The Good.

[Anxious Abi]

I just thought I would take a minute and maybe try to get people to think about some of the good things they have experienced, whether it is a quiet moment last week when you felt more relaxed or a trip in your youth that you'll never forget.

For me it's planting flowers in the garden with my mum, taking a minute to stroke my cats and calm myself.

I know it's extremely hard to focus on the positive when you're suffering from problems like we are, but I think we need to, we need to indulge in the things that inspire us and give us hope, no matter what it is.

Abi

[locksey]

I just thought I would take a minute and maybe try to get people to think about some of the good things they have experienced, whether it is a quiet moment last week when you felt more relaxed or a trip in your youth that you'll never forget.

For me it's planting flowers in the garden with my mum, taking a minute to stroke my cats and calm myself.

I know it's extremely hard to focus on the positive when you're suffering from problems like we are, but I think we need to, we need to indulge in the things that inspire us and give us hope, no matter what it is.

Abi

That God wakes me everyday , I have a job that I love , I have my health, I have a roof over my head , I have food ... There is so much 2b thankful for :-)

[manz82]

That I have such an understanding and caring husband who is so patient with me and never down plays the way I feel, but calmly helps me through. He stays awake with me if I can't sleep at night. That I have two beautiful sons who are happy, healthy and care free. That I have a mother who loves me unconditionally and laughs and cries with me simultaneously. That I have a beautiful home that is my sanctuary. That I am loved and appreciated every day, despite what I think of myself - I am loved. X

[Stephj526]

I have a great family, fiancé, and the most loving dog. A good job. I wake up every morning and have a roof over my head, food on my plate, and many laughs daily.

Great post!

[Enduronman]

I got to spend some time with my kids today, just sittin in the middle of a lake. They're equally as goofy as I am! Hilarious! I need to practice my hook tying skills all over again because 2 of them just disappeared. Oops. My daughter was yelling at people across the lake (80 acres) but at least she was having fun. Who's offspring are you! Wait, don't answer that..

Good day!

:)

[Anxious Abi]

Really nice to see people talking about positive things.
Just watched Russell Howard's Good News, I know that show is not to every one's taste but I laughed for the first time in a while, proper laughed out loud, and the story about the girl at the end! So heartwarming.

Feeling Good right now.
Abi

[Anxious Abi]

Slept for six hours straight last night, this is a good thing!

[Anxious Abi]

This is rapidly becoming a post just for myself to be positive, never mind.
Today, I spent time in the Garden with mum, watched the birds coming to the feeder and puzzled over a huge nest of tiny spiders, when you put your finger near them they all scatter, then huddle up again, fascinating. Took my mind off the negative for a while. This is good.
Abi

[geglilsis]

I downloaded free hypnosis and PTSD apps for sleep and anxiety! They work wonders when you wake up in the middle of the night really calms you down! I seem to struggle every day all day I feel like my nerves are taking control, sick to my stomach and dizzy I feel like I'm gonna pass out and no one is gonna be there to save me. Sometimes I get to the point where I'm scared to take a shower or go to the bathroom and lock the door. If anyone has suggestions on the day to day please let me know.
My anxiety started about six yrs ago after a car accident and at first it just effected me when driving, as time went on the panic is all day at work sometime ill be sitting with customers and I just wanna run and hide! I try to tell myself, relax breath, nothing has ever happened.

[Anxious Abi]

Hey geglilsis, thanks for posting something positive, it's great that you've found something to help calm you down at night.
You're not alone, I also feel like my Anxiety is in complete control of my mind and my life a lot of the time, when I first started receiving treatment for my Anxiety I remember the Doctor going through all the symptoms of Anxiety and telling me over and over that even though it feels like I am going to faint or pass out, or even die, in actual fact none of that was going to happen. You just have to try and remember that.
I think we're all extremely familiar with the urge to run, it's understandable as Anxiety is a product of the fight or flight instinct, often the urge to run overcomes everything, but it sounds like you're doing really good with the positive self statements.
Hope you find some helpful posts on here, don't give up.
Abi

[geglilsis]

Thank you so much A Abi,

I feel a bit better because I was finally able to eat a bit of protein I have not at hard food in eight days! I'm losing weight and energy! I did not eat at all for three days and landed in the ER dehydrated. My blood pressure is low to start so I have to be careful. I just got so sick after eating I don't want to eat, heartburn they say take more pills they say.... I am so sensitive to pills I hate them! I'm taking Prilosec now for the heartburn but still have the feeling of something stuck in my throat. Ever have anything like that ?

[Anxious Abi]

I do get a lot of heartburn, it worries me sometimes with how painful it gets, but I just try and tell myself it's nothing.
I'm glad you're feeling a little better.
Abi

[Anxious Abi]

Just sat watching the minutes pass by, I get so bored when I can't get to sleep, but i'm feeling OK.
Had a good day today, things weren't that bad with my Dad.
I spent some time making flower chains out of buttercups with my niece, and managed to go to the shop.
Feeling good that I managed to get to the checkout without having too many anxiety symptoms.
Hope you're all doing well.
Abi.

[Enduronman]

Yes!!! Hooray!!!! :)

[Anxious Abi]

*Does a little dance*

Really learning to acknowledge the positive.

