so tired of not feeling normal

[ritterwitter]

i have read a lot of other posts and when people talk about their unrealistic thoughts, they speak about one of them being of dying. now, when i am on the verge of a panic attack i do feel like i am dying and of course going crazy. funny how easy it is to talk about now, even thought its the most terrifying experience i have ever have. but during daily life when i am overly stressed i start to think about unrealistic things in a downward spiral. i have always been horrible with change, since i was a small child. one of my biggest thoughts is if my parents die. or anyone else that i am close to. i fear being completely alone without the people i cannot live without. i have recently stopped taking effexor xr, and really want to try to maintain this without it. but i feel like i will never be able to stop it from happening and i dont want to be like this everytime i am stressed out. blah. im not sure what i was trying to accomplish here. i just hate it. :cry:

[stressd]

I felt the same way...my Mom would go to her class at the local Community college and i would wait up in bed, having panic attacks for no reason until she got home. I think a lot about how I may never see my family again after I die (I am Catholic but am somewhat realistic) and get anxious. There is always that question. I have suffered with anxiety since grade school and still suffer to this day (I am mid 30's). My biggest fear now....passing it on to my future children. I would LOVE to have my own, but sometimes feel it may be better to adopt so they don't suffer like I have....
I hope you find this response welcoming....I didn't get a response for the longest time on the site, so I wanted you to feel normal...like us...

take care,
S

[neverbeenright]

I have a horrible fear of dying as well. And when I think about losing my mom or my son I can't even bear it. I can't even imagine what would come after that. Like too much would be missing from my life to go on. One of my ways of coping with life is always trying to prepare myself for the worst in any situation. It's my attempt to have some control over the unknown and uncontrollable. But death is one of those things that I just cannot prepare for. People just find a way to cope when it happens. I find some comfort in that fact that people lose parents and children all of the time and they manage to go on with their lives.

Did you feel any better when you were on the Effexor? I've been on and off a variety of antidepressants during my life and when off, the anxiety (and eventually the depression) always comes back with a vengeance. With this much anxiety, I would guess that you would need to work hard with a good therapist to get by without medication.

Good luck! :)