Newest of the new

[recoveringeccentric]

Hi, my name is Andrew, and this is my first time talking about something like this publicly. A few people know I suffer from social anxiety, but most people don't understand me at all. You would never know I'm socially awkward; I deal with people with relative ease for the most part. But in certain situations, I'm the most socially inept person you'll ever meet. I have had to drop my Spanish class twice in college because of the fear of being called on. The classroom exacerbates my fear and takes me to a place where I can't breathe and my heart races to about 90 beats a minutes. That is quite higher than my normal 55. There are also times where I don't even want to think about talking to another person.........at all. Why? This is the question i want answered. This is probably not the best place to ask it, but I had to vent for once in my life. Mental issues have always ran rampant in my family; my uncle and grandpa committed suicide. There are times I feel like I am following there beaten path. There are also times where I am taking the road less traveled. I just wish i could feel relaxed at times when I know I should be. I get over anxious worrying about my girlfriend, especially if i don't hear from her within five minutes of when she is supposed to call. Very stupid, but I don't know how to stop it. I want to more than anything.....I just hope everyone doesn't think I am totally disheveled and some can even understand where I am coming from. If anyone has any advice, I'd be glad to hear it. I'd also be glad to comment more if someone was willing to hear it.

Take care all...

[imported_admin]

If your grandparents suffered from mental issues, there is a good chance this could have been passed down to you genetically.. But thankfully now more is understood about these kind of problems, as apposed to your grandparent's era. My best advice is to go see a doctor, esp if you are having suicidal thoughts. This is 2007, you don't have to live that way anymore. There are many options for people like us now.

[looloo]

this may surprise you, but the fear of being called on might lessen with age. i myself up through college was frozen when called on, to the point i was rude about it. people must have thought me insane.
now, 15 yrs later, it does not terrify me. i have become more ok with all aspects of myself, even if i am no smarter. i happen just to have more experiences. i still suffer from depression and anxiety, but its more circumstantial than organic.
the good part of falling off cliffs is if you get up and inch forward, make your peace.
donny osmond had social phobia--i think he was told he feared not doing things perfectly. he was told by his dr. to do things badly--the world would not stop if he was humiliated by being mediocre.
as for your girlfriend issues--i would guess there are problems with parental issues...but your therapist would know more about that.