therapist says its not anxiety?!?!?

[missmello]

Today's been a long-ass-day.

Had a holter monitor yesterday, returned it to doctor today. Then I had an interview which went well, drove an hour to get there though. Then I had therapy this afternoon.

This was only my 2nd visit with her, so we went through the whole timeline from when my "anxiety" first started up until now. I'll sum it up. After I graduated highschool I started getting typical panic attacks (rapid heart rate, thought I was dying, etc). 2005 I got really bad again, scared something was wrong with my heart, panic attacks everyday, heart rate through the roof, would avoid sleeping in my bed because that's where I would usually get my panic attacks. Then 2009 it was stomach issues. Now its stomach issues again, there was an entire month where I stopped eating and lost 15lbs because I had zero appetite. I can eat now, but I'm still nauseous every day. Now I'm obsessing about my heart, constantly checking my pulse. Think its either too fast or too slow.

I've had sooo many tests done, always come back fine.

My therapist tells me today "not eating for that long, and losing all that weight, doesnt sound like it could be caused by anxiety"

What!?!??! Really?!?!? She is now encouraging me to continue seeing doctors and asking for more tests. I am at a total loss! She said that I need to rule everything out before she can say its anxiety, and that there could still be something that they haven't found.

I am so confused, angry, sad, tormented!!

So I come home and tell my husband and he flips out. He does not support the decision to continue with doctors. I don't know what to do and feel like I have no support.

[em1]

Hello I have to say that due to my bad Anxiety that I've had Zero Appetite for three weeks and have lost a stone myself so I'm
Not saying that she's wrong and yes go for more tests but I've had the same as you and it's been due to my Extreme anxiety Lately x

[missmello]

Why would my therapist say that though?? It makes no sense to me. I've heard from so many people on this forum saying they've been through the same thing as me, no appetite, weight loss, etc.. but my therapist says it doesn't sound like anxiety?? It makes no sense.

My husband and I started to try and conceive our first child this past February, and my symptoms started in march. Doesnt that sound like an obvious trigger??! I even told her I am nervous considering I've never been pregnant, so of course I'm freaked out about the whole thing.

I feel like she just made me rethink everything, and now im going back to thinking there's something seriously wrong with me. Shouldnt a therapist try and get me to avoid thinking that way instead of encouraging???

[em1]

The only way to put your mind at rest is to go and see your doctor and tell them what she's said and then go from there,I don't know why she's saying things like that to you,but i would see what your doctor has to say about it all.
My husbands the same he's got no clue what this Anxiety feels like and so he just don't get it

[Enduronman]

not what you really needed to hear but I can see what your therapist may be thinking too. She may think that you're anemic. I don't know much about anemia, other then its when your bloodcells get all goofed up and can be a real cause for anorexia. Loss of appetite. Completely.

Plus, from the looks of your post she is also thinking that you're psychotic, obsessive, and in need of some real medicinal help before you try to talk things through..(heart obsession, checking your pulse, stomach issues)

Yes there is much anxiety here but that isn't the root cause for all this other stuff, its a side effect of all that other stuff.

E-Man.

[missmello]

She told me there still might be something that the doctors haven't found yet, and that I should go to Boston to get checked out by really good doctors (i live in MA). Isn't constantly seeking assurance from doctors, even after all tests come back fine, what you are NOT supposed to do as an anxious person? Don't they tell us to stop chasing doctors for answers that arent there?

I'm thinking maybe she had to say that just to cover her ass?

I talked to my mom about this today and she said I definitely have anxiety. It runs in the family, and I grew up with an anxious mother and a bipolar father. My mom said just the things I witnessed as a child (fighting, my moms anxiety, my dads mania) would be enough to traumatized anyone. I don't remember much of my childhood with my dad, but most of my memories of him are not happy ones. (they divorced when I was around 7 and I don't have a relationship with him)

Everything about my life points to a diagnosis of anxiety. I've only seen this therapist 2 times, so maybe she just doesn't know my backstory well enough?

[missmello]

I don't think I'm anemic. I've had so much bloodwork done and im pretty sure they tested me for that. The only thing the May not have tested was my different hormone levels? My thyroid was checked though, it was fine.

[Enduronman]

Hey Marshmellow,

I'm just going to have to type what I've seen in your posts and also what it is that I feel as well. You've been here for awhile and I have a pretty good sense of things that I see.

