Had Enough!!

[scared44]

I'm at the point in my life where I feel like I just exist and breathe because I don't have a life anymore :-( Ive been suffering for 28yrs now with gad, panic attacks, depression food phobia and social phobia (enough)! I have no friends because people just don't understand and my so called Family are complete arseholes about it all. So I have nobody I'm on my own all the time I never get invited to family functions ect? It kills me inside that people can be so very cruel about mental health issues? Also over the last 20yrs I've had multiple operations I've had a full hysterectomy at 27yrs then 10yrs later I lost my bowel and have an (ileostomy bag for life) then 4yrs later I lost both breasts and when I was on the operating table I had a heart attack and ended up in coronary care and contracted golden staphylococcus which took me 12mths to fully recover then I lost my gallbladder and more! Now I'm waiting on having spinal surgery as i have 2prolapsed discs... And on top of all that I've had to deal with all the anxiety ect and I'm tired of it all fighting panic everyday and being sooo very lonley. Some day's lately i just want to go to sleep and not wake up as i don't feel worthy being on this earth anymore. All I can say is I must be a bad person to be treated the way I am more so by my so called Father!! Thx for letting me vent :-(

[scared44]

I'm at the point in my life where I feel like I just exist and breathe because I don't have a life anymore :-( Ive been suffering for 28yrs now with gad, panic attacks, depression food phobia and social phobia (enough)! I have no friends because people just don't understand and my so called Family are complete arseholes about it all. So I have nobody I'm on my own all the time I never get invited to family functions ect? It kills me inside that people can be so very cruel about mental health issues? Also over the last 20yrs I've had multiple operations I've had a full hysterectomy at 27yrs then 10yrs later I lost my bowel and have an (ileostomy bag for life) then 4yrs later I lost both breasts and when I was on the operating table I had a heart attack and ended up in coronary care and contracted golden staphylococcus which took me 12mths to fully recover then I lost my gallbladder and more! Now I'm waiting on having spinal surgery as i have 2prolapsed discs... And on top of all that I've had to deal with all the anxiety ect and I'm tired of it all fighting panic everyday and being sooo very lonley. Some day's lately i just want to go to sleep and not wake up as i don't feel worthy being on this earth anymore. All I can say is I must be a bad person to be treated the way I am more so by my so called Father!! Thx for letting me vent :-(

Im also on Avanza, valium, ativan for my anxiety ect and am also on oxycodone and fentanyl patches for my back pain!

[NixonRulz]

Anyone that has health anxiety should read this.

You are someone that probably has a reason to have anxiety issues

You have been through so much. More than anyone should have to

I read your story and I don't feel sad about you being a victim of all these things

I read this and I feel honored to be fortunate enough to know the ultimate survivor

With all the issues you have/had, you still come here giving us with many less troubles a positive response

Don't ever speak of giving up

This world , and this forum in particular, need people like you.

Great things are about to be all around you

It's time to let it happen

[M.C]

OMG!!! You ve gone through a lot and you still carry on you must be a super strong lady and you should be proud of yourself
I had an operation on my lung which was the trigger of the anxiety and whole experience broke me to pieces I m extremely depressed and anxious as I m getting pins and needles everywhere
But after reading your thread and the amount of pain you gone through but you still standing up on your feet
I feel so ashamed of my self I m complaining most of the time when there re people out there who are worse then me
I do feel the same that I must be a bad person for all this to happen to me as if god is punishing me

[shaikhrahuf]

Really a bow for u scared.. ur r so strong, suffering so much and getting up and posting is a strong attitude..
Feeling so bad abt ur family nt supporting, am so much honored reading ur post also read it loud in front of my frnds.. big applause buddy.. u juz nailed it in my heart.. a big motivation to me..

[scared44]

Hi, Thankyou for your kind replies they made me cry:-( knowing there are people that understand what I'm going through is wonderful! I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me because in my eyes there are people that are much worse off than I am. It's just nice to know that I'm not alone and I can come on here and get support ect!! Again Thankyou! xx

[scared44]

OMG!!! You ve gone through a lot and you still carry on you must be a super strong lady and you should be proud of yourself
I had an operation on my lung which was the trigger of the anxiety and whole experience broke me to pieces I m extremely depressed and anxious as I m getting pins and needles everywhere
But after reading your thread and the amount of pain you gone through but you still standing up on your feet
I feel so ashamed of my self I m complaining most of the time when there re people out there who are worse then me
I do feel the same that I must be a bad person for all this to happen to me as if god is punishing me

Please dont feel ashamed by the way you feel! You have every right to feel the way you do. Take Care xx

[scared44]

Really a bow for u scared.. ur r so strong, suffering so much and getting up and posting is a strong attitude..
Feeling so bad abt ur family nt supporting, am so much honored reading ur post also read it loud in front of my frnds.. big applause buddy.. u juz nailed it in my heart.. a big motivation to me..

