don't you hate it when...

[hail to the thief]

you are in a group and someone confronts you as to why you are so quiet.

You are quite clearly quiet and shy, yet they still confront you in front of a group and get the whole groups attention on to you.

I mean, how do they expect you to respond to that!?!!?

[Robbed]

I think what we are running into here are the limitations of 'The Golden Rule' (or maybe not). Specifically, some people have a tendency to seek out quiet people such as yourself because they think it will be appreciated. Keep in mind that 'Social Anxiety' is more a continuum than a condition that you either have or DON'T have. And just about everybody feels awkward and gets quiet in the right situation - at least until something happens to 'break the ice'. And that's what the person in question is probably trying to do. My recommendation? As difficult as it may be, try to look at this as a positive thing. Chances are, this person is actually trying to make you feel more comfortable and not less.

Another thing to keep in mind is that extremely quiet people can be somewhat intimidating to others. Being quiet can be looked at as a sign that you don't like the people around you. And maybe this person is just trying to (1) find out if this is the case, or (2) trying to defuse any hard feelings on your part.

Of course, there is always the possibility that the person is trying to pick on you and single you out. But I'm assuming we are talking about people older than 14 here. So this is probably not the case. My recommedation? Try to react in a favorable manner.

[Fear]

you are in a group and someone confronts you as to why you are so quiet.

You are quite clearly quiet and shy, yet they still confront you in front of a group and get the whole groups attention on to you.

I mean, how do they expect you to respond to that!?!!?

[Fear]

you are in a group and someone confronts you as to why you are so quiet.

You are quite clearly quiet and shy, yet they still confront you in front of a group and get the whole groups attention on to you.

I mean, how do they expect you to respond to that!?!!?
That's exactly how I feel!It is like they have fun teasing you,you know?!Or they stare at you.Or when they see that you don't really feel like talking of yourself and instead they ask thousands of questions and then say:"Oh,well,I see you don't feel like speaking!"and you think"Oh,you finally got it,so!"

[hail to the thief]

I think what we are running into here are the limitations of 'The Golden Rule' (or maybe not). Specifically, some people have a tendency to seek out quiet people such as yourself because they think it will be appreciated. Keep in mind that 'Social Anxiety' is more a continuum than a condition that you either have or DON'T have. And just about everybody feels awkward and gets quiet in the right situation - at least until something happens to 'break the ice'. And that's what the person in question is probably trying to do. My recommendation? As difficult as it may be, try to look at this as a positive thing. Chances are, this person is actually trying to make you feel more comfortable and not less.

I'm sure this is the case. At least i very much hope it is. It's just, it's like others can't understand that you don't want to talk. And therefore they find it weird and take offence. And then it comes across as though they are putting you 'on the spot' deliberatley.




That's exactly how I feel!It is like they have fun teasing you,you know?!Or they stare at you.Or when they see that you don't really feel like talking of yourself and instead they ask thousands of questions and then say:"Oh,well,I see you don't feel like speaking!"and you think"Oh,you finally got it,so!"

yeh, it's as though talking is such an important thing, that when someone isn't they are eitehr seen as weird or rebellious towards everyone.
I don't know about anyone else, but i can actually think of people who have taken offence to my quietness. One girl in particular ignores me all the time now, even if i say hi.

[Fear]

I think what we are running into here are the limitations of 'The Golden Rule' (or maybe not). Specifically, some people have a tendency to seek out quiet people such as yourself because they think it will be appreciated. Keep in mind that 'Social Anxiety' is more a continuum than a condition that you either have or DON'T have. And just about everybody feels awkward and gets quiet in the right situation - at least until something happens to 'break the ice'. And that's what the person in question is probably trying to do. My recommendation? As difficult as it may be, try to look at this as a positive thing. Chances are, this person is actually trying to make you feel more comfortable and not less.

I'm sure this is the case. At least i very much hope it is. It's just, it's like others can't understand that you don't want to talk. And therefore they find it weird and take offence. And then it comes across as though they are putting you 'on the spot' deliberatley.




That's exactly how I feel!It is like they have fun teasing you,you know?!Or they stare at you.Or when they see that you don't really feel like talking of yourself and instead they ask thousands of questions and then say:"Oh,well,I see you don't feel like speaking!"and you think"Oh,you finally got it,so!"

yeh, it's as though talking is such an important thing, that when someone isn't they are eitehr seen as weird or rebellious towards everyone.
I don't know about anyone else, but i can actually think of people who have taken offence to my quietness. One girl in particular ignores me all the time now, even if i say hi.

YEah,people simply think that we are convinced we're better than them.THey think we are cold and we feel superior.Well,I don't know.I try to be kind.I don't greet people to be honest even if I want,coz I'm scared or I don't know.But those don't greet too!So,if we don't speak they are scared?!