How do people deal with this?!?!?

[ThisIsNowIt]

Im tired of feeling like im going to drop dead at any second, and i dont/wont/cant live the rest of my life feeling like this. I truly find it amazing that people actually live with this!!! im a 21 year old girl and if you took one look at me youd think i was the epitome of perfect health -yet ive convinced myself im dying of something.

I dont take the medication my doctor prescribes me because im sure ill have an allergic reaction(mirtazapine and lorazepam), i dont tell her because im worried she'll call me crazy and send me to a pysch ward. I stay awake each night googling every kind of health problem known to man literally- until im so exhausted my body makes me fall asleep, I violently kick and scream in my sleep and wake myself up atleast 2 or 3 times a night/morning. My heart pounds and flutters in my chest all day long, my head is so fuzzy and airy and overwhelmed with thoughts of having a heart attack, a stroke, MS, schizophrenia. Im waiting to just hear voices in my head, i feel like thats whats next. My very first panic attack was 3 months ago and that specific one plays over and over in my head. I smoked for many years, i was badly addicted and tried so many times to quit, now i cant have 1 cigarette without thinking i'll have a stroke. I truly dont feel like me, i just want it to stop. i feel like i stepped into someone elses body. Please help me, how do people deal with this? am i just crazy?

[jbevis]

In my opinion you need to take the meds. I was scared to take mine too but I did and I'm still alive so I'm just waiting for them to start working. I'm on lorazapam too until the new med starts working and it definitely helps keep the full on panic attacks away, even though I still have some of the general anxiety.

[xxcraigiexx]

I know exactly how you feel. It all started for me about a year and a half ago. One day for no real reason I became terrified of dropping dead. I am 26 and I am told I am in great health. I have had my heart, head, and bones checked but I still cant shake this fear. It has taken away a lot of the things in my life that I used to take for granted...like driving without panicking and going to work like a regular person. Everyday I wake up thinking that I am living my final moments, my heart races and flutters. I have gotten a lot better than I was a few months ago. I am on lorazepam an trust me it does take the edge off. I know that one day I will get through this and you will too. You can message me anytime if you need to vent. Stay Strong!!

[alfred24]

That's how it was for me for the exact first 3 months. The intensity has gone down and I don't have it bad like that anymore but I remember the googling all the time, the doctor visits. Nothing is wrong with you. Once i stopped googling and started accepting the feelings I was just able to focus on getting better and focus on the good days. Take herbal teas and natural supplements if you don't want to take meds. Look them up and choose what you want to do. That's basically what I did

[ThisIsNowIt]

thankyou SO much, you have no idea how much ur response means to me. its 4am in the morning and i just cant stop googling damn it! It all seems to get so much more worse at night time:( im still not sure about taking the lorazepam, im quite certain im going to end up in the ER. but anyway THANKYOU!

[alankay]

I agree. I was ativan for years and it is effective and not likely to give you much in the way of side effects unless you take too much and get drowsy. Just use the least needed.
The thing you have to understand to get better is your doc went to med school so knows all about this. She has several other patients with the same anxiety as you. All docs do.....many of with anxiety have a touch of hypopchondria. If she's a pdoc she's very knowledgeable then.
Anyway there's a saying "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten". Do you want to stay anxious?? Well break the cycle of anxiety and more anxiety. Listen to your doc and start a very low dose of ativan just for a few days to help get you calmed down. But also see if you can line up some time with a counselor to see if you ca reduce you anxiety via psychotherapy. Meds aren't an answer in in themselves but the ativan can help you break the cycle of anxiety, which leads to more anxiety, while working on understand why you're anxious. Perhaps you can also get better educated on anxiety while in a less anxious state which will help as well. Just my thoughts. Alankay

[Judie]

