A little encouragement for y'all

[TraderTif]

I've been dealing with Agoraphobia now for a couple of years. And when it first struck, I was basically homebound for a couple months.

And I've just been gradually trying and trying to do a bit more. (I remember my first "outing" was a car-ride to the town dump, lol).

I gradually worked my way up to shopping, in small stores, and then big ones, and then malls. I worked on eating in restaurants, starting with eating a sandwich at the corner store, up to fast-food, and recently in actual sit-down restaurants.

And today, for the first time in years, I got a haircut! Yes I really and truly did! And I did not have a panic attack! And now I have a cool new hair-do! Literally!! (2 braids, each 28-inches long, to donate to charity!!)

And I went to the eyeglass place and picked out some new eyeglass frames! I haven't had an exam in years, and I'm a little nervous about it. But I found a place that will do walk-in exams, and there's hardly ever anyone there.

I'm hoping that getting an eye exam will be a good start. I haven't been to a doctor or dentist in many years. But I'm going to work up to it. Yes I will!!

I've also been trying to work on going to church. (I haven't been to mass in years.) But I know a shrine up north that has outdoor masses, so I thought that might be a good way to start.

I can do it!! I can do it!!! WE can do it!!!!

Tif =8-)

[imported_admin]

Hey Tif, good to hear you are making positive steps! Life is too short to stay at home...you show that Agoraphobia who is boss! :)

[sameBoat]

That's cool, well done.

A way that helps me to deal with anxiety is to let go. This will seem strange but I just give in, and it works all the time.

So when I go outside I can imagine a million reasons to get anxiety like I have in the past, but now I just think "oh well, anything out of my control is...out of my control. if i [insert fear here] then that will happen anyway, so why get anxiety about it. if it happens it happens"

read "the power of now" by eckhart tolle.
his main jist is that if you focus on the now (this split second, this moment) and not any time in the past or future, you can never have anxiety.

Anxiety only exists in the future and past. never in the present.

it makes sense "what if ..." ," i wish i had just..." it is all just future and past.

so never think about the future or past. and you don't need to anyway. you can plan in the future but never assume you know how you will FEEL when the future arrives. That is the key. Projecting how you will feel in the future is the cause of anxiety.

Just go and do whatever it is that you have planned and while you are doing it, stay in the now.

I am walking outside, I am checking the letterbox, i am walking down the street to the shop (oh look a dog, he is cute), i didn't realize there was 154 slabs of concrete from my house to the shop, i need milk and bread, i am getting the milk first......."

if anxiety comes into your mind, then think " well, this is me and where i am in 2008 on 4th feb. I am right here, in the frozen food section of the market. this is right where i am right now. i am here and this is what i am doing right this moment. the future doesn't exist. the past never happened. it is only me here right now doing this.

see what i mean ? if you had thought, oh no i am away from my house, that is too far, i feared doing this and now i am going to panic because that is what i think is going to happen.......you are looking into the future. You didn't panic until you thought that thought of it happening in the future.

Ok, so what if you do panic. The worst is that you may feel really really scared or worst case for some people is they might faint or be sick or cry or whatever. But i mean, that's not bad. if you have any of these symptoms, then someone will comfort you and if no one is around, you will still live. and the anxiety will wash over you in a few minutes because your body can't handle that much adrenaline for long periods of time. and then you brain will give you ceratonin which will make you feel good and calm. so go sit down on a milk crate and focus on the floor or how many red bottle of milk there are compared to blue ones. ride it out. think to yourself, when this anxiety washes over me and i am still standing here afterwards, and i get that calm feeling again( well relatively calm compared to the anxiety attack) I will know that next time the symptoms will not be as bad, because i didn't give in and run home, i stayed here and accepted it.

your brain will see that it didn't get the reaction it wanted and will tone down the symptoms as it re-writes in its experience journal that the situation you were in obviously didn't require so much adrenaline because you didn't run anywhere after your brain gave it to you. So it will bring down the adrenaline dosage and ALSO the brain will loosen the connection it has between shop and panic until one day there is no connection and your brain doesn't give you adrenaline in shops because it learnt that it didn't need to. It is just trying to help.

I have done this and found it to work all the time. i only have 1 or 2 situations that make me panicy now. All the others are gone due to facing that fear. I know how scarey it is. I think the first day I decided to challenge the fear was becuase i was so pissed off and tired of it stopping me from doing things that i sat there and rode it out and asked god to give me more anxiety because the paralysing panic i had wasn't enough hahaha it's funny to look back on now.