[geglilsis]

Good to hear Abi, you are in pain in your thoughts but your very inspiring in mine!!

[Anxious Abi]

Thanks geglilsis, that really is awesome. I suppose we just need to keep trying every day. I am so glad I found this place, even though I feel like the majority may be fed up of hearing from me. I feel I have found support when I didn't really expect it.

[Enduronman]

No we're not fed up..we won't feel right until you succeed!..Then we'll do The Happy Dance too!! LOL! :)

[Anxious Abi]

Managed to fall asleep without letting my worries get the better of me last night, slept a full seven hours, feel much better today. Honestly I believe it is thanks to all the support I have received since joining this forum, a big thanks to you all.

Abi

[geglilsis]

That's awesome Abi!!! I slept all night too!!

[JennJenn]

OMG! I have been doing the exact same thing. It feels so good to know I am not alone. I too am sensitive to pills and the side effects kick my booty. I have to work everyday and sometimes find it hard to function. I went through this in May and I am here to tell you it took me almost a full month to recover but you will recover. I was hit yesterday with it again because... heck I don't know why but I know this to will pass. It always does. keep your head up and I will too. I really think anxiety sucks! I lost weight and energy last month and finally started feeling better the first of the month. Are you always afraid that it will come back like me?

[Dcoito]

This is awesome abi! And with your strong mind set you are going to continue to gain! I do this silly thing, that when I have bad thought, like I think I'm going to faint. I make a picture of that in my mind, then I push it through the shredder! And replace that picture with a good one, like me dancing or something making a silly face! LOL and I make it colorful and large. Silly but works, even puts a smile on my face!

[Anxious Abi]

Hey Dcoito, that is a cool tip, I will definitely try it next time I feel my thoughts taking over.
Hope you're doing well.
Abi

[shaikhrahuf]

Awesome news abi.. god bless u..

[frankzito]

Seven hours is awesome!! That has to be good!!

[Anxious Abi]

Hey shaikrahuf, frankzito, it is awesome! Thank you for the support, hope you're both doing OK.
Best wishes.
Abi

[frankzito]

Hey shaikrahuf, frankzito, it is awesome! Thank you for the support, hope you're both doing OK.
Best wishes.
Abi

Your welcome! :-) I'm doing better than when it started. I don't ever sleep that long though anymore. I've gotten used to it and like it somewhat, knowing I can go back to sleep for a while before work.
I've gone from waking up every hour, to,two, three times a night. Not to bad . Take care, and keep progressing!

[Anxious Abi]

Managed to make it to the Doctor yesterday, tried my best to explain how I've been feeling, anxiety started to get to me a little bit, especially when she started to get a little bit rude. After mentioning I didn't feel I had received adequate support and was finding the amount of time I have been left waiting quite disappointing, she got extremely defensive, I tried to stick up for myself, wasn't happy that she was almost making it seem as though it was my fault. She has the audacity to ask "You've suffered from these problems since 2003, why has it not been sorted before now?" Honestly I left feeling quite unsettled after everything I have done to try and get better, but I have to try and focus on the positive. I got through it, didn't faint, or get upset, I did OK.

[Stephj526]

Managed to make it to the Doctor yesterday, tried my best to explain how I've been feeling, anxiety started to get to me a little bit, especially when she started to get a little bit rude. After mentioning I didn't feel I had received adequate support and was finding the amount of time I have been left waiting quite disappointing, she got extremely defensive, I tried to stick up for myself, wasn't happy that she was almost making it seem as though it was my fault. She has the audacity to ask "You've suffered from these problems since 2003, why has it not been sorted before now?" Honestly I left feeling quite unsettled after everything I have done to try and get better, but I have to try and focus on the positive. I got through it, didn't faint, or get upset, I did OK.

Glad you stuck up for yourself!!! Have you thought about finding a new doctor? Some doctors just don't understand anxiety. Hope your day is going great!

[Dcoito]

You see it doesn't matter what other people say or act! If you feel she acted like it was your fault! Then say to yourself. Gee she's probably sicker then me LOL or maybe her hubby shut her off for awhile! Turn the tables in your mind! Let it roll off like water! So, now what is you plan of action? Was anything discovered? Any treatment plans?

[kelliesean]

Managed to make it to the Doctor yesterday, tried my best to explain how I've been feeling, anxiety started to get to me a little bit, especially when she started to get a little bit rude. After mentioning I didn't feel I had received adequate support and was finding the amount of time I have been left waiting quite disappointing, she got extremely defensive, I tried to stick up for myself, wasn't happy that she was almost making it seem as though it was my fault. She has the audacity to ask "You've suffered from these problems since 2003, why has it not been sorted before now?" Honestly I left feeling quite unsettled after everything I have done to try and get better, but I have to try and focus on the positive. I got through it, didn't faint, or get upset, I did OK.

Uughhhh that is so aggravating! Some of these "professionals" are not professionals at all!! Grrrr

[maliyasmummy]

Glad you stuck up for yourself!!! Have you thought about finding a new doctor? Some doctors just don't understand anxiety. Hope your day is going great!

I went to the doctors today and took a print out of what I was suffering so I didn't have to explain it all again x

[em1]

I went to the doctors today and took a print out of what I was suffering so I didn't have to explain it all again x

Oh well done what did they say?

