At cardiologist appointment

[Blessed]

At my docs right now my bp is 131/90 something heart rate is 96..... Yep my anxiety is doing what it does best. I hope they don't want to increase my meds. I'm real nervous. Any ideas on what I should be asking?

[Blessed]

So aggravated I can't believe I'm having anxiety attack right now. I am a nervous wreck. I just read in one of their magazines that depression and anxiety more than DOUBLES your risk of heart attack or stroke!!!! Wow something new to jack my mind up!!!! I thought anxiety could not hurt you?!?!?!

[missmello]

Hope everything went well at your appointment. That heart attack thing probably only applies to people who already at risk for heart attack or stroke, so don't worry. I feel like I shouldn't be reading ANYTHING and only trusting my doctors. An anxious mind love to run wild with information like that.

[Blessed]

I agree totally. They suggested hooking me up to a heart monitor for a month to record any abnormalities. I pray this will ease my mind and answer any question I have.

[Blessed]

I pray that the tests they find in this month will be normal and I can quit obsessing over this heart issue. They wanted to increase my atenolol but I asked them to wait until I do this heart monitor deal

[missmello]

A whole month, wow. Yeah after the results of that you should definitely stop worrying! lol! I agree with your decision on the meds, your anxiety is probably throwing off your heart rate and blood pressure, and once you get a clean bill of health your body will even itself out. Good luck!

[Blessed]

That's what I'm praying for . Thank you greatly!

[krayziee]

Not to scare you but I believe your anxiety will just find something else to worry about. To me it doesn't sound like a solution having this heart monitor, this can pull you in more and make you more obsessed with your health.

When you record this bpm and bp are you anxious? Try to record it when you are relaxed.

[Blessed]

I'm afraid I agree. I'm already anxious since the moment they put it on me. I have to press the button when I feel a heart palp,Etc then write down what I was doing, the date, time And my symptom. I thought this would help prove all is well. Now I'm worried about what if they do find something and I have to be put on meds for that??? I hate this crap

[sharacel91]

Blessed, I have a massive heart fear. Always fearing the worse when I feel a pal or chest pain or anything to Do with that area even a pain in my neck ect. I feel like I'm Getting better as I've had it for so long now an I'm still here. But part if me wants some tests done. My doctor refuses to give me any :( and I feel if I had these done I would feel a lot more at ease. I'm tempted to go back to her and see what she says. She wants me to go on med but I just can't face it and I've read bad things about them... Which scare me even more. That thing you read in your appt has scared me a lot as well to be honest :/

[krayziee]

I'm afraid I agree. I'm already anxious since the moment they put it on me. I have to press the button when I feel a heart palp,Etc then write down what I was doing, the date, time And my symptom. I thought this would help prove all is well. Now I'm worried about what if they do find something and I have to be put on meds for that??? I hate this crap

If I Had go do that every time, I would have written a book in a week. Hehe. Your heart is fine, you panic instinct on the other hand..

It's really normal to try the fix the symptoms because they are the worst, but to fix your problem you have to go to the cause of your symptoms. Try to get a good therapist to get to the root of it, because your anxiety is really high, I just noticed from your reply.

Try to relax and act relaxed, at first it might look unnatural but after a while you will get used to it body and mind wise. Also if your heart is your biggest fear try to exercise and see what great lenghts your body can still go, believe in your body because now you are neclecting it and it is responding accordingly.

I don't know everything but this much i do know.

[krayziee]

Also panic is a addiction in it's own way. It wants reassurance everything is okay, and it keeps wanting it over and over and more frequently. Like i said fix the root and not feed the bad wolf.

