I struggle with Depression and Anxiety but I need to find a job...

[Kmfdm]

Hello everyone.

I have put off getting a job for quite a while basically due to just being too scared to take the plunge for fear of failing or just being a constant bundle of nerves.

Every time I look at job descriptions there is are always one or two aspects to the job that I always convince myself I won't be able to do. Just the act of looking for jobs is making me very anxious. I have little to no self-confidence and seriously doubt I could do any job to the standard required.

Last year I managed to pass an interview and got the job of a sales assistant in a computer game shop. Before the official job started I was required to do training. I thought I would be properly trained but instead they just put me into another store across the city and put me straight onto the till without much instruction. After a few days I just gave up because I was so anxious I couldn't sleep at night.

I'm sure some of you guys can relate to this on here and was wondering if you could offer and advice or help suggestions.

I have decided I am not going to do a job in retail as it just isn't me. I'm looking for jobs with little to no social interaction at the moment. The thing is I have a degree and people keep telling me I should be aiming higher (I don't subscribe to this view, I would much rather be be content).

Thank you for reading.

[Judie]

Hello everyone.

I have put off getting a job for quite a while basically due to just being too scared to take the plunge for fear of failing or just being a constant bundle of nerves.

Every time I look at job descriptions there is are always one or two aspects to the job that I always convince myself I won't be able to do. Just the act of looking for jobs is making me very anxious. I have little to no self-confidence and seriously doubt I could do any job to the standard required.

Last year I managed to pass an interview and got the job of a sales assistant in a computer game shop. Before the official job started I was required to do training. I thought I would be properly trained but instead they just put me into another store across the city and put me straight onto the till without much instruction. After a few days I just gave up because I was so anxious I couldn't sleep at night.

I'm sure some of you guys can relate to this on here and was wondering if you could offer and advice or help suggestions.

I have decided I am not going to do a job in retail as it just isn't me. I'm looking for jobs with little to no social interaction at the moment. The thing is I have a degree and people keep telling me I should be aiming higher (I don't subscribe to this view, I would much rather be be content).

Thank you for reading.
Hi Kmfdm, Welcome, first let's address the fact that your Anxiety is most probably a result of low self esteem( just one of the many catalysts behind anxiety/depression). You are obviously well written with a clear understanding and command of the English Language, reflecting education and intelligence. Unfortunately along the way someone or something has robbed you of self confidence. Your desire " not" to work at a job with social interaction may be a reflection of a social phobia or a just plain introverted personality. Ok let's take a look at a couple of things first the job you had as an Assistant in the Computer Game Room that you " gave up " because you were a nervous wreck? You were a nervous wreck because of the low self esteem mindset " I can't do this" I haven't been trained" on and on with negative thoughts because this is how you have been " conditioned" to think. The " fact" is you were more then qualified for that job and if you were failing in any aspect it was because you hadn't been properly trained ( trust me the company was aware and because the company was saving a dime, understaffed etc., they were practicing a sink or swim mentality for their employees, certainly not ground for termination. You my friend are your own worst enemy. I know this mindset well, this is my mindset and so many anxiety sufferer's mindset. Now it is fine " if" you choose a job beneath you but keep in mind that is again your mindset at work " I can't fall if I am already at he bottom ". This is the classic " underachiever" , others believe in you, you just don't believe in yourself. Building self esteem is a tough one, I think therapy/ perhaps an antidepressant will help. Above all else change that mindset , take that right turn from Negative to Positive ( no not focus on the help wanted ad that has " some" things you feel you can't do, instead focus on the things in that ad that you can do) Employment Ads are written and designed to be " more involved " then they actually are, because after all they want self confident applicants ( which you will soon be ).Most jobs will retrain, it's just the way it's done.Do not short change yourself, you are more then qualified. You need to think of your anxiety in the same regard as your low self esteem. I will stand up to the anxiety with positive thought, support and coping strategies. I will learn that my mindset is feeding my anxiety and low self esteem. In time you will understand just how powerful the human mind is. Your negative thoughts are the seeds of anxiety and that anxiety and low self esteem will continue to grow until the weeds of that Negative Thought have taken over the Garden of your health and well being. Sounds ominous but the reality is the Garden needs to be turned over from Negative to Positive. No more negative, can't s become cans, I can't deal with this becomes I can and am dealing with this, " I am dying" becomes " these are meaningless symptoms" Anxiety needs me ( my thoughts) to survive, without me there is no anxiety- separate from it, close the door on any and all thoughts of anxiety. Be Well, lots of support and knowledge on this Forum and God knows they must have taught you " knowledge empowers" in school. :)

[missmello]

You sound a little like my husband lol. I can relate myself though too because I'm going through an anxious period right now while looking for a job, but its the job search itself that's giving me anxiety. I've applied to so many places and I'm trying so hard but no one is calling me. Very frustrating.

Anyway, you need to gain a little more confidence and have faith in yourself. First of all, you have a degree which is a great accomplishment in itself. Be proud of yourself, you must have had to do a lot of work and had some struggles while going through school. If you could do that, then you most certainly can achieve anything you set your mind to. It's all about the mind!

Don't be afraid, whats the worst thing that could happen? The world will not end if you make a mistake or take a long time to do something when you're starting a new job. If you make a mistake, so what! No one expects you to be perfect.

I remember when I first started at a restaurant I had to learn the computer system and how to input orders into the computer, I was only trained once and the next day I was left to fend for myself. I was so afraid i was going to mess up. But hey, they only trained me once, they couldn't expect me to be perfect! So I asked for help when I needed it and guess what, I made it out alive! lol

Don't be so hard on yourself! Give it some time at any job you start at, it will be difficult at first but you'll eventually get the hang of it.