[kelliesean]

Oh well done what did they say?

Hi em1! :) hope you are well :-))

[em1]

Hi em1! :) hope you are well :-))

Hey kelliesean :) I'm doing really well thanks :) eating and sleeping is back to normal,thoughts are abit less,it's a good day today :) how are you?

[kelliesean]

Hey kelliesean :) I'm doing really well thanks :) eating and sleeping is back to normal,thoughts are abit less,it's a good day today :) how are you?

I'm glad to hear it :-)

I believe I am feeling better too actually.. Had a few good days in a row .. Tht has to be a good sign :)..

[em1]

I'm glad to hear it :-)

I believe I am feeling better too actually.. Had a few good days in a row .. Tht has to be a good sign :)..

Fab :) lets hope we are on the up lol

[kelliesean]

Fab :) lets hope we are on the up lol

Yes yes yes :-)

[em1]

Yes yes yes :-)

What are you up to today ?

[kelliesean]

What are you up to today ?

I'm at my day job.. Blah! Lol ..

How about you?

[em1]

I'm at my day job.. Blah! Lol ..

How about you?

Well it's 8pm here so I'm having a chill out now lol

[kelliesean]

Well it's 8pm here so I'm having a chill out now lol

Ppfftt! I forget the time difference! Lol smh.. :)

[Anxious Abi]

You see it doesn't matter what other people say or act! If you feel she acted like it was your fault! Then say to yourself. Gee she's probably sicker then me LOL or maybe her hubby shut her off for awhile! Turn the tables in your mind! Let it roll off like water! So, now what is you plan of action? Was anything discovered? Any treatment plans?

Discovered, not really, she said she was making sure that the referral to see the psychiatrist was going through, that is it really. I tend to get quite, deflated? Not sure if that is the word for it, but, yeah, wish I could find a Doctor that actually seems invested in my treatment. My plan is to wait for the appointment to come through, and mean while, just keep trying to be positive I guess.
Hope you're doing well.
Abi.

[em1]

Ppfftt! I forget the time difference! Lol smh.. :)

That's ok lol

[kelliesean]

Discovered, not really, she said she was making sure that the referral to see the psychiatrist was going through, that is it really. I tend to get quite, deflated? Not sure if that is the word for it, but, yeah, wish I could find a Doctor that actually seems invested in my treatment. My plan is to wait for the appointment to come through, and mean while, just keep trying to be positive I guess.
Hope you're doing well.
Abi.

Abi.. I shopped around a lot when I was looking for a dr... I would call them up .. Tell them I was looking to get into therapy etc.. And ask them wht their diagnosis process was..

Plenty of times these people were arrogant.. And really didn't want to be bothered by me.. And I guess tht answered a lot for me about whether or not I wanted to see them ;)

But there were some who loved that I was asking these questions.. And one dr even said "this is great.. Remember we are working for you.. It's good you are talking to drs to see if its a good fit for you.."

That is true!

[Anxious Abi]

Plucked up the courage to go for a walk to the beach, not only on my own, but with my five year old niece and her very strong, large and boisterous Staffordshire/Pit pup. On the one hand it was hell, but on the other, I did it, I managed to go into the pet shop with both in tow, we didn't stay at the beach long but still a huge positive for me. I was sweating, shaking, felt like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't concentrate. I was a bit worried about the responsibility of looking after them both, but we all made it back OK, sand in places I'd rather not mention, but we're all in one piece.
It was a good thing.
Pleased.
Abi

[em1]

Plucked up the courage to go for a walk to the beach, not only on my own, but with my five year old niece and her very strong, large and boisterous Staffordshire/Pit pup. On the one hand it was hell, but on the other, I did it, I managed to go into the pet shop with both in tow, we didn't stay at the beach long but still a huge positive for me. I was sweating, shaking, felt like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't concentrate. I was a bit worried about the responsibility of looking after them both, but we all made it back OK, sand in places I'd rather not mention, but we're all in one piece.
It was a good thing.
Pleased.
Abi

Well done Abi that's a very Positive step :) you should be very Proud of yourself

[locksey]

Plucked up the courage to go for a walk to the beach, not only on my own, but with my five year old niece and her very strong, large and boisterous Staffordshire/Pit pup. On the one hand it was hell, but on the other, I did it, I managed to go into the pet shop with both in tow, we didn't stay at the beach long but still a huge positive for me. I was sweating, shaking, felt like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't concentrate. I was a bit worried about the responsibility of looking after them both, but we all made it back OK, sand in places I'd rather not mention, but we're all in one piece.
It was a good thing.
Pleased.
Abi

Well done :-)

[ally]

Well done Abi I really do understand what a big thing that was for you to do x

[Vannie05]

Plucked up the courage to go for a walk to the beach, not only on my own, but with my five year old niece and her very strong, large and boisterous Staffordshire/Pit pup. On the one hand it was hell, but on the other, I did it, I managed to go into the pet shop with both in tow, we didn't stay at the beach long but still a huge positive for me. I was sweating, shaking, felt like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't concentrate. I was a bit worried about the responsibility of looking after them both, but we all made it back OK, sand in places I'd rather not mention, but we're all in one piece.
It was a good thing.
Pleased.
Abi

Well done!!! Be proud of yourself! No matter how you felt, you went trough it and that's huge!!!