[locksey]

I'm afraid I agree. I'm already anxious since the moment they put it on me. I have to press the button when I feel a heart palp,Etc then write down what I was doing, the date, time And my symptom. I thought this would help prove all is well. Now I'm worried about what if they do find something and I have to be put on meds for that??? I hate this crap

I wore one ov those and had to do the same thing sum years bak .... It was fine and sumtimes I'd pressed it bcz I thought I was feeling palpitations and wen they checked it my heart rate had been normal ... It was all anxiety...
I know this wont make u feel any better as yr prob thinking " what if " there diagnosis cud be wrong , 2nd opinion , what if u got sumones else's results .... I had all these thoughts and fones dctr to make sure report def said my name on it .... Anxiety really messes u up !!
Hope yr ok

[Blessed]

I wore one ov those and had to do the same thing sum years bak .... It was fine and sumtimes I'd pressed it bcz I thought I was feeling palpitations and wen they checked it my heart rate had been normal ... It was all anxiety...
I know this wont make u feel any better as yr prob thinking " what if " there diagnosis cud be wrong , 2nd opinion , what if u got sumones else's results .... I had all these thoughts and fones dctr to make sure report def said my name on it .... Anxiety really messes u up !!
Hope yr ok

How long did you where yours for?

[nf1234]

Blessed I have done numerous EKG's and I wore a 24 hour heart monitor also. It was no big deal and finally gave me some peace of mind :)

[Blessed]

Well why the world do I have to wear mine for a month? I mean that's alot of palps to record . Is that truly necessary? Is there a reason he wants me to go so long???? This is driving me nuts

[Judie]

I wore one ov those and had to do the same thing sum years bak .... It was fine and sumtimes I'd pressed it bcz I thought I was feeling palpitations and wen they checked it my heart rate had been normal ... It was all anxiety...
I know this wont make u feel any better as yr prob thinking " what if " there diagnosis cud be wrong , 2nd opinion , what if u got sumones else's results .... I had all these thoughts and fones dctr to make sure report def said my name on it .... Anxiety really messes u up !!
Hope yr ok I wore one as well, it's called a Holter Monitor. Everyone wears one that has anxiety tachycardia ( rapid heartbeat) just to rule out any problems, there won't be :)

[locksey]

How long did you where yours for?
Think it was for 48hrs but cud ov been 24

[Amanda93]

I'm afraid I agree. I'm already anxious since the moment they put it on me. I have to press the button when I feel a heart palp,Etc then write down what I was doing, the date, time And my symptom. I thought this would help prove all is well. Now I'm worried about what if they do find something and I have to be put on meds for that??? I hate this crap

Hello blessed I have to have a ecg fitted too. Hoepfully soon . Mine is only for 24 hours though . I think it will help you especially if your having it for a month . Because you have had the symptoms so long plus you will have one of the most important tests to rule out if its any anything to do with the heart. Maybe you wont relax at first but atleast you will know you have the all clear. I cant wait to have mine. Im getting better by the day ive had it just over 2 months now and Drs told me it MAY be anxiety so I had propranolol to help with the palptations, but I still kept getting the tight chest ect, so I went to the hosp again last weekend and now they saying it MAY be gastic reflux so im on lansoprazole to treat thatq and I must say I havent had as much pain as I have so im hoping its just that. Still going to go for my 24 hour ecg, this will put my mind at ease, because they tell u to press the button and write down what you feel when your having them, so once thw professional is looking at it they can match up the times and look for any abnormalities e.g. skipped heartbeats, fast heartbeat. Although a fast heart beat isnt too much to worry about I went to hosp one day with a heart rate of 169. And im still here, and next door to me was a 16 year old 18 weeks pregnant and hers was 220. So for anyone who gets worried of theirs being 98 im sure you will be fine.

Sorry for babbling on there, but I think this month heart monitor will put your mind at ease. Keep telling yourself its the test that determines that your ok, that its the the most important test to prove you are not having heart problems. And when everything comes back clear I think you will be that one step ahead to recovery :)

[Amanda93]

Well why the world do I have to wear mine for a month? I mean that's alot of palps to record . Is that truly necessary? Is there a reason he wants me to go so long???? This is driving me nuts

I think it all depends how long you have had anxiety? And how bad your Dr thinks your anxiety it, they may put you on it for a month to show you that they are paying attention to you and that a month will give them a wider range of results over a longer time span, this is the reason why I think.it will put your mind at ease more because they are looking at a months worth of results. Also I think it depends on the country you live in as some countries have poorer healthcare than others?