Thankyou :-) xx

[scared44]

Anyone that has health anxiety should read this.

You are someone that probably has a reason to have anxiety issues

You have been through so much. More than anyone should have to

I read your story and I don't feel sad about you being a victim of all these things

I read this and I feel honored to be fortunate enough to know the ultimate survivor

With all the issues you have/had, you still come here giving us with many less troubles a positive response

Don't ever speak of giving up

This world , and this forum in particular, need people like you.

Great things are about to be all around you

It's time to let it happen

Thankyou :-) xx

[scared44]

Feeling so down today all I want to do is lay down and sleep so I dont have to think anymore! My mind just wont shut down atm?? :-( Hope everyone is having a good day!! xx

[scared44]

Feeling so down today all I want to do is lay down and sleep so I dont have to think anymore! My mind just wont shut down atm?? :-( Hope everyone is having a good day!! xx

Well I tried to have an afternoon nap and as soon as I layed down I went straight into a panic attack? It just never ends? :-\

[rhar]

So sorry to hear Beverley. You have had to deal with this buggar for so long.

Are you seeing anyone to chat to?

Hope you're feeling a bit better now??!!

[M.C]

My therapist always encourages me to do things like walking reading a book go out with friends etc but not to sleep all the time
Because it doesn't help at all
After the surgery and the infection all I did is lying in the bed day and night then my body started hurting because I had no energy
Then when I started CBT I started doing things including going back to work
Before I couldn't give my kids a bath but now I can do that and more

[scared44]

So sorry to hear Beverley. You have had to deal with this buggar for so long.

Are you seeing anyone to chat to?

Hope you're feeling a bit better now??!!

Hi Rahr Im starting CBT on Friday so hopefully everything will start to improve for me! How are you hope your well? Take Care.... :-) xx

[scared44]

My therapist always encourages me to do things like walking reading a book go out with friends etc but not to sleep all the time
Because it doesn't help at all
After the surgery and the infection all I did is lying in the bed day and night then my body started hurting because I had no energy
Then when I started CBT I started doing things including going back to work
Before I couldn't give my kids a bath but now I can do that and more

Hi MC thx for your reply! It's not very often I have a sleep during the day as it's not good for you but when your so mentally exhausted sometimes you need a bit if time out! Hope your doing well? :-)

[M.C]

I m fine I have my ups and DOWNs

But I think you re an inspiration for me and for the others
Plz keep on fighting and never give up
Take good care of your self!

[shaikhrahuf]

Feeling so down today all I want to do is lay down and sleep so I dont have to think anymore! My mind just wont shut down atm?? :-( Hope everyone is having a good day!! xx

Scared..

Avoid taking afternoon naps.. try some relaxation exercise download some mp3 or on youtube plug in ur headffone n listen to it, if u hv sleep u will fall asleep or else you will keep surfing the music of the relaxation.. try out it helps..

[Lin]

It is so easy to find sleep as an easy way out of head keeping nagging you. But although it is harder, it is better to do something else to keep head motivated, or to go out and be mindful of nature etc. If you stay in for too long it is really easy not to want to go out at all and for agrophobia to start, so best to keep going out regularly even if only for short times.
Lots of apps and websites available to get some information to read and help you and lots to do to keep your head motivated rather than just sleep.
I have got hooked on jigsaw puzzles, but unfortunately can't read because can't concentrate long enough, but can read magazines because small articles so not need so much concentration.
Also learning something like meditation is good to teach you calmness and you can do this at home just a few minutes a day concentrating on your breathing, or find a group which is really good to help learn meditation and to get out and make friends, often people there are people who have problems too.
There are also courses you can go on like cbt and mindfulness which will help you with your symptoms and also give you another opportunity to meet people.
I am starting a new peer support group where people meet to talk about their problems - see if any in your area as it will get you out, and help to talk to others suffering too.

[scared44]

Thank you again for your very kind words! Im having a better day today :-) I went out for lunch and clothes shopping very good therapy for me! Hope your all having a good day/ night... Take care xxxx

[scared44]

P. S. I start CBT on Friday looking forward to it!! :-)

[Lin]

Good luck with CBT hope you find it helps. I haven't done it but done mindfulness so ACT recommended to me instead of CBT. aCT - acceptance commitment theory - so instead change thoughts learn to accept and work with them whereas CBT is changing thoughts. Learning on my own but find concentration hard when not at work or on a course.

[scared44]

Good luck with CBT hope you find it helps. I haven't done it but done mindfulness so ACT recommended to me instead of CBT. aCT - acceptance commitment theory - so instead change thoughts learn to accept and work with them whereas CBT is changing thoughts. Learning on my own but find concentration hard when not at work or on a course.

Hi Lin thankyou! I'm really looking forward to starting cbt although a little sceptical about it. How are you going are you feeling a bit better than you were a couple of days ago. Have a great day and enjoy it:-) Take Care xx