Depression -> A.D

[da10267]

Hey,

I would really appreciate it if someone took the time to read this and give me advice or some kind of feedback on this post, because I have posted helplessly a few times before and never got help or anything

I was first depressed ever in my life 1 and a half years ago. I felt hopeless and miserable and felt that life was not worth living anymore. My mood had changed from being a happy person to someone else where I would have pity on myself and I could not be happy anymore. Even up to this day, I can't spontaneously be happy or spontaneously laugh or smile. I had never gotten help from when I first got depressed and thought that I would get over it thinking it was only a phase I was going through as it was new to me. I got depressed from different factors that build up during the month of december 2011, such as my brothers attitude towards me was really negative and I had met my mother for the first time in my life (when I was 17) and at the same time, having family issues between my mums side of the family and my fathers (not biological though) side of the family and then meeting my biological father for the first time also. What I mainly believe that caused my depressed state was my brother, who was negative towards me at that time which may have caused chemicals in my brain to change, and still up to this day, when he throws a tantrum at me or says anything negative at all, I am so irritable to what he says mainly, compared to anyone else. I then left the country to go boarding school by myself and there my mind got worse. Months went by and my severely depressed state from when I was first depressed came down but from depression, because my mood wasn't happy at all and I had no joy in life and couldn't laugh in social situations because I was depressed, I think this is what caused my social anxiety, which I have had ever since being depressed.

So I just want to ask:
Can depression lead to chronic social anxiety/social anxiety disorder? (If left untreated and thinking it would all go away)

I say chronic because I have been socially anxious from that time of being depressed right up till now.

And I don't actually know if what I'm about to say is depression or anxiety, or a mix of both. I'll explain. Like tonight for example, I was at my mates place and there were about 7 of us, all sitting around a table. Everyone talking and laughing and I'm sitting there, blank face, no smile, no laugh, no happiness or joy while feeling anxiety at the same time. But the anxiety I feel is an anxious feeling that everyone will see me as someone boring or arrogant to laugh or smile but really, I CAN'T. If I have to laugh or smile when someone is talking to me and telling a "funny" story or a joke, it would be forced and then forcing it triggers more anxiety. At the end of the night, it was just the 4 of us, my two mates, and my brother. They were all laughing spontaneously and enjoying each others company comfortably but me, I could not laugh at all. Or even smile. I would have to force laugh and force smile because those 3 are laughing and I don't want to be sitting there with no expression on my face at all. This is like one of my biggest problems, trying to find happiness, or trying to regain happiness again. Some say, do things that make you happy. But that is only temporary though take for example me playing Call of Duty 4 makes my happy, but how am I suppose to be happy afterwards when in a social situation? [metaphorically speaking without trying to be negative in any way]

Me not being able to smile, laugh, be happy in the inside, or not being able to lift my mood from no-emotion-onlyanxiousfeelings-me to happy-fulloflaughter-fullofsmiles-me) Now, I just want to know, is this some anxiety disorder or some kind of depression I still have or a mixture of both maybe?

I have been this way ever since I first experienced depression right up to this day (can't laugh, smile, be happy spontaneously) and I think this is what triggers my day-to-day anxiety.

I also get clicking sounds in my head, like the back area of my head and the inner part of my head in the middle. I hear these clicking sounds not from my ears but I can feel and hear it from my brain. I've had this sensation for maybe over a month now and it happens mainly when I'm alone.

What might this be?

[cookie26]

Hi da10267,

I have discovered through my doctor that anxiety and depression actually fall along the same spectrum of disorders, according the the DSM-V (or the diagnostic book that psychologists and doctors use to diagnose mental and mood disorders). This is because researchers have discovered that anxiety and depression typically tend to affect the same portions of the brain, but some people may experience more of certain symptoms one disease more than the other. They even tend to be treated with the same antidepressant drugs. You can watch a great video on the similarities of depression and anxiety if you want to understand depression and anxiety better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pucaO72FqI8

I have anxiety disorder but I also tend to have smaller doses of depression alongside my anxiety symptoms. This is very normal. I have found for me that a mixture of medication and counseling has worked the best to treat it. Finding help from others is really nothing to be ashamed of, and I would really encourage you to talk with a counselor at your school - when I was in high school, I experienced depression and went to see my academic counselor. If there is a teacher you really trust, or academic counselor, tell them how you're feeling and that you're looking to talk to someone, like a counselor. They will likely be able to hook you up with a counselor. Talk therapy has shown to have very good results with treating depression. So has medication. Also, exercise has shown to have really great results with treating depression. Don't give up! You are a valuable person and CAN live a better, happier life...it just takes a little effort to know inside yourself that you can work on your disease, it doesn't have to work you, one step at a time.