New here

[TaRud]

Hi im new here. Trying to find a place where im not alone. Ive had anxiety my whole life but just recently quit smoking 8 weeks ago and now my anxiety is turning into panic attacks! I hate the feeling! I started to see a therapist a few weeks ago and will be seeing a psych dr at the end of the month!
Im a married mom of a 2 1/2 boy. Im trying to be the best mom i can be but its so hard living like this!!! I live in fear everyday and i live to please people cause im afraid to say no or i feel guilty. I hope this is the right place for me!

[NixonRulz]

You're in the right place and welcome aboard

Good to see you are going straight at this instead of doing everything on your own

Only you can beat this but it is good to see a few people and perhaps something to make you feel a little better so you can work on beating this like so many others here have

Good to see the doc to make sure you are in great physical shape

Remember to never fight the feelings but accept them as symptoms of your anxiety

I think this forum is the best therapy that you can have

You are way ahead of the game and just don't realize it.

[Lin]

I am new to this too but just getting a reply from someone gives me a lift that someone cares enough to reply. Sure it will help, if only to stop you feeling alone.

[TaRud]

Thanks guys!!!!!! Its hard when i have attacks and just cry my hubby doesnt understand and my family has always called me a hypo which hurts alot!!! Im sick of my mind taking over and maybe this can be my outlet! Ive been feeling so tired lately my brain my body everything is just tired! I hope i can get this all sorted out!

[TaRud]

I am new to this too but just getting a reply from someone gives me a lift that someone cares enough to reply. Sure it will help, if only to stop you feeling alone.


Yes a response does make you feel like someone is listening and cares!!!

[locksey]

Yes a response does make you feel like someone is listening and cares!!!

I agree " regarding a response " :-)

[TaRud]

Are any of you moms?

[phoenixup]

Are any of you moms?

Yes, I have a five year old daughter that started kindergarten in the fall. It is very hard being a mom to a young child and taking care of yourself. I started having panic attacks about 4 months ago. I can say that things have gotten better. There is hope for you! Allow yourself to know that you are doing the best that you can. I also don't have a lot of emotional support from my husband about my anxiety. He just doesn't understand, and has hard time emphasizing.

To him, it's just all in my head, and why can't I just turn it off? I would love to turn these thoughts off!!! Worry is useless!! I keep trying to tell myself that, sometimes it helps. But, my therapist has helped me work on my feelings of quilt about my daughter. I give her all I can, but I feel bad that this anxiety has kept me from enjoying her and being there for her.

[TaRud]

Yes, I have a five year old daughter that started kindergarten in the fall. It is very hard being a mom to a young child and taking care of yourself. I started having panic attacks about 4 months ago. I can say that things have gotten better. There is hope for you! Allow yourself to know that you are doing the best that you can. I also don't have a lot of emotional support from my husband about my anxiety. He just doesn't understand, and has hard time emphasizing.

To him, it's just all in my head, and why can't I just turn it off? I would love to turn these thoughts off!!! Worry is useless!! I keep trying to tell myself that, sometimes it helps. But, my therapist has helped me work on my feelings of quilt about my daughter. I give her all I can, but I feel bad that this anxiety has kept me from enjoying her and being there for her.

I have a 2 1/2 year old who goes everywhere with me if I'm not working..my husband doesn't have a set time to get out of work! Its taking its toll on me. I have been trying to take an hr or 2 a week for me time but i always feel guilty! Guilty that I'm missing out on time with him (it doesn't help my 6 year old cousin passed away in aug) i live in fear that if i leave something will happen yes in a bad way and ill never get that time back! I hate this guilty/ worry feeling its taken over my life and i just wanna feel "normal" again!
When it comes to the hubby i usually try and hid my emotions i never cry at home except for this past friday i had a meltdown! I usually hold it in until I'm in the car or at work. I don't like my baby boy to see me cry even though its good for him to see emotion! Somedays i just wanna run the f away... Then i feel like the worst mom for feeling that way!

