your issues and your spouse

[SueWith2]

Hi, I'm Suzanne, 30, married 8 yrs, two girls 4 & 7. depression/anxiety since i was a kid. I looked for a support site because I cannot talk to anyone else, but I need support or advice. I could talk about a million issues but I would like to focus on one right now. I love my husband very much, but lately everything he does annoys me and frustrates me. And i tell him. Which in turn makes me a giant jerk. I can't imagine how awful i must be making him feel..unwated, picked on..and so on. He told me that i need to stop after a rant of mine tonight..which i of course felt like i was right because he is bothering me on every level. Why isn't my love for him showing..why can't i stand him right now. It's like my heart and my actions aren't the same. I just dont understand myself. Can anyone else relate?

[MMA_Matthew]

Hi Suzanne nice to meet you. Your post is very nonspecific but i will try to help as much as possible. Do you think your anxiety/depression is causing you to behave in this way?
Or is this a general relationship "bump in the road"? what is your partner doing to irritate you? you say "everything" that is a very broad statement. your going to need to be more specific if you want good advice/help.

[REF0612]

This happens with me. I say mean things to my husband on purpose and then wonder why I do it. He is trying so hard to help me through my feelings and would do anything for me but I treat him like crap. I do love him but I can't stand to be around him these days. I know my anxiety and depression are at an all time high right now and I wish I had insurance so I could get some medication or something to help. We have been married almost 11 years with no children and I feel like this is going to tear us apart.

[nancyga2013]

Sometimes I say mean things to my fiance as well and he has done nothing at all to me. Its just like something just irritates me! He tries to be very supportive though and trys to understand things, he always calls me a hypochondriac though lol, and tells me to stop looking things up because i'm making myself crazy. Just wanted to let you know your not alone!

[Walking Circles]

I have been doing this here lately too, I find my self irritated with my wife over trivial things and being rather short and unpleasant toward her. I definetly feel like anxiety is the source of this, I stay so keyed up and worried that it just burns my patience out. I feel extra crappy about it right now as she is pregnant. I feel so ashamed over it that I avoid seeing myself in the mirror these days.

[SueWith2]

Thanks for letting me know im not alone in this..now if there were only a way to fix it. I'll think about it and I'll be all ready to be aware of what im doing and change it. But it's hard pretending, you can't do it 24 hrs a day. I totally agree about it stemming from the anxiety we feel all day. I have to make more of an effort with my kids because they come first, and by the time that's over I have nothing left. It doesn't help that we have been going through a rough time (job loss,finances). My mind is just always spinning. I just wish I could be the wife he wants. Hang in there guys, I wish I had answers to share.

[Moonstone]

Glad to fing this thread!! I just had a huge anxiety attack and my husband just went on with what hw was doing. I felt so alone so I started just bawling. He jsut really never knows what to do or say. While I was crying and shaking I blurted out ' I need some compassion please!!'

He came over and put his arm around me. I feel like such a big baby :(

[SueWith2]

i wrote back but it never posted :/

[Lin]

I have been married for 28 years and after having depression and anxiety from hormone imbalance now for 2 years we are really struggling. He criticises, mimics and annoys me so that I scream. In the last two years i have often felt i need to get out. He was much better when he had carer support and seemed to understand more but he is refusing it at the moment. Over the past 28 years i have had depression many tines because of hormones but usually it only lasts 5-6 months before they settle down and tablets usually help me get through it. But lasting much longer this time because of my age and body has rejected all tablets ever taken in the past so both really struggling. Had a break for 7 weeks in hospital in 2011 to get tablets right but didn't get tablets right and made my husband ill too with stress of me being suicidal. So hope it makes you feel better that the type of pressure you get in your head with depression etc can cause real problems with your husband, and it is a real struggle for both of you, and the same for many of us.