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you guys, really appreciate all the positive comments.
Hope you are all doing OK.
Abi

[Anxious Abi]

Great news for me, finally got that appointment to see a Psychiatrist! I pushed it enough to get seen in September, I'm hoping it's a positive step, I think it is. As much as I know only I can do the work to get better, I need to know what the problems are first.
I'm pleased.
Abi

[Ryaan]

I struggle finding any "good" in my life, I'm always down on myself, always struggling with my issues, it's not that I don't want "good", just can't seem to find it.

[Stephj526]

I struggle finding any "good" in my life, I'm always down on myself, always struggling with my issues, it's not that I don't want "good", just can't seem to find it.

Maybe you could keep a piece of paper with you, or a journal in your phone. Write down everything that makes you smile. I bet you'd be surprised how many things you write down.

[Ryaan]

The only things that make me smile are things I cant touch, or fathom, my anxiety and depression is so bad i find it almost impossible to find anything positive in my life, it's sad

[Ryaan]

I hate to get so negative on everyone here, but my life is completely fucked, my family/relationships are ruined, my 8 year old sister is dying in the hospital from cystic fibrosis, my mother is abused and controlled by an asshole alcoholic, I grew up being talked down to and verbally abused by him,when I was 17 i caught him pushing my mother around, I took him to the ground and hit him until i couldn't move my arms, got put in jail for 6 months, and charged with assault for trying to protect my mother, the only woman I ever loved walked over my heart like it was her chew toy, I landed a good a job and had to quit after 4 months because I got sent to the ER and have been very messed up ever since, here I am, 20 years old, no woman, no love, no hope, just misery everywhere i look, and then ontop of that i get to deal with the awesome symptoms of anxiety, anything that makes me smile, also makes me cry, some people really don't have "good" in their lives.

[frankzito]

Man, I don't hardly know what to say. I'm really sorry to hear about your sister.. I have friend who is pretty much like yourself. I try and make things better for him, but ain't much help.. Cause of my anxiety problems.. I hope things turn around for you soon!

[Stephj526]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and all that you've been through. I can't put myself in your shoes, but I do understand the anxiety part stopping you from enjoying things. For me, taking it one day at a time helps. But that's easier said than done sometimes. We're all here for you though!

[Ryaan]

The truth is that I'm alone, cold, sad, scared, and sick, and have been for years, it's amazing how long and far we can go without breaking, if it's not one thing it's another, iv'e had to sell drugs just to pay my rent, iv'e gone through drug addictions, alcohol abuse, I was tried as an adult and sent to prison 1 month after my eighteenth birthday, I was beaten, treated like a dog, and locked up for 6 months, any part of me i still had left was lost there, my whole life feels like a bad horror movie, my own therapist doesn't know what to fucking say to me because no matter how deep i look i cant find the person I use to be, im done this shit got way to emotional for me sorry

[frankzito]

Peace brother

[Stephj526]

The truth is that I'm alone, cold, sad, scared, and sick, and have been for years, it's amazing how long and far we can go without breaking, if it's not one thing it's another, iv'e had to sell drugs just to pay my rent, iv'e gone through drug addictions, alcohol abuse, I was tried as an adult and sent to prison 1 month after my eighteenth birthday, I was beaten, treated like a dog, and locked up for 6 months, any part of me i still had left was lost there, my whole life feels like a bad horror movie, my own therapist doesn't know what to fucking say to me because no matter how deep i look i cant find the person I use to be, im done this shit got way to emotional for me sorry

That's a lot to go through in a short amount of time. You have so much life ahead still to be lived. What small changes can you make to put some happiness into your life? Obviously you can't change your past, or certain current situations. But think about something that you can control. Make that change. Then think of something else small and continue down that path. It won't be easy, and you'll have set backs. But that's to be expected. But you are obviously strong to have dealt with so much already, you can do this.

[Anxious Abi]

Hey, just recently discovered some information about the 'Pure O' part of the OCD spectrum, reading the pages available through search it seems that this is exactly what has been going on with me. Even though I'm having a tough time with it, I am extremely glad that I have finally got to grips with part of what I have been going through, it's really helping me to make sense of things. Hopefully now I can bring it up with my Psychiatrist when the appointment comes round, and try to move on. Good thing.
Hope you're all doing well.
Abi

[MissyTone]

Wow I'm glad that there are some trying to focus on what's good in their lives. I am in school and doing well I'm a singer and have a nice fan base online I have my families love and support again and I'm going to see a therapist on Friday.

On another note Rryan? I've been in the place ur at.....all I can say is ...keep pushing ur self don't make your life so far be what breaks u make it what sets u free

[tailspin]

Thanks for starting a thread where we can share positive things. It's so easy to get lost in all the crap we're dealing with emotionally and physically. I know that I have become very negative. And it's hard not to keep feeding the negativity. I want to make more effort to focus on the good things in my life, including small moments of enjoyment I experience each day.

It's great you've had some helpful breakthroughs with your diagnosis, Abi, and I hope your upcoming psychiatric appointment goes well!