[Lin]

I have a 22 year old son at university who supports me when he knows I need it. My depression is hormone related so menopause now, but in past post natal depression many times after miscarriages etc. My last lot was in 1995 after an ectopic pregnancy and I had 3 weeks in hospital. My son says he remembers visiting me then. This time I was in hospital for 7 weeks in 2011and my son visited and didn't mind it was a mental hospital. My husband has always given me as much support as possible but does not understand depression at all. Unfortunately post natal depression only last a few months until hormones go back to normal and anti depressants help during that time. This time the menopause is taking much longer and they can't get my hormones sorted or find an anti depressant which will work because for some reason body has gone against main bodies of anti depressants which I used to be able to take. Sorry lots of background to tell you that now my husband is really struggling as gone on too long - hates me crying, mocks me, criticises me and really doesn't know how to handle me at times. I have managed to be back full time at work for a year now but my social life did not come back when returned to work. So we have no social life. Also all my energy goes into being normal at work so my husband does nearly everything at home - cooking, cleaning, food and town shopping. I know I have done all these jobs for most of our married life, but he is really struggling and I just have such a gone wrong head l cannot help at all at times. Sorry long and rambling, but yes guilt and all sorts I feel but just have to do what can at moment and hope find help soon.

[TaRud]

Makes me feel so much better that im NOT alone in this and that it seems the men in our lives just don't get it!! Im not eating but once a day sex feels like a chore..im wondering if i should bring the hubby to a therapy session so maybe ne can see that this all stems from my childhood and its gonna take a long time to heal?

[phoenixup]

I had the same thought. I want to take my husband to a therapy session, so he could try & understand what I'm going through. He agreed to go, but the appt is next week. I'll let u now how it goes. So far, he has tried to be supportive, but hs patience is almost gone.

[phoenixup]

I've had the same feelings about something happening to my daughter when she isn't with me. If she isn't with me she's at school. We don't hire babysitters and go out. I feel quilty leaving her.

[Lin]

My husband has refused carer support this year although I thought it helped him last year - well if not him, it definitely helped me because he was much more understanding and caring. I just can't stand his criticism and mocking when I get really bad, he also says I am talking myself into it when I say I need to ring sometime to talk to for help, which is really horrible and makes it difficult for me to ring anyone or calm my head down. Sex went out the window months ago - have had to have two knee operations recently so even in separate beds at moment for first time ever. Some days can't see any end of all this bad life, only my ending it all, but worried I would mess up the rest of my son's life.

[TaRud]

I had the same thought. I want to take my husband to a therapy session, so he could try & understand what I'm going through. He agreed to go, but the appt is next week. I'll let u now how it goes. So far, he has tried to be supportive, but hs patience is almost gone.

Yes please let me know how it goes!!!!

[TaRud]

I've had the same feelings about something happening to my daughter when she isn't with me. If she isn't with me she's at school. We don't hire babysitters and go out. I feel quilty leaving her.

I got out and leave the baby with a sitter but im usually out with my husband. And the baby only stays with my family or our sitter who i trust with everything i have! If i dont have my hubby out with me im full of anxiety! I guess hes like a security blanket if you will! Im trying so hard to stray away from that! Ugh its so hard!

[Lin]

I honestly don't know why my husband stays with me. After 2 years of clinical depression, I can't see that I give him any pleasure, only grief. So I should not be surprised when he gets fed up once in a while and has had enough - at those times I only see it from my side and needing his support. I don't know that I would have coped with me the last 2 years and still be with me.

[Colibri]

I honestly don't know why my husband stays with me. After 2 years of clinical depression, I can't see that I give him any pleasure, only grief. So I should not be surprised when he gets fed up once in a while and has had enough - at those times I only see it from my side and needing his support. I don't know that I would have coped with me the last 2 years and still be with me.

Lin, maybe the answer is: love.

[Lin]

Colibri - it would be lovely if it was love, But doesn't feel like it most days, more like he doesn't know how to get out of it all!

[DorsetGirl]

Colibri - it would be lovely if it was love, But doesn't feel like it most days, more like he doesn't know how to get out of it all!

Hi Lin,

I agree with Colibri, love got you through many tough times in your life. He was there by your side through them all and he wants to be by your side through this tough time too. In his heart I expect he is wishing he could help more and doesn't want you to be hurting.

My partner says that he wishes he could feel how I feel, just so that he understands as he finds it so frustrating that he doesn't know what to do to help me. He says that I need to talk to him more, even if he can't help, just getting it out if my system makes me so much calmer.

He knows that when I scream and shout and when I go quiet and withdrawn its not because I'm angry with him but because I do not know how to express how I'm feeling in any other way and he knows that when I'm ready and in my own time I will be better and he just wants to be there for me if I need him at anytime.

I understand that people are not mind readers and they can only begin to understand if we tell them what we want and how we feel.

xx

[Colibri]

Hi Lin,

I agree with Colibri, love got you through many tough times in your life. He was there by your side through them all and he wants to be by your side through this tough time too. In his heart I expect he is wishing he could help more and doesn't want you to be hurting.

