Uneasiness, fear, negative and confused!

[izzeru]

Hellooo i just registered here so hello :)

I just wanted to post this get some ideas as I am so confused with how I am feeling lately. I'll try my BEST to describe this, because it is extremely hard to put these feelings into words. Bear with me, I might not make sense sometimes :P

It is not all the time, but quite often I get random periods of uneasiness, fear, confusion, negative feelings stuff like that. I don't even know if they are the right words but that's all I can think of at the moment. However, it affects me a lot. Say for instance I have just found a new interest (which is rare for me these days) such as a new TV show or a good book, it's kinda like these negative feelings in my mind will switch on. Now that I have these weird feelings, the tv show I am watching will become related to these feelings and I'll get bad feelings about the TV show; that it's not right or it's bad or something like that. Therefore, I stop watching the show or the book or whatever. This really frustrates me because it's like if I find something I am interested in I have to constantly force myself to think good thoughts and good memories that the new interest will be related to these memories and good thoughts..

So weird.. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it gets too much and my mind is full of clutter and I end up feeling scared, my heart beats faster and I have anxious feelings and butterflies in my stomach. I sometimes cry and it feels like im going to pass out -.- I just can't concentrate at all because everything around seems bad or I am just scared of something but I don't know what.

I wanted to get a tattoo, but i'm scared that these negative feelings and thoughts will ruin it for me. I can imagine having to live with that tattoo, looking at it and feeling anxious.. and then because it's on my body, everything I do will trigger these feelings.. Wow its so complicated.. I dont even know :P

can someone help?
thanks x

[kelliesean]

Hellooo i just registered here so hello :)

I just wanted to post this get some ideas as I am so confused with how I am feeling lately. I'll try my BEST to describe this, because it is extremely hard to put these feelings into words. Bear with me, I might not make sense sometimes :P

It is not all the time, but quite often I get random periods of uneasiness, fear, confusion, negative feelings stuff like that. I don't even know if they are the right words but that's all I can think of at the moment. However, it affects me a lot. Say for instance I have just found a new interest (which is rare for me these days) such as a new TV show or a good book, it's kinda like these negative feelings in my mind will switch on. Now that I have these weird feelings, the tv show I am watching will become related to these feelings and I'll get bad feelings about the TV show; that it's not right or it's bad or something like that. Therefore, I stop watching the show or the book or whatever. This really frustrates me because it's like if I find something I am interested in I have to constantly force myself to think good thoughts and good memories that the new interest will be related to these memories and good thoughts..

So weird.. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it gets too much and my mind is full of clutter and I end up feeling scared, my heart beats faster and I have anxious feelings and butterflies in my stomach. I sometimes cry and it feels like im going to pass out -.- I just can't concentrate at all because everything around seems bad or I am just scared of something but I don't know what.

I wanted to get a tattoo, but i'm scared that these negative feelings and thoughts will ruin it for me. I can imagine having to live with that tattoo, looking at it and feeling anxious.. and then because it's on my body, everything I do will trigger these feelings.. Wow its so complicated.. I dont even know :P

can someone help?
thanks x

Hi Izzeru :)

Yes your symptoms sound very much like what many of us are experiencing here on this forum!

You will find a lot of support and advice here :-)

[str8trippin]

Welcome to the forum! This kind of thing really is hard to put into words. I know when I was first experiencing severe anxiety I was having trouble even formulating words to express my thoughts...I think part of it was the anxiety and part of it was that anxiety and related feelings are just really hard to explain to someone else and have them make sense. Rest assured though, this forum is great, because people here can actually relate to what you're going through. I understand the feelings of confusion and uneasiness. Since my anxiety kicked into high gear I can't even figure out most of the time if I actually like or want to be doing the things I am. It's very frustrating...and I totally relate to the whole mind full of clutter feeling. The best advice I have is to be easy on yourself...take it one day at a time. That's all any of us can do is just take it all one day at a time and do the best we know how. Look up some relaxation exercises...breathing and meditation...those are very helpful for me...or just doing something else relaxing like taking a bath. Also, sometimes when I'm feeling conflicted about something in particular (like you mentioned, watching a particular TV show because of the weird feelings you get, even though it's something you like and want to do), I just force myself to do it anyway, even if it makes me uncomfortable and after that helps me to realize that it's in my head and not the actual act of whatever I am doing that is causing the anxiety. Hope this forum is able to help you find some reassurance and suggestions!!