You're a generally overly energetic person maybe even somewhat hyper active. You go from days of an almost excited euphoria to days of gloom, doom, and worry. Your presentations however, are well worded and put together even after all these years that you've struggled with these disorders. I'm not real clear on how long this has been going on but as you've mentioned above that sometime prior to 2005, is way long enough. It's also clearly obvious what had created this whole sense of "I think I'm going to die" whenever you started having these panic attacks because of how your heart/chest would feel. On the other hand, you already know that these panic attacks are not going to cause you to leave this world but they create just enough concern to cause other areas of your mind to think it may be possible. You also present as someone that is also (bi-polar with mania) on some days and others it seems that your main focus is just plain old (anxiety).

You're making great efforts to have your heart monitored and checked. You're making efforts to interview for a new job and have a general presentation of someone that's also (extroverted) and somewhat outgoing. You're capable of hoping into a car and driving for an hour to meet and speak to a stranger about your future. You're focusing on trying to get to the bottom of these issues that trouble you daily and had hired a therapist to try to talk things through.

So, all that being stated and just looking at you and into your life from my end, it appears that there's a heck of alot more going on here then just (anxiety). You present in many different areas here friend. Bi-polar, manic, hypochondria, anxiety and the effects thereof.

In your case, this isn't just anxiety that you may have been passed down by your Mother. It is a cross of things passed on by both parents.

Your struggle is going to remain constant and relentless until you seek medical assistance and cover ALL of these areas rather then focusing on just (1) aspect of this nightmare for you.

It IS NOT going to be possible to do this alone, without medicinal help, without therapy, without a good diet, without support from family, friends, and with what we here can offer too.

If your thyroid checked fine then so did your pituitary but it wouldn't hurt to have your hormones checked as you've mentioned although considering you'd stated that these things began after high school, I highly doubt that they'll find anything wrong in that regard either.

There's my 2 cents. Print it out and take it to your Dr. if you wish or you will relentlessly seek answers that you may never obtain throughout your lifetime. Enough is enough. This cycle must have an end.

Have a good day Missy.

E-Man. :)

[missmello]

Thanks E-man.

I definitely got the shit end of the stick when it comes to mental health genes lol. It goes beyond just my parents too. My dad has 3 brothers, all of which have some kind of mental issues (one even hears voices). So I have no doubt there's something psychologically wrong with me. I may have anxiety or depression, but don't think I'm bipolar. I remember how my dad would act and he was batshit crazy sometimes. I'm nauseous every day, some days are better than others, but for the most part I can still function.

I know I may seem extroverted by my posts lol but trust me in real life I am not. I am very quiet, a homebody, and am not outgoing at all. I don't really like talking at all to be honest, besides with my family and very close friends (who are also family) don't really have friends. When I come on here its kind of like a release where I can dump all my worries.

I go out and look for a job because financially we need me to work, we are struggling. So i force myself to go on interviews, go to work, go grocery shopping, etc. in hopes that my mind will match my body and say "see dummy, you can go out into the world just fine, there's nothing wrong"

Sorry for the long post. I'm trying any means possible to get better, or snap out of this. That's why I sought out therapy myself. I'll keep following up with my doctor too but its like when will someone give me a solution!? Whatever it is ill do it! lol

[missmello]

Oh, and the therapist also said she doesn't think I'm a hypochondriac either! Haha! So I said to her REALLY!?!? and I started laughing because I seriously feel like I am. So strange that I think Ive got all these mental issues and therapist says no.

[Enduronman]

LMAO! Oh no, there isn't any hypochondria there at all!!

No, it isn't depression. No, it isn't JUST anxiety. It isn't even really a full fledged bi-polar disorder either. You're difficult! Now, sit still this won't hurt abit!

That's interesting that you mentioned your Uncles and one of them thinks he's a bird?

Yes Missy, we have got to get you on some medications just to calm you and your mind down. Also, try another therapist too because although the one that you saw was on the right track and asking you to go back to the Dr. for some additional assistance she may have also been abit out of her league with you because of your uniqueness.

What medications do you take and what have you tried? Have you ever tried an anti-psychotic med like what some of our members here take?

I WANNA HELP GET YOU BACK ON ANY TRACK!! lol

Enduronman.. :)

[marycap]

As I read your post... U r exactly describing me right now...stomach issues, no appetite, heart palps... Checking pulse and Bp constantly. I had the same exact symptoms in 2007, was in the hospital for 4 days for head to toe work up-- all normal, I recently started back on Prozac, it's not working. Supplementing with Xanax because I have to wait 3 weeks to see a nurse practitioner to get on right meds! My anxiety is telling me what if this time there really is something wrong?

