Extreme anxiety!

[MrsJ88]

I get extreme anxiety when I am alone!! My husband works midnights so this is a struggle every week for me! Just this Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I had a mental breakdown because of it. Not only does my husband work midnights but he's forced to work double shifts so he works 56 hours a week. When I don't get sleep (which I CANNOT sleep when he's not here) I get panic attacks like crazy. I'm a mess! My chest is hurting and burning inside, I can't catch my breath, and I'm just all around panicking. Tonight started off his crazy work week, I'll barely see him until Wednesday when he gets off at 8am. His days off are Thursday and Friday, then he goes into work at 12am Friday nights. I'm fine Wednesday Thursday and Friday during the day when he's here but come Friday night and he goes back to work, I lose it!

[Christopher H.]

Hi MrsJ88, I too suffer from extreme anxiety but of a different kind. I am completely fine being by myself, to the point where I actually prefer to be alone a lot of the time. What causes my extreme anxiety is the fear of social situations, embarrassing myself in front of others, or how people may perceive me. Looking back at my past my anxiety was so extreme I didn't even attempt to communicate to the opposite sex or try and make too many friends. Now that I can easily do things that were once extremely hard to even attempt, as a result of overcoming my anxiety, amazes me and is proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Back then I was so certain I would feel terrible for the rest of my life whenever I was around people. I hope that you realize too that although you currently struggle with your anxiety that in the future you will be able to look back and be amazed at what you overcame. I try and to remain positive about my anxiety and not be too negative about, which I am not saying you are being, but that it just helps me feel a little better. In a way it kindas neat how our anxieties are like the polar opposite, mine being caused with the inclusion of people and yours with the removal of people. Another way our anxieties are unique is that I deal with different types of problems caused by my anxiety. I don't really suffer from chest problems or burning inside. I instead freeze up in conversations, making it extremely difficult to express myself the way I could if I weren't so nervous. I became so terrified and so concerned about how others perceived me which made my head feel like its going to explode. As a result, my anxiety caused me to have suicidal thoughts. I couldn't cope with my extreme anxiety at all, with the depression cherry on top, and that's why I decided to seek medical help. I read stories of how peoples lives were changed so substantially so I made an appointment with a doctor and she put me on a SSRI. Never in a million years did I think some pills would have such a positive impact on my life. Maybe if medication is an option you might be willing to give it a shot. If it does interest you maybe do some more research and learn the medications that people take that deal with the same exact thing you do. That's how I was able to luckily stumble upon the drug Prozac. Remember that medications work differently for each person so don't be discouraged if someone claimed that the drug they take is a miracle cure and it made you feel like shit when you take it. I have read countless stories that express the terrible things people endured when they were prescribed Prozac. If you are serious about medication as a way to help you with your anxiety then I say make an appointment with a your doctor and be honest and clear with what you have to deal with. In the end how YOU decide to deal with your anxiety is the right way to go about things.
I'm trying to put myself in your shoes so that I can up with helpful ideas that might make enduring your anxious times alone a little bit easier. I discovered that trying to know the cause of my anxiety/depression helps me during my daily depressing thoughts that I still struggle with. Sitting down and analyzing the state of mind I was in while anxious allowed me to discover and better understand my disability. Also, allowing me to find ways to better cope with my negative episodes. Maybe it will help you too! Have you ever tried to understand as to why being alone makes you so anxious? Do you feel unsafe, worried about your husband's safety, or are you just one of those people that are most comfortable when around others. Sitting down and analyzing how you feel and what was happening around you during panic attacks also might allow you to discover things that will help during these situations. For example, I realized the importance of that I perceive myself in a positive way. My negative self-perception was a huge factor in the cause of my anxiety when I was younger. I had such a warped perception of myself I mistakenly believed that everyone thought like me. This really screwed me over in social situations which made my anxiety worse. By knowing that not everyone thinks the way I do really helps me in social situations. I could go on and on about the different things I discovered about my disability. Maybe try and learn the small intricate details of your disability, as a way to take your mind off the pain by focusing on the causes of it. It's kind of like the more you learn about your enemy the better off you are. Finally, are there any particular hobbies that really help with taking your mind off your current train of thought that may be tormenting you? Focusing on something I greatly enjoy helps me cope with my depressing/anxious thoughts of the day. I love going for walks and just thinking about why people do the things they do. This really helps me with cope with my daily bout of depression so maybe you have a hobby that might do the same. A happy memory that you can play in your head or a quote that helps with the feelings of nervousness. Overall, I just want to say to hang in there and don't let how terrible you feel during these panic attacks cause you too much despair. The amount of pain they may cause can be tremendous but you will beat it in the end. One last thing, keep on posting because there are people out there that completely understand what you are going through and that can provide much better advice with dealing with your particular anxiety a lot better than I.