My positive today is that I have a lovely husband and tomorrow is our 12 year wedding anniversary. I really love him a lot and I'm very grateful to him for his patience, support, love and friendship! We've definitely had some big ups and downs but we've weathered the storms so far and I'm so glad we are together.

We also have 4 wonderful rescue dogs who I adore beyond words. Good, good, good and good!! :) <3 <3 <3 <3

[Anxious Abi]

Really nice to read about positive things in people's lives.

I am in school and doing well I'm a singer and have a nice fan base online I have my families love and support again and I'm going to see a therapist on Friday.
That is brilliant MissyTone, there is a lot to be proud of there, really hope your time with your therapist goes well.


My positive today is that I have a lovely husband and tomorrow is our 12 year wedding anniversary. I really love him a lot and I'm very grateful to him for his patience, support, love and friendship! We've definitely had some big ups and downs but we've weathered the storms so far and I'm so glad we are together.

We also have 4 wonderful rescue dogs who I adore beyond words. Good, good, good and good!!
Hope you have a wonderful anniversary with your husband tailspin, great job at recognising the positive.
I hope to one day adopt a rescue pet, it seems it can bring a lot of joy into your life, maybe this is one thing I can look forward to in the future.

Best wishes.

[Anxious Abi]

Had my second appointment with the Psychiatrist today, have finally been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder including Compulsive Skin Picking. We decided to keep going with the medication and CBT for now. It's nice to talk to someone, in person, who understands what i'm going through.
Hope everyone has a good time over the holidays.
Some links to information I have found useful.
http://www.ocduk.org/pure-o
http://www.ocduk.org/compulsive-skin-picking
Abi

[Anxious Abi]

Got out and about with my friend today, we had something to eat and browsed the shops for a while.
Unfortunately experienced a huge trigger while out, at the time I was filled with anger adrenaline, now it's become anxious, ruminating thoughts keeping me awake.

But, I did get through it, I came face to face with the trigger and still managed to carry on having a good time with my friend.
I've been attempting to fill out an 'Alternative thoughts and images' sheet, maybe if it happens again I can react differently, and avoid a whole night of torturing thoughts.

AbiBabbiFoFabbi

[Anxious Abi]

Feeling low tonight, i'm trying my best to find positive things to focus on.
I've done everything around the place I can think of, cleaning and the rest of it, now i'm sat stroking my bunny and it just seems to remind me how lonely I feel.
I wish I found it easier to connect with people. I watch in amazement at how people do it, they find friends they can message any time, people they have stuff in common with.

Anyway, looking at pics of bunny when he was little should keep me occupied for a little while at least.

1082

[Enduronman]

Well dear, you have all sorts of friends here!..
If we were near the English Seaside,...then we'd be hangin too...
I even have troubles connecting with people but other times I'll just throw in a hello to a complete stranger to throw myself off!!
We're hear if you need us Abifofabbi!

Enduronman.. :)

[BlessedMom]

I have a wonderful loving husband, who loves me unconditionally...smh it amazes me. My Children are amazing and love me. I have a warm home. God loves me. The sun is out and spring is on the way!!!

[Applecherry]

I agree, I just wish this period of anxiety would cease and desist, it's been going on since December, but thinking of good moments definitely does help.

[Anxious Abi]

Well dear, you have all sorts of friends here!..
If we were near the English Seaside,...then we'd be hangin too...
I even have troubles connecting with people but other times I'll just throw in a hello to a complete stranger to throw myself off!!
We're hear if you need us Abifofabbi!

Enduronman.. :)

Thanks E-Man :)
You've managed to cheer me up a little.

Being on here I have noticed I'm really hesitant about approaching people. I think I've only sent one PM and it took me about three hours to get up the courage to press send :-|.
I need to get more friendly.
People don't really tend to talk to me day to day either, I have thought maybe I could come off as stand offish or something.
I should set a goal to ask three people how they're doing while i'm out on Monday. Little steps.

[Enduronman]

YES!! Say hello to a complete stranger, and ask how are you??...That's all it takes. Keeps us on our toes (in a good way) and also you may earn a new unexpected friendship too. I have even sat down next to people on the benches at the stores just to "connect" with someone at times. Even if just for a minute, can make all the difference in the world. There are others out there that are just waiting for a hello too...strike up with check out people sometimes too. Little steps, hone your skills, they're there Abi....

E-Man..:)

[Enduronman]

That's all it takes Frankie,..just a little extra effort and all these little efforts add up to one giant effort and goals.. You are still kickin ass!! :D

[Anxious Abi]

I decided to take an unexpected walk today, I pushed myself to smile at everyone I passed and say Hello.. like frankie, most people were nice enough to smile back.
Although now I am trying my best to stop worrying after a fright. Out of nowhere my front door slammed shut, made me jump out of my skin, I thought the latch was down, and now i'm worrying. All sorts of stupid paranoid thoughts...
Whats that theory, where the simplest is most likely.. something to do with shaving. That means it was probably the wind, I just forgot to put the latch down.. There is nobody hiding in the cupboard. I'm trying to convince myself.
It seems to take like an hour to get over the smallest frights these days. No more jumpy horror flicks for me.
Hope everyone is doing well today.

[Enduronman]

NO HORROR FLICKS ALLOWED!!!

It looks as if today was better, and the stranger thing does work too!! So proud of you for the unexpected walk!!! Keep pushing yourself Abi.....

