What would you do?

[defmunel]

My goal is to beat my anxiety before it beats me. First step is to stop chasing doctors.
Second is no no no no no NO NO googling.
Third step is no benzos
Fourth step is not talking about my anxiety constantly with others.

Now, let me begin by saying I'm pregnant. Just a mere 5 weeks, so I just found out. I miscarried last December, but I was awfully anxious about the whole thing. This time I am at peace with it. I'm happy and excited!

Now, for the last month and a half, I've been dealing with an uncomfortable throat. No pain, just feels tight. Some mucous. Also, a little ear pain, but not a lot. Lots of ringing in my ears. I've been to the doc 2 times about it and she says its nothing. Perhaps a little virus, but overall nothing. After my last visit with her a month ago about throat tightness, I did end up with a full blown cold. The cold has now gone, but the tightness lingers.

Also, about 3-4 weeks ago, I was clearing out some buckets that had been sealed for over 2 years. When I opened one, it had green mold in it. I did in fact breathe some of it in, but quickly closed the lid. Ran to the restroom, cleaned my nose out, an took a towel over my face to finish the rest of them. I don know if that has anything to do with it, but I'm writing it to tell everything.

Now, back to my goals....I cannot keep chasing doctors. Do I just keep telling myself, I've already been, nothing was wrong. I just need to believe? It is important for me to not run to the doc for every little symptom.

So now that you know the history/story...what would you do?

Ps, I've had tinnitus since forever. Even when I was little I think. Anyway, it's getting a little worse...or I could be imagining that it's getting worse. :)

[defmunel]

Forgot to add a tickling in my throat that causes me to cough. I'll get coughing fits, but they seem to be getting better.

[NixonRulz]

First - congrats on the future little one and I hope all goes well

You sound like you are in the right frame of mind do put this disorder in its place

You are correct by not just saying nothing is wrong. That becomes some type of mantra

You know nothing is wrong so when you feel those those physical symptoms, just tell yourself that it is my anxiety trying to fool me into believing something is wrong.

Understand all your symptoms are ytour anxiety and nothing else. If you don't react to your symptoms, you wouldnt have anxiety.

Sounds easier than you may think but that is the key to healing. Just that simple

Its not your thoughts but how you react to those thoughts that are the difference.

Be well.

[missmello]

Congratulations! :)

It sounds like your symptoms are physical annoyances, and nothing serious to be worried about, but I can totally understand feeling anxious about them, especially considering you're pregnant.

I agree with everything NixonRulz said, although I tell myself those same things and still find it hard to believe at times, Just gotta keep telling yourself you're okay!

In the past I wouldn't hesitate for a second to go to the ER when I was having a panic attack, I went to the hospital so many times it was ridiculous, and it didn't do me any good.
Constantly going to the Dr. can feed the anxiety, especially if there is nothing seriously wrong and you WANT a definitive answer but there isn't one to give. It's feeding that anxiousness, and you may want to keep going back but there's nothing broken to be fixed. It can cause you to have thoughts that there's something rare going on with you and they just can't find it. So yes, I would say limit the Dr. visits and get second opinions if you really feel like it will ease your mind, but once you've gotten their professional opinion (and second opinion, if you decide) then trust them. Believe them. I find meditation and accupuncture have helped me if you are looking for something natural to help you to relax.

[missmello]

Also, I used to google like a maniac, and I never do it anymore. It doesn't help! It never has, and it never will.

As far as benzos go, is that safe to take while pregnant? If they are, and you have a serious panic attack, take one if you really feel like you need it. I try really hard to go the natural route, I prefer to be med-free because I know in my head anxiety is NOTHING... but there are times when I just can't deal with a panic attack and I feel like I have to take one. So I only use them when I feel like I REALLY REALLY need one., but that's just me, do whatever you're comfortable with.

And as far as talking to people about your anxiety... do you feel like it brings on feelings of anxiety? Because I actually feel like it helps to talk it out. I want the people around me to understand what I'm going through, that I'm not just going crazy lol. Sometimes talking about how I feel, and having someone listen, and then talk to me about it, makes me realize "wow that does sound like anxiety, nothing's wrong with me" or sometimes I'll vent to my husband about it and just start crying because some days can be so overwhelming, and I feel better after letting it all out. It's up to you though, do what makes you feel better.

[defmunel]

Thank you both for your replies.

No, benzos are totally off limits while pregnant. In fact, I've been training myself not to take them for this reason. We've been trying to get pregnant for some time, and when id take a Xanax, I'd wonder if I was pregnant. So I decided to handle my anxiety without it.

I stopped googling a month ago. Sometimes I'll think about doing it, but I just cannot. I know what it causes, and it's not worth it to me.

I do talk about my anxiety/physical symptoms with certain people. I've realized there are some out there that I just cannot talk to about it because they actually make it worse. My family is one of them. I mostly just talk to my husband and one friend about it. I feel safe with them. Funny enough, yesterday I tried to talk to my mom for the first time in a month. I use to be super close to my parents and siblings, but things have changed. Anyway, my mom does know about my anxiety, but I've asked her and my dad to please not ask about it. If something needs to be told, I will tell them. Another side note, my dad is a therapist and I can't even talk to him. My brother is in med school for psychotherapy and I cannot talk to him! Anyway, my convo with my mom went terribly south when she started talking to me about her health problems, and how my uncle is dying from a rare fungus in his lungs. She doesn't know how her words affected me, but after we hung up, I was super anxious and depressed. I told my husband that I cannot talk to my mom for more than a few minutes and I have to keep it superficial. I just don't want to feel like that again.

That needs to be my journal entry. Sorry!!! Lol.

Yes, my symptoms are physical annoyances. I am grateful you pointed that out, because those exact words are ones I received as an answer to prayer. You just reconfirmed that for me. So thank you.

I have a 2 month standing appointment with my doc for anxiety follow ups. I also see my therapist tomorrow. I will remain strong and keep telling myself that all will be well.

Thank you again for your response!!!

[missmello]

I can totally relate to you! I can pretty much only talk to my husband and mother-in-law... she in particular is very comforting, and my husband just lets me cry it out lol. The rest of my family just stresses me out to no end, call me constantly asking me how i'm feeling, to the point where I've just stopped taking their calls. It's like they've caught my anxiety lol.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive and I think that is what triggered my anxiety this time around. It's been 2 months of meds and Dr. appointments and I'm over all the drama! Trying to get off Klonopin and feel 100% normal so we can start trying again. You've given me hope by sharing your story, because I can relate. Thank you!

[defmunel]

Oh good luck! We Ttc for 8 months. The problem was that in those 8 months, I felt like if we really had to "try" then it wasn't the right time. My son was conceived in one shot. No trying, or preventing of sorts. We just didn't think it would happen. Anyway, when we had to "try" i felt like it was all wrong. When I did get pregnant, it didn't feel right. I was extremely anxious, I could hardly function throughout the day. I ended up mis carrying that baby. As sad and difficult as the process was, it was the right thing. This last time, as I felt was the way it was suppose to happen for us, came without trying. Just happened so naturally. Now, I don't say this to mean everyone should have babies without trying. Not at all. That's just what I needed to feel right and peaceful about it. I think it is perfectly ok, and fully support those that need extra medical help to conceive. My friend just did ivf and is now 5 months along with a healthy baby boy. It is right for her. I truly hope that things will work out for you. Stay strong. And honestly, if I can do it, you can. I feel like a total basket case most of the time! And its NOT because of the pregnancy! Lol!