Do I have an anxiety disorder?

[soph]

Hi, my name is Sophie and I am an 18 year old girl who has always been shy and introverted. However, lately I've experienced an array of symptoms which I'd never had before and they are starting to intervene with my everyday life. I want to list down some of the things that I've been experiencing lately to see if anyone would be able to tell me IF I have any type of anxiety disorder, so I can take the proper steps in dealing with it. Here are a few:

- I've become increasingly irritable, especially around my parents, both of whom are very supportive and loving and towards whom I don't really have any negative feelings.
- My moods tend to shift a lot depending on a single variable, even if it is the smallest thing. Ex. if I send my friend a picture of something I'm eating (which we all do with each other as we're all food lovers) and she's like "that looks gross" or anything remotely negative, I'll start over thinking and it could potentially ruin my day. And while I am aware that that's completely RIDICULOUS I can't stop letting it get to me!
- This also leads to me feeling like a victim or irritated by the smallest of things.
- If, let's say a friend (this happens most with my 'best friend'), doesn't answer a text I wrote or writes back anything even remotely dry I start worrying about if I said something wrong to lead her to be mad, if I did something to her, etc and I never think that it could be something wrong with them, I ALWAYS blame myself.
- I'm pretty self aware in social situations, and at times I feel like everyone is scrutinizing me and picking out my flaws. Ex. if I walk up to the teacher's desk in front of class I fel like everybody is staring at me (probably a low self esteem problem. Sometimes I like myself and sometimes I don't).
- I overanalyze situations all the time.
- I get paranoid over things that probably won't happen, and even if they don't happen, if I'm put in that situation again I always think that this time it's going to happen.
- I have a fear of failure/rejection.
- I worry that if I go to the doctor and have my blood drawn, I'll have some terrible terminal disease.
- If I am in an uncomfortable situation or something is making me extremely nervous, I'll start shaking a bit.
- This is a bit difficult to explain, so bear with me. I am functional in social settings, I do have friends, and I can talk to new people to a certain extent without any issues. However, I am very introverted when it comes to dealing with people/things that are out of my comfort zone, so I don't really go out very much to parties. This leads me to not have much exposure to alcohol and drugs and while I don't have any interest in those things, I am not the type to think or say ALCOHOL AND DRUGS ARE THE DEVIL. However, recently, my friends wanted to smoke marijuana for one of their birthdays and they did. Even my best friend who claimed it was "stupid and pointless" and onwards. The whole day I could not stop thinking about what had happened and it was so consuming to be thinking about it all day. That night, I had difficulty going to sleep and I kept waking up in the middle of the night confused and sweaty and thinking about what happened. This always happens when my friends do something without me that I wouldn't partake in. I guess it all stems from an irrational fear that they're all going to get too into whatever they're doing, find that I don't satisfy their needs anymore, think I'm stupid and I won't have any friends. I feel like even my friends are judging me. I HAAATE this and it makes me feel psychotic but when it happens I can't stop thinking about it! I know it's their life, not mine, and it doesn't affect ME, but my brain seems to think otherwise.

Whew, that was a lot to write. There's more but I think those are the main things that have been affecting me. If anyone could help tell me what I have, if anything, or lend some words of advice I would be immensely grateful. Also, pleaseeee be kind, this is me exposing my inner feelings in a way that I haven't really expressed to anyone else. Thank you all!!

[Enduronman]

I read your story and when I was approaching the end, I had thought about just typing "Yup, you do! Goodluck!" I was going to follow up again, after you had replied with a "Well, is that it? Thanks alot!" comment..but, that sudden impulse to be mischevious on my part was instantly shut off by your last paragraph. Why would I even state here, what my initial plan or intention even was? Because you directed the responses to be kind and polite. You imposed a "rule of engagement" that is to be followed. You do this everywhere, everyday, yet no one else pays any attention to it because they don't see the potential effect that their failure to comply, will have on you. You place demands on people, yet they don't even know that you have. You have expectations of people, that they don't even know that you have. You wish for everyone to act, behave, and treat everyone else, like you do. You don't make others around you feel unappreciated, disrespected, or unimportant. You don't make any error in that regard but you don't even have to try not to make any errors in that regard. It comes naturally to you. You're easily frustrated by the actions of others, because their actions are not what you consider to be appropriate, kind, good, or fair, to you. You're hyper aware. Overly sensitive. Extremely perseptive. Very intelligent. You can see things, that other people can not. Even if its right in front of their faces. You have a rule book that no one can see or read. You have an instruction manual that only you can find. People continually break rules and regulations with you, yet you're the only one that knows them or even understands and comprehends them.

