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indiana
04-08-2013, 03:41 AM
Sorry to reply to your post like this. Don't know why I suddenly cannot send replies to your post (I am not trying a third time....). Maybe it was too long

I was very pleased when you "turned up" on the forum again. Your comments were greatly missed as you have a great understanding for your own anxiety and how you dealt with it and what advice to give to others.

A little update
Last year at this time I really had some hope that things could turn around for me. Summer was great. In autumn I started getting more and more tense. Don't know why, Maybe it was the dark scandinavian winterdays that started it off. Then I got really stressed weeks before I went to a birthday or anywhere where I had to be with other people. thought they could tell how tense I was (shows in your face, mood). At the beginning of the year I had the flue and pneumonia for one month and an attack of TMJ with pain. After that things went from bad to worse and I had (for the first time) to get some antidepressant but which I did not take as I hate taking medicine. I still think accepting anxiety is the best way to beat it. I just don't know how to do that at present. Somehow I managed to calm myself down with daily yoga, massage once a week etc. In september I will see a psychiatrist (she has 6 months waiting list) and then I really think I need CBT. I realize how tense my whole body is and actually has been for years. There comes a point where you just get used to is not feeling good.
I know that I have an old issue of guilt and shame from things that happened many years ago and I have never addressed it. It has bothered me a lot. I thinks that is the key. It is not my present life that gives me anxiety. The things that happened have just had consequenses for my present life also.

Yea I will try for mental emptiness. Would be happy just to have mental calm at first.
Isn't the ego also involved when it comes to guilt and shame?

Thanks for your message. Keep well