Annoyed!

[mellymel]

I am so pissed! I don't know how to manage this shit with a failing marriage and no support system :( I am so angry and sad I could just scream!!!!

[alankay]

What's going on Mellymel?

[mellymel]

Aside from what I am going threw personally (anxiety) me and my husband are light years apart. I feel like he ignores me, he doesn't help me with my daughter when he doesn't feel like it, and he can be very cold towards me. I feel like I'm neglected by him emotionally. I'm a stay at home mom with zero family in the state. I just recently made a few friends, but mostly I am alone. He goes to work and out to eat, has hobbies and friends and I have no time for that stuff. I want time with him but he just doesn't seem to want the same things. I just feel alone all the time. I'm not a cheater but at this point I feel like I'd jump into the arms of the first man to look in my direction just to get his attention. I'm lost.

[mellymel]

And he tells me I just need to "stop being afraid" because I'm always scared of being crazy. It's like he doesn't want to understand.

The sad thing is, he also has depression and PTSD...and I am always available for him :(

[Suicidal Depression]

One thing you have to try to get him to understand is that it's not just easy for you to "stop being afraid". This is a sickness that you can't just control. Maybe try making him understand by comparing it to his PTSD.

[alankay]

Oh.... so at some level you may remind him of .........himself. He may be as tortured as you and unknowingly taking it out on you. Just a thought. Alan

[mellymel]

Oh.... so at some level you may remind him of .........himself. He may be as tortured as you and unknowingly taking it out on you. Just a thought. Alan

I think that may be the case.

At one point that's what drew us together.
Two fucked up 21 year olds with nothing to lose.
We have the same background, very similar childhoods, both lost our dads at the same age. It was like we were destined to be. I mean when ppl are around us they are in awe at how in tuned we are with each other. He can say something that makes no sense to anyone else, but I get it...and vice versa. But maybe your right, maybe watching my pain is like a reflection for him that he just can't handle. I don't know, but I'm hurt.

[trinidiva]

Marriage definitely has its tough days, Mel. I think you probably do share a lot in terms of what you are going through, but he just handles it differently.
You definitely need to have some time for yourself too, to hang out with friends or follow through on some hobbies. I think as moms we feel bad for thinking that way, but as you mentioned, he makes time to go out and socialize a bit, you should also. I know you mentioned that he doesn't help out much with your little one...but if you make plans for a girls night or something, and let him know in advance, would he be cool and encouraging about you going?
I'm sorry you are going through this.

[mellymel]

Marriage definitely has its tough days, Mel. I think you probably do share a lot in terms of what you are going through, but he just handles it differently.
You definitely need to have some time for yourself too, to hang out with friends or follow through on some hobbies. I think as moms we feel bad for thinking that way, but as you mentioned, he makes time to go out and socialize a bit, you should also. I know you mentioned that he doesn't help out much with your little one...but if you make plans for a girls night or something, and let him know in advance, would he be cool and encouraging about you going?
I'm sorry you are going through this.

He is ok if I have something to do, he doesn't mind watching my daughter. But I mean when be gets home from work he just does all these random things, meanwhile I have been with my baby all day with hardly a second to pee alone. I get burned out. I am alone all day everyday practically, so when he gets home I would like to talk or something, but he is busy on his phone or whatever. I feel bad even writing this about him, he's not a bad husband, we just have something in the way I guess. Probably his anxiety and mine . I just hope things start to work out because I love him.