a segment of a movie

I have been receiving health tips daily over the last little while. I thought I would copy some of them out and put them in this final lesson.

To Eat Eggs Or Not To Eat Eggs.

To eat eggs or not to eat eggs. You don't have to avoid them entirely. Eggs are high in protein, iron, B vitamins and minerals, but also contain cholesterol. The American Heart Association recommends you limit your cholesterol intake to 300 milligrams a day or less and to consume no more than 3 to 4 egg yolks per week. Since the cholesterol is only present in the yolk, consuming the egg white is fine.

Tackle The To-Do List.

Tackle the to-do list. If you don't want to spend the whole weekend washing the car or the windows or cutting the grass, take advantage of the daylight and get at least one task done during the week. All of these activities burn a significant number of calories, and getting one or two out of the way means you might actually have time to enjoy a baseball game on Saturday.

Take It Outside.

Take it outside. Outdoor grilling is one of the best ways to cook healthfully, since you don't need any butter or oil to keep food from sticking -- and what's already there drips off! Skip boring old burgers and dogs and opt for lean fish or poultry, and just about any vegetable or fruit you can find. Top of your healthy meal with a bowl of fresh fruit and low-fat yogurt.

What Motivates You To Lose Weight?

What motivates you to lose weight? Every one of us is different. What works for one person may not be the solution for another. Choose what motivates you to lose those extra pounds -- the old clothes you used to wear, that upcoming special event, your health, your family or simply your new outlook on life. Think of what motivates you and make it work to your advantage.

When It Comes To Vegetables, Fresh Are The Most Natural, Healthy Selection.

When it comes to vegetables, fresh are the most natural, healthy selection. Canned vegetables are an option, but they may contain a high amount of sodium to help preserve shelf life. Choose canned vegetables with no added salt. Frozen vegetables are another alternative. They don't contain preservatives, but remember to choose the packages without sauces (sauces tend to have large amounts of sodium).

Avocadoes Are Nutritional Powerhouses!

Avocadoes are nutritional powerhouses! The American Diabetic Association even touts them as nutrition superstars and America's answer to the Mediterranean diet's olive oil. Avocado is one of the best sources of monounsaturated fat, known to lower "bad" LDL cholesterol, raise heart-healthy HDL cholesterol and help stabilize blood sugar levels.

Research Suggest Taste Is The Number One Reason For Food Choices.

Consumer research studies suggest taste is the number one reason people choose one food over another. Would you agree? For most Americans, enjoying the taste of food is equally as important as the nutritional value. Nutrition and flavor do go hand in hand, and you don't need to sacrifice one for the other. The challenge lies in making healthy choices that satisfy both!

Starting Your Day With A Latte?

Starting your day with a latte? You're also starting off with extra calories. Some of those specialty coffee drinks can start your day with upwards of 250 calories. They often are high in calories, sugar and fat. Skip the heavy cream or whole milk - try non-dairy creamer or fat free milk. Try non-calorie sweetener to save some calories. And don?t forget to choose decaf!

Keep It In The Family!

Keep it in the family! We know how important exercise is, so get the family involved. After work or school, get the gang together for a brisk walk or bike ride around the neighborhood. Have a pet? Take him or her along. By making exercise a family affair, your activity level will increase and you'll get to spend quality time together.

Fight Aging By Paying Attention To Your Surroundings.

Fight aging by paying attention to your surroundings. "Free radicals" are oxygen molecules that have become damaged due to factors such as cigarette smoke, air pollution, ultraviolet light, pesticides, radiation, emotional stress and excessive exercise. The body can defend itself against free radicals through antioxidants!

Reach For That Glass Of Orange Juice.

Reach for that glass of orange juice. Studies suggest the most commonly consumed nutrient, vitamin C, helps to reduce both the physical and psychological effects of stress. Vitamin C is found in fresh fruits (oranges, grapefruits, strawberries, cantaloupes) and vegetables (broccoli, tomatoes, parsley, and asparagus).

The Ins And Outs Of Weight Loss!

When you get more familiar with the ins and outs of weight loss, you realize there is more to shedding pounds than the mere foods you consume. How your meals are prepared is equally important. Become familiar with healthy and classic cooking methods such as the French style of cooking lean poultry and meats "en papillote," which means cooking inside tin foil. This method is easy, clean, and low fat since no additional cooking fat is needed to retain moisture. Great on the grill too!

Pick Your Own Fruits And Vegetables.

Do the shopping al fresco. Pick your own strawberries or blueberries at a local farm and leave with a tasty cereal topper or low-cal dessert (add a dollop of fat-free whipped topping). If there are no berry farms in your area, swing by a farmer's market and select the freshest veggies for dinner.

The Absorption Of Vitamin Supplements.

The absorption of vitamin supplements depends on "bioavailability," or ultimately how well your body can use these nutrients. Save time, money, and effort by remembering that heat, oxygen, and light all affect supplement potency. If you take them, store supplements in a cool, dry place, in opaque containers that minimize exposure to light.

Cruise Ships Are Like Floating Buffets!

Cruise ships are like floating buffets! Food is usually served 24 hours a day, which could tempt anyone to stray. Stick as closely as possible to your usual eating schedule and avoid cruising the buffet table! Remember, just because the food is there, doesn't mean you have to eat it. Decide what you're going to eat ahead of time. You'll be less likely to overdo it.

Buddy Up.

Buddy up. It always helps to enlist a friend to share your activity or act as a helper. Support is one of the most important factors in exercise adherence, as someone else can serve as a reminder of your goals. Assistance can come from a friend who joins you for an early morning run or your daughter counting your number of laps in the pool.