Bevmo
05-13-2013, 01:25 AM
I'm going through a bout of anxiety like I've never had before. I fear I'm losing myself a little more every day. What will be left to find when I come back out this time?
There's a voice in my head, the one that get's me out of bed and encourages other useful life skills, that says don't bother asking the question, because there isn't a good answer. But the voice who asks the question seems to be my voice. She asks, "what makes us, the chronically anxious, suffer the way we do? Are we weaker than the others? Are we defective? Are we connected by some common feature? Have we given up, or are we simply searching for deeper answers than we should expect to find? Can we find the answer? Oh please, oh gawd, let there be a reason! Let there be something to gain!"
I am desperate to understand this apathy!
I tend to err on the side of philosophy when I am feeling low but not too low to give a fuck about the meaning of life. It feeds the anxiety, knowing I have to create the meaning, and not being able to. (can I?) (I can't) (I want to?) (I don't)
Hi, I'm Bev.
I thought that, this last time, I had beat anxiety for good. WOW.
But now I'm back, further back than I ever were.
Fear runs the show now.
Anyone else fear-drunk and dizzy? Reality is loosely related to my daily internal experience.
When did it change for you? In a flash of clarity? Or was it gradual, like acclimating to a new anti-depressant?
There's a voice in my head, the one that get's me out of bed and encourages other useful life skills, that says don't bother asking the question, because there isn't a good answer. But the voice who asks the question seems to be my voice. She asks, "what makes us, the chronically anxious, suffer the way we do? Are we weaker than the others? Are we defective? Are we connected by some common feature? Have we given up, or are we simply searching for deeper answers than we should expect to find? Can we find the answer? Oh please, oh gawd, let there be a reason! Let there be something to gain!"
I am desperate to understand this apathy!
I tend to err on the side of philosophy when I am feeling low but not too low to give a fuck about the meaning of life. It feeds the anxiety, knowing I have to create the meaning, and not being able to. (can I?) (I can't) (I want to?) (I don't)
Hi, I'm Bev.
I thought that, this last time, I had beat anxiety for good. WOW.
But now I'm back, further back than I ever were.
Fear runs the show now.
Anyone else fear-drunk and dizzy? Reality is loosely related to my daily internal experience.
When did it change for you? In a flash of clarity? Or was it gradual, like acclimating to a new anti-depressant?