Should I keep typing?

It is a form of anxiety. It is not the type of anxiety that many other people experience. It has a different presentation.

I know this type. It is the type of anxiety that I have carried for a very long time. The only difference is in the things that you fear department. I don't fear the same.

All of my kids have this too..genetics.

Great meeting you Soph!

E-Man..:)

[krayziee]

I read your story and when I was approaching the end, I had thought about just typing "Yup, you do! Goodluck!" I was going to follow up again, after you had replied with a "Well, is that it? Thanks alot!" comment..but, that sudden impulse to be mischevious on my part was instantly shut off by your last paragraph. Why would I even state here, what my initial plan or intention even was? Because you directed the responses to be kind and polite. You imposed a "rule of engagement" that is to be followed. You do this everywhere, everyday, yet no one else pays any attention to it because they don't see the potential effect that their failure to comply, will have on you. You place demands on people, yet they don't even know that you have. You have expectations of people, that they don't even know that you have. You wish for everyone to act, behave, and treat everyone else, like you do. You don't make others around you feel unappreciated, disrespected, or unimportant. You don't make any error in that regard but you don't even have to try not to make any errors in that regard. It comes naturally to you. You're easily frustrated by the actions of others, because their actions are not what you consider to be appropriate, kind, good, or fair, to you. You're hyper aware. Overly sensitive. Extremely perseptive. Very intelligent. You can see things, that other people can not. Even if its right in front of their faces. You have a rule book that no one can see or read. You have an instruction manual that only you can find. People continually break rules and regulations with you, yet you're the only one that knows them or even understands and comprehends them.

Should I keep typing?

It is a form of anxiety. It is not the type of anxiety that many other people experience. It has a different presentation.

I know this type. It is the type of anxiety that I have carried for a very long time. The only difference is in the things that you fear department. I don't fear the same.

All of my kids have this too..genetics.

Great meeting you Soph!

E-Man..:)

I really think this is one of the best replies i read so far.

Being highly sensitive can be hard. You really need to balance your energy alot, take alone time, gain some trust back in yourself.

When i read your topic Sophie i kind of saw myself but my anxiety is like you not fixated on this. I have a health anxiety which has the upper hand over my other fears. I also see a Girl with low self-esteem which is very common in high sensitive people because i have and had these problems too.

[soph]

I read your story and when I was approaching the end, I had thought about just typing "Yup, you do! Goodluck!" I was going to follow up again, after you had replied with a "Well, is that it? Thanks alot!" comment..but, that sudden impulse to be mischevious on my part was instantly shut off by your last paragraph. Why would I even state here, what my initial plan or intention even was? Because you directed the responses to be kind and polite. You imposed a "rule of engagement" that is to be followed. You do this everywhere, everyday, yet no one else pays any attention to it because they don't see the potential effect that their failure to comply, will have on you. You place demands on people, yet they don't even know that you have. You have expectations of people, that they don't even know that you have. You wish for everyone to act, behave, and treat everyone else, like you do. You don't make others around you feel unappreciated, disrespected, or unimportant. You don't make any error in that regard but you don't even have to try not to make any errors in that regard. It comes naturally to you. You're easily frustrated by the actions of others, because their actions are not what you consider to be appropriate, kind, good, or fair, to you. You're hyper aware. Overly sensitive. Extremely perseptive. Very intelligent. You can see things, that other people can not. Even if its right in front of their faces. You have a rule book that no one can see or read. You have an instruction manual that only you can find. People continually break rules and regulations with you, yet you're the only one that knows them or even understands and comprehends them.

Should I keep typing?

It is a form of anxiety. It is not the type of anxiety that many other people experience. It has a different presentation.

I know this type. It is the type of anxiety that I have carried for a very long time. The only difference is in the things that you fear department. I don't fear the same.

All of my kids have this too..genetics.

Great meeting you Soph!

E-Man..:)

Thank you for such a well articulated response! So many of the things you stated are true, yet I never would have thought to put them into words. I'm VERY sensitive, extremely aware of my surroundings, and very perceptive as well. Now that I can more clearly see what's wrong I guess it'll be a bit easier to try and work on it. Nice meeting you and thanks again!

[soph]

I really think this is one of the best replies i read so far.

Being highly sensitive can be hard. You really need to balance your energy alot, take alone time, gain some trust back in yourself.