[JennJenn]

This is so me too and I just cannot put it into words like you managed to. Awesome to know I am not alone.

[anxiousashley]

I can understand that! I go through a lot of this myself at times. It also sounds to me a lot like depression, which can go hand in hand with anxiety. Have you ever been to a doctor about these feelings?

[izzeru]

Wow thanks for replying lol. I thought I was the only one because it sounds so strange :P
And yeah I told a doctor about it but he said he didn't quite understand and he didn't think it was much of a problem x

[anxiousashley]

Wow thanks for replying lol. I thought I was the only one because it sounds so strange :P
And yeah I told a doctor about it but he said he didn't quite understand and he didn't think it was much of a problem x

I have found that you will have that with some doctors. General practitioners don't always understand anxiety. They'll do a medical work-up and if they find no health cause they'll tend to think you're fine. But it does sound like you're going through something. If you can, maybe look into speaking to a therapist; they would at least understand you a bit better. In the mean time, do some research on anxiety and depression and how to manage it. It would be a good starting point for you. There are a lot of source available online. My favorites are anxieties.com and anxietyguru.net.

[mglover92]

You dont sound depressed to me. At least not clinically depressed since you are still gaining interest in hobbies which is really good. There will always be a couple days when you feel like crap but they go away the next day once you start over. In fact I went through this sort of thing not to long ago. I would want to do something that interest me and then immediately I would get scared or judge what I want to do and look at it as a bad thing. This is all anxiety. Anxiety makes you question EVERYTHING. They key is to just DO THOSE THINGS and NOT THINK AB0UT IT or question it. It goes away in time.

[kelliesean]

When I first got into therapy I was desperately trying to explain to my dr what was going on w me.. But nothing justified what I was going through.. And he said "some things one just can't put into words.." So true!!

I remember having weird feelings when I "should" be enjoying.. Like I was in Disney world when I was 12.. And I clearly remember a feeling coming over me .. "Do I like this? Is this even fun for me??" I still do this occasionally.. And I know it's related to anxiety.. Bc I have that overwhelmed over analyzing feeling.. Grrrr

[str8trippin]

This happened to me recently, too. I've been doing theatre and performing arts since I was little, and it's honestly what I love most and wish I could spend my whole life doing every day, but when my anxiety peaked at the beginning of this month, I was in the middle of doing a show and the whole time all I could think was how awful it was and how much I wanted to be over, and was constantly questioning whether or not I really love it as much as I thought I did. Well, I do, I think the anxiety just becomes so predominant that it tries to take control of everything. I over analyze everything...I think a lot of us here do...seems to be common among people who have anxiety.

[JennJenn]

This happened to me recently, too. I've been doing theatre and performing arts since I was little, and it's honestly what I love most and wish I could spend my whole life doing every day, but when my anxiety peaked at the beginning of this month, I was in the middle of doing a show and the whole time all I could think was how awful it was and how much I wanted to be over, and was constantly questioning whether or not I really love it as much as I thought I did. Well, I do, I think the anxiety just becomes so predominant that it tries to take control of everything. I over analyze everything...I think a lot of us here do...seems to be common among people who have anxiety.

I am with you one this one too. I am a scrap booker and I literally was ready to sell my whole get up because I felt that I really was over it. Been doing it for 20 years! Shows that I watch weekly I lost all interest in and most are still on my DVR because its like I have lost interest. I will not erase them because I know this is a anxiety phase. That's what I am calling it... a phase because we will all get back to our former selves. EVENTUALLY! :)

[anxiousashley]

I am with you one this one too. I am a scrap booker and I literally was ready to sell my whole get up because I felt that I really was over it. Been doing it for 20 years! Shows that I watch weekly I lost all interest in and most are still on my DVR because its like I have lost interest. I will not erase them because I know this is a anxiety phase. That's what I am calling it... a phase because we will all get back to our former selves. EVENTUALLY! :)

OMG JennJenn me too! I am an avid scrapbooker and card maker! It's my passion but when my anxiety flared about about two months ago, I haven't scrapped a single thing. The few cards I made (I had to for people's birthday) I had to force myself to do. It wasn't pleasant for me and it really made me sad. I just this week got more photos to scrapbook and am going to try and work on some stuff. Hopefully this weekend. With starting Lexapro about three weeks ago I found I am feeling quite a bit better in general. So we will see what happens! But you are right, it is just a phase! I feel like maybe I am finally starting to come out of mine. Here's hoping!