E-Man...:)

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you Frankie, E-Man :) I hope you're both having/had a good day.

Oh, and i'm not scared anymore I armed myself with kitchen knife and checked the cupboard, no one was hiding in there. Pheww! I think you're probably right about that Frankie, my imagination running away.

[Anxious Abi]

Would like to say thanks to everyone for all the advice given to me personally and also everything I have learnt around the forum in general since joining.
I sincerely wish everyone luck with their journey.

Byee.

[Anxious Abi]

OK, so my friend convinced me to start going back to kickboxing, I was feeling positive, so I went for it. Now I have to go on Friday and I'm feeling unsure. I really don't want to end up having a panic attack, seriously considering cancelling now. I want to make a positive step back to the old me, but I can't help but be apprehensive.

[NixonRulz]

OK, so my friend convinced me to start going back to kickboxing, I was feeling positive, so I went for it. Now I have to go on Friday and I'm feeling unsure. I really don't want to end up having a panic attack, seriously considering cancelling now. I want to make a positive step back to the old me, but I can't help but apprehensive.

Look at the bright side, Abi

If you have a panic attack while sparring, you surely will whip their ass with all that adrenaline!

Go. You will be just fine.

[BrokenWings001]

Kickboxing? Omg that's awesome! I'm so jealous lol i always wanted to take something like that. I'm sure you'll be awesome! I know your doubting but you nvr know till you try. :) It could be quite the opposite reaction... you could go kick butt and fall back into it like a routine and find your old self!!! :) Stay positive. Lil pushes like this can add up to big changes.

[Anxious Abi]

Thanks Nixon, Broken, I know you're right, I always struggle to get over my nerves and go for it.
I think I might write down all the reasons why I should go, and the negatives of not going, really get it to sink in.

[Anxious Abi]

There's a few good things today.. I didn't call and cancel for tomorrow, I managed to overcome all the doubts and stop myself from doing so. I learnt a lot, some things I can hopefully put into practice. I'm feeling more positive today, a little more energy. Facebook LOL, we'll see how that goes, I'm really trying to get better at talking with people, I've been trying to make my conversations with friends and family longer, attempting to talk to people I see out and about, it still seems a real struggle sometimes to put myself out there. I guess it's just that crippling fear of rejection. It's more comfortable to stay inside my shell, safe, where nobody can hurt me, but it's not healthy, I want to meet things and do people. Hopefully it will get easier. Also, I've not being worrying so much if nobody responds to something I say, it doesn't mean I'm a bad person, or not liked, it's OK.

[jessed03]

I'm really glad you're going through with it. It'll be useful for the subconscious. Eventually you have to go out there, and act, inspite of your anxieties, so that your subconscious can connect the pieces to enable you to finally become that person who can act without as much anxiety. Fake it til you make it isn't the whole story, but it's a very useful tool! So why not start now right?

You're very perceptive, so I know you're gonna figure that whole thing out and see it for yourself.

It's a good move :)

Hope you enjoy it. My sister loved kick boxing before she got pregnant. Seems really fun. Great workout too. Do you say KIAA.. or is that just karate?

[NeverToo...Fear]

Good for you Abi.. It sounds like you are really trying and figuring things out. Sometimes, we need to step out of our comfort zone to discover something for the better.
The kickboxing does sound like fun.. I've always wanted to do something like that. Let us know how it goes if you want!

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you for the positive and supportive messages. I did it, even as I went through the doors I thought I was going to walk straight back out, but I didn't. I'm actually really proud of myself, a tiny bit sore, but, I did it. It was fun, I had to stop towards to the end, I was told I was looking pale, but I feel fine now.
Hope you guys have had/having a great day.
:)

[Anxious Abi]

I saw the Crisis team yesterday, got my medication increased until my Psych appointment comes. Good thing.
I think i'm going to be off the forum for some time.
I don't think i'm an effective member, being that I am in quite a negative place right now.
I hope to continue to make changes and progress, perhaps I can return when I am more able to give positive and encouraging advice.
Thank you to everyone on the forum, it's a brilliant place.
Best wishes.

[NixonRulz]

I saw the Crisis team yesterday, got my medication increased until my Psych appointment comes. Good thing. I think i'm going to be off the forum for some time. I don't think i'm an effective member, being that I am in quite a negative place right now. I hope to continue to make changes and progress, perhaps I can return when I am more able to give positive and encouraging advice. Thank you to everyone on the forum, it's a brilliant place. Best wishes.

Abi. You don't have to be the one to give good advice to remain here with your friends

You ask for all the help you need and offer none to anyone for as long as you need

When you get well (which is coming soon), then you will be equipped to help others

We all help each other by paying it forward

There is no limit of what you have to offer people to be here

We have grown accustomed to seeing you here and being away will cause nothing good for us and hopefully you

If you do decide to go, I wish all the best and a speedy recovery and hope you will pop in now and again to update us

[jessed03]

I echo both of the above posts.

When you talk about what you're going through right now, and how you're feeling, I don't think that would mean you were being negative. Your just being real. This is a very, very horrible illness afterall.
To me, negativity is just a defeatist attitude; 'Im never gonna get better I'm just gonna sit in my room and do nothing, this is sooooo awful, I hate thisssss'. Over and over Etc

I think the steps you've taken show you're being very positive, despite your struggle at the moment. I don't think venting or feeling down or frustrated are traits of negativity. That's just human. We can all understand those.

