View Full Version : My fears confirmed
mellymel
03-29-2013, 04:35 PM
I went to the doctor today and got the dreaded news I kinda new was true all along. I have PTSD with psychotic features. I'm not normal after all.
alankay
03-29-2013, 04:37 PM
Did he have a treatment plan for you that seems good? No wonder you're struggling so much. :( Alankay
jessed03
03-29-2013, 04:38 PM
Melly, what kind of psychotic features are we talking here?
I'm not doubting your doctor, but I've heard that term thrown around and used on people who are now even healthier and well than I am.
locksey
03-29-2013, 04:40 PM
So what are they goin 2 do to help u ?
albgirl82
03-29-2013, 05:05 PM
I was diagnosed with PTSD this week. Hang in there everything has a solution babe. Are you gonna start medications??
mellymel
03-29-2013, 07:04 PM
The psychotic features are the hallucinations I have. Like seeing things from the corner of my eyes, hearing the tv (the thing I explained in a post a few days ago) and I guess all my weirdo thoughts. The PTSD is from some trauma I went through with my daughter. But needless to say, I am very scared.
jessed03
03-29-2013, 07:46 PM
I echo forwells' sentiments completely!
What approach are you taking with your doctor to address this?
mellymel
03-29-2013, 07:49 PM
CBT and she wants me to consider anti psychotics. She doesn't think I NEED them, but she thinks it will help me get better sooner.
alankay
03-29-2013, 09:17 PM
Melly, please understand these diagnoses are based on what they saw TODAY based on recent memory/symptoms only, etc, and not a definite statement on who you are. What she wants to do via meds/CBT is to push or nudge you into a "better"(calmer?) place psychologically where you will interpret things more "normally". Think of "psychotic" features ONLY as how bad you're feeling now/these days(that makes sense, right). That's all. I bet after a brief period on her meds you can go off(or a much lower dose) then being in a better place, being all calmed down and go on from there will fewer meds.
I myself was so anxious I was sure/feared I would need to go inpatient but after I got all calmed down, to a better place along with some education on anxiety I would never go back "there" again because I knew all about it, had treatment and help. It makes all the difference and I'm optimistic for you. An accurate diagnoses and then treatment is everything!
By the way i love your new profile pic! very nice Girl!! :)
Alankay
jessed03
03-29-2013, 09:43 PM
A profile pic would be appreciated from you too alan! Stop hiding that handsome face from us all...
smoore
03-29-2013, 09:46 PM
A profile pic would be appreciated from you too alan! Stop hiding that handsome face from us all...
Lmao! That's funny Jesse
smoore
03-29-2013, 09:49 PM
Mel..if I might say something..I think you should see someone else and get a second opinion..I have the same thoughts as you and I've only been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. I sure would rethink your dx. Just my opinion
mellymel
03-29-2013, 09:55 PM
Mel..if I might say something..I think you should see someone else and get a second opinion..I have the same thoughts as you and I've only been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. I sure would rethink your dx. Just my opinion
What type of thoughts? And I have hallucinations, I think that's where the psychotic features come to play
mglover92
03-29-2013, 10:01 PM
Most doctors these days just read off a check list of symptoms and if you fall under "the symptom" then they just try and label you. I would get a second opinion.
smoore
03-29-2013, 10:03 PM
The bad thoughts about my daughter and thoughts like being possessed and stuff. How are having psychotic features?
mellymel
03-29-2013, 10:05 PM
I mean I thought about a second opinion, but honestly, I think she is right. Hearing and seeing things are hallucinations if they are not truly there and that's what happens to me. I don't know what else to call it. They are what they are, psychotic features. Now if she said I was psychotic, I would maybe doubt that, but I don't see what there is to doubt here. Does anyone else have these symptoms and think its just anxiety ? I have always thought there was a little more then anxiety with my case because of the hallucinations. They are not common with regular anxiety.
smoore
03-29-2013, 10:06 PM
I've always been told that when you hallucinate you truly believe what you see and don't realize it's hsllucinating. Or you truly believe the tv is on!
mellymel
03-29-2013, 10:08 PM
The bad thoughts about my daughter and thoughts like being possessed and stuff. How are having psychotic features?
