GeneralWorrier
06-02-2013, 11:58 AM
Okay I'm sorry for how long this is going to be but I really can't do it anymore, I have posted this earlier but I wanted as many people to read it as they can so I can get a wider range of advice, there's so much going on I feel like I'm about explode.
I'm 17 and have suffered anxiety for 2 years, it's been fairly average over this time but it's definitely turned high over the past 3/4 months and I'll explain why in a second but the thing that's tipped it is that my teacher at sixth form has recently been asking how I am, I've noticed he's paying attention to me a lot more than before, always tries to catch me on my own. As this is a small sixth form the classes are very small, in my sport course there are only 6 people, 1 of them is rarely there as it clashes with English but anyway that cuts it down to 5. He'll ask the others to go and do different tasks until it's just me in the room and he'll ask me if everything's okay. He's such a nice man, I see him more as a friend than a teacher. But his wife is expecting a baby any minute and he's already a teacher as it is so that's hard enough. I always say I'm fine and that I'm just tired which has bought me time but I think he's trying to get other people involved and I'm so scared. This is what's been going on recently in my life:
- I've just been diagnosed with PCOS and my ovaries are full of cysts, after weeks of tests I've now been told I won't be able to have children in the future. Without wanting to sound cheap, I've always wanted to have my own family and being told at my age I won't be able to is kind of hard.
- I'm being tested for uterine cancer as they think there may be a link, just awaiting the results now.
- My dad has moved away (split with my mum when I was 7), he now lives over 5 hours away and he didn't even say goodbye. He's now too busy with his 'new family'. - 2 of my relatives died in a car crash 4 weeks ago.
- 1 of my relatives died 2 weeks ago of old age as I was there, I usually looked after her as we were a mischievous pair! Haha, I loved her dearly and we were watching some rubbish film on telly together cuddled up. It wasn't until an hour later I realised she'd passed away peacefully in her sleep with her arm around me. She looked so peaceful just like she was asleep and I can't seem to shake that image from my head.
- 2 months ago I was walking home from sixth form when I noticed a shadow in the bush I thought nothing of it until I saw a hand, I thought it was just kids playing a joke but it turned out that an elderly lady had fallen out of her bungalow and hit her head but she must have been there a while as she'd passed away by the time I'd managed to try and help.
- My youngest older brother (if that makes sense!) is at university and has nearly finished his first year, I miss him so much, I know people say this all the time but I really was close to him. I've never known a brother-sister bond like it, we'd do absolutely everything together and it killed me to see him go. I didn't want to show him I was upset so I kept it together, I wanted him to have the best time he could.
- My anxiety is getting worse and my family seriously don't understand, no matter how much I try explain they don't seem to get it. I have a very old-fashioned family when it comes down to beliefs of life. By beliefs I mean things like, they belief in 'hard graft' you get what you work for kind of thing. As much as I love them they all said to me "Natalie that is ridiculous, don't be so silly you aren't one of 'them'. It's all in your head you silly girl, just stop worrying. Go out and have fun I'm sure it's not that hard, I wish I'd had the chance to do what you can do when I was your age." My anxiety has got worse so quickly and I'm on a few medications and starting CBT & counselling soon maybe in a few weeks, but it's making me I'll and I'm getting worse because I'm scared of letting my family down.
- I have lost so much weight, find myself getting that on edge it's ridiculous, making myself physically sick worrying, trying to avoid people at sixth form who are caring and on top of all of this I'm trying to hide all this from my family because they do not believe in it and thinks its silly. I've tried telling them over and over but it gets me nowhere and makes me feel like I'm not worth anything.
But down to the situation I was explaining at the start is I really don't want anyone finding out about anything that's going on, it's going to make me look weak and I worry more when people know who could tell my family what's going on at any moment. With his wife being pregnant I don't want to stress him out or anything, I'm grateful for him caring and I think in time I would tell him but I presume he'll tell more important staff.
My family do not know about the cancer or not being able to have children as I didn't want to let them down, I've been to all testings and results on my own, I think the cancer will be clear as they said they're just ruling it out to be certain on PCOS.
I'm really worried my sport teacher is going to try and let more important staff something is wrong as I've been a little down in lessons given the situation. I'm quiet anyway so usually they don't notice but I've been day dreaming so bad just thinking about everything and getting anxious I think they've started to notice something is wrong.