[MrsJ88]

Hi MrsJ88, I too suffer from extreme anxiety but of a different kind. I am completely fine being by myself, to the point where I actually prefer to be alone a lot of the time. My extreme anxiety is caused by my fear of how people perceive me and just being out there in the world socially. In a way by being around people creates my extreme anxiety which is kinda neat how our anxieties are like the polar opposite of each others in a way. It would be very interesting and humbling for me to go from being happiest when alone to someone who endures an anxiety barrage when alone. Anyways, I couldn't cope with my extreme anxiety at all and that's why I was put on a SSRI and it really did a lot of good for me. Maybe if medication is an option for you that you could do some more research or make an appoint with a doctor. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes so that I can up with helpful ideas that might help you with enduring these anxious times alone a little bit smoother. If you have the time can you explain as to why being alone makes you so anxious? Do you feel unsafe, worry for your husband, or are just one of those people that most comfortable when around others. Maybe what helps me with my social anxiety can help you with your anxiety of being alone. A little tactic I try and do as much as possible is to remind myself that my current train of thought when I am anxious is irrational and that I just need to hang in there because it will pass. Are there any particular things that really help with taking your mind off anxious feeling that may be tormenting you? What helps me cope with my depressing/anxious thoughts is going for walks and just thinking about life. Overall, I just want to say to hang in there. Also keep on posting because there are people out there that completely understand what you are going through and that have great advice with dealing with the particular anxiety that burdens you. I wish you the best!

Thank you for the reply Christopher... Unfortunately I cannot take a medication at this time because I am breast feeding so my doctor will not prescribe me anything, I've asked many times. For me, I get anxious being alone because I have health anxiety and I am conceived that I am going to have something happen (my biggest fear is heart attack cause I get chest pain from my anxiety) and I'll be stuck home alone with no help. Also I have asthma and at times have to go to the ER for an asthma attack when my inhaler just isn't doing the job.... And I've been told that I can die from an asthma attack if I don't get to the ER fast enough. Also, I don't like being alone cause I'm a woman and of tiny stature and I'm just so afraid of someone breaking in on me and my precious baby and what would I do?! My husband is my safe place so to speak, he calms me down perfectly in mild or intense anxiety situations. He's gone all night due to working midnights then has to sleep all day then goes back to work that night, so it's just too much for me to handle right now. Things that help me are just talking to my husband honestly that's all that works. Sometimes if I just talk to someone it helps but my husband helps the most, he's so supportive and gets me. Sometimes I read christian books on anxiety and that helps if I'm anxious NOT if I'm having a panic attack. It's very interesting how you and I have such opposite anxieties. I'm a people person, I do not like bring alone.... I get depressed and I am not the depressed type of person.

[Christopher H.]

MrsJ88, I can emphasize with the terrible way you feel during these times you are alone. It seems like your mind completely focuses on these terrible possibilities, certain that they could happen at anytime now that your husband is gone. Maybe you can do things that would make you feel safer at home knowing that if anything bad did happen you will be prepared. Like having really good locks on the door or even a gun if you think that would make you feel safer. Making sure you have a way of having a way to get to the ER on time might make you so worried that you might die. Also try and realize that there not a bigger chance of something bad happening to you because you are now alone. If anything the only thing that being that is posing a danger to you, as a result of you being alone, is the panic attacks caused by all the bad things that could happen to you. Anything can happen to you and focusing on the what if or what now can happen that hes gone will only create reason for you to be more scared which increases your chance of having a panic attack. Try and convince yourself that you are safe at your home. Now I know this is a huge tremendous task and that it totally up to you try and do the things I suggested. But your main concern is to convince yourself that you are safe so that you can do your best to avoid panic attacks. You will definitely get used to being alone little by a little. Whether or not what you do actually succeeds in reducing the anxiety I want you to be aware of the fact that you are trying to overcome your anxiety is reason alone to feel good about yourself and feel like you accomplished something. I wish you the best of luck.

[MrsJ88]

Thanks so much Christopher... Great advice! I enjoyed reading. :)