Why Oh WHY!

[str8trippin]

I want so desperately to make it through ONE day feeling great, and it just doesn't feel like it's ever going to happen. Yesterday is the closest I've gotten...for the MOST part, it was a pretty good day. But today the pressure in my head, clogged and crackly ears and dizziness is back full force, I barely made it through the day at work, didn't get anything done, couldn't focus on anything other than my head and now I'm at home unable to relax and feeling extremely tired, unable to stop yawning, and feeling like I'm having a hard time breathing. I'm able to take a deep breath without any problem,I guess it's just a sensation of my chest being heavy or tight or something. I still have an entire week before I get to see my new doctor, and it feels like it's going to be the longest week ever. Overall, I've felt pretty decent lately...no panic attacks and way less physical symptoms than I was having, but it definitely seems like it's fluctuating, especially with the health anxiety...and the littlest thing triggers it. I'm trying to focus on other things, talk my anxiety down...all the things I usually do, but it doesn't want to let go and then the health anxiety kicks into high gear. I feel like I have no one to go to. My Mom lives with me, and she's great...she understands because she's been through some anxiety herself, but she doesn't really know what to do for me either. Health care wise, I'm stuck going to the ER and that always ends up feeling more embarassing than anything else, even though I desperately want the reassurance that I'm okay. Ah!! Someone talk me down. I'm so tired of feeling this way.

[majesty]

That's like how my week is going. I've been having less physical symptoms than before but I still get the odd headache or muscle twitch. Today I had a mini anxiety attack, my head felt empty then my heart started beating fast. But I guess I'm so used to this now and I know it's only anxiety that I don't panic. You just got to remind yourself that you've had these symptoms before and nothing bad has happened. It will pass eventually.

Earlier on in my stages of anxiety I would call the ambulance out because I just needed that reassurance that I was ok. But now I'm at that stage where I am my own reassurance.

[str8trippin]

That's like how my week is going. I've been having less physical symptoms than before but I still get the odd headache or muscle twitch. Today I had a mini anxiety attack, my head felt empty then my heart started beating fast. But I guess I'm so used to this now and I know it's only anxiety that I don't panic. You just got to remind yourself that you've had these symptoms before and nothing bad has happened. It will pass eventually.

Earlier on in my stages of anxiety I would call the ambulance out because I just needed that reassurance that I was ok. But now I'm at that stage where I am my own reassurance.

I've been to the ER two different times, and left feeling like a complete idiot, all though they did an EKG the second time that was reassuring as it came back looking totally normal. I'm still in the process of working to obtain a clean bill of health...I've spent my entire life avoiding doctors like the plague, so I just want to know that I'm healthy and be reassured that I have nothing to worry about other than coping with my anxiety. I keep trying to go through all the positive affirmations I usually do...but I've burst into tears like three times since I got home from work two hours ago! I hate when I'm like this...especially when I've been feeling good and all of a sudden WHAM, it's back.

[MrsJ88]

I want so desperately to make it through ONE day feeling great, and it just doesn't feel like it's ever going to happen. Yesterday is the closest I've gotten...for the MOST part, it was a pretty good day. But today the pressure in my head, clogged and crackly ears and dizziness is back full force, I barely made it through the day at work, didn't get anything done, couldn't focus on anything other than my head and now I'm at home unable to relax and feeling extremely tired, unable to stop yawning, and feeling like I'm having a hard time breathing. I'm able to take a deep breath without any problem,I guess it's just a sensation of my chest being heavy or tight or something. I still have an entire week before I get to see my new doctor, and it feels like it's going to be the longest week ever. Overall, I've felt pretty decent lately...no panic attacks and way less physical symptoms than I was having, but it definitely seems like it's fluctuating, especially with the health anxiety...and the littlest thing triggers it. I'm trying to focus on other things, talk my anxiety down...all the things I usually do, but it doesn't want to let go and then the health anxiety kicks into high gear. I feel like I have no one to go to. My Mom lives with me, and she's great...she understands because she's been through some anxiety herself, but she doesn't really know what to do for me either. Health care wise, I'm stuck going to the ER and that always ends up feeling more embarassing than anything else, even though I desperately want the reassurance that I'm okay. Ah!! Someone talk me down. I'm so tired of feeling this way.

I feel ya. I get so mad because I want to have ONE NORMAL DAY!! Oh what I'd give for just a good day!

[majesty]

I've been to the ER two different times, and left feeling like a complete idiot, all though they did an EKG the second time that was reassuring as it came back looking totally normal. I'm still in the process of working to obtain a clean bill of health...I've spent my entire life avoiding doctors like the plague, so I just want to know that I'm healthy and be reassured that I have nothing to worry about other than coping with my anxiety. I keep trying to go through all the positive affirmations I usually do...but I've burst into tears like three times since I got home from work two hours ago! I hate when I'm like this...especially when I've been feeling good and all of a sudden WHAM, it's back.

Sometimes I'll just cry for no reason but I think it's because I'm not used to feeling like this and miss when having normal days. From what you've said it sounds like anxiety and does what it does. It makes you think you have something other than anxiety, which is the horrible part of it. Ask your doctor to send you to cognitive behaviour therapy.

[missmello]

I've gone to the ER so many times in the last few years I can't even keep count. Every time I was convinced I was dying, and every time they sent me home saying nothing was wrong. LOL it's a little funny looking back on it especially now, since I'm battling anxiety again. You'd think after years of going through this BS I'd be able to convince myself that I'm healthy but NOPE. Gotta love it..

I've taught myself not to run to the ER every time I get into a panic anymore. I just remind myself that I've felt this way 100 times before and have been through so many tests you'd think I was a guinea pig in a science experiment. Every time the feelings are no different, and they can't do anything for me at the hospital except slap me with a nice big bill. Fight the urge to go... it may take a while for your panic to pass, but it will, like it always does.

Just remind yourself that yeah, your symptoms SUCK, but they are just annoyances and can not hurt you.

[str8trippin]

Obviously, I made it through another night! I ended up going to the store, just to get out of the house and walk around and try and relax and my best friend ended up calling, who lives miles and miles and miles away from me at the moment, and I had a really good phone conversation with him that was pretty insightful. He's been going through a lot of the same things I have, it seems, and I think we were kind of able to talk each other down. And it was just good to have a really genuine talk with someone...the last few times we've talked I don't think either of us had the energy to have a real conversation, so it was nice to just sit there and let a lot of things out. I never even made it into the store! They closed before I got a chance. At any rate, I'm feeling okay this morning and if I can get through the day feeling okay I feel like I'm doing pretty good. I have a dinner party thing to go to later and I woke up already debating in my head whether or not I wanted to go and then decided I'm just going to force myself to go and not let the anxiety control my decision because I know perfectly well I'll have a good time once I'm there. I think the main thing worrying me is driving home in the dark (it's about a 30 minute drive)...but I don't have to work tomorrow, so in the event that I'm that uncomfortable I guess I could just stay the night with a friend. Anyhow, thank you for the replies...you all here are my voice of reason so much lately, so I genuinely appreciate it!