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[defmunel]

Well, I went to my doc appt. took my friend with me. Most miles look ok. I do have a suspicious one on my back. It needs a biopsy. Now I'm really scared. And I can't get in to dermatology for a month!

[defmunel]

I realize my logical brain isn't working correctly. I also realize my OCD has kicked in hardcore. This is not my first time battling the evil of this disease. I've been down this road before. I went through every test, every doc told me I'm fine and couldn't confirm my fears. Now that I've had the whole work up of my heart, I am confident it is fine. But my mind needs something else to obsess about. And for a while, it had nothing. I was starving it. Then my friends diagnosis. This gave my brain something to latch onto. Something to fear. And I've allowed it. It's been a while since I've felt this way. Now I'm struggling to let go. I can't seem to let the fears go! The what ifs are killing me. The "new" symptoms I'm having. Associating it all with cancer. All of the signs I've been given. Like I said earlier. It's OCD. And it sucks. A lot.

[randomanxiety]

Hang in there Def! I know you had the strength to do this before and you CAN do it again! Try to picture something you enjoy when the "what if's" pop into your head. Distract that brain of yours dont let it go down that road again!
I know you can do this :) Take Care