X

[nf1234]

I would ask your doctor those questions. But either way it will be good and give you peace of mind. I would think a whole month would make you feel better because that way there is no chance that the monitor missed anything. As I said mine was indeed for 24 hours but that was enough time to see what they needed. They actually did see the palps and they were at the exact times that I felt them. Which was a relief to know I wasn't just imagining things! But they said they are harmless and many people have them due to things like stress, anxiety, caffeine, lack of sleep, ect. If you've had the normal blood work done and now your going to do this you should be excited. Because once you get the OK from the halter report you can stop worrying. I know easier said than done but you need to learn to trust modern medicine. Doctors take issues of the heart very serious and they would not tell you something is fine if it were not. That would be a huge liability on their part.

So yes I still get the palps and they are uncomfortable but I don't let it freak me out or stress me. There are remedies you can try but wait until you get the halter monitor done and see what they say.

My main question is how is your sleeping? Are you fatigued daily? Also do you drink a lot of caffeine?


Well why the world do I have to wear mine for a month? I mean that's alot of palps to record . Is that truly necessary? Is there a reason he wants me to go so long???? This is driving me nuts

[Blessed]

I try to limit caffeine and drink lots of water don't smoke etc. it's hard to get to sleep sometimes I just lay there and worry

[nf1234]

I try to limit caffeine and drink lots of water don't smoke etc. it's hard to get to sleep sometimes I just lay there and worry

Yes I know sleep is my main issue. That is why I have the palps because of lack of sleep/fatigue. When I was taken sleep meds regularly the palps went away but I don't want to get dependent on them so now I take the natural route. Have you ever tried magnesium? They are supposed to work wonders for folks with heart palps.

[Blessed]

What kind of magnesium should I try?

[nf1234]

Magnesium Taurate, Magnesium Glycinate, or an awesome Magnesium product called Natural Calm. The Natural Calm is this powdered magnesium and you warm up a cup of water like your going to make tea. Then you mix in the directed amount of magnesium powder and it makes a nice warm drink. You feel its calming effects immediately.

Here's the amazon reviews if you wanna check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Raspberry-Lemon-Flavor/product-reviews/B000WVY4PE/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Im not sure where you live but Vitamin Shoppe stores should have all three of those mag products. Or you can get them online from swanson, iherb, or amazon.

[Blessed]

Will check into this thanks

[scared44]

Will check into this thanks

I'm having MAJOR problems with sleep atm! Last night I went to bed within 5 mins i went into a panic attack layed there till 5.20am thismorning and only had 3hrs and am feeling like shit:( I have had enough of all of it. I'm sick to death of fighting every minute of the day. I'm taking valium,ativan and Avanza and they do nothing it's like putting a lollie in my system! I had a major surgery (one of many) 10yrs ago for bowel cancer and I lost my large colon and half of the small bowel and have a permanent ileostomy (bag) due to having this I have terrible trouble absorbing food and tablets as they go straight through me and into my bag. I'm a my wits end atm and dont want to go on anymore. 28yrs is long enough and it's getting worse?????? I just dont know anymore :(

[Judie]

I'm having MAJOR problems with sleep atm! Last night I went to bed within 5 mins i went into a panic attack layed there till 5.20am thismorning and only had 3hrs and am feeling like shit:( I have had enough of all of it. I'm sick to death of fighting every minute of the day. I'm taking valium,ativan and Avanza and they do nothing it's like putting a lollie in my system! I had a major surgery (one of many) 10yrs ago for bowel cancer and I lost my large colon and half of the small bowel and have a permanent ileostomy (bag) due to having this I have terrible trouble absorbing food and tablets as they go straight through me and into my bag. I'm a my wits end atm and dont want to go on anymore. 28yrs is long enough and it's getting worse?????? I just dont know anymore :(
Scared44, I am so sorry that is just horrible. When Anxiety is beating us down, it's very hard to remain focused on positive. I have a close friend that has had a similar path. Can you Stop the negative thoughts at all when you feel the first symptoms of the attack coming on the " impending doom" If you could just manage to say a command of " STOP and dismiss immediately as harmless anxiety and deep breathe. What were you thinking about before bed ? Do you see triggers ? It getting worse, could that be Perimenopause ? Have you tried other antidepressants ? I personally believe at the root of many, if not most Panic Disorders there is a death anxiety. Being chronically ill is murder on the Psych. I know that when I had Surgical Biopsies ( 3 , all Benign) the waiting for Pathology Results to come back Damned near killed me. Why? Because we Anxiety sufferers are conditioned to always go to the worst case scenario. You have had/ are having a really tough go of it but please try to remain as positive as possible. What do you do for fun ? Do you have hobbies? I paint ( I am an artist) the focus involved in any type of art is very therapeutic. You tend to empty your mind of any thoughts except your Art. Choice of colors, subject matter all are excellent ways of releasing emotion ( you could be the next Van Gogh( a highly depressed individual ) 28 years is a long time and as I mentioned mine is 29 years ( trust me I am not trying to one up you lol ) I remember you said your anxiety started at 12 ? Do you know what the trigger was ? You know regardless of what anyone says physical health problems are relentless in their continual battering of our thoughts, very hard not to get depressed. But I know, because of our commonality in long standing anxiety that You have it in you stand right back up again, no matter how many times this " attempts" to knock you down. Let's try to figure out something that brings YOU happiness and give this Panic a time out. Let's work on putting that to bed. Do not get discouraged !!! Feel Better. PM Me if you want I would really like to get to know you better !

