Relationship anxiety

[orangeangel7]

Hello all, i am hoping to find some strength by speaking with other people who suffer from anxiety too. Sometimes i just feel so alone because no one in my life really understands what a struggle anxiety really is. Ive been dealing with anxiety in my relationships for years and i didnt realize what it was until last year when an ex of mine brought it to my attention just so he could use it against me. It only really seems to effect me when it involves someone i care about a lit. Ive been treated badly and judged and walked out on by so many people i just expect the same thing to happen to me with everyone. I would appreciate any type of feedback, i just really want to overcome this demon one day

[Anxious Abi]

Hey orangeangel7, would just like to let you know you are not alone, it seems quite common for those who suffer from Anxiety to find those close to them just can't seem understand what it is they go through. I'm sorry to hear you've been treated badly, I know it's hard when you want to move on but can't quite seem to get your anxieties to follow suit, almost like your just waiting for the next person to disappoint you. I would say stick around, talk to people, get to know a bit more about your anxiety and never give up trying to overcome it.
Abi

[orangeangel7]

Thank you for understanding. Its hard to explain. It seems to get increasingly worse for me when im in a committed relationship with someone because the more you let someone in, the more they can hurt you. Its strange and its frustrating because its just frustrating and sometimes its hard to not let the voices in my head get the best of.

[Anxious Abi]

It is true the closer you get to some one, the harder it is to get over it when it doesn't work out. I haven't been in a long lasting relationship myself, but I remember my Mum telling me for years after her and my Dad got together she was convinced he would leave her, even after they got married and had us, she worried he would find somebody else. They are still together, and they have had bad times, but they got through it.
I myself have pretty much tried to avoid relationships of any kind, I have developed a habit of divulging intimate details quite quickly, almost in an attempt to be like "This is me, if you're going to leave do it now, before I get too attached."
I've got a lot of work to do on my relationship issues.
It might sound a bit mad but you know when you were little and your Mum told you about the Angel and Devil on each shoulder, when I can't stop the thoughts, I try to imagine that all those bad thoughts are just a pesky, little, annoying, cartoon devil that is trying to get me to give up, it's trying to make me believe my fears, convincing me that things wont work out and if things don't work out I wont be able to cope with it. Instead of listening to what he has to say, I imagine what the Angel would say, there are two way's to look at it, try and focus on the good, I find it helps if I really visualize it.
Relationship don't always work out, and sometimes it affects us in ways we can't seem to control, you just have to keep trying to come out of the other side.
Hope any of that helps, even a little.
Abi

[killthefear]

Co Dependent No More. Read the book!!! I'm half thru it and it has been brutal but so very helpful. I've pretty much ruined my relationship with the love of my life because of my huge attachment to her and all that she has done for me. But I could never get enough. I depended on her to make me feel loved and happy. The last three days have been the hardest of my life. I've finally got meds. And a great counselor. It saved my life and I have already begun to heal. Maybe one day l will have another shot with her. But first I have to take care of me. The only way to have a real great relationship is to be very close. But there is a fine line. You have to be open yet live your life in a happy way. Not sure if any of this helps or applies but I sure feel better sharing!