Scared of dying from deadly cancer that runs in my family

[JohnStatic]

I'm 30 and suffered from health anxiety and OCD for over 15 years. For the past 5 years my life has been up and down, many unwarranted ER visits just to be tested and told I'm fine. I always had a fear of dying young. Now that I have a 2 month old, my anxiety and stress levels been at an all time high. I live everyday in fear of dying young like my mother, grandfather, brother and uncles, all from a rare cancer.

All I can is minimize my risk but I'm still terrified from hearing stories from this disease and it's random course. I cant even look at my son for long periods of time without getting depressed and thinking how I will not be able to see him grow up.

I have an appt next month with a psychologist at kaiser. What's funny I know what to do to help reduce these feelings of anxiety like working out/exercising, eating healthy, spending time with friends and family. But I do neither of those things, I just sit on the couch and worry.

If god (or some super power) came down and told me, "Son, you'll live to be 90, stop worrying of dying young" or even have a medical test saying 100% you wont dont of this disease. Then I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE.

[PanicCured]

If god (or some super power) came down and told me, "Son, you'll live to be 90, stop worrying of dying young" or even have a medical test saying 100% you wont dont of this disease. Then I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE.

This is not reality. If you need God to tell you that you will live to 90, then you will be waiting until you are 90. Can you please grab a hold of yourself! Fuck it man! Just say Fuck it! We live in the Shadow of Death. That's how it works. You may live to 110 or you may not live until tomorrow. You don't like it? Tough! That is how it is! What do you expect any of us to tell you, that we know for sure you will live until 90?

Stop with the health anxiety. Just forget about it! You lack faith. Maybe there is something in you that never dies, so when the body dies, that eternal soul lives on and keeps going on its journey. Death as a transition from one phase until another or you move on to somewhere else.

Fuck it and live your life! Be healthy, live a healthy life, and do your best, but nobody can tell you when you will die or you will live forever. These type of things must come from you and your faith that everything is ok. You should focus on controlling your mind and everything else will follow.

Go enjoy your life and stop worrying about shit you can't control. The only thing you can control if your mind.

[JohnStatic]

Go enjoy your life and stop worrying about shit you can't control.

Thanks for the reply. I keep telling myself, all this BS is going to look silly when I am actually on my death bed whether it's 5 months, 5 years, 15 or 50 years from now. I'm going to say "wth did I spend so much time worrying and stressing out when I couldve been doing this or doing that"

[stephanie21]

I have a 19 month old an I've had really bad health anxiety for about 8 years... Due to many family members passing from cancer.. I constantly think I'm going to die from a heart attack cancer aneurysm sudden death all kinds of things..... Since my son was about 5 months old I started really having major panic attacks an anxiety over leaving him with out a mommy an him never knowing who I am because I'm positive I'm going to die all the time just this morning I thought I was going to die :( I've stressed myself so much the past year more than ever! Major depression.... I myself seen a therapist at kaiser an all they did was try to convince me to take strong medications an I stopped going I have a fear of side effects.... I still suffer everyday from the same thing an pray everyday I will be cured forever some natural way! I know EXACTLY how your feeling

[PanicCured]

Thanks for the reply. I keep telling myself, all this BS is going to look silly when I am actually on my death bed whether it's 5 months, 5 years, 15 or 50 years from now. I'm going to say "wth did I spend so much time worrying and stressing out when I couldve been doing this or doing that"

Yeah and people on their death bed regret what they didn't do, not what they did do. This is your life. Don't just sit around waiting to die. Try and take advantage of this gift of life you've been given and do what you can to make it nice and enjoyable. We didn't go through billions of years of evolution to be stressed out and anxious all day.

[trinidiva]

Panic Cured gave you some good advice.....as hard as it is, you have to just let go and live!!!!!! Enjoy every moment!!!

[NixonRulz]

Yeah and people on their death bed regret what they didn't do, not what they did do. This is your life. Don't just sit around waiting to die. Try and take advantage of this gift of life you've been given and do what you can to make it nice and enjoyable. We didn't go through billions of years of evolution to be stressed out and anxious all day.

This is a great post on a very touchy subject. I dig the brutally honest response. We should all just say shit as it is

Way to get a trend started

[Moonstone]

IMHO, do what you can to help prevent cancer, look in. NutRitional books and or see a naturopathic doctor. DO what you can and then you just have to let it go cause no one can control every aspect of their lives.

Also having a new baby makes one see life differently. You want to do your very best for this child so it is only natural that being around to see this child grow up is of the utmost important to you. However no one gets a gurantee of tomorrow. God forbid I could be having lunch on a patio and a car could come crashing thru and kill me.