I see things out of the corners of my eyes, and I hear like a mumbling sometimes when I am in a silent room. As if a tv were playing but low so you can here exactly what's being said. But enough to hear "voices" god that sounds creepy :(
smoore
03-29-2013, 10:10 PM
I agree with you it is what it is. How long have you been doing this?
mellymel
03-29-2013, 10:10 PM
I've always been told that when you hallucinate you truly believe what you see and don't realize it's hsllucinating. Or you truly believe the tv is on!
That's what I thought too. But it's not true. I am fully aware that nothing is there, however, this is what separates it from being psychotic features and not actual psychosis. The ability to have insight. Which I have thank god, and hopefully I don't lose...
mellymel
03-29-2013, 10:13 PM
Melly, please understand these diagnoses are based on what they saw TODAY based on recent memory/symptoms only, etc, and not a definite statement on who you are. What she wants to do via meds/CBT is to push or nudge you into a "better"(calmer?) place psychologically where you will interpret things more "normally". Think of "psychotic" features ONLY as how bad you're feeling now/these days(that makes sense, right). That's all. I bet after a brief period on her meds you can go off(or a much lower dose) then being in a better place, being all calmed down and go on from there will fewer meds.
I myself was so anxious I was sure/feared I would need to go inpatient but after I got all calmed down, to a better place along with some education on anxiety I would never go back "there" again because I knew all about it, had treatment and help. It makes all the difference and I'm optimistic for you. An accurate diagnoses and then treatment is everything!
By the way i love your new profile pic! very nice Girl!! :)
Alankay
This all makes sense and makes me feel better! Thank you :)
smoore
03-29-2013, 10:24 PM
Stay strong girl!! You are going to be fine! Keep us updated! Face your fears and stay head strong!
mellymel
03-29-2013, 10:32 PM
Stay strong girl!! You are going to be fine! Keep us updated! Face your fears and stay head strong!
Thanks I will :)
laurandisorder
03-30-2013, 02:01 AM
I'm not sure what kind of trauma you experienced with your child, but to affect you this way just indicates that you are human and you aren't abnormal - given your individual circumstances.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and anorexia after I was in a terrible car accident years ago. I no longer have either of these diagnoses (ED-NOS and GAD now - ✊Booyah!!). In fact the anxiety that I have had on and off for the last 5 years that is only partially related to the accident has outlasted both of these.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not an abnormal, insane or crazy reaction to trauma of any kind. Could you imagine experiencing what you have gone through *without* having any adverse consequences? Now that would be crazy - just to not react and go on as if your life was exactly the same? It would be like soldiers returning from a violent, bloody and horrific war where they had to take lives and watch their own die without having any of it seem to affect them.
On my opinion, the PTSD makes you more normal than not. I know how conflicted, scared and stigmatised you must feel with this diagnosis. I would recommend talking to another Dr as well. A second opinion from a PTSD specialized psychiatrist would definitely not go astray.
I hope you're ok x
Brittany1995
03-30-2013, 02:28 AM
What type of thoughts? And I have hallucinations, I think that's where the psychotic features come to play
Like I sometimes think the TV is on when it's not. Or sometimes think I see random things in the corner of my eyes.... I think these are just natural human things. When I think "psychotic", I think Of people hearing voices talking to them, and stuff. Or seeing like full fledged objects that aren't real. I would totes get a second opinion, girly.
PanicCured
03-30-2013, 04:43 PM
I went to the doctor today and got the dreaded news I kinda new was true all along. I have PTSD with psychotic features. I'm not normal after all.
Doctors have a diagnosis for everything. PTSD does not mean you are broken. It does not mean you can't be helped. This isn't cancer, it is PTSD. You experienced some trauma that left you traumatized. If you are willing to do the work and get the proper therapy and treatments, and really try instead of giving up to some doctor's diagnosis, you can be just fine.
trinidiva
03-30-2013, 06:08 PM
I would definitely get a second opinion and still don't give up. You still have to try to work hard daily.