I hope this helps someone.

[agoraphobia]

Hi,

I'm new to the forums, and have been dealing with this since age 16. The agoraphobia didn't hit me until I was 22. I would not take medication at that time, because I was afraid of any side affects, which was a part of the phobia and panic attacks, so I saw a Psy. for well over 2 years.

I was able to enroll in college, got all of my core classess out of the way, and was accepted into the school of nursing. I was doing well, and had a quater left, and it hit me again, a bad panic attact out of the blue, so once again the avoidence set in, and needless to say I was unable to finish. That was in 91, and I've pretty much been this way until about 3 years ago, and I was able to start to take small steps (with my wife present, as she is part of my safety zone), and I have made it to some shopping areas, got my hair cut, which was a difficlt thing to start with, because of the trapped felling. Now it is not as bad.

I have still not been able to renew my drivers Lic. because the DMV is just too far out and way out of my safety zone. Hopefully one day I will make it out there.

I am taking 40 mgs of Porzac and 8 MGs of Xanax per day. I have been taking Xanax since 91.

I know that all of this is the way you preceive things, and thus becomes a learned behavior, which is very difficult to recondition yourself.

Anyway, I got off topic there. I just wanted to say that I am gald to hear that you are making progress, and to keep plucking away. ;)

[dna_hard]

[quote="agoraphobia"]

I am taking 40 mgs of Porzac and 8 MGs of Xanax per day. I have been taking Xanax since 91.
quote]

8mg a day? I try to stay under 2mg per day; the lexapro seems to be helping, i prob need to up my dosage from 10mg to 20mg

[trackstar]

Good job! Read some cbt books and do the exercises if you can they really help.

[nikki2008]

I always feel so jealous when I read these posts, I selfishy always feel like theres another one leaving me behind iykwim (probably not lol)! I cant imagine ever being free of this.. my fiance tells me to be more positive, but after 4 years of this, and things getting even worse lately, all my positivity has just about all gone.

Seriously though that is great what youve achieved. My gp told me to try and build up to things, but thats about all he told me, that and stick situations out until the panic subsides.

Its funny you mention the hair cut thing, Ive been cutting my own hair for the last 8 months! I cant imagine being able to sit down for 45 mins to get a cut.. I used to love getting a new do, but now its something else thats filled with fear. I went and had a manicure about a month ago, that was 30-45 minute of awfulness(!) clock watching, feeling sick to my stomach, wobbly etc, I only went because my parents bought me it as a pressie (they didnt know at the time how bad things were).

Ive bought 3 CBT books but it just doesnt seem to sink into my brain!! I just cant concentrate either.

Anyway, Im really pleased for you, its great keep it up :D well done!

[trackstar]

Which CBT books did you buy? I really liked the one by Sam Obitz it's short and has the TEA form exercise in it which is what has helped me the most with my anxieties. I hope you find relief soon and keep your chin up because i never thought I'd find releif and I think I have now :mrgreen:

[subaruba]

Hey guys...I'm new the forum. Actually, this is the first time I've used any forum.

I am willing to try anything though, and reading this first page already made me feel a little better. I swear it feels like no one else in the world can be like me, but I guess I'm wrong!!

I have anxiety--I guess agoraphobia. I just went off Lexapro (been on 4 years), and I'm DONE WITH IT!!!!! I don't want to be on medicine. I need to get through this without drugs. Lexapro took away my sex drive, and made me have harsh feelings at times, and made me lose some interest in my relationship. Also, I want to have a baby in a few years, and I don't want that stuff in my system. So I came here for help!!!!!!

Basically I went off the medicine 5 weeks ago, and I am just now starting up the panic attacks. Example--I went to class the other night, and had to leave early because I thought I was going to freak out and throw up. I could not stand it.

Now, I am afraid to go places. I still do--everyday, but it is only certain situations when it happens. I'm going to the GP Wednesday, and hope to get into some therapy. Anyone else have any on-the-spot suggestions for coping with panic attacks? :cry:

[iranon]

That's cool, well done.

A way that helps me to deal with anxiety is to let go. This will seem strange but I just give in, and it works all the time....

I didn't wanna quote the whole piece as it was quite large, but I wanted to say that this was a really great thing to read and I wanted to thank you sameBoat for writing it.

:)