So we must try and enjoy today, that's all we have. And let's try and not borrow 'possible' troubles from tomorrow, don't we have enough of todays troubles?

Enjoy your baby today

PS. I have an elderly aunt and for all my life, I can remember her saying that she's probably going to die soon. We are talking about the last 20, 30 years. After her husband died.... And ya know what?

ShE iS 90 now!! LOL and will be 91 next month!! - YAY!! :)

PLus I am glad that you'll be seeing someone to discuss this matter. They can prob give you a better perspective on this and other things! Congrats on your new baby BTW !!!! :)

[enrapture]

I have been through similar things. Still have health anxiety but i don't let it eat at me as much as i used to.

ER visits were common and i had numerous specialist appts, scans etc. And they all told me i was fine.

I now have to talk myself out of thinking this way. Positive affirmations and relaxation have worked best for me. It's natural to think about your children if you weren't around anymore too. But live life in the present and try not to think about the 'what if' so much.

[M.C]

Hi

I feel exactly d same as u afta a traumatic experience last year sep dat led me 2 having an operation on my rite lung
Since den I m worried of contracting serious diseases mainly c****r as I get physical pain everywhere in my body
I m scared of catching flu bcoz I m gonna end up in a hospital bed...
A sore throat 2 me means a throat c****r a headache means a tumor and so on
I m afraid of taking meds bcoz of d side effects
I m always miserable and watching out 4 death
I can not stay in d house by my self I can not go 2 d loo without leaving d door open I can not sleep without havin my kids and husband in d bed with me
Every1 telling me u need 2 b strong in order 2 get out of dis but where am I gonna get dis strength from
' my kids '?
Every time I look at dem I m in tears all I think about der 2 little ! If I go who s gonna look afta dem?
D bottom line is whether I think about it or not it s gonna happen sooner or later so waste my time focusing on it
Dis is what I say 2 my self when I come 2 my senses
Try 2 do d same bcoz everyday u waste in feeling dis way is a day deducted from ur life

[JohnStatic]

Thanks everyone for the strong support. I'm hoping I stick to CBT this time, it always seems to help so much after a few sessions that I eventually stop going. Also my last resort is to get on meds to try to live in happiness.

But can I ask you this. Do you really think it's silly to worry? I go to these health anxiety forums and I see people who think a sore throat is throat cancer, stomach pain is gastric cancer, etc... My deal is a little bit different.

I almost wish I never about that side of the family. I never grew up with them, only seen them a few times but their deaths have so much impact on me. I see other people in my family living up to 80,and even to 90.

[M.C]

We all worry at some point in our life

The question is does worrying change ur fate?
I don't think it does so why worry
It s easy 2 say but hard 2 apply
I no it bcoz I m goin through it everyday

[M.C]

Having members of ur family passing away due 2 cancer does not necessarily mean that u r facing d same fate
I do feel d same sometimes as my aunty died bcoz of uterus cancer my uncle has leukaemia
And I still remember about 2 months ago my GP wanted me 2 do a protein blood test
It was horrific going 2 d hospital and getting it done and waiting couple of dayz 4 d results
I could not sleep bcoz all I was thinking about is leukaemia
On the other hand my grandfather was 96 when he died and he was in good health
I torture my self 4 no reason
If u r meant 2 get something u will get it
u wont b the first and certainly not the last

[PanicCured]

But can I ask you this. Do you really think it's silly to worry? I go to these health anxiety forums and I see people who think a sore throat is throat cancer, stomach pain is gastric cancer, etc...

It doesn't matter if it is a real disease, real death, real tragedy or whatever it is, worrying does not good for anything! Even if one is really going to die, worry and panic offers absolutely no benefit. So think to yourself, if it is anxiety or really death, what's the point of worrying? IF you ave a true problem then you just need to focus on getting better. Worrying does no good.

You are scared to die and lack faith that your soul will live on. You should meditate on these concepts.

[Lin]

My dad died of a heart attack at age of 79 and my mum died of cancer at age of 69. So both bad illnesses are in my family, but I just think that you never know what is round the corner so you can't worry about something you might not get. Depression and anxiety when it strikes you need to work hard to get through it, so there is no head space at same time to sorry about something you haven't got. As long as you have always been to doctor to check any symptoms and you haven't got them, then you have to let them go out if your head and work on getting over what you know you have wrong.

[granty]

Seriously depressing stuff, I to worry about these kind of things but then tell myself I have no control over what the upcoming days are going to bring