Seperation anxiety & IBS

[ScrewItAll]

Hey, my name's Mitch, I'm 17 and I'm new here. It's extremely difficult to get a decent shrink where I live so this forum is sort of my last resort. I've had seperation anxiety since I was 11 when I went on a week long school excursion and got really home sick, so sick I literally vomited and I started crying about my mum in front of everyone in my cabin (Which may be the cause of my social phobia too). Since then I've changed schools and moved 7 times up until I failed 10th grade for low attendance due to a developed fear of school and dropped out. I can't even walk past a school if there's kids out. Now I get IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) every time I'm anxious, which is a lot of the time. When I'm confronted with certain decisions I always tell my self "No, I can't do it." I can't push myself. The worst thing is I can't stay at other peoples houses or go to parties, plus I've never had a job, I'm on a disability support pension. My brain comes up with every possible thing that could go wrong and my IBS goes crazy. I go in and out of depression due to worrying about my future (Will I ever be able to move out, will I have to live with mum forever, what will I do if she dies etc.)

This leads to the current situation I am having trouble with. I hadn't seen my dad since I was 12 because they divorced when I was about five (when I was 12 dad's girlfriend came to our house and wrote off our car with a crowbar and mum put an AVO on dad so we couldn't see him anymore). The AVO expired a couple years ago and quite recently we have met up on two occasions, the second time he brought my two little half-brothers I had never met, they're awesome, still only toddlers. I love dad and I enjoy my time with him but he wants me to stay at his house. My 15 year old brother has already stayed at his place the first time he asked us, I said I wasn't ready. I know it must've hurt his feelings and I really want to go help him build his new house and hang out with him but I just can't. My brother's going tomorrow to stay at his again and I've been invited as well. Even my big sister (who's been seeing him for for the past year or so) said I should go stay there but I don't think I'll be able to get in the car when he gets here. I really don't want to let him down again, it's nothing personal it's just seperation anxiety.

I want to go tomorrow but I'm unsure if I can, I don't know what to do. Some motivation, help and support would be greatly appreciated.

[em1]

Hello and welcome to the page,having anxiety for years myself I know how your feeling,I was 17 when mine started I'm now 38,I'm here to give you help and advice,ok what do you feel will happen if you go?

[ScrewItAll]

I will get ibs and panic and ask to get dropped home which would be really embarrassing, dad's girlfriend might say something about mum even though she's apparently better and on meds now, I might change my mind once I'm in the car and flip out. I might not be able to sleep (I've been having sleeping problems for a long time sometimes the medication doesn't work). I know there's more but I can't think of them at the moment.

[ScrewItAll]

I also forgot to add I would have to stay for the whole weekend which is really overwhelming.

[em1]

I also forgot to add I would have to stay for the whole weekend which is really overwhelming.

Ok do many people have ibs and so many people have panic attacks and anxiety,don't feel bad if you have to come home,is it to far to go to just maybe try for the day? You can't control over people or worry what they are going to say,a panic attack will not harm you even tho I know it feels like the end of your world,do you take anything to make you feel more relaxed?

[ScrewItAll]

yeah its too far.
I'm on Seroquel (quietapine) it's a mood stabilizer and Avanza (mirtazipine) it's an antidepressant and I take them at night. All they seem to do is help me sleep.

[em1]

yeah its too far.
I'm on Seroquel (quietapine) it's a mood stabilizer and Avanza (mirtazipine) it's an antidepressant and I take them at night. All they seem to do is help me sleep.

I think maybe your first step would be to maybe go out with your dad for coffee or shopping for a while maybe taking little steps at a Time will build yourself up for staying over one day,exsplain to your dad how your feeling and suggest doing something for a small amount of time just to see how you feel

[ScrewItAll]

we already have

[em1]

we already have

And how did that make you feel?

[ScrewItAll]

I was fine

[em1]

Well I'm sure you will be fine if you went to stay at your dads :) your dad loves you and wants you to be there,if you have a panic attack it's not going to harm you,you are safe

[ScrewItAll]

Well I'm sure you will be fine if you went to stay at your dads :) your dad loves you and wants you to be there,if you have a panic attack it's not going to harm you,you are safe
I dreamt about it and woke up with IBS, I can't do it. I just want to be home. I'm gonna be like this forever. :(

[em1]

I dreamt about it and woke up with IBS, I can't do it. I just want to be home. I'm gonna be like this forever. :(

You won't be like this forever,your anxiety is just running high at the moment,try and relax,you don't have to put yourself through anything if your not ready to,your dad will
Understand that

[brittany32888]

I understand what you're feeling. Certain places are fine, and others not so much. I call them my "safe zones" I, too suffer with IBS when anxious. It's horrible. Going to people's houses is out of the question when you pretty much already know you're going to be uncomfortable, which turns into anxiety,which makes you physically ill. There are only a few places I'm comfortable going and it's usually places I know the location of the bathroom and feel comfortable rushing to it if needed. The only advice I can give is like said above easing into it, maybe have your mom on call to pick you up if you start panicking, or maybe try going to an uncomfortable place for a shorter period of time with your dad, and see how you feel. Build your way up to staying with him. Does he know you suffer with all of this? Would he be understanding? I find it interesting that when help is available, you don't need it, it's only when you feel like if something were to go wrong and you have no way out, do you actually panic. Maybe start thinking about what it is you would need to be able to go through with it. When you find a solution, it usually makes it easier. Good Luck!!

[ScrewItAll]

Thanks for your replies. my mums not nearly as understanding, she told me this morning that if i don't go i have to sleep on the street. thanks mum. Now I want to shoot myself in the head because it seems not a single person in my family understands. She should never have had kids.

[brittany32888]

Thanks for your replies. my mums not nearly as understanding, she told me this morning that if i don't go i have to sleep on the street. thanks mum. Now I want to shoot myself in the head because it seems not a single person in my family understands. She should never have had kids.

Don't feel bad, my mom doesn't even know I have anxiety. She's known me for 25 years and is clueless. People usually see mental illness as a choice, or something you just have to get over. But if it were that easy, none of us would be here right? Keep your chin up, at least she gave you the option of sleeping on the street. :)

[ScrewItAll]

I did it. I got drunk and stayed 3 three nights.
Yay for alcohol. hahaha

[brittany32888]

I did it. I got drunk and stayed 3 three nights.
Yay for alcohol. hahaha

Lmao!!!! Congrats ;)