When i read your topic Sophie i kind of saw myself but my anxiety is like you not fixated on this. I have a health anxiety which has the upper hand over my other fears. I also see a Girl with low self-esteem which is very common in high sensitive people because i have and had these problems too.

As far as taking alone time goes, I always need periods of time to be by myself.. my body just kind of asks for it. I think I need to work up my self esteem and try not to be so easily upset by the smallest things! Thanks for replying!

[shellsjack]

Hi, my name is Sophie and I am an 18 year old girl who has always been shy and introverted. However, lately I've experienced an array of symptoms which I'd never had before and they are starting to intervene with my everyday life. I want to list down some of the things that I've been experiencing lately to see if anyone would be able to tell me IF I have any type of anxiety disorder, so I can take the proper steps in dealing with it. Here are a few:

- I've become increasingly irritable, especially around my parents, both of whom are very supportive and loving and towards whom I don't really have any negative feelings.
- My moods tend to shift a lot depending on a single variable, even if it is the smallest thing. Ex. if I send my friend a picture of something I'm eating (which we all do with each other as we're all food lovers) and she's like "that looks gross" or anything remotely negative, I'll start over thinking and it could potentially ruin my day. And while I am aware that that's completely RIDICULOUS I can't stop letting it get to me!
- This also leads to me feeling like a victim or irritated by the smallest of things.
- If, let's say a friend (this happens most with my 'best friend'), doesn't answer a text I wrote or writes back anything even remotely dry I start worrying about if I said something wrong to lead her to be mad, if I did something to her, etc and I never think that it could be something wrong with them, I ALWAYS blame myself.
- I'm pretty self aware in social situations, and at times I feel like everyone is scrutinizing me and picking out my flaws. Ex. if I walk up to the teacher's desk in front of class I fel like everybody is staring at me (probably a low self esteem problem. Sometimes I like myself and sometimes I don't).
- I overanalyze situations all the time.
- I get paranoid over things that probably won't happen, and even if they don't happen, if I'm put in that situation again I always think that this time it's going to happen.
- I have a fear of failure/rejection.
- I worry that if I go to the doctor and have my blood drawn, I'll have some terrible terminal disease.
- If I am in an uncomfortable situation or something is making me extremely nervous, I'll start shaking a bit.
- This is a bit difficult to explain, so bear with me. I am functional in social settings, I do have friends, and I can talk to new people to a certain extent without any issues. However, I am very introverted when it comes to dealing with people/things that are out of my comfort zone, so I don't really go out very much to parties. This leads me to not have much exposure to alcohol and drugs and while I don't have any interest in those things, I am not the type to think or say ALCOHOL AND DRUGS ARE THE DEVIL. However, recently, my friends wanted to smoke marijuana for one of their birthdays and they did. Even my best friend who claimed it was "stupid and pointless" and onwards. The whole day I could not stop thinking about what had happened and it was so consuming to be thinking about it all day. That night, I had difficulty going to sleep and I kept waking up in the middle of the night confused and sweaty and thinking about what happened. This always happens when my friends do something without me that I wouldn't partake in. I guess it all stems from an irrational fear that they're all going to get too into whatever they're doing, find that I don't satisfy their needs anymore, think I'm stupid and I won't have any friends. I feel like even my friends are judging me. I HAAATE this and it makes me feel psychotic but when it happens I can't stop thinking about it! I know it's their life, not mine, and it doesn't affect ME, but my brain seems to think otherwise.

Whew, that was a lot to write. There's more but I think those are the main things that have been affecting me. If anyone could help tell me what I have, if anything, or lend some words of advice I would be immensely grateful. Also, pleaseeee be kind, this is me exposing my inner feelings in a way that I haven't really expressed to anyone else. Thank you all!!

Oh my gosh... I could swear you're quoting my life. Honestly, that is every detail if how I live. And the person who said we have expectations and rule books is so spot on!!! I have a physical tomorrow with my primary physician and I'm already a wreck. I just KNOW they are going to find something this time! Wow. Ty for posting your story. We could be twins! Except I haven't been 18 for 21 years!!! But I was like this in high school too. So afraid I'd make someone mad and a friend would be pissed and make my other friends no talk to me. I'm still the same way with friends with texts. I have a close circle of amazing friends but keep others at a distance until I trust them ( although I never fully do because they must have a hidden agenda). J have an amazing husband who doesn't woot about anything unless there's a reason. So jealous! I over analyze everything AND read people's minds all the time. I also see what's right in front of others. I'm very very aware of my surroundings and can see right thru people!! <3. Ty for your story.