[Judie]

I'm afraid I agree. I'm already anxious since the moment they put it on me. I have to press the button when I feel a heart palp,Etc then write down what I was doing, the date, time And my symptom. I thought this would help prove all is well. Now I'm worried about what if they do find something and I have to be put on meds for that??? I hate this crap

Blessed, Worst case scenario they find something wrong and they put you on meds, so what, that's not that bad. You are actually better off taking /writing down what you were doing when you are in fact anxious. What he is determining is if the BP increase is in direct relation to your anxiety ( which it most probably is )then he will know the best way to treat you. For instance if you have essential hypertension ( no known reason) they treat that from a lot of different angles, beta blockers, ace inhibitor etc.. To control the BP. But if they can see that your BP is caused by the anxiety ( PVCs - heart palps ) then your DR will go after the Stress as the culprit and work on lowering or getting rid of that. You have got to believe. Krayziee is right, anxiety has a grip on you, even after the Monitor is cleared, your mind will still go to the worst case scenario until you can accept what your DR and all of us here on the Forum are telling you. I feel so sad when I read some of the posts by the people on the Forum, it brings back such memories. Are you a stay at home Mom ? Do you find time for yourself ? Hobbies ? Get some rest and think about the hobbies you are going to tell me about. I bet you are a cook ? ( after all you have a 12 year old son - he will soon be eating you out of house and home). XO

[Blessed]

I work full time have 2 children and we are always on the go never home we race cars every weekend and I sit at the track and think on horrible thoughts. So never home to cook. The thought of more meds or increasing meds is so depressing I just don't want to have to resort to that. I go to gym when I can I have a personal trainer once a week and for that hour my mind is usually ok. Any idle time and I flare right back up.

[Judie]

Blessed, I have a massive heart fear. Always fearing the worse when I feel a pal or chest pain or anything to Do with that area even a pain in my neck ect. I feel like I'm Getting better as I've had it for so long now an I'm still here. But part if me wants some tests done. My doctor refuses to give me any :( and I feel if I had these done I would feel a lot more at ease. I'm tempted to go back to her and see what she says. She wants me to go on med but I just can't face it and I've read bad things about them... Which scare me even more. That thing you read in your appt has scared me a lot as well to be honest :/

