Worried, worried, worried...

[Foxglove]

I hope someone may be able to offer pearls of wisdom, they would be appreciated :-)
I suffer from what I class as mild agoraphobia (can get about, though not walking and not alone) and anxiety, sometimes panic attacks and specific phobias.
Okay, so a friend wants me to go on an evening out. This is good, have been out before and survived! Normally locally and this time, it isn't quite so local but to a city (worse places for agoraphobics!). I will be driving (so have some control) but it will take a good hour to get there, may have to pick someone up on the way...may not be able to park that close to the club (that worries me) and, well, this is way out of my comfort zone.
Today I am doing a trial run by driving there with my step son and back again, practising all I know about acceptance and being limp, etc, etc...trying to gain a positive memory so that I feel like I can do it on Friday, looking at the parking...but I am just not sure at all.
The place I am going to could be really busy (which is eek! to me) and what if (the typical what ifs) I get really anxious when I have three people that need to go home, don't understand anxiety at all and probably want to stay out? And just simply, what if I have a panic attack, if this situation triggers one?
I must be mad to even consider doing this but equally, I really want to do it, make it a positive experience. I have tried educating my friends about anxiety but you know what it is like with people who really don't have empathy!
Does anyone have any ideas...or should I literally abandon the idea...I just don't know :-( I just don't want to be an agoraphobic for the night but can I really take a night off?

Thank you

[princesskj]

If you feel you can do it go for it! Me on ther other hand I couldn't do it. Out of town (out of my comfort zone). When I have anxiety and panic attacks it's hard for me to even go to the store. I can't really give you any advice other than do what you think is right. ;)

[trinidiva]

I think you should definitely still go. You will surprise yourself,how well you can actually handle things, once you are in the midst of the situation. Put on some music you enjoy in the car. Notice items on the road as you pass by. Once you pick up the other person, chat about things NOT related to your anxious feelings. I usually would mark my roadtrips with landmarks, and make it a bit of an accomplishment when I was able to make it to certain landmarks along the way. Before you know it, you will be there!!!! Hope you have a great time!

[NixonRulz]

I would suggest you are putting so much pressure on yourself not to feel anxious, that it will be hard not to be.

"What if I have a panic attack." Big deal. You have a panic attack

You've had them before. You didn't get hurt. You'll have them again and won't get hurt

So really. It comes down to if you are willing not to do things you enjoy for a few moments of discomfort.

It goes away after a few moments and you continue on.

I remember one year going to Florida. The family is running around the house late of course for our flight

I am walking around my house having panic attack after panic attack

I had so many it became a joke

But I got on the plane. Had a few more. Still nothing that hurt me.

And nobody ever knew I ever had one.

They are just scary. The more you have, the more you see how weak they really are

They are a mind trick that just gets old. Then you stop putting any weight with them

Go out. Panic. Don't panic. Whatever

You will still be home safe and sound at the end of the night

Have fun!!!!!!!!!

[Lin]

I think you will regret it if you don't at least try going. You have already thought about what might happen, so you can plan what you would do if they did happen. If you have a panic attack, then you slow your breathing down and take time out and calm down. If you get worried by where you are make an excuse and go somewhere to have a break from it.
There will always be ways of making yourself better during the day.
I have my son's graduation on Saturday and I am dreading ruining one of the most memorable days of his life, and embarrass him in front of his friends and their families. But I thought about not going but know he will be devestated, so I am going and I am going to have essential oils in a tissue so that I can smell them to calm me down, have my tablets with me at all times, and a bottle of water to we my lips to stop my panic attacks, and I am going to ask my husband to have a subtle way of telling me I am in overdrive and talking too much.
So plan for all eventualities and hopefully you will get some enjoyment out of the trip.
I will be heartbroken if in a few years time I look back and did not enjoy my son's graduation, he has worked so hard for it, and deserves my pride and support.
So carry on and work out plans to help yourself and try to enjoy, if not all, some of it.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I would suggest you are putting so much pressure on yourself not to feel anxious, that it will be hard not to be.

"What if I have a panic attack." Big deal. You have a panic attack

You've had them before. You didn't get hurt. You'll have them again and won't get hurt

So really. It comes down to if you are willing not to do things you enjoy for a few moments of discomfort.

It goes away after a few moments and you continue on.

I remember one year going to Florida. The family is running around the house late of course for our flight

I am walking around my house having panic attack after panic attack

I had so many it became a joke

But I got on the plane. Had a few more. Still nothing that hurt me.

And nobody ever knew I ever had one.

They are just scary. The more you have, the more you see how weak they really are

They are a mind trick that just gets old. Then you stop putting any weight with them

Go out. Panic. Don't panic. Whatever

You will still be home safe and sound at the end of the night

Have fun!!!!!!!!!

I need to "subscribe" to all your posts (is there a way to do that?) or daily I should just search your profile for what you've written. I LOVE the things you say and the way you say them and it is such a constant, wonderful reminder.

To the original poster, I suggest you try to adopt the "so what if I do have one?" attitude because as Nixon said, you're bound to have one the way you are trying so hard NOT to have one. I need to practice that advice some more today..... I keep forgetting. :(
Sue

[jessed03]

I need to "subscribe" to all your posts (is there a way to do that?) or daily I should just search your profile for what you've written. I LOVE the things you say and the way you say them and it is such a constant, wonderful reminder.

To the original poster, I suggest you try to adopt the "so what if I do have one?" attitude because as Nixon said, you're bound to have one the way you are trying so hard NOT to have one. I need to practice that advice some more today..... I keep forgetting. :(
Sue

Add NixonRulz as a contact, by clicking on his name next to his post, and selecting add as contact. That way, all of his posts will show up when you go onto your profile page.

It's always recommended reading :)