Marija28
06-13-2013, 03:48 AM
Hi there!
I have started to have Panic and anxiety attacks before 4 years. There were some improovements but still I have some problems. Sometimes it seems so hard that I think I will never be healthy person. It's very hard sometimes. My panic and anxiety started when I have found myself actually worshipping some pop star, idealising it, and almost crushed on it... when I realised that it will ruin my 8 yr relationship, I have stopped with all that crap. I have commited myself to the relationship I was in, that I will not endanger it with such nonsenses. At least this kind of worship isn't healthy for any person I think. Like those Elvis Presley's and Beatles girl fans screaming and crying... I don't actually know what happened in me that I acted on that way in that period. Seems like I was completely lost my mind.
I have mooved on and decided to left it all behind. But it was kind of a nightmare to be aware of that what happened to me. I have developed rocd. I was really in bad anxiety. I have suceeded to let go of anxiety and moove on with life, there were some ups and downs, but nothing significant. It was all well until I accidentaly remember of that pop star, and start chewing on that matter in my head... a bunch of irrational thoughts, what if thinking... and I prayed and begged my brain just to let me go of that. I sometimes screamed to let me live my life.
Recently my boyfriend left me and I thought that now when we aren't together that all those anxieties will stop. But they didn't. I still have anxieties with peaks when I remember of that pop star... I want it to stop torturing me. Like my brain is constantly trying to make me feel bad. When I forget about it, it's all ok, life goes on naturally, but if I remember of a tiny bit, it can develop to the state where I feel like someone is stealing my life from me, like my brain and thoughts are manipulatin me. I want to live my own life, and don't want to think about those thing. I just want to leave me alone from that. I know it's hard to not to think about pink elephant. I have tried many things and nothing helped me so that my triggers for panic and anxiety disappear. They are still strong after 4 years... I just want this to stop. When I don't rememeber it, my life is ok, but when I remember of that trigger it makes me completely different being. Like two different personalities. I just want my life back.
Any advice and help is appreciated.
I have started to have Panic and anxiety attacks before 4 years. There were some improovements but still I have some problems. Sometimes it seems so hard that I think I will never be healthy person. It's very hard sometimes. My panic and anxiety started when I have found myself actually worshipping some pop star, idealising it, and almost crushed on it... when I realised that it will ruin my 8 yr relationship, I have stopped with all that crap. I have commited myself to the relationship I was in, that I will not endanger it with such nonsenses. At least this kind of worship isn't healthy for any person I think. Like those Elvis Presley's and Beatles girl fans screaming and crying... I don't actually know what happened in me that I acted on that way in that period. Seems like I was completely lost my mind.
I have mooved on and decided to left it all behind. But it was kind of a nightmare to be aware of that what happened to me. I have developed rocd. I was really in bad anxiety. I have suceeded to let go of anxiety and moove on with life, there were some ups and downs, but nothing significant. It was all well until I accidentaly remember of that pop star, and start chewing on that matter in my head... a bunch of irrational thoughts, what if thinking... and I prayed and begged my brain just to let me go of that. I sometimes screamed to let me live my life.
Recently my boyfriend left me and I thought that now when we aren't together that all those anxieties will stop. But they didn't. I still have anxieties with peaks when I remember of that pop star... I want it to stop torturing me. Like my brain is constantly trying to make me feel bad. When I forget about it, it's all ok, life goes on naturally, but if I remember of a tiny bit, it can develop to the state where I feel like someone is stealing my life from me, like my brain and thoughts are manipulatin me. I want to live my own life, and don't want to think about those thing. I just want to leave me alone from that. I know it's hard to not to think about pink elephant. I have tried many things and nothing helped me so that my triggers for panic and anxiety disappear. They are still strong after 4 years... I just want this to stop. When I don't rememeber it, my life is ok, but when I remember of that trigger it makes me completely different being. Like two different personalities. I just want my life back.
Any advice and help is appreciated.