[trinidiva]

Have you tried keeping a journal of when you experienced the heightened anxiety?
I notice heightened anxiety immediately before and during the early part of my monthly cycle. During the rest of the month, I can control it quite well using a mix of meditation, healthy lifestyle choices ( no alcohol, no smoking, healthy eating and plenty of sleep), and exercise and small dosage of Buspar (15mg daily) I think the root cause of my anxiety is due to a hormonal issue...which I'm looking into. During those few days monthly, it can get quite difficult to function.

[marycap]

I lost my post to you. I was saying that I am experiencing the same exact symptoms right now... Checking Bp and pulse constantly, stomach trouble, loss of appetite, constant worry. What is consoling me now is that I had the exact same symptoms back in 2007 and after 4 days in the hospital of head to toe work up... All came back normal. Of course my anxious brain is telling me now what if something is wrong this time? According to my counselor if it is anything other than anxiety your body will let u know.

[kelliesean]

Oh, and the therapist also said she doesn't think I'm a hypochondriac either! Haha! So I said to her REALLY!?!? and I started laughing because I seriously feel like I am. So strange that I think Ive got all these mental issues and therapist says no.

Yeesh.. Perhaps you should get two other professional opinions about your mental state.. And then you well be really well informed. Not all dr s and therapists are really qualified to e practicing.. Some of them really stink! Which is very unfortunate..

[missmello]

Eman - I'm on klonopin .5mg as needed, I don't take it very often though because I'm not really having panic attacks, more anxious feelings, so ill only take one when I feel like I can't cope. I was given Zoloft 50mg and it made me feel AWFUL after just one dose, I couldn't handle it, so I never took it again. Those are the only 2 meds I've tried this time. I've used xanax and ativan in the past.

Trinidiva - I've never really thought about it, but its an interesting thing I might look into. Never kept a journal of my anxiety but sounds like a good idea. Might help me figure out what triggers it.

Mary - in the past I've had stomach issues too, but never this bad, like with being bed-ridden, no appetite, and weight loss. That scared me. My therapist also said that she thinks people know their bodies, what's normal for them and what isn't. I kind of agree. Like, because I've had stomach issues in the past, and considering this all happened right after trying to conceive, logically I wanna say its anxiety. I truly want to believe there isn't some special rare disease they can't find. I'm really not that special lol.

Kellie - I really want to see a psychiatrist but have been having trouble finding one. It's like there aren't any in my area, so I'm stuck with social workers, who I feel don't have enough knowledge on these sorts of things. And Im open to taking meds, but know my primary doctor isn't the best route for that. I need a psych! lol its so frustrating, its like I'm going in circles.

Thank you all for your support. My husband is supportive to a degree. It's starting to take a toll on him now, which is adding to my stress. I appreciate every one of you! :)

[Enduronman]

I'm going to have to hold firm on my belief that after reading your posts, your concerns, your family, these issues, that it is way more then just anxiety. It may even be something as simple as trying out some risperdone or abilify to get your over active mind to just relax abit. I still think you're crossing over into areas whereas your Father and his Brothers were in. With a mix of your Mother too. It all presents that way from here friend...

E-Man..

[missmello]

I'm going to have to hold firm on my belief that after reading your posts, your concerns, your family, these issues, that it is way more then just anxiety. It may even be something as simple as trying out some risperdone or abilify to get your over active mind to just relax abit. I still think you're crossing over into areas whereas your Father and his Brothers were in. With a mix of your Mother too. It all presents that way from here friend...

E-Man..

Oh I won't flat out deny it. I agree there may be more going on. I'm struggling with getting a diagnosis, seems there aren't any good mental health professionals around. Either that or I have to keep searching.. and maybe take a drive to get to one. Either way I'm not giving up.

Thank you for your insight. Any outside observations are helpful seeing as my thoughts are sometimes clouded.

[Enduronman]

yes dear Missymarshmello..Until you find some real professionals, what would be wrong with half dosing the zoloft? My daughter is doing quite well on half doses. She's very different already, in a great way! She feels wayyyy better in just 2 weeks on 25mg. Just a thought.