Hi Sharacel91, Both you and Blessed are suffering from Panic Disorder, nothing more, nothing less ( as Fear is a tremendously powerful emotion). You are both so wrapped in the fear of an attack and the harmless symptoms that are battering your mind/body that you have lost sight of the true issue, the " trigger" of your Panic Attacks. I'm not sure why the mind does this. I have always believed that the mind was using the body to create these horrific symptoms to make us take notice and seek help for the horrors of the anxiety and in doing that we find help for the true issue.. I still believe this but Now I am entertaining the idea that perhaps concentrating on the anxiety our mind is allowed to not focus on the trauma that triggered the disorder to begin with. Perhaps giving us a break from that pain.Makes sense because so many Panic Disorders are triggered by health or death anxiety ( the loss of someone we love to death, chronic illness or divorce/ break up ) Injured self esteem falls within triggers as well but when you think about it an injured self esteem is in fact " the death or dying of one's self . I know what triggered Blessed's Panic, it was very similar to what triggered mine. In the last year have you been traumatized by any of the above. I think it's important to recognize that trigger it allows us to accept that the trauma has ignited a paralyzing fear in the form of " Harmless Symptoms". If for instance you have lost someone to death, it is easier for you to understand how your mind through negative thoughts were producing symptoms in which " you too thought you were dying" Do you see what's going on ? I would be willing to share more with you as examples of what's going on but you be willing to tell me a little about the year surrounding your Panic Attacks surfacing ? What is the " appt" you are afraid of in Blessed's post. I am going to keep an eye on you and Blessed, you two are going to fuel each other's anxiety :). Try to calm down,tell your Dr to run the basic tests to reassure you, if he doesn't you could change DRS ? It sounds like he is very confident this is anxiety. Let me know what you think triggered your Panic. Be Well. , Positive

[scared44]

Scared44, I am so sorry that is just horrible. When Anxiety is beating us down, it's very hard to remain focused on positive. I have a close friend that has had a similar path. Can you Stop the negative thoughts at all when you feel the first symptoms of the attack coming on the " impending doom" If you could just manage to say a command of " STOP and dismiss immediately as harmless anxiety and deep breathe. What were you thinking about before bed ? Do you see triggers ? It getting worse, could that be Perimenopause ? Have you tried other antidepressants ? I personally believe at the root of many, if not most Panic Disorders there is a death anxiety. Being chronically ill is murder on the Psych. I know that when I had Surgical Biopsies ( 3 , all Benign) the waiting for Pathology Results to come back Damned near killed me. Why? Because we Anxiety sufferers are conditioned to always go to the worst case scenario. You have had/ are having a really tough go of it but please try to remain as positive as possible. What do you do for fun ? Do you have hobbies? I paint ( I am an artist) the focus involved in any type of art is very therapeutic. You tend to empty your mind of any thoughts except your Art. Choice of colors, subject matter all are excellent ways of releasing emotion ( you could be the next Van Gogh( a highly depressed individual ) 28 years is a long time and as I mentioned mine is 29 years ( trust me I am not trying to one up you lol ) I remember you said your anxiety started at 12 ? Do you know what the trigger was ? You know regardless of what anyone says physical health problems are relentless in their continual battering of our thoughts, very hard not to get depressed. But I know, because of our commonality in long standing anxiety that You have it in you stand right back up again, no matter how many times this " attempts" to knock you down. Let's try to figure out something that brings YOU happiness and give this Panic a time out. Let's work on putting that to bed. Do not get discouraged !!! Feel Better. PM Me if you want I would really like to get to know you better !

Hi Judie thx for your kind reply it made me cry! I think my anxiety,panic attacks,social phobia ect is getting worse due to my menopause? The one thing that I dont understand is that I had a radical hysterectomy when I was 27yrs old (cancer) and went straight into menopause back then and it was a living hell for many yrs. Now I find myself in the same situation again? My doctor put me on hrt (prognova) and it's making me feel worse. My hormones are raging all over the place! One minute Im happy then I'm crying like a baby,cant sleep,cant eat,dont want to talk to anyone and feel very confused all the time. To make matters worse Im waiting to have another 2 operations! I have a paristomal hernia around my stoma and am also waiting to have a spinal fusion due to 2 prolapsed discs which is also making my anxiety worse with worrie. I've had so many operations enough to last me a life time. I've had a hysterectomy,ophrectomy then I lost my bowel then had a bi lateral mastectomy (cancer) had a heart attack on the operating table so they couldn't reconstruct where my breasts were removed, I woke up in the coronary care unit contracted golden staph in my chest wounds and spent 12mths in hospital on iv antibiotics. Then I lost my gallbladder and then had my first parastomal hernia repair. I honestly dont think Im going to get past these operations coming up:( Im tired and have had enough. The only people that keep me going is my 26yr old daughter and my 7yr old Grandaughter Tahlia. If they weren't in my life I wouldn't be here anymore. I dont have any hobbies anymore because nothing excites me anymore, I have no intrest in anything at this point in my life. I'm just fed up :( sorry for rambling) just need to vent!! Anyway again thx for your kind reply and hope your well and anxiety free!! (Hugs) xx