If you feel a little time away will be good for you, that's cool, I'd just hate you to leave for the wrong reason is all :)

You're a very self aware, intelligent poster. Whether you do stay or go, it's always nice having you here, and best of luck with your new treatment that's beginning.

[bittersweetgirl]

I saw the Crisis team yesterday, got my medication increased until my Psych appointment comes. Good thing.
I think i'm going to be off the forum for some time.
I don't think i'm an effective member, being that I am in quite a negative place right now.
I hope to continue to make changes and progress, perhaps I can return when I am more able to give positive and encouraging advice.
Thank you to everyone on the forum, it's a brilliant place.
Best wishes.

I hope you'll stay! I don't think you and I have really "talked", but I'm in a rotten place right now too and trying to get an emergency counseling appt (med increase, all that stuff) - I feel relieved when I hear similar stories! Makes me feel less alone. So please don't worry that you're bringing anyone down.

[Anxious Abi]

Reading your posts, Frankie, Nixon, Jesse, bittersweet, I know you're right and now thinking maybe I am looking at things from the wrong perspective, thinking of staying away for the wrong reasons.
I do get preoccupied with worries about not wanting to be a burden on anybody, be a nuisance, bring anybody down, or open myself up too much. I guess i'm just feeling vulnerable and want to pull away from everything.
I hope to always have a 'home' here, I don't think i'll be able to stay away for too long. I just feel a bit mixed up right now.
Thank you for being here for me, I really appreciate it.

[NixonRulz]

You got it. If not for the forum today I don't like to think what I may have done. We are here.

You and me both, frankie

If I leave here, I officially would have 0 friends

Hope to see you soon, Abi

We will still be here

[NixonRulz]

If that's the case dear Nixon, the outside world don't know what they are missing :)

I told my wife you are hitting on me just so it makes me seem interesting to someone else

She laughed and called me a liar. LOL

[Anxious Abi]

I didn't give in to the urge to run away, and I messaged three people today, or attempted to anyway, I think I may have just messaged myself with one of them. Weird thing for me, I have no idea why I have such trouble with a small thing like that. Maybe getting over a little fear will help me with the big ones too.
Best wishes.

[NixonRulz]

I didn't give in to the urge to run away, and I messaged three people today, or attempted to anyway, I think I may have just messaged myself with one of them. Weird thing for me, I have no idea why I have such trouble with a small thing like that. Maybe getting over a little fear will help me with the big ones too. Best wishes.

That's the right attitude, Abi

And great to see you post again!

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you Nixon, I really sincerely appreciate you saying so.
How are you feeling today?

I was just reading a post that sent me on a bit of an emotional 'coaster. I went from feeling really empty and hopeless, to singing and dancing to cheesy music. 'Why do you lock yourself up in these chains??? No one can change your life, except for you, don't ever let anyone step all over you. Just open your heart and your minddd!!! Is it really fair to feel this wayyy insidee. O0oohhhh!' I'm not sure if that's normal LOL.

Y'all are so lucky you're not my neighbors.

[Anxious Abi]

Mum's still in hospital, but she's feeling much better, good thing.
I actually went out of my comfort zone and said yes to meeting up with someone I had just met for a drink in a few days, non alcoholic of course. No idea how i'm going to deal with that when it comes round, but he seemed nice enough. Good thing.
One out of the three people I sent a PM to replied, thank you Dahila, such a lovely person.
The sun is shining and the sky is blue, awesome thing.
I'm feeling OK so far today, positive.
Hope everyone else is doing good.

[needtogetwell]

Mum's still in hospital, but she's feeling much better, good thing. I actually went out of my comfort zone and said yes to meeting up with someone I had just met for a drink in a few days, non alcoholic of course. No idea how i'm going to deal with that when it comes round, but he seemed nice enough. Good thing. One out of the three people I sent a PM to replied, thank you Dahila, such a lovely person. The sun is shining and the sky is blue, awesome thing. I'm feeling OK so far today, positive. Hope everyone else is doing good.

Abi,

I'm so relieved to hear that your Mum is doing much better.

Your day sounds so positive! Keep the ball rolling! You are doing great!

Hope these good things keep coming your way, you deserve it!

Cheers! :)

[Anxious Abi]

Abi,

I'm so relieved to hear that your Mum is doing much better.

Your day sounds so positive! Keep the ball rolling! You are doing great!

Hope these good things keep coming your way, you deserve it!

Cheers! :)

Thank you so much! It really helps me when I get a positive and encouraging message once in a while.
I hope you're doing well.
:)

[Anxious Abi]

Upadatus.
I will just take a minute to think of some of the good things that have happened lately.
My Mum went home, and is doing much better. The weather has been fine. While I have been plagued with some real nasty IT's, they haven't stopped me doing things. Meditation has been going well. I went for that drink, it was nice, I was nervous, but it went OK. Exchanging numbers and arranging to meet up again, means I made a new friend right? That's definitely progress. I forgot how nice it is just to listen to someone talk, to get to know someone, it's not as scary as I thought it was.