Also, if you have insurance then you could easily suggest to your present Dr. to add in the abilify for you too. It is very pricey, but also a very tiny dose too. I think it was near $800 a month here. It just may be your ticket outta this hell hole! LOL!

[missmello]

Yeah I might even cut the Zoloft in fourths lol or I was thinking of asking for celexa. My aunt had the same reaction with Zoloft, switched to celexa and she said it worked great.

[Enduronman]

Yes! Cut it into halves, fourths, whatever just try something and see if it helps to adjust these dorked up neurotransmitters even just a little bit. My youngest is zooming all around here with a smile now and that isn't what it was like a few weeks ago for sure.. You won't know until you try friend!

[anthonyjbro760]

Anxiety/depression can cause weight loss and weight gain I lost 10 lbs this month cause of depression and not eating enough cause I was so worried n stuck in my thoughts

[Walking Circles]

I would say find a better therapist to be quite honest. Anxiety I think can certainly have a genetic component, it runs in my family on both sides. My biological father who I have only really got to know in the past few weeks has described my anxiety to a tee and he started with it at the same age that I did.

You might try meditation, seriously I know I recommend this in every thread I am in but only because I want to help and it has worked so well for me. You could also try giving yourself permission to have at least one anxiety free day a week, it sounds goofy but it is something I have been doing and have found that it helps. I have also started trying to dedicate at least an hour a day to doing something peaceful like reading listening to classical music or involve myself in one of my hobbies.

[missmello]

So I went back to my therapist today, and we got into talking a lot more about my childhood, what it was like living with a bipolar father and a mother with anxiety. Now that she knows more about my past, my therapist agrees it's anxiety LOL. Post traumatic stress and anxiety, is what she said actually. I felt so much better hearing that confirmation from her. I actually really like her so I think i'll continue to see her for now.

She said something like, I learned from a very young age to be alert of my surroundings, while most children consider their home their safe haven, I learned the world was a crazy place very early and have carried that with me ever since. No doubt I am the way I am because of how I was raised and what I've seen/heard/learned from my parents.

So I picked up a book today called "The boy who was raised as a dog" by Bruce Perry. I most certainly was not raised like a dog lol, but it's a collection of stories from a child psychiatrist's notes that is supposed to shed some light on understanding traumatized children, the effects it has on them, and what happens to a child's brain when exposed to extreme stress. My therapist said to try and find literature on "living with someone with bipolar disorder" so I'm hoping this book will give some insight.

Just thought I'd share my update! I'm glad to finally have a "diagnosis" and be on the right track to healing. Makes me feel better!

[miss_mac666]

Hello dear, I no many have said this but a lot of people lose weight due to anxiety and they do lose their appetite. My anxiety actually caused an eating disorder for me. Get a new doctor who is going to help you and encourage you. Your current doc seem like a fool and a noob. Sadly with this we have to go through a lot of therapists to find the one we need. Its like dating, kiss a few frogs to find the one lol. I realllly hope you find a good therapist who helps you. With anxiety we always give ourselves symptoms of the illnesses we are afraid of, and it is all learned behavior that we just need to teach our brains to unlearn. Sorry a bit of rambling lol but yeah I wish you the best of luck.

CLaire

[miss_mac666]

So I went back to my therapist today, and we got into talking a lot more about my childhood, what it was like living with a bipolar father and a mother with anxiety. Now that she knows more about my past, my therapist agrees it's anxiety LOL. Post traumatic stress and anxiety, is what she said actually. I felt so much better hearing that confirmation from her. I actually really like her so I think i'll continue to see her for now.

She said something like, I learned from a very young age to be alert of my surroundings, while most children consider their home their safe haven, I learned the world was a crazy place very early and have carried that with me ever since. No doubt I am the way I am because of how I was raised and what I've seen/heard/learned from my parents.

So I picked up a book today called "The boy who was raised as a dog" by Bruce Perry. I most certainly was not raised like a dog lol, but it's a collection of stories from a child psychiatrist's notes that is supposed to shed some light on understanding traumatized children, the effects it has on them, and what happens to a child's brain when exposed to extreme stress. My therapist said to try and find literature on "living with someone with bipolar disorder" so I'm hoping this book will give some insight.

Just thought I'd share my update! I'm glad to finally have a "diagnosis" and be on the right track to healing. Makes me feel better!

I think we kind of had a similar upbringing, are you from Boston? I am and grew up in the city and saw a lot of horrible things at home and outside.