[scared44]

Hi Judie thx for your kind reply it made me cry! I think my anxiety,panic attacks,social phobia ect is getting worse due to my menopause? The one thing that I dont understand is that I had a radical hysterectomy when I was 27yrs old (cancer) and went straight into menopause back then and it was a living hell for many yrs. Now I find myself in the same situation again? My doctor put me on hrt (prognova) and it's making me feel worse. My hormones are raging all over the place! One minute Im happy then I'm crying like a baby,cant sleep,cant eat,dont want to talk to anyone and feel very confused all the time. To make matters worse Im waiting to have another 2 operations! I have a paristomal hernia around my stoma and am also waiting to have a spinal fusion due to 2 prolapsed discs which is also making my anxiety worse with worrie. I've had so many operations enough to last me a life time. I've had a hysterectomy,ophrectomy then I lost my bowel then had a bi lateral mastectomy (cancer) had a heart attack on the operating table so they couldn't reconstruct where my breasts were removed, I woke up in the coronary care unit contracted golden staph in my chest wounds and spent 12mths in hospital on iv antibiotics. Then I lost my gallbladder and then had my first parastomal hernia repair. I honestly dont think Im going to get past these operations coming up:( Im tired and have had enough. The only people that keep me going is my 26yr old daughter and my 7yr old Grandaughter Tahlia. If they weren't in my life I wouldn't be here anymore. I dont have any hobbies anymore because nothing excites me anymore, I have no intrest in anything at this point in my life. I'm just fed up :( sorry for rambling) just need to vent!! Anyway again thx for your kind reply and hope your well and anxiety free!! (Hugs) xx

P.S. I really dont know what triggers my attacks because there is to much going on in my life to pin point what sets me off!

[scared44]

P.S. I really dont know what triggers my attacks because there is to much going on in my life to pin point what sets me off!

Also my first panic attack when I was 12yrs old was due to my abusive Father and to this day he still is! He's definately a trigger now I think about it. Also sexual abuse and rape.

[locksey]

Also my first panic attack when I was 12yrs old was due to my abusive Father and to this day he still is! He's definately a trigger now I think about it. Also sexual abuse and rape.

Yeah , my first attack was around 11/12yrs old ... Not that I knew that is was panic at the time , not till I'd had a few more and my mom took me the dctrs...

[scared44]

Yeah , my first attack was around 11/12yrs old ... Not that I knew that is was panic at the time , not till I'd had a few more and my mom took me the dctrs...

Hi Locksey how are you hope all is well. Thankyou for your kind message :) it's nice to know other ppl care. So your first attack was at a young age also. How old are you now if you dont mind me asking? Akso where are you from? I'm from Melbourne Australia but was born in the U.K. and came out here when I was 18mths old. Anyway again thx for your reply:) and hope your feeling well. (Hugs) xx

[locksey]

Hi Locksey how are you hope all is well. Thankyou for your kind message :) it's nice to know other ppl care. So your first attack was at a young age also. How old are you now if you dont mind me asking? Akso where are you from? I'm from Melbourne Australia but was born in the U.K. and came out here when I was 18mths old. Anyway again thx for your reply:) and hope your feeling well. (Hugs) xx

Hi.. I live in Birmingham England ... I'm 38

[Judie]

Also my first panic attack when I was 12yrs old was due to my abusive Father and to this day he still is! He's definately a trigger now I think about it. Also sexual abuse and rape.