..6 7 8 9 10, then I let it go again, why did you let it go? Because, it bit my finger so..

Best wishes,
Abi

[needtogetwell]

Hi abi,

So nice to read your update, glad mum is doing well out of hospital. Must be glad that is over!

So.. You did go out for that drink! Yay!!!

I'm so glad that went better than you expected.

Sounds like your days are getting better, that makes my day! Even a day that is starting off at 4:45. Ugggg it's so early!

Keep up the great work! You are doing really well.

Cheers!
Pam

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you Frankie, Pam, I love logging on to find such nice comments, hope you guys are doing well also.

I just got back from seeing the Psychiatrist, I feel, disappointed, confused and a little upset. I feel like I need a heavy drink and a hug or something.
I don't know why, it never seems to go how I expect, I always leave feeling like I didn't say what I wanted to.
Another slight increase with Citalopram and Risperidone. I feel like there might be another combination that might work better for me, but he doesn't seem open to moving away from these and the Venlafaxine.
Hopefully it helps. I don't know.

Abi

[needtogetwell]

Hi Abi,

Well I can help with the hug. Huggggggssss!

Sorry you don't feel so great about the appointment, I often felt as you do, but eventually came to realize that a psdoc s job is to get you thinking, finding your own answers.

Hang in there. It will be ok.
Pam

[Anxious Abi]

Hi Abi,

Well I can help with the hug. Huggggggssss!

Sorry you don't feel so great about the appointment, I often felt as you do, but eventually came to realize that a psdoc s job is to get you thinking, finding your own answers.

Hang in there. It will be ok.
Pam

Hey Pam, thank you, that is really nice of you. I'll try to keep hanging in there, hopefully things improve.
I hope your day has been good.


Hi Abi :)

Do you ever take in notes to guide you through the things you wish to discuss. Makes it harder for them to rattle you then. Your armed with a list and your indignation then! I'm sure as hell taking mine tomorrow!

I too will probably want a shot and a hug after it all the same too !

Hiya Frankie,
I did write a list of things that have been worrying me, and symptoms etc, I put it in my pocket and then in the appointment never got it out... I don't know why, I just didn't. Every time I go, as soon as I sit down, i'm just, yes Dr, no Dr, OK Dr.. I get so frustrated with myself.
I'm glad i'm not the only one who feels that way after.
I hope things go well for you in your appointment tomorrow.

I think you're both lovely, thank you for taking the time.
Abi

[needtogetwell]

Hey Pam, thank you, that is really nice of you. I'll try to keep hanging in there, hopefully things improve. I hope your day has been good. Hiya Frankie, I did write a list of things that have been worrying me, and symptoms etc, I put it in my pocket and then in the appointment never got it out... I don't know why, I just didn't. Every time I go, as soon as I sit down, i'm just, yes Dr, no Dr, OK Dr.. I get so frustrated with myself. I'm glad i'm not the only one who feels that way after. I hope things go well for you in your appointment tomorrow. I think you're both lovely, thank you for taking the time. Abi

Abi,

I have had a spectacular day! Feel great! Thank you for asking.

Just feel a bit guilty that there are so many here who are struggling.

I just hope that I can show a few people that life can be great once you get through the rough patches!

Trust me, I know all about rough patches. My last one was about a week and a half ago , and thankfully it only lasted 3 days.

There is a light at the end of everyone's tunnel, just keep going toward it!

Cheers!
Pam

[Anxious Abi]

That's ok. A part of that is because maybe we feel a bit lost and confused about how this is happening to us and we tend to defer to the opinions of docs. It's like how you are not supposed to look at your file! Geez it's about us. Our treatment. They merely use educated guesses. All the while toting an inflated ego. It's supremely frustrating.

Our lack of confidence plays right into that sadly.

Do not spend any more of your precious time dwelling on it. The next chance you get go back with your list again and it maybe the time you find yourself producing it.

Perhaps take a pen and say you want to write down the little notes they give you so you don't forget them. That way you have to keep your notes to discuss out and to hand. Actively being a part of your treatment is your right too Abi. We easily forget that I know.

Shouldn't be so darn difficult eh. This is the part where we want to come out feeling encouraged.

Go easy on yourself Abi. :)

Thank you Frankie, you're totally right, I love how you completely understand, I appreciate your advice. I have to try and remember that actively being part of my treatment is my right. If you catch this, I really hope you're doing well.


Abi,

I have had a spectacular day! Feel great! Thank you for asking.

Just feel a bit guilty that there are so many here who are struggling.

I just hope that I can show a few people that life can be great once you get through the rough patches!

Trust me, I know all about rough patches. My last one was about a week and a half ago , and thankfully it only lasted 3 days.

There is a light at the end of everyone's tunnel, just keep going toward it!

Cheers!
Pam

I hope all your days are spectacular!
There's no need to feel guilty, you offer wonderful and kind support, it is very encouraging.
It makes my day.


The Good..
I taught my niece how to play twinkle twinkle little star and chopsticks on the keyboard.
I got past my barriers and invited my new friend over..
I faced an old addiction and did not give in.
I had the confidence to potentially give up new friendship and ask him and his friend to leave.
I'm feeling quite proud of myself, tonight was actually really rough, but I got through it.

Best wishes,
Abs.