Anxiety Tactics

[kellyrina]

Hello all!
I was simply wondering if anyone else on here can relate to how I feel and if so, what're your suggestions or thoughts.

I'm just really, incredibly anxious all the time. Before certain events (interviews, doing anything for the first time, going to restaurants, about to order at restaurants) I get really nervous. I feel sick, I can't eat and I just get ridiculously nervous, to the point where I don't want to do the thing anymore even because it's just not worth it. After the event I feel loads better almost always but the ride there or the event itself is so nerve-wrecking. I don't think this is just a case of the jitters because I feel just so incredibly anxious in situations in which there is no reason at all to worry.

What're your tactics on dealing with this? I know life is so tragically short and I just wish I could be happy the whole time but this truly messes with me on a high level. I've felt this way since my childhood, and I also suffer from very low self-esteem sometimes. I feel confident in myself and my looks and smarts and etc. but I can't help but feel everyone is always laughing and judging me.


Thus, any suggestion on this anxiety/nervousness/ self-esteem. I just want to be the happiest I can be.


Thank you!

P.S. I'm brand new to this site so if I posted in the wrong place or something I apologize!

[JennJenn]

Hi KellyRina, My name is Jennifer (jenn) I too get nervous when I am waiting to order, its like it takes forever and my nerves give me massive anxiety. I too avoid places and things now because I am worried anxiety will creep up on me and what if someone notices. I will say that I myself do breathing techniques that I have found on youtube. I also am in the middle of my general anxiety disorder so nothing seems to help for long. I am on medication Zoloft and it helps but I still have my bad days, Are you on meds?

[em1]

Oh I can relate to that,it's like when we go on hoilday,I think I'm the only one in the world who don't get excited or don't want to go away because I know you have to go out to dinner every night,which should be so exciting and fun yet to me it's hell

[Stephen Joseph]

Hello Kelly,

There are a number of tactics to reduce anxiety in the situations you have described. You basically need to change how your brain reacts to certain events and scenarios which you have developed fears over during your life. Somehow you have subconsciously cultivated anxious habits, such as when visiting restaurants and engaging in new things. The first thing you need to know is that you can reverse these fearful reactions and in time reduce and get rid of the fear completely. Have hope in that.

A tactic I know from my own experience of suffering from anxiety in the past is to try and distract yourself from the fear as best you can when encountering situations which make you anxious. For example, when you step inside a restaurant then focus your attention away from your fearful thoughts and instead onto something you see, such as a feature of the interior decor or your companion. Whenever you feel yourself dwelling on anxious thoughts/feelings, then focus back onto something outside yourself.

When in the car on the way to somewhere and you feel yourself getting increasingly anxious, try singing. It's quite an amazing relaxation boost. Sing in a silly way if you feel comfortable with the people next to you. If not, then sing silently inside your head, in a completely goofy way. Be as ridiculous as possible.

As for the feeling people are judging you, this is linked to your anxiety and is a form of inhibition. Most anxious people are inhibited by their own negative thinking about themselves, just like I was. This can also be addressed by focusing your attention away from your anxious thoughts as much as possible when in fear-inducing social situations. Study what people are wearing and make mental notes of as many details about their attire as possible. This will distract your worrying mind.

Consciously remind yourself that you know you are smart and you look good, and that it's just your anxiety playing tricks on you. Anxiety is a habit which can be broken if you keep working at it. Use the logical side of your mind to study the mental images you have before certain situations. If they are full of negative exaggeration or catastrophic thinking, then consciously change them to more relaxing and positive images of you being relaxed and confident.

These are just a few ways I know and which I used in my own recovery. There are many more. Hope this helps.

Stephen

[kellyrina]

Thank you all,

JennJenn, I am not on any medication currently, I don't think I will be taking any because I'm not sure if my case is severe enough.

em1, I definitely understand, and

Stephen, thank you so much for your advice. Only thing I can really say back to all that is "easier said then done". But thank you. I'm glad you found things that work for you.