Scared44, that is just so horrible. That abuse from your father was not only your trigger but is the " gasoline" on the attacks. God if things weren't bad enough without him:( I am so sorry. You know when you say you couldn't go on without your daughter and granddaughter, that is the very reason there is a daughter and granddaughter, to keep you going. My religius views are Christianity but as I grow older I embrace spirituality in general. Watching many things unfold and the lessons we are meant to learn. I can't help feeling those individuals that endure so much suffering ( like yourself ) are on a higher plane more evolved, are the chosen ones if you will. Chosen to be the ones that will teach others, I see the encouragement you offer others.Perhaps getting your wings here on earth ? :) Before all these crazy hormones and depression, what did you do for fun ? Did you have any break between all these operations, where you could enjoy life . Your granddaughter 7, that's an amazing age. When and what is your next operation ? Hang in there my friend. You can do this. Try to release your father out of your head, he has no business being there. Your head is meant for welcomed guests like your daughter and granddaughter. Hoping you have a Positive Day, focus on that seven year old ! XO

[scared44]

Scared44, that is just so horrible. That abuse from your father was not only your trigger but is the " gasoline" on the attacks. God if things weren't bad enough without him:( I am so sorry. You know when you say you couldn't go on without your daughter and granddaughter, that is the very reason there is a daughter and granddaughter, to keep you going. My religius views are Christianity but as I grow older I embrace spirituality in general. Watching many things unfold and the lessons we are meant to learn. I can't help feeling those individuals that endure so much suffering ( like yourself ) are on a higher plane more evolved, are the chosen ones if you will. Chosen to be the ones that will teach others, I see the encouragement you offer others.Perhaps getting your wings here on earth ? :) Before all these crazy hormones and depression, what did you do for fun ? Did you have any break between all these operations, where you could enjoy life . Your granddaughter 7, that's an amazing age. When and what is your next operation ? Hang in there my friend. You can do this. Try to release your father out of your head, he has no business being there. Your head is meant for welcomed guests like your daughter and granddaughter. Hoping you have a Positive Day, focus on that seven year old ! XO

Hi Judie how are you well I hope? I went to see my Doctor today and I fell apart when I saw her,couldn't stop crying. Anyway she's started me on estrogen patches for my perimenopause and on Friday Im going to have a testosterone injection to see if it levels me out! She also took me off ativan (didn't work) and has put me on xanax for my panic and anxiety so hopefully it works for me. Then this Friday she's going to do a care plan for me to have CBT!! Today I just feel so mentally and physically flat :( I'm getting sick to death fighting this debilitating disorder. And I need some sleep but when I try I just lay there with mind racing thoughts. I want this to STOP I'VE HAD ENOUGH!! Again thankyou and hope to keep in touch! Take Care. Beverley :) xx

[Judie]

[QUOTE=scared44;98159]Hi Judie how are you well I hope? I went to see my Doctor today and I fell apart when I saw her,couldn't stop crying. Anyway she's started me on estrogen patches for my perimenopause and on Friday Im going to have a testosterone injection to see if it levels me out! She also took me off ativan (didn't work) and has put me on xanax for my panic and anxiety so hopefully it works for me. Then this Friday she's going to do a care plan for me to have CBT!! Today I just feel so mentally and physically flat :( I'm getting sick to death fighting this debilitating disorder. And I need some sleep but when I try I just lay there with mind racing thoughts. I want this to STOP I'VE HAD ENOUGH!! Again thank you and hope to keep in touch! Take Care. Beverley :) xx[/QUOTE

Hi Beverly, I think the Xanax will help a lot. They have proven it to me more effective against panic then Ativan. Wow, at least you're crying, that's a good sign. I get more concerned when people start repressing their feelings and pushing them down. Crying is good, it releases endorphins ( the natural feel good chemicals in our brains ) People with anxiety tend to be the ones that always keep up the appearances that everything is good , that they can handle everything and they don't cry. You don't have to always wear that " perfect mask". It's ok to feel lousy and it's REALLY OK to let others know you feel lousy. When you know and accept you are down, you tend to work at feeling better by being kinder to yourself, doing the things and being around the people that make you feel better. These are all helpful things to do, if you don't accept that you are feeling lousy and voice that, you won't make the steps you need to( like crying to the DR ) to feel better. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will feel better soon ! X angels on earth have lousy days or weeks too :) Thinking of you

[scared44]

I cant win no matter what I try!! I'm about to explode and give up. Enoughs enough :(

[locksey]

I cant win no matter what I try!! I'm about to explode and give up. Enoughs enough :(

Sry yr not feelin gd .... :-(
Such a shame that a lot ov us are so many miles away frm each other