I would start to track when you feel badly, if its after a night of not sleeping well, etc.
Start going to sleep earlier. Try it out for a week or two, see if it helps. I firmly believe anxiety related symptoms can get ugly if you aren't getting a proper nights sleep.
Are you eating properly? If not, track what you are eating. Not eating properly can also trigger anxious feelings.
I'm going to be honest, the ptsd, ok..I can believe that, but the psychotic features, I'm really not sure....based on what you've mentioned here in the forums. When you are out of your normal element, with family and friends, you are fine, and don't experience symptoms. I don't know, in my opinion, if this was truly the case, you'd be seeing and hearing things all the time, no matter where you are.
mellymel
03-30-2013, 06:10 PM
Doctors have a diagnosis for everything. PTSD does not mean you are broken. It does not mean you can't be helped. This isn't cancer, it is PTSD. You experienced some trauma that left you traumatized. If you are willing to do the work and get the proper therapy and treatments, and really try instead of giving up to some doctor's diagnosis, you can be just fine.
I know, the PTSD is not what concerns me. I know I have it, I've known before they even diagnosed me. It's the "psychotic features" that are scaring me.
locksey
03-30-2013, 06:15 PM
I know, the PTSD is not what concerns me. I know I have it, I've known before they even diagnosed me. It's the "psychotic features" that are scaring me.
I agree wid above msg
mellymel
03-30-2013, 06:29 PM
Mel
What sort of doctor was this that told you this ? Also how long have they known you to find this out ?
I understand that this is worrying you . I do not believe that it is anything more than anxiety and have told you that i have had both in the pass .
I would be getting a second option for sure . I also had one doctor that saw me for a total of 10 minutes that wanted me on two different anti psychotic and more benzos . I had simply gone in there for help getting off of the single wrong benzo i was on .
There is one thing i would like to ask . This sound you hear can you explain it . Is it more like a buzzing , muffled sound ?
Also i think its important to think about what else you will do on to of the drugs if you decided to go that route .
"hallucinations. They are not common with regular anxiety"Not sure what you would mean by this . Also not sure what you would class as regular anxiety . All cases are different and i doubt you would find two the same .
I have been seeing this doctor since February.
She said she thought I has psychotic features all along but wasn't exactly sure until this last time that I talked to her.
The sounds I hear sound just like a television is on in a room next to me, but it's so low that I can't make our what's being said. I just her low mumbling voices. One time I heard a very faint "hi" as I was running down the steps in my house and home alone. As for seeing things, I get the usual shadows out of the corners of my eyes and such, but I also see faces randomly, hard to explain. Like creepy faces and it's brief. I double check and nothing is there. On top of that I have the wired thoughts.
I'm not so sure I want the medication but I'm afraid of developing full blown psychosis if the "features" are not treated.
The odd thing is, my husband and my mom both experience the exact same thing. All of what I said. In fact everyone I ask says this happens to them at some point or another, some as frequent as mine, some people say it happens less then it happens to me. So maybe it's common and only begins to be a serious issue when you lose touch with reality. I don't know.
As far as it not being a normal part of anxiety, that's what I have been told by my psychologist and what I have researched. Hallucinations are common in ptsd, but not with generalized or any other type of anxiety.
This has been happening for a few months I think. It actually really kicked in when I started to fear having schizophrenia. It was like I read the symptoms and they started happening to me. Very strange.