My partner says that he wishes he could feel how I feel, just so that he understands as he finds it so frustrating that he doesn't know what to do to help me. He says that I need to talk to him more, even if he can't help, just getting it out if my system makes me so much calmer.

He knows that when I scream and shout and when I go quiet and withdrawn its not because I'm angry with him but because I do not know how to express how I'm feeling in any other way and he knows that when I'm ready and in my own time I will be better and he just wants to be there for me if I need him at anytime.

I understand that people are not mind readers and they can only begin to understand if we tell them what we want and how we feel.

xx

Perfect words, DorsetGirl. I agree with all of it.

[DorsetGirl]

Perfect words, DorsetGirl. I agree with all of it.

Thanks Colibri,

Sometimes we underestimate how much others care for us when in ourselves we feel so worthless

[Lin]

Thank you both of you, gives me hope. It is just the criticising and mocking even when I ask him not to. I think he does love me really or he would let me do something stupid, but hard to remember and believe some days when feeling down.

[DorsetGirl]

Thank you both of you, gives me hope. It is just the criticising and mocking even when I ask him not to. I think he does love me really or he would let me do something stupid, but hard to remember and believe some days when feeling down.

Perhaps the criticising and mocking is his way of trying to approach you to open up more ?

because we are all more sensitive about things because of our illnesses, we always seem to find the negative in everything. Perhaps he doesn't think what he is doing is as bad as you are perceiving it to be. Just a thought ?

xx

[Lin]

Yes you are probably right. Often when he mocks and criticises is when I lose my temper, so perhaps he doesn't know any other way to handle me. My tempers are really nasty so if I was well perhaps I would handle it badly too. He is really struggling to understand, and since I don't understand it, I suppose I can't expect him to understand.

[Colibri]

Yes you are probably right. Often when he mocks and criticises is when I lose my temper, so perhaps he doesn't know any other way to handle me. My tempers are really nasty so if I was well perhaps I would handle it badly too. He is really struggling to understand, and since I don't understand it, I suppose I can't expect him to understand.

You see... I wish he could read this.

[lonelygirl]

Hi I am new and didnt know where to jump in so here goes and hope I didnt piss anyone off if I did I am truly sorry. Just wanted to say hi and join the group and check it out. Hope to talk to some of you soon.

[locksey]

Hi I am new and didnt know where to jump in so here goes and hope I didnt piss anyone off if I did I am truly sorry. Just wanted to say hi and join the group and check it out. Hope to talk to some of you soon.

Hi , I came on here a few wks back and didnt have a clue where to join In , where to post etc but got the hang ov it now :-)

[lonelygirl]

Hi , I came on here a few wks back and didnt have a clue where to join In , where to post etc but got the hang ov it now :-)

Thanks for responding to me locksey I really appreciated it it was nice to have someone to talk for the first time :)

[phoenixup]

My husband criticizes and mocks me too about my anxiety. It's very hurtful, I'll tell him that it wasn't something loving to say to me. I feel it comes from his frustration that there is nothing he can do to help. He feels helpless, and my anxiety has really hurt my marriage.

[locksey]

Thanks for responding to me locksey I really appreciated it it was nice to have someone to talk for the first time :)

No probs :-)

[locksey]

No probs :-)

You kan also send sumone a personal msg if u wan ask sumink or dnt wan out sumink on here 4 all to see

[Lin]

Hi Lonely Girl, hope you find this forum as good as I have. After only a few weeks i have made lots of friends. Like you did, just jump in and join in threads no-one minds.
So cross with husband yesterday - managed to walk to Tesco yesterday, first time out since first knee op in Dec with no stick, did a week's shop on my own with no panics, for first time in virtually 2 years and when I got back he was too busy to help unpack, then noticed I had got the wrong tea bag offer, no well done, encouragement, or thanks for doing the shop which he has hated doing, also bought him a nice bottle of red wine to celebrate, even though I can't have any. So back to angry and screaming - so ate lunch in separate rooms. I only needed one word of well done and encouragement and I would have stayed on the moon about what i had achieved, instead back down angry and shouting!

[Pintara3]

I am new here. After suffering debilitating panic attacks for 10 years.
It is now 12 years since I have had a panic attack. I am truely blessed today,I am happy,healthy and living an amazing life
Graeme

[warumtera]

you are not alone friend we ar all here to help