New Here. New To Anxiety.

[coreyshaw]

Hello all. My name is Corey, I am 24, and live in Northern Virginia near DC.
I have always been a worrier, ever since I was little. My worry of choice used to be UFO's. It was so bad that I would never look up at the sky at night in fear of seeing something strange. I remember one time when I was about 10, I walked into the living room and there was an cheesy advertisement on the TV for some local car dealership and the dialogue they decided to use was "UFO's have been spotted in your area." Now, looking back, they were using the term 'UFO' as an acronym for something but all I heard was the above phrase. I was up the entire night scared out of my mind.
As I grew older, I still worried. About money, about grades, about tests, about pretty much anything one could worry about, but it never really affected me, it was just a general worry. But lately, things have gone beyond worrying. I don't know if it's anxiety, but it's all I can think that would explain how I've been feeling.
I got married this past April. And before the "are you sure you were ready to get married," type questions arise, let me assure you that I love my Wife very much, we've been together for 5 years, lived together for 2 years, and I never had a second thought about marrying her. The main symptoms of my anxiety are a slight feeling of doom, worrying, mind going straight to the worst-case-scenario (i.e. my head hurts, I must have a brain tumor) and the most prevalent one is this empty/nauseous feeling, like I may be sick.
The first time I noticed this is the night of my bachelor party. My brother-in-law was going to be there and there were going to be strippers there. He knew that, my Wife knew that, yet it still had me nervous. I was fine until he showed up and I started getting very sick feeling. I barely even got to enjoy my bachelor party. It wasn't that bad until the day of the wedding when I felt sick all day up until my Wife started walking down the aisle and I was fine. I wrote that off as normal wedding day jitters. But over the past couple of months, things have gone a little crazy.
Im getting that sick feeling at least once or twice a day. It's only when I start to think. About anything. When I look back on old times with friends, when I look to the future, at random times. It's really hard to narrow it down. One thing that is really worrying me is the 2.5 hour flight to Orlando in August for our honeymoon. I was flying back from London a few years ago and went through some crazy turbulence that basically ruined flying for me. I have flown a couple of times since then and I was definitely very tense but I feel like this time is more magnified. It's so bad that I was driving by the airport the other day and started feeling sick. I finally went to the Doctor and he gave me a prescription for Klonopin for my flight. I haven't taken any yet to see how it will work for me.
All of this is really hard to put into words. I try and tell myself that 'everything happens for a reason' and 'enjoy life' and all of that. I try deep breathing. But I can't seem to shake this. I'm hoping this is a phase but I fear it isn't.
I have thought about going to talk to someone, but I wanted to try to fix this on my own first. And I'd really not like to be on meds unless absolutely necessary. I've never liked taking meds for anything.
Does anyone have any ideas as to what this might be or how to make it stop?

[TheFuzz]

Hey Corey. I'm down in NOVa every weekend. Not that that means anything, but... Anyway, I can relate to the flying and the stomach woes. Anxiety goes right to my stomach. Not fun. I started out with random stomachaches, too. I became non-functional for a number of years, gradually getting worse to the point where I had to quit my job. Don't let that happen to you. Trying to deal with anxiety on your own is nearly impossible. Please seek out a therapist trained in addressing anxiety disorders. It's fine to be anti-meds. I was, too, and still am to a point. But I caved to try to save a relationship. The meds help somewhat. I've never had Klonopin so I can't speak to how it might affect you. My emergency med is ativan. I would suggest taking the Klonopin a few times during panicky/anxious episodes to see how you react. That will go a long way toward settling your mind during your flight. If you know the med works and how it affects you, you'll be more confident in taking it if you need it without worrying how you'll feel as a result. You should also get an all-clear from a doctor to make sure there isn't another underlying condition that could be causing your symptoms. In the meantime, some Zofran can help your stomach - it's an anti-nausea med. I've taken it a number of times and didn't have any side effects. It's a tiny pill that you dissolve in your mouth. Not the greatest tasting thing, but certainly tolerable. Prescription only, though. Peppermint tea (hot) is another go-to remedy for me. Definitely helps my stomach. It basically slows down or stops the spasms in your g.i. tract that can be from gas or upset stomach.

You might want to enlist the help of your wife, also. Having an ally in this will be extremely helpful. Have her read some articles on anxiety to get a better idea of what you're dealing with and how it affects you. My girlfriend is great with helping me when I'm having anxiety or a panic attack. Sometimes she even tickles me (nearly to death!) to help take my mind off it. One word of caution, though - don't allow her to become your "safe person". That will only cause more anxiety when she's not around/available. You need to know that you can successfully deal with the anxiety on your own without using someone as a crutch.

As far as flying to Orlando, note that you will not be going over water or mountains, so that should reduce the likelihood of bad turbulence. Also know that turbulence is not dangerous, just uncomfortable. The plane will not fall out of the sky due to turbulence. It's exactly like going over bumps in a car. Same concept, same thing happening. If you google pilot flying anxiety, you should find a website where a pilot explains how flying works for those of us who are scared to fly. He even has a "get over your flying fear" online (free) course. I also found it helpful to watch YouTube videos of flights - mostly takeoffs and landings - to prepare for my cross-country flight. The fear for me is being trapped on the plane with no escape rather than the bumps, but it's still a paralyzing fear. The flight from DC to Orlando should be pretty short - less than 2.5 hours, I'd think. Instead of focusing on the flight, focus on the stuff you will get to do when you're there. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but what you focus on will grow. Just remember, the plane will not fall out of the sky. It can lose power to all engines and it still will not plummet to Earth (all those action movies be damned!). Can you take a test flight before your trip? Maybe get on a shuttle to NYC and back home? Sometimes you have to get creative. Some airports offer flights for those who are scared. Check IAD, BWI, etc.

[trinidiva]

Flying is one of my biggest fears. I definitely agree with the last post....look up the fear of flying free course.....it really helps. It puts everything in perspective and you can print it out and take it with you on your flight. Turbulence- if you print out the material....you will see that it says that flying in the early morning (6-8) is usually the best time and the least likely time for major turbulence. I also got a flying sedative prescribed and ended up not really needing it.......

[Marlow]

Stress has a weird way of causing this. Even though you are happy with your wife and everything is great, the fact is, it was stressful. Like you I am a worrier; I used to have to have my parents in the next room watching T.V. to fall asleep at night knowing they were blocking the door from buglers. I often would not face the direction of a nearby cemetery for some weird reason. I feel like the anxiety finds something to be fearful of because of the stress and you put it in tangible things to rationalize it (like the planes, or UFO's). You seem like a strong person, you will be fine once you settle in to the new changes in your life.

Marlow