Please help :(
I'm 17 and have suffered anxiety for 2 years, it's been fairly average over this time but it's definitely turned high over the past 3/4 months and I'll explain why in a second but the thing that's tipped it is that my teacher at sixth form has recently been asking how I am, I've noticed he's paying attention to me a lot more than before, always tries to catch me on my own. As this is a small sixth form the classes are very small, in my sport course there are only 6 people, 1 of them is rarely there as it clashes with English but anyway that cuts it down to 5. He'll ask the others to go and do different tasks until it's just me in the room and he'll ask me if everything's okay. He's such a nice man, I see him more as a friend than a teacher. But his wife is expecting a baby any minute and he's already a teacher as it is so that's hard enough. I always say I'm fine and that I'm just tired which has bought me time but I think he's trying to get other people involved and I'm so scared. This is what's been going on recently in my life:
- I've just been diagnosed with PCOS and my ovaries are full of cysts, after weeks of tests I've now been told I won't be able to have children in the future. Without wanting to sound cheap, I've always wanted to have my own family and being told at my age I won't be able to is kind of hard.
- I'm being tested for uterine cancer as they think there may be a link, just awaiting the results now.
- My dad has moved away (split with my mum when I was 7), he now lives over 5 hours away and he didn't even say goodbye. He's now too busy with his 'new family'. - 2 of my relatives died in a car crash 4 weeks ago.
- 1 of my relatives died 2 weeks ago of old age as I was there, I usually looked after her as we were a mischievous pair! Haha, I loved her dearly and we were watching some rubbish film on telly together cuddled up. It wasn't until an hour later I realised she'd passed away peacefully in her sleep with her arm around me. She looked so peaceful just like she was asleep and I can't seem to shake that image from my head.
- 2 months ago I was walking home from sixth form when I noticed a shadow in the bush I thought nothing of it until I saw a hand, I thought it was just kids playing a joke but it turned out that an elderly lady had fallen out of her bungalow and hit her head but she must have been there a while as she'd passed away by the time I'd managed to try and help.
- My youngest older brother (if that makes sense!) is at university and has nearly finished his first year, I miss him so much, I know people say this all the time but I really was close to him. I've never known a brother-sister bond like it, we'd do absolutely everything together and it killed me to see him go. I didn't want to show him I was upset so I kept it together, I wanted him to have the best time he could.
- My anxiety is getting worse and my family seriously don't understand, no matter how much I try explain they don't seem to get it. I have a very old-fashioned family when it comes down to beliefs of life. By beliefs I mean things like, they belief in 'hard graft' you get what you work for kind of thing. As much as I love them they all said to me "Natalie that is ridiculous, don't be so silly you aren't one of 'them'. It's all in your head you silly girl, just stop worrying. Go out and have fun I'm sure it's not that hard, I wish I'd had the chance to do what you can do when I was your age." My anxiety has got worse so quickly and I'm on a few medications and starting CBT & counselling soon maybe in a few weeks, but it's making me I'll and I'm getting worse because I'm scared of letting my family down.
- I have lost so much weight, find myself getting that on edge it's ridiculous, making myself physically sick worrying, trying to avoid people at sixth form who are caring and on top of all of this I'm trying to hide all this from my family because they do not believe in it and thinks its silly. I've tried telling them over and over but it gets me nowhere and makes me feel like I'm not worth anything.
But down to the situation I was explaining at the start is I really don't want anyone finding out about anything that's going on, it's going to make me look weak and I worry more when people know who could tell my family what's going on at any moment. With his wife being pregnant I don't want to stress him out or anything, I'm grateful for him caring and I think in time I would tell him but I presume he'll tell more important staff.
My family do not know about the cancer or not being able to have children as I didn't want to let them down, I've been to all testings and results on my own, I think the cancer will be clear as they said they're just ruling it out to be certain on PCOS.
I'm really worried my sport teacher is going to try and let more important staff something is wrong as I've been a little down in lessons given the situation. I'm quiet anyway so usually they don't notice but I've been day dreaming so bad just thinking about everything and getting anxious I think they've started to notice something is wrong.
Please help :(