dawn
08-05-2007, 01:47 PM
Hi, I am new on here I just kind of wanted some outside opinions - I have always been a very outgoing person, somewhat shy in school but nothing major, but over the past four years or so since I had my first son around that time, I have started becoming what I would like to call 'crazy' lol. At first it was just that I felt really shy in social situations, I would feel like I had nothing to say and always feel like I was going to embarrass myself, then it grew to where I would literally never be around when even my family came, because I was too nervous or afraid? Im not sure. I am pregnant again, and although it was really bad before this, at this point I am not sure what to do, it is that bad. Even when I am just by myself, I often feel as though I am going to have a heart attack my heart is pounding so fast and it almost hurts. Over the past two weeks or so I have actaully had trouble swallowing!! I have no idea why, but it freaks me out even more and then its even harder to. A couple of times, I have felt as though I might pass out and I've had trouble breathing. Even something as simple as taking my son for a walk down the street these days, I am shaky and nervous and I absolutely hate it. The worst part is that I am really NOT like this as a person and I cannot explain how much I hate the feeling of my body acting in ways that I cannot help. Everyone knows me as being a very friendly and nice person and I have lots of friends but I cant even go out anywhere anymore, weddings, parties, even just visits with a family member is like a huge deal and I build it up even more in my mind and do whatever I can to completely avoid these situations. Before I got pregnant this time (the father of my first had him half of the time) and when I didnt have him, I was drinking a lot and I loved it because (I didnt get super drunk) but it was me being able to be myself again, I never even felt DRUNK when I drank anymore, it's almost like the drinking just calmed the anxiety and let me be myself if you know what I mean. Its just really hard, and since it has started to get so bad with the troubles eating - even when Im with one of my best friends and thats it, someone who I feel completely comfortable with, I havent been able to swallow, even on my own its freaking ridiculous. I really cannot live like this anymore Im not depressed at all but it just really hurts feeling like I cant do anything to change and get back to who I used to be. I think the smartest thing to do would be to go and talk to a therapist - I really do not want to take medications, and feel as though maybe if I had someone like a therapist to talk to they would figure out what has caused this and what I can do to get back to being myself and not feeling like Im having a panic attack when I go to the corner store for goddsake its ridiculous.
Anyways sorry to blab on, I just want to know whether anyone thinks this is anxiety or not, what type and what your opinions are? I would love feedback from anyone and everyone. Thanks.
Anyways sorry to blab on, I just want to know whether anyone thinks this is anxiety or not, what type and what your opinions are? I would love feedback from anyone and everyone. Thanks.