[JCX]

Hey MissMello! Im also from Massachusetts and I just saw your post. Has medicine helped you? Im new to all this sadly. Marijuana kick started it all for me :(

[missmello]

I think we kind of had a similar upbringing, are you from Boston? I am and grew up in the city and saw a lot of horrible things at home and outside.

I live south of Boston, not in the greatest area.. especially saw it in high school, lots of punk kids, gangs, and just uneducated people around where I live. But mostly at home there was a lot of chaos. My dad was legit crazy, very bad temper, but my mom didn't know he was bipolar at the time. Took 7 years before she decided to take him to a therapist. I grew up in a very chaotic environment.

[missmello]

Hey MissMello! Im also from Massachusetts and I just saw your post. Has medicine helped you? Im new to all this sadly. Marijuana kick started it all for me :(

In the past I've been put on different benzos. Lorazepam, alprazolam, klonopin.. they've all helped but like everyone will tell you, they are only meant for short term relief. It's how I've gotten through my anxiety in the past though

[JCX]

My anxiety has been also most likely from my childhood. I was very self concious. One experience with Marijuana was enough to get me through this. Wish I never tried it :(

[JCX]

Also I might add that I was born in albania. Back then there would be revolts and people would shoot bullets into the sky or at buildings. That could be a big factor with anxiety I think witnessing it all. Gangs also everywere :(

[missmello]

Absolutely, that probably had an effect on you. When we are little, we absorb everything around us, the good and the bad, and those things help shape who we are, who we become, and how we act and respond to things. Whether we realize it or not. But when you take a moment to think about your childhood, you'll see why you are the way you are now as an adult.

[miss_mac666]

I live south of Boston, not in the greatest area.. especially saw it in high school, lots of punk kids, gangs, and just uneducated people around where I live. But mostly at home there was a lot of chaos. My dad was legit crazy, very bad temper, but my mom didn't know he was bipolar at the time. Took 7 years before she decided to take him to a therapist. I grew up in a very chaotic environment.

I'm from Southie so i know exactly what you mean. My mom is a junkie and my dad was a workaholic so he didn't have to be around her. Its so messed up that things that happened in our childhood eventually affects us as adults. You okay today?

[kelliesean]

I'm from Southie so i know exactly what you mean. My mom is a junkie and my dad was a workaholic so he didn't have to be around her. Its so messed up that things that happened in our childhood eventually affects us as adults. You okay today?

Miss Mac.. That's true.. It is Interesting how our past may have shaped who we are today.. Goes w that who "nature vs nurture".. I always wonder if iam the result of my environment .. Or if I was just genetically going to be this way..

[missmello]

I'm from Southie so i know exactly what you mean. My mom is a junkie and my dad was a workaholic so he didn't have to be around her. Its so messed up that things that happened in our childhood eventually affects us as adults. You okay today?

Yeah I'm fine, I feel a lot better now that I've heard it from someone else. Confirmation from my therapist was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. After my mom left my dad, (i was like 9yo) I was totally fine, had no clue what was going on. Didn't think I'd ever be labeled with PTSD because I didn't ever really dwell on the past, wasn't mad that my parents separated, or sad. I thought it didn't effect me but apparently it did. Just glad I know where my anxiety comes from.

[em1]

Yeah I'm fine, I feel a lot better now that I've heard it from someone else. Confirmation from my therapist was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. After my mom left my dad, (i was like 9yo) I was totally fine, had no clue what was going on. Didn't think I'd ever be labeled with PTSD because I didn't ever really dwell on the past, wasn't mad that my parents separated, or sad. I thought it didn't effect me but apparently it did. Just glad I know where my anxiety comes from.

That's so good that you have Finally got some answers and now you can start moving forward I wish you the very best to Recovery

[missmello]

Thanks forwells. I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I actually have "a child called it", think I might read it again I can't remember the full story. But yeah, I know I'm the only person who can pull myself out of this. I don't want to be medicated at all, and have actually refused meds from my Dr. because I don't think I need an ssri or anything like that. I've never been on one, and I've gotten through many episodes of anxiety without it, for years.

I won't obsess over the label, I'm just glad someone from an outside pov can see it for what it is, because I couldn't. I can now though, and I know it will only help me get better.

This book I'm reading now is really good, insightful. I'm only one chapter in, but I wouod highly recommend it to anyone who has experienced any kind of trauma or chaos during childhood. Good book.

Thanks again for your input. :)