Obsessive compulsive disorder

[Hannah_28]

Mine is making it impossible for me to leave the house. How can I b normal I just want to enjoy life like everybody else but I hate it so much I can't even cry because I'm convinced my own tears are dirty help me please.

[Anxious Abi]

Hey, it sounds like you're going through a really rough and intense time with your OCD. I'm not really sure how to help, but I would like to say you are not alone. I don't know a lot about OCD but I know it can come in all different forms, and affect everyone differently. I personally have a compulsive habit that I find extremely hard to deal with and quite embarrassing sometimes, I realize it is quite different to what you're experiencing, but after spending a little time searching the web I found a website that finally helped me understand my Compulsion. (For those who are interested what I experience I now know is called, 'Compulsive and Self Injurious Skin Picking (SISP)') I have also experienced disturbing and repeated images/thoughts after an incident that impacted my anxiety severely.
I'm going on a bit and it probably isn't helping, but I found just typing in OCD into Google was a good step in gaining a little perspective, read other peoples stories, get advice. Maybe there are some more experienced OCD sufferers on here that can offer a little advice too.
I really hope you start to feel a little better soon.
Abi

[Hannah_28]

It's escalated recently because someone commented on my chair being damp on a hot day at work I'm now obsessed with how dirty sweat is and cannot go out for fear of making this worse I struggle with everyday activities even going to the toilet it's effectively ended my life as I'm failing to function normally there's nothing I like about myself I can't even have a relationship because I won't be able to be intimate with anyone. Thanks for responding it means a lot even if u think you haven't helped just seeing that someone had replied lifted my spirits a little.

[NixonRulz]

Mine is making it impossible for me to leave the house. How can I b normal I just want to enjoy life like everybody else but I hate it so much I can't even cry because I'm convinced my own tears are dirty help me please.

Have you spoken with a therapist who specializes in OCD? Are you currently taking any medication?

I know somewhere inside of you, you realize that you or your tears are dirty

But the OCD, which goes hand in hand with anxiety, is trying to fool you into believing that you are not a clean person.

This disorder hits so many people in so many different ways.

You will easily get over this once you start down the right path with the proper help

When anyone gets really upset or stressed, it's hard to see that to be true.

But trust me when I tell you that you will get better. I was a mess for quite a long time and never thought it would end

It did.

It always does.

[Hannah_28]

I've been suffering with this for years since I was 14 I'm now 28 I have been to my gp on numerous occasions have been in hospital and seen various therapists I feel I must b beyond help as inspite of all of the above I am still the same the only thing I feel I can do is to go out as little as possible as this is when things get worse and therefore avoiding it will go someway to quell my ocd. I hope.

[Anxious Abi]

I have experienced the exact same thing with the sweat thing, especially when my anxiety got worse, I started to sweat more, for me it was especially on my face, it would just pour from my forehead. I got so focused on the fact that people would notice, I didn't want to go out either. For years I've hated the summer months because I can't go anywhere without feeling uncomfortable or aware that I am sweating. I used to shower 3-4 times a day, it ended up drying my skin out and causing problems with excema.
Getting anxious just made it even worse, just the thought of going out would make me sweat and bring on a panic attack.
I tried to get over it by realizing that everybody sweats, it is a normal bodily function, a necessary one that is out of our control. I added little things to my routine to try and help, like now I always tie my hair right back, got over my fear of showing my scars and starting wearing less layered clothes so I didn't feel as warm.
I have to admit I hate myself too, loathe myself, to the point that even thinking about being intimate with someone makes me want to cry. I wonder if I will ever function normally, be able to have a 'normal' life.
I think maybe being normal is too much to ask of ourselves, what is normal anyway? Perhaps all we can do is try and gain the knowledge and tools to learn to cope with our problems a little better.
I think avoiding the things that bring out your OCD might not help you actually cope with it. I understand that it gets tiring when you feel beyond help, but you're not on your own.

[Hannah_28]

Crying from reading your post its such a relief to hear someone who has had the same experiences as me reading your words is is like reading my mind I literally could've written that I have had two days off work I was supposed to go to college yesterday and see my family today but I couldn't I'm gettin more reclusive as the days go on you're right in that its wrong to avoid things and also right in the reasons that you think I do it's just so exhausting going from day to day with this I'm finding myself shutting off and shutting down more and more I hope for both of us there can be a better future and that you too can find comfort in knowing that you are not the only one and indeed what is 'normal'.

[mykids12]

It took awhile for me to realize it but I do have an OCD about my house and wanting it clean. I can't stand when it's not. It almost sets me into a hissy fit :(.

[Hannah_28]

I really have to control my reactions to anything that sets off my ocd in public it's so hard to to have a hissy fit at something you need to control but for whatever reason cannot.

[mykids12]

Yep I understand that

[Hannah_28]

*not to have a hissy fit not to to. But yes ocd is so stressful i honestly can't see an end to mine. How do you cope with yours?

[mykids12]

I haven't found a way yet really. I usually snap at my kids or husband when something's a mess at home and then I feel so bad for getting upset at something so silly. I'm on lorazepam but it doesn't seem to help other than make me feel loopy.

[Hannah_28]

I never found prescribed medication to work I'm trying natural remedies instead next on my list is green tea don't feel bad for taking things out on your family I think we've all been guilty of that at some point.

[mykids12]

I try to control it, I even tell myself not to get upset but doesn't work the way I plan it to :). Regarding the sweat, I've noticed that I sweat a lot more with the anxiety to the point of actually feeling myself wet under my arms and somewhere I read that anxiety sweat has a different smell than just regular sweat so now I'm sure I stink when I get anxious lol. I keep thinking I must be buying the wrong kind of deodorant but then it happens no matter what kind I use. The second my adrenaline starts pumping I can feel it. Lovely isn't it :)?

[Hannah_28]

Oh yes I've tried every deodorant including extra strength ones and none seem to help at all in convinced I smell and that people can tell made worse by the comment at work as any time that my anxiety is exposed makes it worse abs more real if that makes sense I'm dreading tomorrow as u have to work and so have to go out I've been avoiding sitting anywhere since it happened and so have been more tired and stressed its am endless cycle. I too do the talking myself down thing like little pep talks inside my head doesn't always work tho but we keep trying eh? Wish it was easier to convey to others how hard it is.