I just pray that it doesn't get any worse, because I fear that I will end up lost in another reality. That devastates me and scares the hell out of me because I would lose my daughter.
jamus75
03-30-2013, 06:41 PM
Mel. Let me first agree with what most people said about doctors diagnosis these days. They need something on paper they can't just write " I don't know". They want to prescribe meds. Meds are right for some people but not always. Also, I worked at the state hospital ( aka crazy house )for 3 years . I have talked to you numerous times and seen your posts. Crazy people or psychotic people would not be on a forum like this worrying about being crazy. They believe they are ok and don't worry or are just oblivious to it. You are neither. Trust in your doctors but also trust in yourself and you know more about yourself than someone does who talks to your for an hour or less.
mellymel
03-30-2013, 08:54 PM
I appreciate all the supportive feed back from everyone! I actually think I am coming to terms with this though. I have too. If I never accept that I have these creepy symptom, I'm never going to conquer it. I believe that my doc is right. In fact, if she kept telling me nothing was wrong, I'd be concerned. The fact that she has put a name and reason to why I'm have these hallucinations puts my mind at ease...a very tiny bit lol. And I know that I am not crazy. I know that I am here and thriving and I'm fully aware of what's happening to me. The fear lies in the future: will this get worse, will I lose my mind completely, is this just the beginning of schizophrenia and a year or two will I be full blown psychotic? That's where the fear is. I know I'm not crazy right now.
But again, I thank all of you for the advice and positive talk. It helps tremendously.
PanicCured
03-30-2013, 09:40 PM
Psychotic Features- is that even a real diagnosis? If a doctor told me I had this I would laugh in his face and be like, "Come on, you got to be joking?" Then I would tell everyone I know that I have been diagnosed with "Psychotic features." and think it's the funniest thing I've ever heard of. Don't you see how funny that is? "Psychotic Features". I'd like to see the actual test results that came up with this diagnoses.
Let's say worst case scenario you really had some psychotic thing going on, what would you do about it? Worry and panic and freak out or do what needs to be done so you can be better? No matter what, freaking out and obsessing over it offers zero benefit.
mellymel
03-30-2013, 09:46 PM
Psychotic Features- is that even a real diagnosis? If a doctor told me I had this I would laugh in his face and be like, "Come on, you got to be joking?" Then I would tell everyone I know that I have been diagnosed with "Psychotic features." and think it's the funniest thing I've ever heard of. Don't you see how funny that is? "Psychotic Features". I'd like to see the actual test results that came up with this diagnoses.
Let's say worst case scenario you really had some psychotic thing going on, what would you do about it? Worry and panic and freak out or do what needs to be done so you can be better? No matter what, freaking out and obsessing over it offers zero benefit.
I'm working on the freaking out part. But it's not gonna disappear over night. And I have a small daughter to care for so it makes the fear even more real. I plan on working with the doctor to get myself better. Im trying to tell myself that if I sadly end up with a serious mental disorder I guess I will deal with it then.
mglover92
03-30-2013, 10:07 PM
did you say you're husband experiences the same thing as well or did I read that wrong?
mellymel
03-30-2013, 10:13 PM
did you say you're husband experiences the same thing as well or did I read that wrong?
Yes he does.
Only he does not obsess over it.
My mom too. And she does not obsess over it either.
Brittany1995
03-31-2013, 12:58 AM
I suggest this as a reassurance that you aren't crazy.
Scroll down:) made me feel better.
http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml
locksey
03-31-2013, 02:21 AM
I suggest this as a reassurance that you aren't crazy.
Scroll down:) made me feel better.
http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml
Wow.... Just bowt anytink then :-/
mellymel
03-31-2013, 11:55 AM
I suggest this as a reassurance that you aren't crazy.
Scroll down:) made me feel better.
http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml
Thanks :) I've been through this list a million times lol
jessed03
03-31-2013, 12:29 PM
Are you thinking about taking anti-psychotics melly, or are you going to take on the task of getting better without them?
mellymel
03-31-2013, 01:59 PM
Are you thinking about taking anti-psychotics melly, or are you going to take on the task of getting better without them?
I don't want the anti psychotics because they are bad on the body, especially the liver and there is significant weight gain with them. I'm a bit superficial and don't want to gain a minimum of 25 lbs. however, I'm not sure if these psychotic things will get better without the meds, I'm afraid they will only get worse and I will go full on psychosis if I don't take them :(
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