Wow that could have been me in my 20's when my Panic Disorder surfaced. Please note I am now 58, so I'm thinking NO on any major health problems :) . You need to sit through the anxiety. It is your mind's way of using the body to tell you to pay attention that something is off. The something that is off is your phobia about health. There is nothing wrong with you physically you need to work on the phobias. The key way to beat or put to rest or atleast manage it is to address it. Learn the Coping Skills to handle and quiet the attacks and then "ride" them out. In doing this like any fearful situation we experience when it is over it is over. Soon the Panic subsides and the attacks are quieted because you did not run from the anxiety, you stood up to it. Doing this puts YOU in control not the anxiety. My Panic Disorder has had Ebbs and Flows, just like life, during the last 29 years. Trust me mine can be very tough and has a way of producing NEW and DIFFERENT symptoms to attempt to trick me. Not easy but I know it's simply a message from my body to listen to what I am feeling and address any issues. In addition to any meds you are taking try 1,000-2,000 Omega 3 ( Fish Oil) supplements. The Omega 3's are the Brain Function and work remarkably well with many brain disorders from Anxiety/Depression to Alzheimers and ADHD. Hang in there !

[alfred24]

thankyou SO much, you have no idea how much ur response means to me. its 4am in the morning and i just cant stop googling damn it! It all seems to get so much more worse at night time:( im still not sure about taking the lorazepam, im quite certain im going to end up in the ER. but anyway THANKYOU!

Trust me it seems to come to me more at night too. Idk if its because things seem more lonely at night and dark idk. But yea I've had to go to the ER plenty of times even had a CT scan and MRI done. And nothing was wrong. Blood tests came back completely normal, and if you go to the ER I guarantee you'll get the same response. Anxiety is weird, no doubt. An ugly feeling especially during a panic attack. But it isn't dangerous. Trust me, you will be OKAY. YOU WILL. In time this will start to lessen, it will start weakening. If you haven't researched what anxiety and panic attacks are then do it. That will start you in understanding what you're dealing with. Then you can try helping yourself bit by bit. It's hard work but totally doable. I'm in bed right now feeling a bit anxious. It's 11 am here but I know it's anxiety. I calm myself and accept these feelings and kind of just float with them. Don't feel them and think its going to cause you harm or death, believe me it isn't. I know the kind of night you're having right now. I've been there. Once you can begin accepting they are just feelings you can start grasping on to getting past all this. I hope this comes soon for you I really do.

[Lin]

The very first time I had post natal depression in 1990 I refused medication, the second time a couple of years later I did not refuse it, and I have never refused it since. If they can find the right medication for you, it can give you a lift which helps you live your life so much better than if you didn't take them.
I personally think that there is too much information now on the web which we can find, and you can find a scary site about anything if you tried. I would stop looking at the web and start listening to your doctor.

[Moonstone]

Hey there hun,
I can totally empathize with you. I am terrified of a certain illness which I won't mentioN in case you get worried about that too and so many mornings I wake up and its the first thing on my mind usually. But I am learning that my mind is sending out too much adrenaline so my mind then is looking for something scary to make sense of aLl this adrenaline being shot out thru my system. I am having anxiety right now so I hope this is making sense.
Please try one Lorazepam. You will feel less anxious and will prob make sense of what is going on with you. If there ws something terribly wrong with you, your doctor would be able to tell. I am sure you have had exams, yes? Research, google ways to deal with anxiety if you must google. If you need somebody to talk on here with, drop by my thread. You are not alone in this! ((( Hugs )))

[PanicCured]

You don't deal with it. You accept it as not how things should be then you do what you need to do to get better. Most people here ask the wrong questions. What you should be asking is, "What causes these symptoms and how can I get better?" Then do what you have to do to heal and overcome the anxiety disorder. There is no other option. It is a disorder that can be cured. Do what you have to do to get there. Nothing else! The meds may provide you temporary comfort but will not cure you. Taking the meds or not has no impact on the work that needs to be done for you to get better. Taking meds is simply to help people to cope which may help you, but regardless, you have to heal yourself to get past this permanently, and that your doctor can't help you with. I wrote about my personal healing path from anxiety, panic and agoraphobia to being cured in the sticky above. Do some type of path somewhat similar to mine and you will be better.

So instead of asking "Why me?" ask, "What causes these symptoms and how can I get better?"